As much as she loved the anime Naruto, she doesn't appreciate living in it. There is death everywhere, and when she means everywhere, she means it. Now her eyes have opened she sees a lot of things, from the way her mother walks like a tiger on the hunt, to how her father snarls at the mention of brave warriors who can defeat him, even how the students power over everything they come across. It doesn't matter how she sees things, if she looked through a prism she'd still see aggression and hunger to win, the fervent desires to control.
And she still doesn't understand why. Why the Kaguya? Why her? How is this even possible?
No matter what formulas she concocts, no matter how many theories she tries to create, it still doesn't come together. Tsukiko has seen a lot of things already, in this life and the past, and nothing seems to fit together in a common sense. She's so exhausted it's ridiculous; it's not her typical depression.
It's not her.
When she passes her withering grandmothers and grandfathers on the streets all she sees is the battle worn veterian, the exhausted eyes of someone far beyond their years, the hunches and limps of old battle scars.
There is absolutely nothing she can do to help herself in a situation like this, she can't call it a hoax since she's never had a run in with hallucinations before, she can't call it a simulator because absolutely nothing can describe how detailed this is, how advanced this is for her time, she can't call it anything other than reality.
"Kaa-chan, how are you?" Tsukiko asks on a rainy day. It's always raining here, and when it's not it's snowing, and when it's not it's as chilly as a wizard's heart. "You look cold." Speaking with her four year old vocabulary is hard, but also easy at the same time. The hard part is playing dumb. And pronouncing words as well. The easy part is reading and writing.
"I am fine, darling, don't you worry about me." She says in a gloomy voice, obviously depressed. "It's just, I-" Her mother sounds so desperate, as if she wanted to tell her something important. "Never mind."
"I'm always going to be here for you, you know." Tsukiko mutters, and attempts to wrap her short arms around her mother's waist, trying to sound supportive. Her childish voice is high, but lower than most of her peers, as she knew how to use her voice way before any of them ever could.
"Yes, I know, little moon, but I think I made a mistake. A big one. One I know I cannot reverse."
"What did you do?"
It is a question, really, but, she has to admit, it came out more like a statement, like a command. This catches the attention of her mother, whose forest green eyes darken with questions. Tsukiko is sure her mother is already questioning her.
"I made a deal I no longer want." Is her mother's only answer to the pseudo-question.
"Oh." What is there to say, really? There isn't much, and Tsukiko can feel her attention being ripped away from her mother to a gaggle of children outside their home. It is so odd having such a short attention span, and being almost four makes it all the worse. It used to be memories melding into each other, now it's about being unable to hold a decent conversation with someone without getting sidetracked. She should have known this was going to happen.
But what will happen in the future? Will her mental stability be strong enough to hold like that of an adult? Or will she just have boundless energy and… and..
What else is there to being young? To being a child? Tsukiko's never raised one before in the past life; she never planned on it. She never took into consideration of what child rearing is actually like, she never really thought of it other than now, actually…
And even if she did, she's damn sure she would've hated it.
"Tsukiko, are you alright?" Her mother mutters almost silently.
How long has she been thinking?
"You look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, mother." Tsukiko says, because what else is she supposed to say? That she is recollecting memories that probably shouldn't exist? That she knows the future and somewhat doesn't care about the lives that are going to be made and lost and feeling guilty about it?
There is silence for a long moment, and Tsukiko can hear her mother breathing, realizing she has yet to look at her mother. She glances upwards and winces, now feeling the overbearing looks her mother gives her. Her mother's black hair is up in the traditional Kaguya style, two small bell looking chunks of hair at the side of her face, and the rest being divided in a zigzag pattern that is bundled up at the back of the head, creating an articulate three bun style.
Her own hair style is somewhat similar, if not more familiar than the formal her mother wears. The typical zigzag that separates her hair is still there, as if it's almost a mandatory clan hair-do. She feels like the real Ootsutsuki Kaguya.
The fact her mother is actually looking at her with that look makes her worried; is her mother going to scold her? Is she going to get into trouble because she doesn't look presentable?
Her mother only smiles softly, loving her daughters shy look. "I love your hair like that." She says, shocking Tsukiko. "It makes you look ethereal. Like a goddess."
Tsukiko hums in acknowledgment, anxieties being shoved off her chest by the warm sensation of pride and something akin to care; maybe even love, but she doesn't want to push anything. She smiles up to her mother, baby fat making her cheeks large and chin small, her pale green eyes sparkling and little button nose scrunched up as her cheeks widen.
The older woman smiles widely at her daughter, the dormant muscles stretching as far as they can go; this is for her daughter, her little snowflake. She has never smiled this much, not even when she realized she was pregnant; not even when she saw she had a little girl.
The mother-daughter duo stare at eachother for a sadly short moment, before Tsukiko's mother turns around to tend to preparing the food. Today she hasn't asked Tsukiko to help her cook, which is as odd as her mother feeling down or compliment her daughter's hair choice.
Today has been the day of miracles.
Tsukiko stands behind her mother awkwardly, not knowing what to do or where to go. She grasps at her mother's yukata, small hands twisting around the material and fiddling around with it. When her mother turns her head around to look at her with something soft in her eyes does Tsukiko stop, feeling shy again like it's the first day of highschool.
"You're so cute, do you realize that?" Her mother mutters again, voice soft and almost cracking. "I wish I could turn back time to st-" She cuts herself off, looking down with a depressive expression on her face, tears brimming at her eyes. "I am so sorry."
"It's alright, kaa-chan."
Her mother sheds a tear then.
The shikotsumyaku is built to enhance the strength of the user, along with some other notable advancements. The white hair is a common thing, along with the often pale white skin and green eyes. Their natural red markings stark against the white background.
When Tsukiko catches wind of the common effect the shikotsumyaku has, she feels alone and scared again.
Since the bones and tissues are constantly at work, the chakra empowering their ability to produce where ever on and in the body at any time, the chances of them backfiring on the person is high. Bone tumors are a common occurrence but a mostly unknown side effect of the shikotsumyaku. Most of the time they are harmless, as the shikotsumyaku takes care of the possibility of fractures and sometimes the swelling, but they still happen when the user is young and new to the ability.
Deaths by the tumors are left a mystery. Superstitious parents say that there has to be a curse for the blessing, that it's natural for this to happen.
One of Tsukiko's playmates who was her age, Akira, who also wielded the shikotsumyaku, who activated it at a fairly young age, went missing for a few months. Tsukiko loved Akira dearly, and missed her very much when she went for a 'vacation', as her parents lightly put it.
And when Akira came back she was thin, thinner than before. Her once wild white hair lay limp against her skull and she was always tired at the time. Her left arm almost useless.
When asked what she did, Akira simply stated that she was training, but had to be laid off for her health issues.
Tsukiko knew what was happening to Akira, but said nothing. She was no doctor and surely couldn't do something like that to a young friend. So she sat and watched as her friend stopped coming over to play, to talk.
It was a depressing situation for Tsukiko, she knew she could've helped, but she has absolutely no medical knowledge on how to do a procedure with a high mortality rate. She could've done something, but didn't because she knew nothing.
She could've save a friend but she did nothing. Not even visit Akira at her deathbed.
Tsukiko is surrounded by her younger clansmen, mostly boys as by this stage in their training is the girls are being pulled away to be trained to learn about childbearing and raising. There are five other girls in the group of twenty five, and four out of those five girls wield the shikotsumyaku.
Out of all of the other children, regardless of kekki genkai, though, she is the tallest; maybe even the thinnest if someone looked hard enough.
She adorns the usual beige and weathered yukata, as is everyone else. Her white hair is not the only one, as, like she said, there are other children with the bone moulding abilities. Out of the twenty five children, six of them have the white hair, but only two of them are boys. One of the boys is Oyu, a boy her mother is very fond of. Tsukiko understands her mother was going to arrange their marriage before it was suddenly dropped off the face of the earth.
Tsukiko wonders why. Not why the drop of the marriage, but why are there more women with the shikotsumyaku than the men. Is the gene something that had to do with the chromosomes, like being born color blind? Or is this just a coincidence?
Whatever it means, she'll have to delve into in later, especially when she has to defeat these upperclassmen boys. Who are her teachers to think a four year old has the capabilities to defeat an eleven year old? There is a six year difference(it's an estimation, but they do look about eleven years old to her), there is also a huge difference in the fact she hasn't yet formed all the necessary muscles to take someone who is not only taller than her, but someone who can possible weigh twice or even three times her size.
Out of all of the children she's seen, the one chosen to be her partner looked the best fed. It's like his parents signed him up for eating contests ever since he was her age, and even then it's hard to believe someone like him has managed to keep all that weight. Almost half, if not all, of the Kaguya members are underfed, nothing but bones and muscle and sheer ambition to fight and conquer. Seeing his fatty body, how chubby his arms are, how much chub has grown on his stomach, and the roundness of his face makes Tsukiko think of who he might be.
Whoever he is he might as well just be some child of someone high up, but Tsukiko thought the only high up in the Kaguya clan is the head, who, from the last she heard, only has a son who is almost ten years old and a wife who died in childbirth; lending him unable to find another spouse and heir. And even then, she's sure the son of the head would have enough on his platter from training and learning how to take care of an oiled killing machine that's called the Kaguya clan.
And even then, it's unlikely the heir to the clan would play around with a bunch of toddlers and such.
But that doesn't really matter now; what matters is the gaggle of brats she's surrounded with. They're being picked off, one by one, chosen carefully to be pitted against another child. Tsukiko sees a few children, mostly the shikotsumyaku ones, being pared off with older, much older children, children in their early teens already. They're being picked off sporadically, and she's one of the last children to be assigned a partner.
He is a pretty cute boy by her nigh thirty years of life. But not her type, as, you know, she's thirty. Tsukiko isn't a pedophile. He has to be eleven, at least.
He's tall, way taller than her. Naturally, it would've been an unfair fight, as her has the height, the weight, the knowledge, the experience; and she feels as if the proctors had a little too much time on their hands to concoct something of this calibre.
The boy avoids all formalities at all costs, acting a little out of place and maybe a little shy. His eyes says something about the water, like he's seen it in action before, like he knows what it feels, how it moves, when it moves. He's a strong one, she's sure, but doesn't look all that smart when he clearly favors his right leg. And it looks like it's his favored leg as well, told by the shakiness of his left knee.
Tsukiko feels confident on her wit, maybe even her analytical skills, but her physical strength is definitely something to laugh at. In her defense, though, she is only four. And basically a starved dog. And a crazy mess in stressful situations.
Although he's seen a lot in his obvious short years, he waits for her, one of Tsukiko's big no-no's. She doesn't like making the first move, as he doesn't play any threat to her at the moment, and, afterall, he's the one with the experience, why throw all of the responsibility on her? She's not sure if she's even standing right.
What foot is supposed to go in the front? She's ambiguous, so does it really matter? What if there's some sort of formal sparring technique to let the opponent know that this is nothing but a spar? Is there even such a thing?
Tsukiko inhales for a long moment, and breaths out.
She and the boy have long since gotten in the bloody ring, rotting logs the only indicator of their limited space. Tsukiko feels threatened; her body temperature rising at a steady and uncomfortable rate.
The boy's in a croutch that she's seen other children her age use, so she mimics him, staying as low as she can. Her hands are up, shoulders lax. She's not confident with her physical body, but she hopes to make an impression; although she isn't too sure on his intentions yet. Who knows if he wants to kill her or is just doing this to get it done with. Tsukiko supposes there isn't much a difference between the two points she's just stated as he is a Kaguya and so is she.
The proctor shouts out a short and loud 'fight' and Tsukiko remains still, waiting for the older boy to come at her, realizing now that this fight is being watched, not like those spars that are set by the students. He doesn't look hesitant, though annoyed. She can see it in his eyes.
A moment passes, and Tsukiko can see the annoyance increase faster and faster each breath she takes. Not long after the realization of how pissed off he looks, his feet are already off the ground.
Since they were placed almost five feet away from each other, he takes a leap, face forming into a sneer that could easily be placed as a snarl. Tsukiko can feel her adrenaline racing through her veins, heart rattling inside her chest.
The boy starts off with a high kick, coming down on her from above. She is too slow and his heel connects to her shoulder. Tsukiko growls in pain, later forming into a small scream. She makes sure to not make the same mistake again.
For someone with that kind of fat he sure is fast. She would have pegged him for being the rock, not the wind.
Tsukiko is slow to make a move, and she realizes that her adrenaline is making her this way. Her bones rattle in excitement and in fear. She's seeing through tunnel vision and Tsukiko realizes her hearing is almost gone, replaced with a frightening buzzing. A foot enters her side vision and she dodges.
She makes a mistake with her footing and fall on her ass, and vibrations course through her body. The fall hurts, and her tailbone feels as if someone just stabbed it. It's not a pleasant feeling.
When the boy comes at her again she sees an amazing amount of anger and scorn in his eyes, and she sees how belligerent he actually is. It's an odd concept to see someone so small with so much hate, but she digresses.
He comes at her with his arm out, hand in a tight fist. The other children in the other sparring rings are already falling down, and a few scream.
Tsukiko dodges aptly from his punch, and adds one of her own, aiming for his soft stomach that almost sucks in her fist. She's surprised at this; he has much more stomach fat than she anticipated. With the kind of force that she hit him with there surely will be a bruise where she punched.
A grunt escapes his mouth, and Tsukiko understands that he is nothing shy of a baby, that she just hit him. She just hit a child.
Feeling guilty about what she did, she hesitates on her next move, shuttering in mid swing for a punch.
He uses this to his advantage, pushing her arm away from him to punch her in the throat. She tries to drop down, but he still hits her, hitting her on an eye.
Tsukiko doesn't focus on that though, and feels him overpower her suddenly and she's kicked to the ground. She grunts harshly, feeling something get knocked around inside her. Her bones ache, and she feels cold terror drain into her veins.
He could kill her, this child could kill her.
Her eyes widen and she feels tears leak out, not liking the trepidation. Tsukiko fears the moment his hand comes down on her.
She dodges, her fear making his movements seem slow. He doesn't seem pleased with that, so he lets out a shout of fury and makes a series of blows to her, but her anxieties force her to roll out of the way, she is still on the ground.
He comes down on her again, and the tightness of her lungs, the sweat coating her skin, the trembling bones makes her freeze. Tsukiko sees his hand in a very tight fist, his chub covering his full strength.
With a force she's never felt before, Tsukiko pushes herself back one more time. Her head throbs, but she stands again.
The ground sways beneath her, so she widens her stance, feet aligned with her shoulders, and the belligerent boy stands a few feet in front of her. Tsukiko can taste blood, and sees some dripping from his lips. A cruel smirk blooms on her face, and she looks down.
She has taken the most damage from the both of them, and she feels this urge to bring justice to herself. It came like a wave of ambition, that feeling you get when you win a game of monopoly, or when you beat a friend in a game of spar or sass. The power is strong, empowering, and instead of the frigid fear in her blood she has it is replaced with hot adrenaline that feels like burning sludge in her veins.
It almost takes her by surprise, but who is she to deny the opportunity to defeat the undefeatable.
It's not defeating the undefeatable if he can be defeated, something whispers in the back of her mind. It's not justice if there was no injustice done.
Tsukiko feels the power thrum through her veins again, and, as if she's being possessed, throws a fist at him, overpowering him with the intent to hit and to break and tokillandtomiamandtodestroy.
She doesn't remember much after that.
When she comes to she sees that she is standing above the boy. The proctors are yelling. She is covered in blood. His blood.
She looks down at her hands, the sanguine liquid that came from his body is hot, and Tsukiko can feel bile running up her throat. What happened? Why are the proctors so hyped up? Why are they pushing her to the ground?
The dust of the cold ground speeds up threw her nose and mouth as she gasps, trying to get the bigger man off of her back. He shouts incoherent things to her. Vomit rides up her throat.
The back of her beige yukata is suddenly being tugged at, and she's lifted in the air.
"You have killed the heir to the position of the head of the Kaguya clan!" He shouts, spit fly at her face. She winces at the noise. He shakes her. "How dare you! You shall pay with your life!"
Tsukiko doesn't really hear him, the blood in her ears flowing and her face wet with sweat and maybe blood. The man shakes her some more and she's thrown to the ground. Her head hits the floor and she feels an open wound there. She forces the vomit back, but she knows she can't stop everything.
She stays on the ground for what feels like an eternity, but someone kicks her on the side - hard. With tears filling her eyes, they drip to the ground slowly, and she whimpers. Tsukiko doesn't understand what going on. She doesn't understand the gibberish coming from the man's mouth.
Soon enough she is being held again, this time by her small and possibly fragile wrists. He shakes her and she opens her eyes to see a different man. She's seen him around before, she thinks, but it isn't him.
Her eyes dash towards the child's dead body and now understands where she has seen him.
She just killed his son. His only son.
Her eyes widen, and she feels the salty tears mix with the burning blood from her temple. She feels guilt riding up her back, and more tears in her eyes. Letting out a sob, she drops her head, dizziness taking over.
The world rocks as she's dropped on the ground, Tsukiko's heavy body lying limp. The hand picks her up from the back of her neck, and she's forced to look at the father of the child she just killed.
He looks pleased. Too pleased.
Tsukiko can remember her mother apologizing over nothing, only days before her accident.
'I am so sorry.'
It's like she did something wrong. Like she didn't mean to.
Whatever she did, Tsukiko found out the hard way.
"It didn't go the way I wanted it to, but at least I now know who is stronger." The man, the father of the child she killed, the leader of the clan, Takeo says "But you did kill my only son. My only heir. So, in compensation, your mother has long agreed that you should now be raised under my wing; like a second father, an uncle, if you will."
Her mother has long agreed? Was this preplanned? Did they actually put the heir up to a fight that could not be won just to get him killed and then adopt a shikotsumyaku wielder?
But, everyone knew he was the stronger opponent, the boy knew he was no fool, that she, a four year old girl, up against a ten year old boy, would lose almost immediately. And there are other children with the power, and they're much more formidable children.
She's lying in the hard ground, on her back and hands resting on her stomach. The scent of dried blood is prominent in the air. Tsukiko feels the bile rising up in her throat; she twists over to vomit her pitiful lunch. The acid burns her throat and mouth, tears prickle the sides of her eyes.
Cold hands push bloody and white hair out of her face, callouses prominent on his fingertips. He croons something Tsukiko doesn't quite catch, and pushes her back onto her back. His hand combs through her hair, and she looks up at him to see a toothy grin. She shudders, looking away.
When he is done with the grooming does he finally back off, gesturing for her to sit up. Tsukiko does sits up, but feeling the cold drafts and the hot acidic stench of her vomit makes her curl into her own lap, covering her mouth. She wants to gurgle an apology, but something in the back of her mind tells her not to, she has no reason to be sorry.
Takeo kneels in front of her, a smirk adorning his face and dark green eyes gleaming in the dark light.
Tsukiko realizes she isn't anywhere familiar, that she isn't in her bloodied and tattered clothes any more. Instead, she's in a cold room that looks like it was carved from stone, slick walls dripping with water, and her beige clothing has been replaced with a silvery yukata and a red obi. The clothing is as cold as the room, but it's rough texture creates some warmth.
"The clothing used to belong to an older woman who had no children, so she graciously gave it to you." Takeo says, grasping her long sleeve this time. "You should be feeling grateful she even looks your way after killing the heir. You should also feel grateful there is another one coming on it's way." His smirk morphs into a wide grin that bares his yellowing and chipped teeth. Tsukiko recoils from his direction, a hand covering her eyes.
Pain soft blooms from her face as she remembers the hits she's taken; her right eye is puffy, she doesn't see much out of it, and her left temple feels as if it's been stabbed. She is also having issues moving her right shoulder up after that kick Takeo's son gave her. She whimpers in pain.
"Like I said, your mother has long since agreed that you'll pay for my son's death. What you did is common; it isn't the first time. But Yuuguremaru is my only son." Takeo says, voice low and intimidating to her young ears. "And the unborn is a mystery. We didn't plan it, but it happened, so be glad you were graciously saved once more by someone you'll never meet."
Tsukiko hums an acknowledgement, letting her hands fall to her lap. Yuuguremaru was his name… and she killed him. But, he is eleven, who the hell was his teacher? Who neglected their duty as a sensei to teach about fighting and and defeating the opponent?
Who ever it is, Tsukiko's glad she wasn't his kohai.
Looking down at the ground, Tsukiko feels as if she's going to break. What is going on? Who is the one planning all of this shit? Why is she even here to begin with? What happened when she blacked out?
Did Takeo threaten her? Who does he think he is?
She inhales, feeling her eyebrows lower and eyes close. With one last question ringing through her ears, she sighs, opening her eyes again to look Takeo in the face. "Why am I here?" She demands. "I don't know why I'm here. Where am I."
There is a spark of curiosity that flashes past his eyes for a moment, and Tsukiko thinks it's because of the mostly monotone voice she used. "This is the cave system we've always used to train the shikotsumyaku users. You're here because you're one of them."
Tsukiko looks at him with weary eyes. More questions pass through her mind, and the sudden urge to speak her mind makes her stiffen up. She doesn't want to say those questions. They feel too personal, too objective, too serious for a four year old girl.
Instead, she asks something that she's not sure she even wants to ask."Can I see my kaa-chan?"
Takeo's grin fades a little, but it's his eyes show a little more warmth than when she first saw him. He doesn't answer for a heartbeat, looking at her like he is looking at her soul for something Tsukiko doesn't know about. "You can. But I'm not sure if she'll want to see you."
Why wouldn't her mother not want to see her? Is she really distraught about her little moon killing someone?
As if she spoke her mind, Takeo snorts. "Chie knows what it's like being a Kaguya, she's not disappointed by that, but she doesn't want to see you because you are now - and please ignore my lack of better words - the Kaguya weapon."
…
What?
"The other children have not reached the stage you have, girl, they have yet to activate the shikotsumyaku they were born with. Don't worry, you won't be alone, once they do you will have the chance to learn with them." Takeo says, like he didn't say that she is now a weapon, a tool that can and will be disposed of once it's dull and useless.
There is absolutely nothing she can say, nothing she can do. Tsukiko is at a stopping point. Where is she going to go now? What is she going to do?
Tsukiko hopes that she'll live long enough to be an adult again. She doesn't want to die in a young body that doesn't belong to her.
She doesn't want to die in a clan full of psychopathic freaks.
Chie is Tsukiko's mother. Yuuguremaru is Takeo's only son. Takeo is the head of the clan. Akira is Tsukiko's dead friend. Oyu was going to be Tsukiko's future husband.
Everyone right now are my own characters, and the bone tumor/cancer is my own making, along with the activating thing, and I'm still iffy about the clan head even existing. Maybe I'll do something about that in the next chapter. idk what I'm doing to the seasons. I'm not sure if they're going to exist at all until later when Tsukiko isn't so fucking depressed and woeful. She already has a motivational factor, along with some theories to the high population rate of shikotsumyaku users, but that'll be more detailed in the next chapter.
Original word count is 5,223.