Lucy tried desperately to gasp in air, feeling as if a giant fist was clutched around her middle.
In love? With Natsu? MY Natsu? What? Her thoughts swirled around in a violent tempest as she reeled at the new knowledge she had just gained. When the hell did this happen? Lucy felt like she was in a haze. All she could do was stare at the face in front of her, framed by a light from one of the book store's wall sconces.
Natsu noticed the odd look on her face, and his brow flickered as he asked, "Hey, Luce, are you ok? Do you not like the book or something?"
Lucy finally managed to pull herself out of her daze. "Uh, no! I...I l-love it, Natsu! Thank you so much!"
Natsu's grin was back now. "Good! I like making you happy."
Before Lucy had time to do anything other than gape at him, she heard a small voice coming from behind Natsu. "Hey, there you two are! I've been looking all over for you! Natsu, we're going to that restaurant again, right?"
Natsu turned around to face Happy, who had just flown into the shop. "Yo! Sure, buddy, we can go there as soon as Lucy's done looking in here." At this, Happy groaned, "But I don't wanna wait in this boring store!"
Lucy, glad to not be alone with Natsu just then, rushed to say, "Oh, it's ok, Happy, I was done looking anyway. I'm just going to pay for a few books and then we can go." As she made a movement to get up, Lucy saw a hand extend into her field of vision, and looked up to see Natsu at the other end of it, offering his help. Lucy blushed, looked away, and hurriedly scrambled to her feet without taking the proffered hand. She scurried to the desk with her purchases, too quickly to see Natsu's disappointed look at her rejection.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and, thankfully, Happy stayed with them. Lucy didn't think she could handle being alone with Natsu any more that /Lying awake in her bed that night, she finally had the chance to thoroughly examine her reactions to her best friend and what they might mean. I can't really be in LOVE with him, thought Lucy. I mean, he's crude, aggressive, and clueless about almost everything! A small part of her whispered that maybe she was upset that he was clueless about love, but she quickly brushed aside that voice. It's just not possible, she reiterated instead. Just because I've been feeling flustered around him lately doesn't mean that I love him! And wanting to touch him is just...because I'm missing my parents more lately. It has absolutely nothing to do with any feelings I may have for a certain crazy dragon slayer!
But the farther her thoughts traveled down that road, the more she realized that it was a complete lie that she was telling to herself. She let out a frustrated huff of air, and mentally yielded to the epiphany she had received earlier in the day. I love him, she thought, with both surprise and resignation. I really do love /The more she thought about it, the more Lucy realized that she must have loved Natsu for a long time without really knowing it. Ever since she had first met him, she had always been unconsciously drawn to him. Sure, he was a rash idiot, but that was only half of him. Nobody cared more about his friends and his guildmates (although he didn't see any difference between the two), and he'd do anything to help them out. He had always taken care of Lucy, physically and emotionally, since the day they'd met. Lucy couldn't remember a time when she hadn't felt watched over by Natsu, and how safe that made her feel. Hell, she'd even leapt off a building because she knew that he'd be there to catch her! That kind of trust didn't happen with just anybody.
Lucy kept turning this new knowledge over and over in her mind. I love Natsu. I love him. I love him. I love him...until, exhausted from her swirling emotions, she finally drifted off to sleep.
The next morning she awoke, feeling like she hadn't slept at all. As soon as she was awake, her mind started working again right where it had left off the night before. Shit! I really love Natsu Dragneel! What the hell am I going to do about this? She stared up at her ceiling as she tried to puzzle out her next move. Should I tell him? Maybe he feels the same way? Lucy quickly dismissed this thought, however. No, there's no way. He's seen me naked more than once, and never had any reaction like the guys in books. In fact, he never does any of the things those guys do. He never compliments me, or stares at me, or opens doors for me, or anything. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she grudgingly admitted to herself, No, Natsu has never shown any sign of having feelings for me other than friendship. She couldn't contain a small, glum sigh at this thought, but she quickly tried to brush it off and attend to more pressing matters.
What am I going to do?, she wondered almost frantically. He's going to know! As soon as he sees me, he's going to know how I feel! Then he'll either feel sorry for me, or avoid me, or make fun of me. What if he's so uncomfortable he doesn't want to see me anymore? Or go on missions? What if he...she took a deep, steadying breath. Slow down there, Lucy, she coached herself. He doesn't have to know anything. He's clueless, remember? He'll probably never notice. And plus, this is probably just a phase. If I ignore it, I'm sure I won't feel the same after a while. Lucy once again ignored that niggling voice that said that her feelings wouldn't go away so easily, and that maybe she didn't want them to. All I have to do is go to the guild as usual, and act like everything's ok. Nothing has to change, as long as I act like nothing has happened.
After half an hour of similar pep talk, she finally convinced herself to get out of bed, get dressed, and walk to the guild hall. She stopped outside the entrance, took a final moment to steel herself, and opened the doors.
As soon as she walked in, Happy noticed her and flew over, with a greeting cry of, "Lucy!"
Lucy smiled what she hoped was a relaxed smile and replied, "Hey, Happy! Any jobs for us today?"
Apparently noticing nothing wrong with her demeanor, Happy answered, "Yeah, Natsu found a good one for us! I think you'll like it, it involves books!"
The mention of books piqued Lucy's interest enough to help her feel normal until she saw Natsu's pink head weaving through the guild hall in their direction. Her heart immediately skipped into a quick pace that she was sure the keen-eared dragon slayer would notice. Thankfully, if he did, he made no mention of it, instead greeting her with a cheerful, "Hey, Luce!"
Lucy mustered up a smile for her best friend, and answered, "Hi, Natsu. Happy says you have a job?"
Natsu smiled and said, "Yeah, it's finding a rare book for someone! You in?"
His smile, if anything, quickened her pulse even more, as she replied, "Sure! I need to pay my rent somehow."
Natsu beamed and grabbed her hand. "Great, let's go!"
Lucy was positive that her heart could now outrun Jet in a foot race.
How the hell was she going to survive this mission?