As it was, Gamzee turned out not to be alone.
Vriska and Terezi were quick to step into view, grinning like the malicious trolls they were. The humans all noticeably tensed, not liking where this was going. One troll was enough of a menace by itself, but three on three? That screamed trouble.
Matters became even worse when Karkat joined them, scowling down at the humans, crossing his arms over his chest as if he wished he were currently looking down at anyone else.
Four on three. This was looking worse and worse.
John glanced around nervously, looking for any side of Jade, but Dave apparently decided to show he had more guts than any of his other friends, turning his head to look straight upwards, as if towards the ceiling, though they all knew he was actually looking up at Gamzee, who was still towering above him. He arched a fair brow and pointed to the container of Betty Crocker pastries, "Do you have any idea how hard I just worked to get those? Not cool, dude."
Gamzee looked mildly surprised at this news, "Wha—? What's so mother***in' good about these things? They look like all kinds of tears, human bro."
He popped the lid and tore a slice off swiftly, popping it into his mouth before Dave or Rose could protest, though by their pale faces, John figured they were pretty horrified.
"Hey, that's pretty chill," the clownish troll said, sounding outright astonished now. "What is this stuff?"
"That, my dear trollian fiend, is the sh*t heaven is made of," Dave answered solemnly, causing John to burst out laughing. Unfortunately, it was incredibly awkward, as all Rose seemed able to do was smile fondly, and the other trolls looked on in silence, but John never could contain his bouts of laughter if something humorous happened. "John, you are officially the most derpy."
He opened his mouth to reply with something especially witty (who was he kidding; everything he said was especially witty), but was interrupted by Karkat, who suddenly stomped forward, anger written all over his face. "Shut up Strider and John humans. Gog, you're all so ****ing annoying. Don't you wrigglers have an off switch?"
"Trolls have off switches?" John questioned, puzzled at this new discovery.
"Of course we do, you stupid bag of sh*t for brains!" Karkat hissed, glowering so powerfully John was half afraid he'd get some sort of cancer or radiation poisoning from the intense gaze, "We were the ones who created your race, remember ****ass?"
"Technically, that's still up for debate," Rose interjected, going back to her lunch tray.
"Debate? There's no debate about it. We made you stupidass humans, and we could easily un-make you." he snarled.
"You can't un-make something that's already made, Karbro," Gamzee chimed unhelpfully, causing his best friend to growl, "No miracles would help you out there."
"Shut up. I didn't ask you."
"You shouldn't be so mean to your friends," John said, frowning. This was beginning to feel like something of a game to him, now that he knew the trolls had no seriously ill intent other than irritating the humans. Otherwise, something would have already been done by then, and so he allowed his body to relax, noting that Rose and Dave looked more comfortable now, too. Even so, his hands were still trembling ever-so-slightly, and his stomach was in knots, but he hid it as best he could, keeping a goofy grin on his face and his shaking hands hidden under the table.
However, to say it was unexpected to have his arm suddenly wrenched behind his back hard enough to make him cry out, body slammed forward into the table and causing their trays to shake, would have been a bit of an understatement.
"I'm sorry, did I ask you, sh*t****?" Karkat's voice hissed next to his ear, hot breath tickling its outer shell.
The troll's grip was so tight on his arm John knew he'd have bruises there by tomorrow; Karkat's long nails were also cutting into his soft skin, deep enough that he thought he could feel his blood bubbling over onto unmarred bits of flesh. The feeling of a troll there, right behind him, holding him immobile against the table, continually tugging his arm up his back until he thought it would break was utterly and unspeakably terrifying. Cold sweat was trickling between his shoulder blades, even as he swallowed and opened his mouth to answer, skin breaking out in frightened goose bumps and heart pumping in his ears.
"L-let go of me!" he sputtered, eyes wide, "What are you even—?"
"Shut it!" His arm was yanked upwards again, causing John to gasp in surprise and pain.
"Hey, what the **** do you think you're doing?" Dave demanded expressionlessly, moving to stand only to be shoved back into his seat by Vriska, who smirked at Karkat and John in an amused sort of way. "Don't touch me, dude."
Vriska snorted, flipping her hair over her shoulder, "What are you going to do about it? Attack me?"
Gamzee and Terezi noticeably faltered, the clown-faced troll shifting uncertainly and Terezi's smile fading somewhat as she glanced nervously between her two aggressing troll friends. After all, as fun as it was to pick on the humans, going so far as to hurt one wasn't what they usually did, nor was it legally or otherwise right.
"I must ask you to release both of the young men in your hold immediately." Rose commanded, turning to look at both offending trolls dead in the eye.
"I agree with Rose," John groaned beneath Karkat.
"Shut your word hole, John human," the male troll snapped, giving his arm another cruel tug. "Why would I bother to listen to you, Lalonde?"
"For multiple reasons, such as wanting to become a better person, sparing the guilt you may or may not feel later when by yourself and contemplating past events, and because the teachers on patrol are very close to us at the current moment."
That made Karkat start and turn around, hissing out more colorful cuss words as he released his captive's arm and hurried back over to his friends, mumbling to them, "Come on, let's get out of here."
Vriska followed behind with a mock-pout and a hair flip, turning only once to throw a smirk at the humans over her shoulder as she leisurely made her way back to the trolls' table. John could only watch, feeling his legs and arms quivering, the relief at being free and away from the trolls a physical release of stress and terror he hadn't known he had until they were a good distance away.
"****!" Dave suddenly shouted, startling the poor recovering Egbert and Rose. "Pennywise took the damn cookies!"
Rose's expression noticeably darkened, "That is unacceptable. Savagery of the worst kind. Stay where you are, comrades, I will be back in a short moment with the spoils of war." And with that, she stood and swept away, the rigidness of her shoulders telling the boys that this human girl meant business. John was just glad she hadn't wanted him to go too, not that he wouldn't have! But still, those trolls were terrifying! Rose must have had guts of steel to face them again.
-carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-
CG: HEY DUMBASS
EB: oh hi there! gosh, i didn't expect you to start messaging me again so soon!
CG: YEA, WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED IF IT WASN'T OF THE MOST IMPORTANCE. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING
EB: suuuuuuuure
EB: so what's up? :B
CG: WHAT IS "UP" IS THAT THESE STUPID KIDS KEEP BEING ALL STUPID AND KIDDISH. GOG, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE AT MY SCHOOL
CG: IMAGINE THE HUMAN CONSTRUCT OF HELL
CG: ONLY WITH A BUNCH OF UGLY PINK-FACED CHILDREN AS THE DEMONS
CG: AND OLD TEACHER-PEOPLE AS SATAN
CG: AND THEN YOU HAVE HELL, EB. AND THEN YOU HAVE HELL.
EB: aw, it can't be that bad!
CG: **** YOU. IT IS THE WORST PIECE OF SH*T I HAVE EVER HEARD OF. WHAT DIPSH*T EVEN INVENTED SCHOOL? THEY SHOULD BE CULLED
EB: oh, don't be so dramatic! didn't you say you have like a butt ton of friends? that's a lot! you should feel lucky!
EB: i wish i had a lot of friends, but even though i don't, i really like the friends i have!
CG: OH YEAH. I KEEP FORGETTING THE MENTALLY RETARDED CHILD I TROLL HAS NO FRIENDS AND IS DESTINED TO DIE ALONE.
CG: I SUPPOSE IT'S A GOOD THING I'M HERE THEN, YOU LONELY PIECE OF S***
EB: uh, thanks, i guess?
CG: YOU ARE ****ING WELCOME
CG: YOU ARE MUCH TOO QUIET. IT FEELS WRONG. DID THAT PUNKASS FROM BEFORE DO SOMETHING AGAIN?
EB: er . . .
CG: OH MY GOG. HE DID. WHAT A DICK.
EB: yeah . . . but luckily my friends were here to help!
CG: WOAH. STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU FOOLISH BARKBEAST POSER.
CG: JUST STOP
CG: RIGHT THERE
CG: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT CONTINUING
CG: JUST
CG: STOP
CG: ARE YOU ACTUALLY TRYING TO ****ING TELL ME THAT INSTEAD OF STANDING THE **** UP LIKE I TOLD YOU TO, YOU HID LIKE A COWARDLY FLUFFBEAST BEHIND YOUR FRIENDS?
EB: uh . . . maybe?
CG: NO
EB: . . . . ?
EB: dude are you still there?
EB: hello?
-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-
EB: cg? where did you go?
-carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-
CG: ****. SORRY.
CG: ONE OF MY DUMB**** COMPANIONS TOOK MY PHONE
CG: THE BASTARD
EB: oh. did you yell at them?
CG: WHO? ME? NO.
CG: I AM THE POSTER-CHILD FOR PEACE AND CALM, YOU ACCUSATORY ****.
CG: WHENEVER TWO PEOPLE START A FIGHT, OR NEED AN AUSPITICE, THEY THINK OF ME. BECAUSE I AM THE EPITOME OF CALM AND CONTROL.
EB: wow! i had no idea! sorry for my ignorance :B
CG: I WILL FORGIVE YOU
CG: THIS TIME
CG: ANYWAYS, SO THIS ****ASS THAT KEEPS BULLYING YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A CRYGRUB TO STAND UP TO HIM/HER
CG: TELL ME ABOUT THEM
EB: well, it's a he to start off with
CG: INTERESTING. PLEASE CONTINUE
EB: and he's a troll . . .
CG: A TROLL? HOW PREDICTABLE. SOME OF THESE ASSWIPES HAVE NO CONTROL
EB: he also has nine other friends . . .
CG: AKWFIADKAFNVJ
EB: ?
CG: DID YOU JUST SAY HE HAS NINE FRIENDS? ARE THEY ALL TROLLS TOO?
EB: yea . . . but isn't that kind of obvious?
CG: GIVE ME ONE MOMENT.
CG: SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THIS ... BULLY. HE IS A TROLL WITH NINE TROLL FRIENDS.
CG: TELL ME MORE
EB: wow! your really are pretty calm, huh? you haven't freaked out too badly yet, except for the whole nine friends thing!
EB: well he also goes to my school
CG: OBVIOUSLY
EB: and . . . um . . . he has really small horns
CG: ARE YOU SURE HIS HORNS ARE SMALL?
CG: THEY AREN'T JUST LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, MOSTLY HIDDEN IN HIS HAIR? MAYBE HIS HAIR IS JUST EXRETEMELY UNRULY AND VOLMNUOUS
EB: maybe, but they look pretty small and nubby
EB: and i don't know what else to say other than he's really angry all the time and curses like a sailor
CG: A WHAT?
EB: a sailor
CG: I READ THE WORD, ****ASS
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVERMIND. FORGET I EVEN ASKED
CG: WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS TROLL BULLY?
EB: uh, i don't know if it's a good idea to hand his name over the internet like this
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU THINK I'M GOING TO HUNT HIM DOWN AND CULL HIM OR SOMETHING?
CG: I THOUGHT WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT I AM THE SYMBOL OF CALM AND CONTROL, MORON
EB: i know that! but what if one of your friends read my messages, or what if someone else hacks into our conversation? then other people could track me down!
CG: DON'T BE AN IDIOT. WHO'D CARE ABOUT US ENOUGH TO DO THAT?
EB: i don't know, friends?
CG: OKAY, THAT'S A VALID POINT
CG: BUT I CAN PROMISE YOU TO DELETE THIS CONVERSATION ONCE WE'RE DONE
CG: SO GIVE ME HIS NAME. NOW.
CG: . . . PLEASE
EB: well since you said please :B
EB: um, gosh this is weird!
EB: like, i never expected to be giving you personal information, even if it's not about me!
CG: JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY, YOU THINKPANLESS NOOKSTAIN
EB: his name in school is karkat
CG: KARKAT WHAT?
EB: uh . . .
CG: PLEASE? I JUST WANT HIS NAME
CG: PLEASE
CG: I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO'S MESSING WITH MY FRI
CG: ENEMY. FRENEMY.
EB: *giggles* i don't think that's what you were about to type! but that's okay, i consider us to be friends!
EB: his name is karkat vantes . . . ventez . . . vantaz? he's a year older than me, though
CG: SHIT
CG: I HAVE TO GO
CG: WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS MORE LATER, SPINELESS BARKBEAST IMPOSTER
-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-
EB: ok, bye!
Karkat Vantas could only stare, horrified, at his phone screen. "Sh*t."