II.

The changing room at Gensokyo Girls' High, just as any other girls changing room in any other high school, was a mysterious place. It was riddled with a strange, musty scent, formed of sweat and perfume, and retained all the unpleasantness of unshowered individuals without being as unbearable as it might have been if not for the female tendency to smell so pretty. The ruckus of the place was unbridled – from vicious cat-fights in the corner of blood, to almost-love-making in the corner of sweat – and there wasn't anyone in the school who knew that so well as the hockey team.

"Down! Put that hockey stick the fuck down!"

The sound of struggle roared – growls, breaking bones, body parts smashing into other body parts – and finally they managed to hold the rabid white-haired girl and her dark-haired rival back, respectively, before they could tear each other to pieces.

"Fuck you, Yuuka! Let me at her!"

The usually level-headed girl with the short, green hair frowned. Her brow was furrowed in a manner that was stern and commanding without being controlling or reckless, hence her place barking commands at random members of the team to hold the two quarrellers back. She was silent, now, but still rather miffed, and a finger that had been hanging in the air – previously occupied in demonstrating the armbar to Okuu – suddenly whirled around to the other side of the room.

"And you two," she yelled, her eyes narrowing further, "I know what you're doing back there! Stop fucking each other right now and get over here!"

A muffled squeal was the only response Yuuka received, until Yukari sauntered around the corner with her hands on her hips. She pouted and tried to feign innocence, but one could easily see how proud of herself she was. As if to compliment her sentiment, Reimu appeared behind her, clearly flushed and a little roughed up, but hiding behind the blonde as she attempted to make herself presentable. Yuuka huffed disapprovingly, and turned back to the catfight.

"The hockey stick, Fujiwara."

Mokou wouldn't surrender the weapon. Kaguya smirked, and Yuuka sighed.

"If you give it to me now, I won't say anything when you beat her up after school."

"Hey!" the dark-haired girl protested.

Mokou scoffed and tossed the stick over to Marisa indignantly. The blonde breathed a sigh of relief and put the thing back where it belonged, with the others.

"You two have to stop fighting," Yuuka said, turning from the rivals to the lovers, "and you two have to stop using the changing room to have sex."

The captain paused, and took a moment to begin striding back and forth before her ranks, pointing the rest of the players' flaws out in turn.

"Meiling, get your head out of the clouds. Okuu, I don't know what the hell you did with the ball today, but the pitch isn't a science lab. Next time that thing blows up you'd damn well hope it isn't in my face. Youmu, it's a hockey stick, not a sword. This isn't kendo. Marisa, you're our star player, but you aren't the only player. Learn to work with others. And Flandre… just stop being a spaz."

The little, sharp-toothed blonde took a moment to remove her teeth from Meiling's shoulder and lower herself down to the ground. Meiling, consequently, seemed to have only just noticed the other girl's presence and took a moment to smile down at her and ruffle her rabid yellow locks. Youmu courteously pointed out her bloody shoulder, grimacing a little, and the red-head looked stupidly at it for a moment before shrugging. Yuuka rolled her eyes.

"How about we call it a day?"

Echoes of approval throughout, and the beginnings of chatter as the team members started changing back into their school uniforms. Reimu walked over to her locker beside Marisa's in as casual a manner as she could possibly muster, and as she pulled her shirt over her head, she cleared her throat.

"So what's the deal with the Margatroid girl?"

Marisa laughed – her first, automated response to everything anyone said – and started pulling down her shorts.

"There's no deal!" she insisted. Reimu wasn't buying it though; as was her job as the dirty-blonde's best friend she frowned and shook her head knowingly.

"You like her."

"I like everyone!"

"You like her."

"You can talk," Marisa shot back, pulling her mess of a black-and-yellow tie out of her locker and trying to decipher the knot she had left it in, "Yukari's totally your girlfriend."

"She is not my girlfriend!"

Reimu huffed and tried to start tying her tie, when a pair of arms tackled her from behind and a pair of lips whispered something in her ear, and she turned bright red. Marisa pulled her schoolbag over shoulder, slammed her locker shut ungracefully, and laughed.

"Totally not your girlfriend. Right."

Reimu resigned to Yukari's embrace, and the taller blonde winked at Marisa over her shoulder. Marisa fiddled with her braid absently as she waited for the two of them, and when they started walking, Reimu looked her strangely.

"You're usually more impatient than this," she commented, "and I barely ever see you thinking. Are you really that bothered about her hating you so much?"

Marisa shrugged. "Well, it's not like I'm the only person she's cold towards or anything. Why would she dislike me more than she dislikes anyone else?"

"You're kidding," Reimu deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. "All that hatred she has jammed up behind her eyes comes out in a fucking flood when she looks at you."

"It means she likes you," Yukari insisted. Marisa shot her a thankful grin, and Reimu shook her head.

Click.

"Damn, this is one sweeeeeeet scoop."

The three musketeers turned to the sky to find a girl with short, brown hair sitting in a tree, a camera obscuring her face. She had a pencil dangling behind her ear and was grinning ferally as the wretched device flashed and flashed.

Click.

"Oh no you don't, Shameimaru!"

Marisa rarely looked unamused, but as she turned to find the girl with the twintails glaring at her with her phone's camera, she couldn't help it. The two girls were rapidly jotting down notes, and this obscure battle of journalism raged on furiously, even as Aya began to speak.

"I was here first, Hatate," she exclaimed matter-of-factly, then turned to the others. "Have you guys heard the news?"

"What news?" said Yukari.

"You mean you don't know?"

"Of course she doesn't fucking know," Reimu growled, "out with it!"

"Alice saved Medicine!" Hatate cut in.

"You know, the Melancholy kid, always gets bullied–"

"She was having it bad the other day–"

"Backed up against a wall like the movies and stuff–"

"And Alice shows up–"

"Beats up the bad guys–"

"Vanishes mysteriously–"

"And now the poor girl's fucking in love with her!"

Marisa frowned, and Reimu nudged her, smirking a little. "Don't like her, eh?" she whispered.

"Nope." The blonde huffed and proceeded to storm off like a child.

"Hey, wait up!"

Yukari and Reimu caught up to Marisa as she started stalking away, and the tall blonde flung an arm around the shorter one's shoulders. She squeezed the limb under her hand comfortingly, affectionately, and determinedly. "Don't worry, Marisa. Leave it to the expert; I'll get you set up in no time. And if it doesn't work… well, there's plenty of fish in the sea."

"I don't give a shit about the fish in the sea," Marisa pouted, "I want the cute, angry one."

"Sakuya?"

"Fuck you!"

Yukari laughed, and patted her back.

"Seriously though. I've got this totally under control." She winked. "You'll see."

A/N: Gahhhh, it's been ages since I updated this! Sorry for my immense tardiness. ;_; I will try to focus on this fic more, because I honestly have tons of fun writing it whenever I actually sit down and get around to it. Thank you to my reviewers, and for being so patient!

TheSilentLord: Thanks, that's actually really encouraging! My plotlines are mostly going to be cheesy and very WTF to be honest, because hell, that's what being a high-schooler is all about. XD I think the whole idea of the Touhou characters in a high school environment is hilarious, but totally irresistible. I'm usually not a fan of AU high school fics for any fandom, but this... this just needed to be done. Thanks for the support! I hope this story continues to entertain you. :D

I Love You. No Not Really: LOLOLOLOL. Your review made me smile. But I'm going to keep quiet about this, because I have a surprise in store, ohoho. ;)

Wicked Hermit: Lol, I know your feels. I'm totally wary of them too. Which is why I kind of don't even know what compelled me to try and make one work. XD Ah, you're like the only one who didn't have trouble recognising Chen! Yeah, sorry about that, everyone's a cusser in this story. Just because... high-school. I don't know about anyone else, but my high-school experience is that everyone's a cusser. XD No thanks to teacher/student relationships. I considered a couple of them, but then scrapped all those ideas. I just find it kind of creepy. LOL WHAT THAT'S A SHIPPING. HOW WHY WHERE WHAT WHO. Thanks!

Eat Well And Be Happy: Haha... yeah, sorry about that. That's just my writing style in general to be honest; vague, annoying, overly-complex and all. The other two girls (taller-than-Yukari and short-and-rude) were Ran and Chen, and the teacher was Cirno. Thanks for the feedback, that really helps with knowing what to fix; and thanks for the compliment too! :D

Hyperkinetic-Rabbity-Thing: YOUR REVIEW MADE MY DAY. That is all. (No, really.) I was literally letting loose with this story. I was sitting there, doing my maths homework and... "touhou(high school crap+crack) x yuri = massive orgy of hotness and win." (Not really, but might as well have.) THANK YOU SO MUCH 3

Hynarin: Yeah, I wanted them all to be normal in this one. (Until further notice.) OH YES OTP. You will be getting lots of THAT shipping here. ;) And sorry about that, I'll run you through the intros in order! Sakuya (leaning against the lockers and being angry at the world), Marisa (the loud, obnoxious dirty-blonde), Reimu (the goody-two-shoes brunette who gets excited about Canadian Academy), Yukari (constantly flirting with Reimu), Ran and Chen (rude, loud midget and tall, unamused blonde), Sanae (frog-shaped hair clip!), Mokou and Keine (being cute :3), Rumia (trying to jump out of the window), Hina (stopping this suicide attempt), Kaguya (bugging Mokou), Okuu and Rin (blowing things up), Cirno (unusually short homeroom teacher), Aya (the pencil behind her ear), and Alice!

NordicLlama: To be honest, I haven't played Ten Desires yet, and don't know much about the characters. If I get around to it I'll be sure to put them in, though! Thanks!