A Test of Love
By Enelya
# 2 in the Sacred Ground Series
The door of the apartment opened and two figures, with arms full of groceries, entered. Jim used his foot to shut the door and used his pinkie to toss the keys into the small basket by the door.
"Let's get these put away Chief, and then we can talk." Jim said setting his bags down on the table. He looked up, when he heard Blair's heart rate increase and was concerned when he saw the panicked look on Blair's face. "Chief? What's wrong? Oh!" Jim asked, then immediately realized what was wrong. " We're gonna talk kiddo, about rules. That's all. You're not in trouble for anything."
Blair let out a sigh of relief and headed over to the table with his bags. He looked at Jim sheepishly and said, " I'm sorry. I can't help it." He ducked his head as a pink blush crept across his cheeks.
"Don't apologize Chief. It's not your fault. Let's get the cold stuff put away and then we can talk. Alright?" Jim asked, putting his hand on Blair's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.
Blair nodded.
Blair curled up in the corner of the couch, wincing a little at the pain still in his backside, and Jim sat on the coffee table in front of him. "Okay Chief, I'm gonna lay down a few simple rules, we'll add more later if need be, but these should be enough for now. First, no drugs or alcohol." Jim said.
"I can live with that. I don't like that stuff anyways. If you don't like alcohol though, why'd you buy some?" Blair asked.
"I didn't say I didn't like it Junior, I said I don't want you drinking. You're too young, but that's good you don't like it. Okay rule two, no lying. I want to be able to trust you Chief and if you lie to me, you'll not only lose my trust, but it'll land you in worse trouble." Jim continued, wondering what kind of reaction he'd get this time.
Blair was quiet for a few minutes, and then asked, " Is that why you believed me last night, because you trusted me?"
Jim leaned forward and sighed when Blair flinched slightly. He cupped the side of Blair's face with one hand and said, " That's exactly why Chief. You also have to trust me, too. I know it's hard to believe Chief, but I'm not going to hit you every time I come near you. That's why we're talking about the rules, so you know exactly what will get you in trouble."
"Jim, I know in here," Blair said, then paused to pat his chest and continued, "that you won't hurt me, but it's gonna take a while before I realize it up here." Blair finished and tapped his right temple. He let his hand linger on Jim's hand that was cupping his face for just a moment then let it drop back down to his side. He moved his head away from Jim's gentle grip, and then grinned and said, " So, that's it? Two rules?"
Jim chuckled at the casual remark thrown in and said, " Yeah right Chief. I've got a few more. We'll work on the other thing though. Rule three: curfew. Now I know you're going to college, but you're also only sixteen. I want you in by ten-thirty during the week and by eleven on the weekends."
"Uhm that's not gonna work for me Jim. The library at the University stays open till one and I have dates that last longer than that. " Blair said grinning devilishly.
"Ten-thirty during the week and eleven on the weekends. If you need to go to the library, go on the weekends. You can spend all day there if you want. As for your dates Romeo, you're gonna have to go out earlier or cut your dates short." Jim said firmly.
Blair slumped against the couch with his arms crossed over his chest. He gave Jim one last pleading look, but when he saw it wasn't going to work, he sighed and nodded.
Jim was amused at the pout he was given. He patted Blair on the knee and said, "I might extend it for special occasions and circumstances. Rule four, when you're not in school or with me, I want to know where you are. If you're gonna leave the loft to go do something, I want you to write me a note, then call the station and leave a message with Rhonda, and finally call my cell phone and leave a message, if I don't answer. I want you to tell me where you're going, who you're going with, and what time you're gonna be back. If you have to repeat the information three times, I figure you'll remember to be back when you're supposed to and I'll get the message at least once."
"Hey, now come on Jim. You're not being fair. I'm sixteen and I think I can remember to write a note without having to make two phone calls. I also know when to come home." Blair said indignantly.
"I'm not saying you're a baby, Chief. What if, when you leave the loft, something happens to the note? A breeze of air could knock it off the table or counter and I wouldn't have a clue to where you were. Or, what if you're not able to write a message? Say an emergency happens, you can still make two calls when you get to where you're going so I get the message." Jim said trying to reason with Blair.
"Jim come on, don't you think you're still being a bit excessive. How about a note and one phone call? Or maybe just a phone call." Blair said trying some reasoning of his own. He hoped Jim would see it his way. His hopes were dashed, when he saw the determined look on Jim's face.
"Blair, look… no wait. Alright Chief, I'll give you a chance. If you're going to go out, you can leave just a note, or a phone call, but if I receive neither one, your butt is in big trouble and we go to the note and two phone calls before you leave. Understand Junior?" Jim asked.
A grateful look was given to Jim as Blair nodded and said, " Thanks Jim. I understand. If I screw up, we go with the long way." Blair grinned as Jim gave him a look, and then tapped the side of his head lightly.
"You also end up with a sore butt, Chief. Don't forget that." Jim told him, tapping the teen on the other side of his head. Blair ducked his head at the reminder and his cheeks blushed pink.
"I was kinda hoping you'd forget that part." Blair admitted as he looked up and smiled sheepishly. Jim couldn't help but smile at the admission. He leaned forward and drew Blair to him and hugged the teen.
"I bet you were Junior, come on kiddo we've got groceries to put away. Oh and one more thing, that room over there, will be yours. The only thing I ask is that your mess stays in there and doesn't extend to the rest of the loft. Alright Chief?" Jim asked, standing up, then helping Blair up and pointing towards the room.
When Blair saw the room, his eyes lit up. He looked at Jim and said, " Yeah that's no problem. You can't be messy when you don't have that much stuff to begin with." Blair winked, showing Jim he was teasing.
Jim smirked at the teen and said, " That'll change soon Chief. I've been cleaning that room out now for the past week. I should've had it done three days ago, but I keep getting distracted."
Blair grinned and said, "You keep putting it off, too. Right?"
"Yeah Chief, but now I've got help." Jim said and then ducked the playful swipe at his head. He grinned and swatted Blair's backside playfully.
"Ow, hey. I'm still sore there you know." Blair said, sticking his bottom lip out, and pretending to pout.
"Better stick that lip in Junior, before a bird flies in and sits on it." Jim said, and then grinned and tapped Blair on the lip.
Blair sucked his lip in, and then stuck his tongue out instead.
"No you're not. That happened the other day and I didn't spank you all that hard. How's your back doing? " Jim continued as he shook his head at Blair's antics and went over to the kitchen.
"Doesn't hurt anymore." Blair said his eyes speaking the gratitude that he couldn't seem to voice at the moment.
Jim nodded at the teen, with a smile and motioned him over to help.
Two hours later, Blair lay sprawled on the couch with his head in Jim's lap. He was exhausted from helping Jim move the rest of the boxes downstairs into the storage area. They were taking a break before going back in and putting together the full sized bed frame they had found towards the back of the room.
"You going to sleep there, Chief?" Jim asked, hearing Blair's breathing and heart rate slowing. He pushed a few of the damp curls away from Blair's face, and smiled when he saw Blair's eyes flutter a bit. Knowing he wasn't going to get an answer, or help putting the bed together, Jim slowly eased his legs from under Blair's head, took one of the throw pillows and laid Blair's head on it.
Jim sat at the kitchen table watching the sleeping form on the couch slowly begin to awaken. He took another drink of his beer, and then jumped up when Blair quickly bolted off the couch.
"Whoa Chief, what's wrong?" Jim asked, snagging the teen by his arms and staring into Blair's eyes.
Blair stared at Jim wide eyed for a few minutes, then blinked and relaxed.
"Jim? Oh man what happened? " He asked, trying to move his arms. When he realized that Jim was holding onto him, panic raced across Blair's face. He swallowed hard and asked, " Did…did I…do something wrong?" He looked down at the floor and sucked part of his bottom lip in. He chewed on it lightly and darted a remorseful look up at Jim.
Jim immediately released his hold on Blair's arms, and then pulled the boy into a tight hug. "No Chief, you didn't do anything. I think you were dreaming kiddo. " Jim said calmly running his hand over Blair's back.
Blair calmed at the reassurance and gently pushed away from Jim. He tucked a few stray strands of hair behind his ears, and then looked up embarrassed and asked, " You want me to help put the bed together?"
"Already done Junior, but you can have the fun job of cleaning the room." Jim said as he patted the teen's shoulder and grinned. He turned, walked back to the kitchen table, and finished off his beer.
"What do you mean clean the room? There's nothing in there but the bed." Blair said giving Jim a confused look.
Jim shook his head and walked over to the kitchen closet. He pulled out a broom and a dustpan, then walked over to Blair and handed the items to him. "This is what I meant Einstein, when I said clean. It's dusty in there and there are probably a few cobwebs, so if you don't want some eight-legged friends Chief, I suggest you get rid of those, too. When you're done sweeping, you can mop the room if you want." He told him.
He watched Blair and waited to see how the teen would react. Blair held the two objects for a few minutes and cocked his head a bit. It was as if he were deciding what to do and what would happen should he act certain ways.
Blair stared at the floor and chewed his bottom lip as he continued to decide what to do. He looked up at Jim once, to see what he was doing and saw that he was only watching at the moment. A thought made Blair shudder and he flicked his eyes up at Jim again a little fearfully this time. It was almost as if he expected Jim to read his mind.
He saw the fear in the dark blue eyes that looked up at him for just a moment and wondered what the boy was thinking. A soft sigh graced his ears and he watched as Blair turned and went into his room and began to sweep.
"Chief? Is everything okay?" Jim asked concerned.
"Yeah I'm fine." came the short answer. Jim could hear the short ragged breaths being taken as he watched the jerky movements of the broom being brushed over the floor. He could see the nervous, fearful glances being directed towards him. Jim went over, sat on the bare bed and said gently, "Chief, stop doing that and come here."
The moving figure froze and stood rigid. Small, shallow breaths filled the silence. Jim heard the whispered answer, but wasn't quite sure he heard correctly. "You want to repeat that a little louder Chief. I don't think I heard you right." Jim said, keeping his voice gentle.
Blair gulped audibly and turned to face Jim. He swallowed again, licked his lips and said in a shaky voice, " I…I said…n-n-no…Jim."
" That's what I thought you said, Chief. No what though? No you don't want to come over here or no you don't want to stop sweeping?" Jim asked calmly. He was trying to figure out where this act of defiance was coming from.
Blair licked his lips again and looked at Jim with confusion and fear. " Why aren't you mad at me?" He asked.
Jim raised an eyebrow at the question and asked, " Blair, why would I be angry with you?" He wondered what kind of answer he'd get.
"You told me to do something and I said "no". " Blair stated plainly, still confused. This was something new. This was not how he expected Jim to react. He had thought he would start yelling or jump up and smack him, but he didn't expect him to ask anything.
Jim nodded and said, " I know that Chief. Come here, please." He beaconed Blair over again with a wave of his hand. The plain statement had spoken volumes to Jim and he wanted to explain a few things to his young charge.
Panic filled Blair's eyes when Jim called him over again. He backed up, shaking his head. Blair darted his eyes towards the door and wondered if he'd be able to get there before Jim. His body was shaking as he sidestepped a bit to get closer to the open door.
Jim could hear Blair's rapid heart beat and mentally cursed himself again for scaring the kid. He could see him looking at the door and slowly moving towards it. "Blair, don't run. I'm not angry kiddo. You don't have to come over here if you don't want to. I can talk to you right where you're at if you want." Jim said calmly, hoping to calm the panicking teen.
Dark blue eyes darted between Jim and the open bedroom door. He looked at Jim again, wanting to believe him, but fear won out at the moment and Blair bolted from the room. He ran straight for the front door, unlocked it and took off down the hall.
The minute Blair ran from the room, Jim was right behind him. He raced after Blair down the hall and grabbed the teen, from behind, before he reached the stairs. Blair struggled against Jim trying to get away.
"Lemme go! Lemme go! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please…please." Blair cried, his voice breaking a bit. He was shaking more than fighting at this point.
"Shh…come on Chief, let's get you back inside." Jim said gently. He steered Blair back to the loft and released him once they were back inside. He watched as Blair sank down on the couch and curled protectively in one of the corners of it.
The phone rang at that moment, interrupting Jim's thoughts.
"Ellison. Oh hi Simon. Well we've hit a few rough spots this morning, but we're trying to work through them. Now? No I understand. It'll be fine. I'll see you in a few."
Blair glanced up during the conversation trying to decide what was being said.
Jim looked over at Blair and saw him look away and duck his head. Jim hung up the phone and walked over to where Blair sat on the couch. "Chief, I've got to go in to the station for a bit. When I come back, we'll talk, okay?" Jim asked reaching out to stroke Blair's head.
Blair flinched away from the touch. He looked up and saw the hurt look on Jim's face. He nodded at the question he'd been asked, then put his head back down on his knees.
Jim placed a hand on top of Blair's head, stroked his hair for a moment, and then turned and left.
Silence filled the loft for the next ten minutes. When Blair looked up, he had made a decision. He got up, stretched a little and went over to the phone. Blair looked around again to make sure he was really alone. He dialed a number and bounced in place.
"Come on, man. Please be there Bear, please." Blair pleaded with the phone.
" 'lo?" came the sleepy response from the phone.
"Bear? That you?" Blair asked excitedly.
"Doc? Hey buddy long time no hear. What's up?" came the response more awake now and cheerful.
"I need a place to stay for a while. Can I crash with you?" Blair asked biting his bottom lip again.
"Well, you know about my new situation, right?" Bear asked as he wondered what was going on with his friend.
"Yeah I know. Do you think he would mind?"
"I don't think he will. You need me to pick you up?"
"Yeah. Thanks Bear. I'll be ready when you get here. I'll be waiting outside." Blair said getting ready to hang up.
"Whoa Doc, hang on. I'll gladly come and get you, but you have to tell me where here is." Bear said, laughing a little at his friend.
Blair blushed even though no one could see him and said," Oh yeah. Sorry about that. It's 852 Prospect."
"I'll be there in a few Doc." Bear said, and then hung up.
Blair grabbed his pack, looked around the loft for the last time, and then left.
"You're sure Ben won't mind that I'm here?" Blair asked for the fourth time since they had arrived back at Bear's. He was looking around at the large house his friend lived in.
"Doc if you ask me that one more time, I'm going to take you back to your place. You wanna tell me what's going on now Doc? I thought you were living in the warehouse still. What happened?" Bear asked his friend.
Bear sat in an ornate straight back chair. His jet-black hair hung straight down, a little past his shoulders and parted in the middle. His dark brown eyes gazed intently on his friend as he waited to hear what had been happening. When he folded his hands and put them in his lap, he saw Blair grin at his actions.
Blair sighed and told his friend everything that had happened; from the day he left his pack up to right before he called Bear. His face flushed red as he told Bear of his punishment.
Bear chuckled softly when Blair turned red as he described what had happened earlier that morning to him. " I'll let you in on a little secret Doc. You're not the only one it happens to. Ben feels it is necessary to paddle me when I step over certain lines as well." Bear admitted with a small grin.
"Really? I thought you told me that he decided that you were too old. What made him change his mind?" Blair asked sitting up and staring at his friend.
"Well I went to a party one night, stayed out incredibly late, drank two beers, and then tried to drive home. Luckily or unluckily, however you want to see it, Ben found me while I was still trying to get the key in the ignition. Let's just say that that night and the next morning were most unpleasant." Bear said, wincing a little as he remembered what had happened after he got home.
"He paddled you good, huh?" Blair asked wincing at the thought.
" Not exactly, but we'll talk about that later, I wanna know what the problem is with Jim. From what you've told me, he sounds like a great guy." Bear said moving his hands to the arms of his chair.
" I don't know if I can trust him. I know that sounds stupid, but from what I went through with the Sharp's, it's hard to trust any adult." Blair explained.
" It's not stupid Doc. The Sharp's were terrible to you. I know it was only two weeks, but that stuff can really hurt you inside. I told you how Mom treated me. When Ben came along, I didn't think he could be as good as my Dad. I was wrong; Ben got me away from her because he didn't like how she treated me either. The physical stuff is just as bad, because you know they don't care." Bear said, leaving his chair and sitting next to Blair on the couch.
A loud ringing broke the silence of the loft. The caller on the other end was deeply concerned at this point. Jim hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh. He looked up and saw Simon standing at his desk.
"Trouble Jim?" Simon asked when he noticed the agitated state of his detective. He'd been watching Jim from his office for the past half hour and saw how agitated Jim became each time he hung up the phone.
"I don't know Simon. Blair hasn't answered the phone the past three times I've called. We hit a rough spot this morning and I wish I could've talk to him about it before I left. Now I don't know if he's refusing to answer because he's sulking, or because he's not there." Jim explained as he stood and stretched.
" Jim he's a teenager. Sulking is what they do best. Believe me I know. " Simon said smiling at the detective. "What happened this morning?"
"To tell the truth Simon, I don't know. Things were going good with the kid, and then he freaked out and bolted. I nabbed him in the hallway and brought him back to the loft. He was on the couch when I left. I've been trying to talk to him and put him at ease, but he's so scared. I don't know what to do to show him he can trust me." Jim said sighing.
"Give him time Jim. You may not believe it now, but he'll come around. He needs you to be consistent with him and shown that you care." Simon said pulling a cigar from his pocket. "Have you told him about you sentinel abilities?" he asked as an after thought.
"No, not yet. I didn't want to overwhelm him on his first day. Simon, I need to go and check on Blair. I'm not gonna be able to concentrate on the case if I don't." Jim told him wanting to leave and check on his charge.
Simon sighed and said, " Alright go, but I want you back here after you check on him." He turned and went back to his office mumbling.
Jim stood outside the apartment and listened for the one heartbeat that wasn't there. He went in and scanned for Blair's pack or a note. Finding neither, he went to the phone and called Simon.
"Banks!" Simon said in his usual gruff voice.
"Simon, it's Jim. Blair's gone. I have to go find him." Jim said, turning down his hearing a bit.
"Do you know where he went? Did he leave a note?" Simon asked.
"No he didn't and that's one of the things we're going to talk about when I find him. I have no clue where to start looking for him either. What do you suggest Simon?" Jim asked as he looked around the loft, hoping to find something that would lead him to Blair's whereabouts.
"What about the warehouse? Is there any possibility he could've gone back there? Did he mention any friends that maybe he'd go stay with?" Simon asked trying to think of any possible answer.
"Blair never mentioned any friends, but maybe he did go back to the warehouse. I'll go check it out, question a few neighbors and hopefully come up with something. Thanks Simon." Jim said
"Sure Jim, just try not to be too hard on the kid when you find him. He's scared and confused and trying to figure out if you really care about him." Simon told him.
"I know Simon, I know. Whether he's happy or not when I find him, he's still coming home and getting a sore backside. I won't tolerate him leaving without a note and running away from his problems. I'll keep you informed Simon, bye" Jim hung up the phone and it immediately rang.
Jim rolled his eyes, sighed and answered the phone, " Simon, I already told you…" He stopped when a familiar voice stopped him.
"Jim? Is that you? Oh Jim I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me." Blair said his voice trembling and laced with fear and regret.
"Hey Chief. Shh calm down okay? Just tell me where you are and I'll come and bring you home." Jim told him as he tried to keep his voice calm and reassuring. He wanted to demand an answer from the boy, but could tell by Blair's voice that if he did that, he would probably hang up.
"How mad are you?" Blair asked still obvious upset.
Jim sighed, closed his eyes, and counted softly to ten before answering. " I'm worried about you Chief, more than I am angry. It's gonna be okay. I promise. Now can you tell me where you are?" He could hear the almost silent sobs start again.
"Hello? Mr. Ellison?" A new voice questioned politely.
"Yeah, who's this?" Jim asked.
"I'm Doc's…sorry Blair's friend Bear…well that's my nickname. My real name is Dan. Blair's pretty upset, you need to know where we live right?" Bear asked.
"Yeah, I'd appreciate that kid. Uh huh okay I got it, thanks Dan." Jim said as he scribbled the address down on a piece of paper. He was surprised at how polite the kid was. Most kids wouldn't give up their friend's whereabouts so easily. Especially after what Blair had probably told him.
Blair curled up in the corner of the couch, when they arrived back at the loft. He clutched one of the throw pillows and began to pick at it as he darted nervous glances at Jim. He finally looked up and stared at Jim to figure out how mad he was.
Jim regarded the frightened youth on his couch. He saw the nervous glances being directed at him. They held his gaze for a moment then dropped.
He couldn't hold Jim's gaze anymore as he lowered his eyes, and then his head. Blair's mind was racing with every horrible thing he thought Jim was going to do to him. Jim hadn't looked angry, but Blair figured it was the calm before the storm.
The kid's heart was racing, as was his breathing, telling Jim that his young charge was working himself into a full-blown panic attack. He wondered why the kid wasn't starting his chanting like he had done last night.
"Chief," Jim barely had the word out of his mouth before Blair was in his arms sobbing. He closed his arms around Blair and began to rub his back, hair and shoulders. "Shh…it's gonna be okay Chief…it's gonna be okay." Jim murmured against the teen's curls.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean too." Blair sobbed. His body trembled against Jim's and he wrapped his arms tighter around Jim's waist.
"I know…shhh. We'll talk about it, but you've got to settle down first, Chief." Jim told him as he tried to calm the youth. He moved his hand slower over Blair's shoulders, trying to calm the tremors he felt. He moved them to Blair's room and sat down on the bed. He settled Blair on his lap and hugged the boy close to him.
Blair's arms circled Jim's neck as their owner struggled to get closer to his comforter than he already was. The tender caresses to his head and back resumed after a few minutes as did the soft words of comfort. The panic attack that had been ready to erupt was slowly dissolving as Blair began to take deeper breaths and began to calm with each one.
Jim felt Blair relaxing against him and heard his breathing and heart began to slow. The teen's sobs soon began to taper off and become an occasional sniffle. "How are you doin' Chief? You feelin' any better?" Jim asked running his hand over Blair's curls.
"Yeah a little. I'm in trouble, aren't I?" Blair asked his voice trembling again.
"Hey now, come on don't you start getting upset again. Yeah you're in trouble, but we're going to talk about this. I want you to understand why I'm upset with what you did and why you're in trouble. Okay?" Jim explained gently. He felt Blair tense against him for a moment, then relax and nod.
"Good, now why don't you start by explaining to me what was going on in that head of yours earlier when I gave you the broom and dustpan. I saw the looks you were giving me kiddo. What were you thinking about? Huh?" Jim asked pushing Blair's away from him a bit to look at the teen.
"Well when you gave me the broom and pan, I started to wonder what would happen if I threw them down and said "no". Blair said then gently bit his bottom lip and gazed up at Jim.
Jim quietly regarded the teen for a moment, and then asked, " What did you think would happen, Chief?" He wondered what kind of things Blair had imagined happening to him. He had seen the frightened looks and knew it was something that scared the kid.
"I thought that…that when I…I threw them down, that you'd…you'd" Blair stammered, his voice trembling.
"Shh, settle down there kiddo. What did you think I would do, hmm?" Jim asked gently as he rubbed Blair's arms.
"Beat me." Blair whispered as he lowered his eyes.
Jim pulled Blair against him and felt the tremors rushing through the teen. "Shh…shh…not gonna happen. Shh…I won't ever do that to you, Chief. Come on kiddo, settle down. Shh, there you go. Come on, shhh." Jim said reassuringly as he rubbed his hand gently over Blair's back and shoulders.
When Blair had finally calmed down again, Jim held him at arms length and looked into his eyes. "Now you listen to me Chief and you listen good. I am never ever going to beat you, nor will I hit you without you knowing the reason. If you do something wrong, we will always talk first so you know why you're being punished. That is a promise from me to you. " He told Blair.
Blair just stared at him for a few minutes, then dropped his gaze from Jim and began to process what Jim had just said. Except for a few curious glances he gave Jim, no other emotions played across Blair's face. He finally looked at Jim after a considerable amount of time had passed and said, " I believe you. I didn't believe you before, even though you promised. I guess that's because you just promised not to beat me. I still thought you would hit me and that eventually you'd forget your promise and end up beating me anyway. I can't help it when you try to touch me that I wince or try to shy away. A hand near my face usually meant pain, not kindness. I know that you'll keep this promise, because you've kept the other ones you've made."
Jim was quiet, when Blair finished. The words he wanted to say weren't sounding right to him. "Blair, I will always keep my promises to you no matter how big or small." Jim told him as he pulled Blair against him and hugged him tightly.
He reluctantly let go of Blair a few minutes later and said, "We have something else to discuss Chief." Jim said solemnly.
Confusion played across Blair's face as he tried to figure out what else they needed to talk about. He finally looked at Jim, still confused, and asked, " What else do we need to talk about Jim?"
" We need to talk about why you're in trouble, Junior" Jim said and let the words sink in.
"Oh. I didn't mean to run off. I know it's not an excuse, but I figured you'd be better off without me and I was still confused." Blair admitted. He lowered his head and sighed sadly.
"I know Chief, but you also left without leaving a note. I called here three times after I got to the station and I was really worried when you didn't pick up. I came back here to check on you and can you imagine what I was feeling when I didn't find a trace of you here?" Jim explained calmly as he lifted Blair's chin to look into the his eyes.
"Jim, I didn't leave a note because I was leaving and I didn't think you'd care. I figured you'd be glad to get rid of me, but I guess you were probably even more worried and scared. Right?" Blair answered, trying to avert his gaze.
"Yeah I was. Why would you think that? Huh? If I didn't want you I wouldn't have signed those papers last night. I wouldn't have worried myself half to death trying to figure out where you went and I sure as heck wouldn't have asked where you were when you did call. Chief if you thought I didn't care, then why did you call?" Jim asked hoping the answer was what he thought it would be.
"I guess I was hoping that you did care and that you were worried about me." Blair said, even though the words still sounded lame to him.
"So what you're saying is that you were testing me. You were testing to see if I loved you enough to look for you and find you. Well Chief did I pass?" Jim asked tapping Blair's cheek to make sure he had the teen's attention
Blair was quiet for a moment, his thoughts reeling. There was a question nagging him and he had to know the answer to it, even though a part of him already did. "Are you going to punish me?" Blair asked ignoring Jim's question for the moment.
"Yes Blair I am. Up you go." Jim said moving Blair from his lap. He helped Blair stand next to him on his left side. He heard Blair's heart beat immediately increase as he began to lay over Jim's lap. Sighing, Jim halted Blair's descent as he said, "Wait Chief."
Blair straightened up and looked at Jim with confusion. "You're not gonna spank me?" Blair asked hopefully.
"Sorry Chief, but that's still gonna happen. I'm just trying to decide on how to do it this time." Jim said and waited for the question he knew was coming.
"It's not going to be the same way as this morning?" Blair asked taking a step backwards.
His mind was reeling with questions now and he wasn't sure if he wanted Jim to answer them.
"No Blair it isn't. This morning was for you acting like a spoiled brat last night. This one is for you disappearing and not letting me know where you were. It deserves a bit more than just my hand on your jean covered rump." Jim told him as he watched for Blair's reaction.
Dark blue eyes widened at what Jim said. A large hand clamped down on his wrist, before he could back up again. Blair looked at his wrist, then at Jim with panic in his eyes. He began to struggle to try to get away.
"Shh…settle down Junior." Jim said even though he knew it wouldn't do any good. Blair still struggled against his grasp. Jim finally pulled Blair quickly to him and over his lap. He delivered five quick swats then set the teen back on his feet.
Blair stood motionless and speechless at Jim's side. He looked at Jim, bewildered about what had just happened.
Jim would have laughed at the look on Blair's face if the situation at hand wasn't serious. He knew he had to explain. " That was to get your attention and calm you down. You weren't listening to anything but your fear and I need you to listen to me." He explained hoping Blair understood.
"I know and I'm sorry, but I don't know what's gonna happen and it scares me." Blair admitted as tears began to form in his eyes.
"I know and that's why I had to get your attention." Jim said releasing Blair's wrist.
"What are you gonna do?" Blair asked wanting to get it over with already.
Jim thought for a moment, and then sighed as he came to a decision. He took a hold of Blair's wrist again.
"I'm not gonna run Jim. You don't have to hold my wrist." Blair said trying to pull free from Jim's grasp.
"Stop Blair. You might try to run when I tell you what to do next." Jim told him tightening his grip on Blair's wrist. He steeled himself at his next words. "Drop your jeans Blair." He said firmly.
"What! No way! You are not hitting me on my bare butt. Nuh uh you can forget that." Blair protested loudly.
"Would you prefer the alternative?" Jim asked. He had been expecting that type of reaction and was ready with another option.
"What's the alternative?" Blair asked, wondering if it was worse.
"You can keep your pants up, but I use a hair brush on your backside." Jim said, and wondered which one the kid would choose.
Blair pulled his hand away from Jim's grip and stood silently for a moment. He finally looked at Jim with unshed tears in his eyes and said, " I don't want the brush." He undid his jeans, let them drop to the floor, and stood there in his dark blue boxers with tears spilling down his cheeks.
Jim nodded at Blair's choice and said, " Let's get this over with." He took Blair's arm and led him over his lap.
Blair shivered as he felt his boxers leave his backside and join his pants around his ankles. He tensed when he felt Jim push his shirt back a bit.
"Shh…relax Blair. It'll be over with in a few minutes." Jim said calmly as he rubbed his hand over Blair's shoulders to ease the teen's tension.
"Easy for you to say." Blair mumbled softly. He couldn't help but relax at the gentle massage to his shoulders.. He let out a whimper when he felt Jim's hand leave his shoulders and plant itself firmly at the small of his back, then yelped loudly as Jim's other hand made a target out of his butt.
Jim had to bite back the laughter forming in his throat at Blair's quiet retort, and smiled instead. When he heard Blair whimper, he had to strengthen his resolve and landed the first of many swats to Blair's defenseless rump.
The only sounds that filled the loft for the next few minutes were Blair's yelps and skin hitting skin. When Blair's backside had been turned a rosy shade of pink, Jim raised his left leg and began to pepper Blair's undercurve and upper thighs with a volley of swats eliciting loud howls from the teen.
Blair's hand shot back to shield himself from this new assault. Jim grabbed it and pinned against Blair's back as he kept delivering swat after swat to Blair's backside, undercurve and thighs. Blair quickly kicked his feet up next taking his boxers with them and leaving his jeans on the floor. He used his feet to protect his abused rump.
"Jim…please…stop. Please. You'll always know…know where I am from…from now on, I promise, just please stop…stop." Blair pleaded trying to choke down sobs at the same time.
"Blair, put your feet down. We're almost done here, I promise. Come on Chief, put'em down." Jim said patting Blair's feet.
Gathering what courage he had left, Blair slowly put his feet down, and yelped as the swats immediately began again. They came faster and harder than before, driving Blair to finally lay limply over Jim's lap sobbing hard.
Jim could tell by the distressed sobs that Blair was at his breaking point. He landed one final swat to Blair's undercurve and stopped.
"Shh…shh…shh it's over with now. Shh…come on take deep breaths Chief. There ya go shh." Jim said rubbing his hand over Blair's shoulders. He pulled Blair's boxers up causing Blair to cry out as they touched his scorched butt.
"Shh, I know it hurts Chief. It'll be okay." Jim said helping Blair up.
Blair stood shakily, then leaned against Jim and sobbed on his shoulder. He felt Jim try to maneuver him onto his lap. Blair resisted and shook his head. "No Jim. Hurts." He said softly his voice breaking a bit.
"Shh okay Chief, no sittin' down. Let's lay you down on the bed though okay? You'll feel a little better." Jim told him getting up. He helped Blair lay down on his stomach on the bed. He sat next to Blair on the bed and began to stroke his hair and shoulders. His sentinel hearing listened to the sobs and hitches in breathing, till Blair finally calmed down, while he murmured comforting words to the teen and rubbed his back and shoulders.
"I'm sorry Jim. I guess this means two phone calls and a note now." Blair said softly looking towards the window.
"Shh…it's over with Junior. You're forgiven, so no more apologies okay?" Jim gently scolded.
"Kay Jim." Blair said lifting and turning his head to look at Jim and smiled a little.
"As for the note, I know why you didn't leave one, so I'll overlook it this time. Next time though, we will go to the leaving two phone calls and a note. Got it kiddo?" Jim asked giving Blair a gentle thump to the back of his head.
Gratefulness shone in Blair's eyes as he nodded and said, "Thanks Jim." He was quiet for a few minutes then propped himself on his arms, looked at Jim and asked, "Jim, will you always do this?"
"Do what Chief?" Jim asked puzzled as he continued to rub Blair's back and shoulders.
"This. What you're doing right now. Will you always do this afterwards?" Blair asked hoping he had made himself clear this time.
"You mean will I always comfort you after I blister your backside? Yes Chief I will, unless you want me to leave you alone." Jim told him.
"No, I don't want you to leave me alone. Why do you do it though? I thought you were mad at me." Blair asked.
" I was mad Chief, but I was also scared. I didn't know where you were or what had happened to you. You were punished though, and this, " Jim said pausing and stoking Blair's hair lightly before continuing, " is to let you know that I still love you and that you've been forgiven." Jim explained still stroking Blair's hair and shoulders. He brushed a few curls out of the teen's face and tucked them behind his ear.
Blair moved closer to Jim, grimacing as the heat in his backside made itself known again. He crossed his arms on Jim's leg, laid his head on top, and sighed contentedly. He then noticed the blanket on the bed, looked up at Jim and asked, " When did you make up the bed Jim?"
"I did it before I came to get you from your friend Dan's. We can go buy more things for your room tomorrow. Anything you want to get for it to make it yours. Alright?" Jim said and smiled at Blair, when he moved to lay on Jim's leg.
"Really Jim? Anything? Thanks." Blair asked surprised by the generous offer. A yawn suddenly escaped Blair's lips. "Hey Jim? Could I go to sleep for a while? I'm kind of tired." Blair asked sleepily.
"Yes anything and yes you can got to sleep. I'm going to make dinner while you're asleep and wake you when it's ready, so I'll need my leg back." Jim said as he eased himself out from under Blair's head, grabbed one of the pillow at the other end of the bed and slipped it under Blair's head. Blair fell into a light sleep as Jim did this and barely felt the tender kiss placed on his forehead.
Jim turned to leave the room and heard Blair mumble something softly. "What was that Chief?" Jim asked turning up his hearing a bit as Blair spoke softly again. He smiled as he left the room, Blair's words now filling his heart.
"You passed Jim."