Max woke up alone in Caroline's bed, for a moment she was confused before everything rushed back into her mind. She looked around and found a note at the night stand.
"Went out for some groceries, be back soon."
Max stared at the note for a long while, looking at Caroline's elegant writing as everything the blonde said to her last night kept on replaying in her mind.
Max heard the key in the door and felt panic for a second, for some stupid reason she stuffed the note under the comforter.
"Good morning, Max. How are you feeling today?" Caroline asked after she locked the door and walked to the counter to place the bags.
"Fine." Max mumbled, looking down on the bed. Great, things are going to be awkward now, thanks blondie. Max thought but on the contrary, Caroline sat next to her and said casually but gently.
"Let me see those bruises."
"What? No!" Max exclaimed, holding the comforter closer to her. She was embarrassed enough.
But Caroline only raised her eyebrow and said firmly, "I wasn't asking."
Max frowned, she was shocked at Caroline's attitude with Robbie yesterday and this morning as well? She was definitely not the helpless and clueless rich bimbo Max first met, the brunette didn't know where the blonde got her confidence and authority back from.
Caroline continued to match her stare, crossing her arms as she waited for Max to give in. Dealing with someone as stubborn as Max, Caroline knew she had to be firm but not overstrict to turn her away, but not too gentle and soft for Max to ignore her.
Slowly, Max didn't even know why she was doing what Caroline was telling her to do but she did it anyway, she let go of the comforter to show Caroline her swollen breasts and bruise marks.
Caroline took a second to take it all in before inching closer to the brunette, she raised her slender hands and cupped the heavy breasts. Max gasped and blushed as her room mate started to gently rub her swollen breasts, they hurt a little when Caroline put pressure on them.
"Caroline, what do you think you're doing?" Max said after a while.
"I'm trying to see how much they still hurt you, do you want me to put on the oilments again?" Caroline said casually, as if what she was doing was normal and obvious.
"I'll do it myself, thanks." Max muttered and looked around, anywhere but Caroline. Caroline roamed her hands over her navel before pulling back. Max strangely missed her touch.
"I'll let you do it yourself if you promise me one thing." Caroline said after a while, Max looked at her and squinted suspiciously.
"What, blondie?"
"I want you to stop seeing Robbie."
Max forced out a laugh and rolled her eyes. "You think I'll just do whatever you want me to do for some freaking oilment? What are you, my mother? Oh wait, even my mother doesn't care!"
Now it's Caroline's turn to frown, "Well, like it or not Max Black, there is someone who cares about your well being now. News flash, there's someone who hurts for you when you hurt yourself!" Caroline raises her voice and that caused Max to be more defensive as well.
"Well sorry Miss Channing, I didn't ask for your help or care now did I? You just had to be busy body and couldn't keep your nose from other people's business! I told you to leave me alone, I told you to go away, I told you to mind your own business but No, you just had to come barging into my life in your stupid chanel dress to save me. News Flash, I don't need it!" Max shouts, panting hard.
Caroline sat there, quiet and hurt as Max glared at her. For a second, Max just glared at her with her heart jumping out of her chest, her heart squeezed a little at Caroline's look on her face. Guilt started to fill her heart but no words escaped her mouth. Caroline stood up abruptly, opened the drawer on the night stand and threw a small bottle at Max's feet.
"You can have it." Caroline said in monotone, her face not showing any emotion as she turned to the bathroom to get ready for work.
Even after the showerhead turned on, Max was still staring at the little bottle on the comforter, mocking her for her stupidity. Well, congratulations to me, I fucked up again! I pushed the only person who cared away from me.
Max blinked the tears away, stood up on gingerly legs to her bedroom to change. At the doorway she remembered how Caroline kicked Robbie out, theatening him for hurting her. Max's heart skipped a beat at the memory, Caroline had called her 'her Max'. Max laid in bed for a while, holding the bottle up in the air.
I am self destructive.
Max thought again. She craved for booze, or weed, or a blade to numb all the pain away. She tossed around in the bed, looking for her stash of weed which she found out she finished a few days ago. Max cursed under her breath and opened her night stand for her blade.
Max held the blade in her fingers above her wrist and squeezed her eyes. Suddenly a strong sentence illuminated in her pitch black mind.
"News Flash, there's someone who hurts for you when you hurt yourself! "Max opened her eyes and froze, she heard the shower clicked shut. Horrified for no reason all of a sudden, Max threw the blade away from her.
What was she doing?
Max quickly changed into her uniform, wanting to get out of the stuffy room as soon as possible. Caroline was making coffee when Max walked to her in the kitchen. There was a tense silence in the room.
Max bit her lips, the words stucked in her throat. It was choking her. Caroline glanced at her above her mug. Max played with a spoon on the table absently, before grabbing a pen and a note. Caroline watched Max wrote something quick on the note and slide it to her on the kitchen table. Caroline took it in her hands.
"I'm sorry, gimme some time."
Caroline looked at Max who was looking behind her before she pulled something out from her apron. Max looked at Caroline briefly as she passed the little bottle to the other woman.
"I don't know how to put this on." Max clenched her jaw, that was as close as she could get to 'I need help.'
Caroline smiled a brilliant smile, she took the bottle in her hands and said "I'll put it on for you tonight." Then she walked to the other side of the counter to Max. Max took a step back in caution, her back hitting the counter.
"What now, Blondie?" Max asked nervously at the tender look in Caroline's blue eyes.
Caroline only took her face in her hands and plant a kiss at the corner of her mouth. Max widened her eyes at the bold move and held a hand to the spot. Caroline's lips were so warm and soft.
But when she looked at Caroline, Caroline only said: "Come on, we'll be late for work."
XXXXXX
Work went as usual, it wasn't awkward between them as Max had expected it to be. But during break, Max received a text from Robbie.
"Hey babe, meet up at my place tonight?"
Max glanced guiltily at Caroline who was taking with Earl, she entered the freezer to answer the text. Max's fingers lingered above the keyboard, not sure what to reply. Half of her wanted to say yes because she saw nothing wrong with her abusive relationship and her ego didn't allow her to do what Caroline asked her to do; another half however wanted to listen to Caroline for once, another half of her secretly craves for Caroline's soft touch and gentle kisses but Max would not admit it aloud.
Max stared mindlessly at the text until Tobie sent another text.
"We can continue what was interrupted last night?"
Max's heart skipped a beat thinking about what happened last night, and somehow Caroline's hurt and disappointed face flashed into her mind if she agreed to the text. Caroline's every single word last night rang out in her head "I want to be the one you loose yourself to..." and the rest of the sentences that managed to make her feel so many things at once.
"Maybe next time." Max typed, "Busy." Max added and was quickly replied with a sad emoji.
Max huffed, this shit shouldn't be so stressful. She blamed Caroline for this, god damn her for all these feelings. Blondie had messed up her system.
Upon reaching home that night, Max went straight to her room but before she could close her door, Caroline said to her,
"Hey Max, come out here when you're done inside." Caroline said casually, Max cursed under her breath. She was hoping Caroline would have forgotten about it, it would have been easier.
"Uggh, you're so annoying. Why can't you come into my room instead?" The brunnette huffed.
"Because it would make me angry all over again." Caroline said firmly, looking straight into Max's eyes. Max pursed her lips at that and muttered a 'fine.'
Max climbed onto Caroline's bed in her oversized t shirt, the living room was once again illuminated only by the dim lamp mainly because they couldn't afford to waste electricity. Caroline was in her grey pj as well, waiting for her.
"Alright, get it over with. I'm tired." Max said shortly but Caroline only smiled and said,
"Come closer."
Max rolled her eyes and moved closer next to Caroline, the blonde gently lift her shirt from her body, leaving her naked once again under Caroline's tender eyes. Max squirmed uncomfortably at the attention, she was used to lustful, hungry look of men on her body that always managed to make her feel cheap but Caroline was looking at her lovingly and what the hell, longingly as if she was some treasure to be behold carefully.
"Can I touch you, Max?" Caroline whispered, looking right into Max's eyes.
Max looked away and snarled, "How else are you going to apply the oilment?"
Caroline took that as a yes and spread Max's legs to move between them, Max was surprised at the move, the brunnette swallowed nervously when Caroline leaned forward to her face.
Caroline caressed Max's cheeks softly before placing a kiss at the corner of the brunnette's dark, plum lips. Max widened her eyes as Caroline placed gentle, wet kisses down her neck, none lingered for long until she reached downwards. Caroline took her breasts and gently fondled them before placing loving kisses around her creamy flesh, closing on her nipple. Honestly, Max was just too fucking shocked to react, her hands gripping the sheets in fists on either side of her body.
Then, Caroline continued to place kisses on each scars and bruises Max had before sitting straight back. The blonde reached for the bottle of sensual oil and started to rub on Max's skin. Max finally spoke after what seemed to be her brain being short wired.
"What was that?" Max licked her dry lips.
"What was what?" Caroline pretended to not know what the other woman was talking about.
"You know what, that kissing shit."
Caroline kept quiet for a moment, "You told me I can touch you, so I did."
Max clenched her jaw, she gripped onto Caroline's wrist to stop her action. Caroline looked up at Max's frustrated eyes.
"You're so frustrating, Blondie, do you know that?"
Caroline cracked a smile, "I could say the same to you."
Max frowned deeper before pulling Caroline forward by the wrist, then pulling the blonde into a rough kiss with their teeth clashing with each other.
Caroline had to press her body to Max, with their breasts touching against each other separated by only a piece of cotton shirt, she had to put on hands on each sides of Max's head to stabilize herself.
Max growled into the kiss but before long, it did not turned out to be what she expected. Caroline let Max vent out her frustration through the rough kiss before she dominate the kiss, slowing down the kiss to deep, slow and passionate, letting their tongues tangle sensually. Max involuntarily moaned softly into the kiss. What seemed like forever as the time stood still, they finally broke apart for breath, looking intently into each others eyes.
The intense moment was broken by Max's phone ringing, they both sat up with Caroline moving away, it was an awkward moment where Max looked for her shirt and rushed to her room to take her room. It was Robbie.
"Hey Robbie, what's up?" Max quickly said, her heart still beating fast and her lips still tingling.
"Babe, you still busy? I miss you."
Max licked her lips, annoyed and angry at Robbie all of a sudden. She didn't know why but she also didn't want to read too much into these feelings.
"Yes, goodnight Robbie. Don't call me." Max snapped and cut off the call. She huffed, looking at the darkness in her room. She could hear Caroline moving on her bed outside, she didn't know what to do next, so she just walked to her bedroom door.
"Hey, Caroline? I'm going to bed now, goodnight." Max said to the dark living room, but looked at the floor as she said it.
"Good night, Max." Caroline said after a pause, there was nothing she could do to go back to their moment just now.
Max closed the door and leaned against it, looking at her cracked ceiling with more mixed feelings than ever. She hated this, she was all messed up.
Max huffed and laid in the bed, her ear unconsciously straining to hear what was going on outside.
In the end, Max couldn't fall asleep until almost 5 in the morning with all the thoughts in her head and feelings in her heart.