This was my father's day submission for VA10th-anniversary project. Thought I share it with the rest of you ;)

Abe's POV

This would be our first official father's day. I had asked Rose if she was comfortable with spending some time with me on father's day and her smile had been genuine and large. I had asked to plan the whole thing. I might have made a mistake on that one.

I had asked for advice from Dimitri, albeit very reluctantly. I didn't have problems with Dimitri, but Abe Mazur didn't ask for help. But I wanted this to be perfect. Now normally the child would have to pamper the parent, but I took it upon myself to make a nice day of it, maybe because I was a bit of a control freak and maybe because I felt guilty for missing all the father's day before this.

I had asked what kind of food Rose would want for dinner and he had chuckled and told me 'Pizza'. I had mentioned I wouldn't mind taking her to a fancy restaurant and told him money wasn't an issue. He had laughed and told me, she would be happiest with pizza. But he did tell me there was an Italian place in a human town not far from here that she loved the best. So I made arrangements to dine there.

I also asked if he had any ideas about activities. His delightful answer was, that she didn't have many hobbies but she was always in for something active. I nearly slapped myself in the head. Of course, she would be, not only is she a Guardian that trains several hours a day, but she was her mother's daughter. Which is actually how I got to the activity of the day.

Back in the day, I had introduced Janine to Turkish dancing. Not the belly dancing type. Although I might have purchased a costume or two for Janine in that respect. I wanted to take Rose to the more traditional line dancing. It would be nice to share some of my culture with her and I was surprisingly good at dancing and had been instructed in the dance forms of my region from an early age. I was particularly gifted in Zeybek and would love to show my daughter how to do it.

I had run it by Dimitri and he gave me an indulgent smile telling me it was fine.

I was starting to hate this holiday. It was turning me into a nervous wreck, checking and rechecking everything so I would make sure Rose would remember this day.

We had spent one father's day before this one, but she wouldn't have remembered that one. She was only a few months old. I wanted her to remember this one.

I opened my wallet and pulled out a photo of a baby girl I kept hidden behind cards and cash. The photo was taken a few weeks after our first father's day together and it would be the last photo I had of where I had been present for the capture of her image.

I was thinking back to that first father's day and how we had ended up here.

When Janine told me she was pregnant I was over the moon and of course completely petrified, but excited as well. Rose wasn't necessarily planned, but both Janine and I discussed that time was right for us to have Rose. Now my business meant I wasn't always around, something I regret to this day. We had lived in ignorant bliss back then. I had thought I had plenty of time to be around Rose and that a week or what on a business trip wouldn't hurt. After all, she was a baby, she wouldn't remember it.

Janine herself was also back to work after she had recovered from the birth. Because neither of us was available full time, Rose was living at Janine's cousins. Janine was only taking on short contracts to support herself and Rose and to stay in shape and keep getting new experiences in the field. I had told Janine I would be more than happy to support both of them, at least until Rose was old enough to spend the majority of her time at the academy, but Janine wouldn't hear of it. Not only was she a proud woman who refused to take handouts, even if I was taking care of my own progeny, but she also insisted on keeping with the trade. Taking too much time off would mean it would be harder to get back into the Guardian business.

I understood her motifs. Janine was a born guardian and even back then she was very skilled and promising. The low guardian numbers would mean she would always have a job as a guardian if she wanted to, even if she had taken a hiatus for few years to raise Rose. But it was different for a woman, especially a mother. If she wanted something more than a menial job then she would have to work extra hard compared to her unattached male colleagues.

I also felt Janine pull away from me and she started to pull away from Rose, now that she was back to work. And it got worse with every funeral of a colleague she went too. She understood she dedicated her life to a profession where chances were real you wouldn't come back. I know she was willing to lay her life down for her duty, but I could also see that now that she had Rose she was more hesitant to leave. Attachments for Janine were, therefore, a tricky thing. I knew she loved Rose, but she also didn't want Rose to crumble under the grief of her mother dying in battle. And perhaps in hindsight, she knew that Rose would follow in her footsteps and was protecting herself from wailing on her daughter's grave.

But when Rose fell sick while Janine was meant to leave for a job, I saw her hesitate. She didn't mind leaving the vibrant and happy child with her cousins for a short while. They all assured Janine she was a joy to have around. But she found it hard to leave her when she was sick. A child needed their parents when they were sick, and she was still so small. Seeing the indecision on her face I told her I would take her for a while. I had been wanting to spend some one on one time with her anyway and I too was overcome with paternal affection for the sickly baby, running a fever and who just wanted to be held.

Janine reluctantly agreed and I took Rose with me to a private house I had rented up the street.

She was running a high fever but the doctor, who I had called, demanding to come over before my child died a horrible death, assured me she was fine and that babies tended to have higher fevers than adults. They also spiked more rapidly but also came down much faster. He told me she simply had the flu. I needed to make sure she drank enough and if she didn't want to eat anything it was fine as long as she was drinking.

Rose had just been getting her first few solids of vegetables and fruit when she got sick.

I didn't really know what to do with a sick baby. I always knew what to do. I was always ahead of everybody. Always thinking of contingencies, mapping out strategies. I could call a checkmate in 20 moves. But I had no idea what to do with my sick daughter.

In the end, I settled for simply holding her and she seemed to be content with it. I had read somewhere kids get better sooner if you kangaroo. So I tried that. I felt a little silly holding baby Rose with nothing but a diaper on my own naked chest, but her relaxed demeanor told me she found it soothing. Something about being able to hear my heartbeat and feel the heat of my skin was supposed to help, but I am not sure if my tickly curls on my chest were very conducive to her healing. She fell asleep shortly after. I didn't want to move from my position so I just grabbed a nearby blanket and lightly draped it over the two of us as I kept rubbing her back and brushing her brown locks from her eyes.

It didn't take long for the fever to break. The next day she drank her milk and even started eating stuff too. Fruit, not vegetables of course. I slept with her during the day, laying her down beside me on the bed and just watched her breath and sleep.

I had always had a certain restlessness about me. This drive to push further, to want more, to be the best, but as I looked at the sleeping infant beside me, her small hand wrapped around my finger, because she needed reassurance of physical contact even when she slept, I felt at peace for the first time in my life.

I turned the tv on mute and saw it was father's day. I hadn't even realized it, but I thought it fitting. I really did feel like I became a father today. Sure I was technically a parent, but the most interaction I had had with her was rattling a few baby toys in front of her eyes and making funny faces at her. But taking care of her like this, being the one she needed when she sought comfort made me a father.

I had made a decision then. I wanted to be there for her. I was wealthy enough, I didn't need any more. My business wasn't the most important thing in my life anymore, she was. I understood why Janine kept working, but I was free to quit at any time. I would raise Rose and any other children Janine would give me.

Of course, it hadn't turned out like that. A few weeks later a message arrived from a business competitor and congratulated me on my beautiful family and that it was a shame if something happened to my gorgeous girl when I would be so busy with my business.

Safe to say, the man hadn't lasted very long and I made sure he never issued another threat again to anyone, but it had sobered me up. I never had any problems with my business endeavors. I had morals and ethics, but they did differ from most people I suppose. But for the first time in my life, I regretted the business I was in. But it was too late now.

I retreated from Rose's life for her protection. Not many knew of my relation to Rose and those that did were either persuaded to keep quiet or were silenced in another manner. I kept track of her over the years, got hold of some Academy pictures and assisted behind the scene with their retrieval after she and the Dragomir princess had run away for two years. But the first time I had really seen her in the flesh was when she went to Russia to chase Dimitri.

The first time I laid eyes on her I had been speechless, of course only for a moment, Abe Mazur didn't do shocked or sentimental. She was beautiful. I saw so much of Janine in her. The way she walked with grace, how she had a stern expression on her face. But I also saw a lot of me in her. Not just her coloring, but her drive reminded me of myself. She had a determination that I could only admire even though I tried very hard to convince her to deter from her path. I wasn't surprised to learn I hadn't succeeded.

The few days I spent around her had made me miss her terribly again. But this time around it was different. Not only was I now in a position that nobody would even utter a threat against me, but now Rose was also old enough and capable enough to take care of herself. My own reputation kept her safe, but her reputation made it even less likely she would be targeted. Who would be crazy enough to go up against the Rose Hathaway?

So gradually I was able to move back into her life and was glad to know she didn't blame me for my absence, something I notice she did do with Janine.

So now, even if it was about two decades to late, I tried to start a relationship with my daughter and was elated to be spending this father's day and hopefully many more in the presence of my daughter.

Randall's POV

I watched him say goodbye to his girlfriend as she and her father set out for, what was no doubt, a father's day outing. I had almost laughed when I realized my son was dating Abe Mazur's daughter. But as I saw him kiss her and stare at her lovingly I couldn't feel anything but envy.

Who is envious of their own son?

I sat down in on the couch and poured myself a drink. I let the burn of the alcohol distract me from my own thoughts and hoped like I always did, that this time the effects of the alcohol would be permanent and would rid me of my demons.

But as the burn faded I knew it had yet again failed in its task.

I suppose I was also a little glad he seemed to take after his father at least in one regard. He too had fallen for a girl he shouldn't have. She was a Dhampir and I heard she had been his student once. But despite the world disapproving of their union, they didn't care and were obviously happy. Hence, my envy.

I had seen them together on more than occasion now. I rarely visited court, but I had had my own apartment when I did. Nobody really knew I was here, except Nathan, and nobody really seemed to care. To them, I was nothing more than a drunk. Drunk Rand Ivashkov. That was the name I made for myself.

Strange how life turns out in the end. I tried so hard to protect my name from blemish and to be the Royal Ivashkov I was born to be, but life had dealt me a different card. A different card in the form of Olena.

The day I met her I knew she was special. Her brown warm eyes warmed my soul and her elegant way of moving had me mesmerized. Until I came to the realization she was a Dhampir and that a long term relationship would not be accepted by my peers. But I wasn't able to stay away from her. And when we were together it was good, I almost forgot I was supposed to do something else.

It wasn't long before she was pregnant and she couldn't be happier. I too shared in her joy but there was this ever-present voice in my head saying having bastard Dhampirs was unbecoming of a royal prince. I started to make excuses for my family and friends whenever I would visit Russia. I would even go as far as using a disguise until I reached our house, so no one would be able to recognize me. But when I held my baby girl for the first time, my Karolina, the apple of my eye, all my fears washed away and I was able to enjoy our time together.

Until that father's day a few years later. I had never really reconciled myself with having a Dhampir family. It was why I never married Olena. I was afraid of the name I would get being married to a Dhampir. I was happy with them, but I was ashamed I found happiness there.

And for that I resented Olena. I blamed her for keeping me bound to her. I couldn't pull away from her, even if I tried because she was so special to me. She shouldn't have been so special to me. I was supposed to fall in love, or at least be fond of a royal Moroi, but Olena ruined that. She ruined my heart.

Olena was now pregnant with our third child and Karolina and a toddler Dimitri were sitting around my legs handing me my father's day presents. Karolina had made a nice macaroni neckless at school and had added a charm to it saying it was for the best daddy in the world. Dimitri's present consisted of a finger painting, with what I could only imagine were trees and flowers.

I took them a little hesitantly. I hadn't been here in months and I saw Dimitri in particular barely had an understanding of who I was and only handed me the picture because Olena told him too. But as the day progressed he seemed to relax a little in my presence and I did the same.

Until I got a message from Nathan. He had called me, telling me what a wonderful father's day he had and that his son, a three-month-old Adrian, had gifted him a beautiful gold bracelet to commemorate his first father's day. He said it was engraved and had a few emeralds in the back. I had gritted my teeth. That was supposed to be my life. I was supposed to be married to some royal Moroi having Moroi children and live a life of wealth and stature. But instead, I was here, living a shadow life.

It was the first day I was ever drunk enough to hurt Olena. The fact she was pregnant with our child stopped me from hurting her stomach but wasn't enough to stop my rage from letting lose on her face or arms as I practically dragged her around the house, screaming it was all her fault for trapping me.

That had been a turning point in my life. I was never able to enjoy my family as I came over. That voice in my head, telling me this wasn't supposed to be my life and what people would think of me when they found out, only became louder. Every time I went to Baia, it seemed to end in violence.

In a way, I had been grateful for Dimitri for pulling me out of that cycle. I don't think I would have ever stopped on my own. I was too in love with Olena but resented her too much to just enjoy the moments we had together.

I went further and further into the bottle, hoping it would erase her from my memory, but every morning I would remember her. I would remember the look of love and fear in her eyes. I would remember the hate in my son's eyes.

I had been so adamant people not to see me as a royal who lived beneath his stature, I had inadvertently made a name as for myself as a useless drunk.

The door to my son's home had been closed and his girl long gone on a trip with her father. Abe hadn't been part of her life for 18 years, I wondered if I had any chance of reconciling with any of my children.

I laughed. The only hope I had was Victoria and that was because she was too young to remember the monster I was. The monster I am.

The kind of monster that envied his son because he had been able to do what I could not. Accept the love of the woman he loved and not give a shit about what the rest of the world thought. He made a name for himself as an honorable Guardian that loved someone deeply. I was envious because he had been strong enough to stand up to the world and to himself and claim what he wanted.

But in my eyes, he was just rubbing in my face that I was weak and he could do what I was unable to do. It was clear where he got his strength from and it wasn't from me. Was is so much to ask of Olena that at least my son would resemble me?

But I believe him looking like Olena was a good thing. Who would want to look like me? I was too weak to claim the woman I loved… love. Because I did still love her. Perhaps if I didn't this would be easier. Perhaps I could have convinced myself it was the wild years of a young man that had fallen for the first girl that crossed his path. Maybe then I would have found some piece, knowing it was never meant to be anyway. But I still love her. And that will haunt me forever.

I picked up the bottle once again as I stared at the door that had been closed several minutes ago. I took a few gulps, hoping against hope that this time, the alcohol would send me into blissful ignorance and erase the choices I had made.