Note: Surprise! I haven't forgotten this one. It's just slow going because I personally think it's a little weird. It kind of reminds me of those "artsy" films that can't afford proper scores so you hear everything including the way everybody breathes. Usually they're unnecessarily dramatic and end abruptly...

Anyway. There will be at least one more chapter. Not sure yet.

Simon caught a plane before the second week was out. His absence left a troubling hole that hadn't ever been there before. On Wednesday morning before she went to bed, Erza absently dipped a bag of chamomile tea in and out of a mug and couldn't decide if she missed Simon or the role he was supposed to be playing in her life.

When she woke the next evening, she had an inbox full of pictures. Kagura and her wife were glowing and their baby with her pink cheeks and fuzzy hat prodded Erza's heart in a place that made her feel even emptier inside.

For the first time since the desolation of a graveyard shift sank in, Erza looked forward to catching the bus at nine in the evening. She even caught herself reaching for a tube of lip gloss instead of lip balm. Her stomach was filled with nervous butterflies and she decided to stop feeling guilty for it.

Jellal Fernandes's leg had been broken in two places but it was the injuries to his torso that kept him in the hospital. Four broken ribs and the sternum fracture severely limited his breathing. Despite his short breaths, Erza found that she loved his voice. It was soothing and stuck in her ears like cotton candy on fingers.

She no longer bothered with feelings like shame and spend her lunch and breaks in his room.

"Ultear told me you asked if she was my wife," Jellal said, carefully shuffling a deck of cards that look like they'd been loved too hard. His skill with them amused and impressed her. It wasn't lost on Erza how easily she'd become infatuated with every little thing he did.

"Ah," Erza flustered and tried very hard not to blush. "I did. I wasn't trying to pry. We just didn't know who to contact. I was curious and you hadn't had any visitors –"

"It's fine," he said with a short laugh. His smile flinched and she wondered how badly the laughing hurt him. "I don't mind that you asked."

"She said no anyway but promised to let your mother know."

"Ultear and I are divorced," he stated plainly. "She hasn't been my wife since we were teenagers."

"Oh." Erza didn't know what else to say. The admission surprised her.

"It… was a complicated thing." Jellal flipped one card over between his fingers. "There wasn't another solution at the time and we divorced soon after."

"You don't have to tell me any of this," Erza said softly, glancing away from him to the window. The rain outside slid down the glass in thick trails and disturbed the view from his windows.

"I wanted to. I mean, I want to." Jellal stared at the card in his hand for a long moment and Erza enjoyed simply watching him. He heaved as heavy a breath as he was able and suddenly grinned. "Even if I had romantic love for her, she wouldn't reciprocate."

"No?"

"No. Ultear has been a skirt chaser for as long as I've known her."

"My boyfriend's sister is the same. She's finally settled now and her wife just had a baby." Erza bit her lip and watched for any reaction. He nodded slightly and slid the loose card back into the deck.

"My mother knows Ultear's preferences but doesn't quite understand why we aren't still married." He sighed. "In the same breath she'll also try to set me up with her students."

"Is she a teacher?"

"A professor of music. I've been out with a few of her attempts but the problem is always me." His smile sent the butterflies in her stomach fluttering wildly. "I guess maybe I'm just too needy for a college student."

Erza laughed and felt her cheeks heat. "College is too distracting for a serious relationship," she said softly, realizing her own hypocrisy. "I hear music is quite consuming."

"What does your boyfriend do?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said with an unintended edge. "He travels around making sure fancy buildings get built right." Erza bit her lip and decided to be blunt. "He's not around much, to be honest. I'm trying to decide if that's a problem. Sometimes I think it's fine but other times…" She glanced over at him and found his eyes trained on hers. "Other times I think I don't want an absent boyfriend."

"Hollow things stay hollow," he murmured. "Sometimes it's because we never put anything in there and sometimes there's a hole in the bottom."

"That's an interesting way of putting it."

"My abuela was an interesting woman." Jellal sighed and glanced at the face of his new phone. "This thing says I've got PT in a few minutes."

Erza stood and folded her hands in front of her. "I should go. I've got a few more things to do before heading home. My shift ended a while ago."

"Is this goodbye for now?"

"For now," she said, smiling.

She dreamed that his lips tasted of something soft like vanilla. His palms and fingers weren't smooth. Erza woke with in a cold sweat and a burning need to know where he lived, and what his sheets looked like.

Simon texted when she was in the shower and Erza opted to not respond until much, much later.

"So, in theory, I could say I had a high hand but really have nothing?" Erza asked, smirking from behind her fan of cards.

"That's the point." Jellal slid his cards into a stack and placed them facedown on his side table. "You've got to make me believe your cards are good so I'll keep betting."

"Is that why they call it poker face?"

"Yep."

"How's mine?"

"Horrible."

Erza laughed. "I'm trying!"

"Let's see." He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and pulled her hand into his lap. "This is a truly terrible hand, Erza."

"I wouldn't have known either way," she said, not pulling away. Jellal focused on their hands and slid his fingers between hers. "How did you wind up nearly splattered on the road?" Erza asked in a breath. His hands were just as rough as they were in her dream. She wanted to know why. She wanted to know everything.

"I was on my way home from a particularly bad shift. I guess I let myself get distracted. It's never safe to be going that fast in the rain."

"What do you do?"

"Well, I went to school for math stuff and then got lost in the stars. I don't have the discipline for a doctorate program so I dropped out and started over."

"Wow."

"That's what my mom said, only with less polite words. She was happy when I got my EMT certification and then I got the glare again when I went into the fire academy."

"So you're a firefighter?"

"Yep."

"Do you like it?"

"It's exciting. Weird hours though." His grin disarmed her utterly. "I think you can understand that."

"I can. I never planned on being an ER nurse but here we are."

"I remember the chaos that comes before the ER. I can't imagine carrying that forward once we leave."

"It's messy." Erza twisted her hand so his palm pressed against hers. "I like nursing but I'm starting to realize this isn't a department I want to stay in."

"That's fair." He stared hard at their hands. "Sometimes change is a good thing."

"It is." She wanted to expound on the subject but the silence between them choked her.

"Deep breath in," the doctor said quietly. "Okay, good. Exhale slowly."

Erza watched the examination from the far corner of Jellal's room. Her fingertips drew anxious shapes on the curve of her neck. He'd be released any day now and she didn't want to face what that meant.

"I think it's safe to say, Mister Fernandes, you're well on the mend. Your breathing has improved a great deal." The doctor sighed. "I'm sorry the leg surgery wasn't possible. There were just too many other complications. You'll have to wait for the bones to heal on their own."

"I think I can manage that if I can go home."

"We'll give it another twenty-four hours and go from there. I'm recommending outpatient PT."

"Thanks."

Erza didn't watch the doctor go. Her eyes were glued to the sun beyond the window glass. She should be in bed already. When had it become her norm to stay with him until well into the morning?

"You're awful quiet over there," he said, breaking the silence.

"It'll be boring around here without you," she said without thinking.

"My presence entertains the entire hospital?" Jellal laughed softly and settled back against his pillows.

"Maybe not the whole hospital but you've certainly made my shifts a brighter place." She crossed the room and felt his gaze on her even though she hadn't met his eyes.

"I wouldn't mind being a part of your world beyond your shifts, Erza."

"Jellal –" Part of her wondered when they'd become so casual. So intimately acquainted. "I'm in a weird place right now. I don't know what I want to do about it."

"Maybe I don't mind." His expression was smooth and honest. Erza chewed on her lip and pressed her thumb to the underside of his wrist. His bones felt so fragile. She'd seen the inside of him once and watched him almost die. Perhaps spending time with him would be a black hole she'd fall into that further complicated her life but maybe… maybe he was something brighter.

The building was older than she expected. Very lived in. The brick was wet and the iron rails of the fence, cold. On the front steps a little girl licked vanilla ice cream from her fingers while her older brother tapped away at the face of his phone. The girl laughed raucously and the boy glanced up briefly and smiled. Erza walked right past them both and peered at the buzzer panel.

"It's open," the boy said from behind her. "They're supposed to have it locked all the time but there's somebody moving in today and it's open."

"Thanks," Erza muttered, pulling the door open. The inside was all hard wood and smooth walls. An elevator stood at the end of the hallway but Erza took the stairs all the way to the third floor. Jellal's apartment was a corner unit and she instantly felt bad for knocking because the sound of his cast hitting the floor could be heard on the other side of the door. He smiled as the whoosh of air disturbed the strands of her hair that brushed her shoulders.

"Are you ready?" she blurted. This was new. All of this was new.

"Yeah." Jellal reached for his jacket and edged out into the hall before pulling it on. "I didn't hear you buzz."

"That's because I didn't. The kids on the front stoop said the door was unlocked for a move in today."

"Ah, they're full of shit. That's just what they tell their parents during spring break when they have friends over and don't want to log the buzzer."

"I see." Erza watched him pull the hood of his jacket free and zip the front. "You have the address, right?"

"Yep! Thanks for driving me. My mom had a lecture and Ultear is…" He laughed under his breath. "She's busy. The Captain says if I get busted driving before this cast is off they'll put me in the kitchen for six months."

"I don't think you could drive with that even if you wanted to."

"Mm –" Jellal's grin turned wicked. "I could if I tried. But I won't."

"Are you no good in the kitchen?"

"I'm excellent in the kitchen but the firehouse is a tough crowd. They only ever want the basics." He started down the hallway and paused beside the stairs before continuing toward the elevator.

"You don't like the basics?"

"They're alright but I like things a little more complicated than that."

They stepped into the elevator and when the doors slid closed, Erza's heart began to race. He smelled like soap and deodorant and something sugary like the homemade icing that seeped into every twist of a cinnamon bun.

"I get a lot of takeout," she finally said into the silence. "I never really bought much kitchen stuff becau –" Erza cleared her throat awkwardly. "I never got around to it, I guess."

The real reason her kitchen still stood mostly bare was because she'd been waiting for Simon to suggest they move in together. The softer, more romantic part of her wanted everything to be theirs. She wanted the ownership of new things and not things that were still hers but in a shared kitchen. It seemed silly when on the verge of being spoken out loud.

"It's hard to settle when you work the graveyard," Jellal offered.

"Yeah."

Jellal's physical therapist was part of a sports medicine complex next door to an orthopedist. They worked on breathing techniques and exercises to try and curb atrophy in his broken leg. He looked miserable and Erza found herself wanting to fix it.

And simultaneously wondered what the fuck she was doing. Why was she escorting this man to his therapy sessions? A shuttle could've easily provided the service. Why was she talking to him about her mostly empty apartment and the seemingly endless holes in her life?

Because he's not Mirajane and Simon never asks.

The answer was simple but hurt more than she thought it should considering how long it had been a known fact.

Jellal was silent in the car ride back. He seemed tired.

"The insurance company paid off my bike," he finally said as they neared his building. "I don't know if I'll get another one. My mom says this car is enough but I'll miss the bike."

"You should do what you think will make you happy."

"I'm happy right now."

Erza laughed lightly and pulled into the small lot behind his building. "Right this second you're happy?"

"Yeah. I'm happy that you drove me today and I'm happy you haven't left yet."

"You looked miserable earlier," she said softly, pulling the keys from the ignition.

"PT sucks. But now it's over." He reached for the keys and Erza held them out in the palm of her hand. Jellal took the keys and put them away in his pocket but didn't let go of her hand. "When does your bus come?"

"They run all day. Every twenty minutes or so."

"Are you hungry?"

"Only if you plan on backing up your claim that you're excellent in the kitchen."

"I think I can manage that."

Jellal didn't let go of her hand until they crossed the threshold of his apartment.

"You what?" Mirajane hissed. "Why?"

"Because he needed a ride," Erza said airily – more airily than she actually felt.

"They have shuttles for that, Erza. Why did he call you?"

"Because I gave him my number and told him to call me if he needed anything." Erza could feel the purse of Mirajane's lips.

"Erza, you know I support you moving on from Simon. You know that. But not like this. You're still with him and now you're spending time with motorcycle guy? At his house where he cooks for you? Reddit calls this an emotional affair. Did you know that?"

"That's stupid. I haven't done anything." Even as she said the words she knew they were lies. Besides letting Jellal hold her hand – and liking it very much – she knew that he knew they were inching closer and closer to something treacherous.

"Erza, listen to you. You and motorcycle guy experienced something very tragic together and you've bonded over that. This kind of stuff happens a lot and relationships built on that don't last. And that's to say nothing of relationships that start out when one half is still in a relationship with someone else."

"Good thing we aren't in a relationship then." Erza pulled all of the dirty spare scrubs from her locker and stuffed them in her bag. Laundry was a required evil.

"You know what I mean."

Erza closed her locker shut and turned to face Mirajane. "I understand you're concerned, Mira. But I promise, I'm fine. We're just…" The words tangled on her tongue and Mirajane took the opportunity.

"Break up with Simon. If you care about this guy at all break up with Simon. Honestly, Erza, you should do that anyway."

Erza stared at the burned slices of sausage and, with a frustrated sigh, tossed them out. Her morning meal would be cold cereal and milk. The attempt at cooking was pathetic. She lacked everything necessary for it and didn't want to think about why she'd made the effort in the first place.

The shrill ring of her phone came just as she swallowed the last mouthful of milk from her empty bowl. The name on the face of the phone annoyed her. She wondered if Simon ever bothered to remember she'd normally be sleeping.

"Hello?" she answered snappishly.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"No, it's fine," she lied. "I was about to turn in, though."

"Perfect. I'm bushed."

"Listen, Simon –"

"Buzz me up? I'm outside your building."

Erza's annoyance flared. What? "I'm too tired to understand what you're saying. Are you here?"

"Yes, Erza. I'm outside your building. Haven't you been getting my texts? I caught an earlier flight. Are you going to let me up or do I need to call a cab back to my place?"

"Uh, right. Sorry." Erza ended the call abruptly and crossed her apartment to the panel near the door. Her finger hesitated over the white button. Mirajane's voice rattled in her head. What she should do is call Simon back and tell him it was over.

Instead she pressed the button that would allow Simon access into the building.

Erza stared at the fan of sunlight that seeped through the edges of her light canceling curtains. Streaks of it pointed toward the opposite wall but were ultimately choked by darkness. Simon breathed deeply beside her. When she glanced over at him the sight of his naked skin made her stomach turn.

What are you doing?

Was it fair to let Simon fuck her while she closed her eyes and pretended to see someone else?

Is it fair for him to pop in and out whenever he wants all while dropping hints that your schedule – your life – is unacceptable?

His complaints of her meal of cold cereal had irritated her. His questions about text messages she'd muted irritated her. The way he breathed into the curve of her neck while pressing his chest to her back irritated her.

Erza's phone buzzed on the side table and without hesitation she reached for it. Jellal had sent her a picture of his breakfast. Her stomach rumbled. In the corner of the photo she caught a glimpse of his wrist and remembered pressing her thumb against the delicate tangle of bones and blood vessels. She remembered the rough feel of his skin in her dreams. Erza's mind twisted the hospital sheets into her own and she let the phone slide off the edge of the bed and her hand found the spot between her thighs that hadn't been stirred at all by the man sleeping next to her.