With each subsequent chapter I want to give a bit of insight to each persons thoughts. It won't always go back and forth, sometimes it may have both characters in one, sometimes it may be Kylo for several, or Rey for several. But I wanted to get across that each chapter may be seen through a different lens. And when that happens I will try to make sure that it's as clear as possible. I will also try to keep chapters short for those of you who read on mobile. I know with super long chapters my mobile device doesn't always handle them well.
One more update, I have a fairly serious abscess that I hope the dentist will see me about today. I haven't slept or eaten in a few days because, well, my mouth is all swollen and I am in so much pain I can barely breathe. So Chapter 3 may be delayed a bit. I have it mapped out in my head, but if they can't see me today I may be contacting 111 to try to find an emergency dentist in my area. And that's always a bit of a pain. Anyway, thanks to everyone who is following!
The low hum of people buzzed around Rey as she blinked away the image of a very nude Kylo. Pulling gently at her hair, she shook out the short, dark locks and tried to remember where she was before the visions of Kylo's body on fire had swam before her eyes. The searing pain of his burning flesh fraying her nerves as she watched the blisters crack open, blood weeping down his body.
Yet he had stood there still as a statue. As if unfeeling the fiery rage that was consuming him. When her own clothes began to smoulder she screamed out for him. Tearing him away from whatever thoughts had brought on the inferno.
"You don't have to save the universe on your own," a voice teased from the doorway.
Distractedly she looked up catching Finn's warm smile. How long had he been standing there? How long had he been waiting for her to acknowledge him? "Am I trying to do that too much," she inquired earnestly.
"No," he gave her a quick smile, relieving her some. Kylo's body faded from her mind. Awkwardly her body sagged in a defeated vexation. It seemed to want more than she was willing to give it. "Are you coming to dinner? Rose is finally moving about again. I thought we'd all sit together."
It was sweet, she noticed, how eager he was for her to like Rose. As if Rey's opinion meant something. No matter how many times she told him she was a nobody orphan from a nothing desert rock, he'd come back he was just a numbered slave from the First Order and friends were friends no matter where you found them. It was wonderful in most ways, heavy in others. A weight of responsibility that was more than saving the galaxy.
Saving a friend meant so, so much more.
Friends, she thought, looking up at Finn's open, honest face. Sometimes honest face, she amended. At one time such a foreign word to her. Something she would have given all the rain on Jakku, something she had technically never really seen, just to have one person to call friend. Now she possibly had several. Maybe more than several. And they were counting on her to be the good. The light. The Force.
She was the last Jedi. She was the resistance's hope. And it terrified her. As much as Kylo pulled at her with every unwanted intrusion, every adoring person who looked up to her made her feel more out of place, more alone than she ever had been on Jakku. Only BB8 gave her solace, and if she was truthful, the silent times she watched Kylo pace in his rooms. A panther in a cage, as trapped as she was.
"Soon," she said, slipping her fingers anxiously through her hair, pulling herself from the pitiful thoughts. "Soon I think. I wanted to check with Poe about some ideas I had. And," she paused, choking on the word a bit. It felt unwise to use the General's given name in front of Finn, though she had given her leave to since they had arrived at their new base of operations. "Leia. I wanted to run the idea by Poe and Leia before I headed to dinner."
With a flick of his eyebrow, Finn let her know just what he thought of that. "I see. Well, I shall leave you to your important state business."
Glaring, she tied her hair back once more and smoothed out her clothes. "Funny. Har." Over his shoulder people milled about, going this way and that. Rebuilding everything they had lost. And they had lost so much. A pang of guilt hit her hard in the stomach. If only she had not surrendered herself to Kylo. If only she had been there to help stop the destruction instead. "I'll meet up with you two after, yeah?"
"Yeah," he nodded his agreement. "And don't go running off on some important trip while I'm at dinner. You have a habit of disappearing on me."
Shrugging, she turned up her grin. "What can I say, scavengers are good at that when need be."
"You're not a scavenger any longer Rey," he said soberly. His eyes found hers, heavy with the weight of the world on their shoulders. On her shoulders. It cooled her blood. "You're a hero."
Disappearing as quickly as he had appeared, his presence sucked the air from the room. From her lungs. She slumped against the wall, her head leaning back against the cool metal. "I don't want to be a hero."
"Isn't that true of us all?"