Chapter 2: Rivers not coming Doctor
(Italics - Doctors handwritten letter)
This is the Doctor after Rory tells him River won't join them in saving Amy from the Silence. He tried to channel it on paper. He never finished it.
(Eleventh)
The Doctor was drowning in a sea of emotions. He felt a little bit sheepish because he shouldn't have let them snatch Amelia in the first place.
Also, the Doctor was worried. The feeling was persistent and mild like a quiet drumming in the background. He could ignore it if he tried especially hard. Otherwise, he could not help but hope that keeping Amelia as a ransom was the worse of the Silence's plan.
The most potent feeling was rage – it was like an anchor dragging him down to the sea bed. How dare Madame Kovarian kidnap someone he loved?
Her and the silence were all trespassing onto dangerous territory. He was like a soon to be discovered bomb. He would make them regret the day that they ever decided to mess with him!
However, even more so, he was angry at River for refusing to help save Amelia. How dare she not be there for him when every time she asked, he was there for her?!
He so desperately wanted to destroy everything in his path. He wanted to punch the wall until his fist was bruised and bloody. He wanted to: kick tables; demolish stuff; howl like a wounded animal and to truly live up to his name of the Oncoming storm.
He wanted to tell her all the things he was never be able to say because of their stupid timelines and to take back the trust he should of never gave her.
XXX
River
Why? Just why?
When Rory told me you weren't coming
I wanted him to be mistaken
That you were going to come later
You would come. You had to.
He told me I was going to find out who you were?
Like that now, was important when Amy was in imminent danger
I was seething
Because honestly I didn't care at this time
I don't care, if you are as horrible and malevolent as people make me believe
Not from Father Octavian, not even anyone else
If you're anything,
like the woman I knew at the forest clearing amidst the weeping angels. Comforting Amy you knew nothing about, that's all I needed to know.
He paused and dropped his pen and closed his eyes tightly, and holding the back of his head in his hands in pain. He slammed his fists on the table. The table shuddered.
"Dammit River!" he shouted aloud to no one. The urge to rip something apart was still there, but slightly milder.
He forced his eyes and hand back on the paper. Glaring at the paper as if it too had offended him.
He looked at it, though his view was unfocused. All he could focus on now was grief and betrayal.
He whispered, voice full of sorrow and accusation "I wanted you to be there for Amy again"
"AMY, my Amelia. And her new baby is in danger."
"She's scared, alone!"
"And you say No!" shoving the table over with the book he written on. The table collapsed feebly on the cold hard ground and the book was flung across the room but eventually landed with a crash on the floor.
"To her husband!"
"Rory. Rory who is as loyal as he is kind. Rory."
"And you say NO!" he then said angrily.
"If not for Amy, do it for me!"
"Be there for ME!"
XXX
He knew it was no use. Writing to someone, who could never properly understand and who didn't care was pointless.
Standing up from his chair and walking out of the room. All the anger had left him. What replaced the feeling was disappointment and dejection.
Walking away from the neglected book and fallen table and not looking back.
River Song only did what she wanted and he should give up waiting.
He had better things to do like win the war and bring Amy and her baby back.
He didn't need her help.
Authors Note:
So its based on The Good Man Goes To War episode. I don't normally write from the Doctor's pov but I will try.
Had some help from my beta and she helped make this chapter better. So its even more great! XD
Review Feedback:
Guest - Yeah, personally I believe he needed River maybe more than then the others to help rescue Melody. Because he knew River would succeed and he wanted to believe if she really cared for him, she would do this for him. So you can imagine the betrayal it was to him here.