I have decided to continue this one, but it won't be much like my other Avengers stories. This will will be more team-centered than most of my stories.
Salami was not even on the list of Natasha's favorite sandwich meats, but here she was making a grilled salami and mozzarella sandwich at nearly ten at night. She had no intention of eating it herself. She and Steve had eaten some pasta after their extremely long nap.
Nap seemed like the wrong word for eight solid hours of sleep, but it's what she was going with because napping with her partner seemed less intimate than actually sleeping with her partner, even if it was the best sleep she'd had gotten since the Snap.
Finally rested and content that Steve was as stable as he could be at the moment, she needed to make sure Bruce was taking care of himself, thus the salami. She placed the sandwich and some chips on a tray, grabbed a diet coke from the fridge, and made her way to the lab.
She and Bruce hadn't had the conversation she knew they probably needed, and she really hoped he wouldn't take the offer of food as an invitation to actually talk about what happened between them. Time had given her a certain clarity about their failed attempt at a relationship, and she was at peace with it. She hoped he was, too.
Her concern at the moment was for his health. He was still in the lab, and she knew, thanks to Friday, he hadn't left since early morning. He needed to eat and rest. She was determined to make sure he did both.
"Knock, knock," she said as she opened the door and carried the tray to an empty space on one of the long tables. "Dinner is served."
"You're back," Bruce said, "Clint?"
Natasha just shook her head. "It was him. He's not ready," she said "You're working too hard. Don't bother denying it. Friday's on my side. Stop what your doing and eat."
Bruce looked like a child caught in an act of disobedience. He looked down at the keyboard, clicked the mouse to save whatever he was working on and walked over to the seat in front of the tray. "You shouldn't have gone to the trouble," he said before picking up the sandwich and taking a bite. "Perfect, thank you."
"You're welcome," she replied. "Any progress?"
"Maybe a little. I'm trying to locate Tony's armor. It has a unique energy signature. If I can get a read on the armor-"
"You can figure out where he is in the galaxy. That's a good plan."
"It'll only work if he didn't disappear."
Natasha only nodded again. It was true enough. If Tony had been snapped out of existence while wearing his suit, the suit would be gone, too. "How long have you been scanning for the signal?" she asked.
"Too long," he replied, "but I'm not ready to give up yet."
"I wasn't going to ask you to quit. If there's even the slightest chance Tony's still out there, we owe it to him to keep searching. I'm just worried about the toll it's taking on you. You need to sleep sometime."
"I know. I just can't not be here, you know? What if there's a blip on the screen and I miss it? He's my friend," Bruce replied.
"Show me what to look for," Natasha insisted "then you can go and rest. He's my friend, too. We'll do this together."
Bruce quickly devoured his sandwich and gave her a quick tutorial. "I won't be gone long. You've got to be jet lagged."
"I slept the day away. Stay away at least 8 hours or I'll have Friday lock you in your room. We've got work to do, and we're going to need you healthy."
"Without the other guy, I'm not much use," he said.
Natasha put her hand on his shoulder. "It's not the other guy we need right now, Bruce. We need our scientist. The team needs you."
"How about you, Nat? Do you need me? I didn't mean to leave. You were the first person I thought of when I got control back. Is there any chance?"
Natasha looked into Bruce's eyes. He looked so nervous, desperate even, but she couldn't give him the answer he really wanted. It wouldn't be fair to give him a false sense of hope. "I don't blame you for leaving, Bruce. If anyone's to blame, it's me. If I hadn't pushed you, the other guy wouldn't have taken you away. You wouldn't have lost years of your life. I'm sorry."
"I don't blame you. I was asking you to run away in the middle of a battle. I should have known better. But, you didn't exactly answer my question."
"A lot has changed."
"The whole world has changed, but I have a feeling that's not what your talking about, is it?"
"No, Bruce, it's not," Natasha said, searching for the right words. "I don't know whether we would have made it or not, honestly. I just know that I'm not the same person I was a few years ago. Ultron, being on the run, the Snap, those things change a person."
"And, I'm guessing the new you doesn't feel for me what the old you felt," he said.
"I'm sorry, Bruce."
"I get it. It's just another issue I need to take up with the other guy, I guess," he paused. "I'm going to go sleep awhile. Have Friday wake me if you find anything."
"Of course."
"Friday, where's Natasha?" Steve asked.
"Agent Romanoff is currently in the lab, Captain Rogers," Friday said.
"With Banner?" he asked, regretting his question as soon as it left his mouth. He didn't have any right to be jealous. If Natasha and Bruce could find a little happiness, he should be happy for them. The idea of the two of them being together bothered him a lot more than he expected. He was going to have to work on that. Natasha deserved a real relationship.
"Dr. Banner is in his quarters," Friday said.
"Thank you, Friday."
Steve wondered why Natasha was in the lab alone, and he couldn't seem to make his feet turn towards his room. Of their own volition, they were headed straight to Natasha's location. He'd missed her so much while she was looking for Clint. He hadn't slept hardly at all until their little impromptu nap, and knowing she was in the building, there was nowhere he wanted to be more than at her side. She was his last lifeline, and he needed her desperately.
Walking through the door to the lab was harder than Steve expected. Without Tony working on something crazy and potentially dangerous, the room felt odd. He hated it. He hated that the voice on the other end of the phone he had carried with him constantly for the last two years, willing it to ring, wasn't Tony's. He hated that Tony might never make another crude joke at his expense. He hated that they'd never really made peace. This room, more so than any other in the compound, reminded Steve of how much he missed his friend.
Steve was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't immediately see Natasha's blonde head poking up over the monitor. "Can't sleep?" she asked.
"Too long a nap," he said, leaving out that the idea of sleep only sounded appealing when she was in his arms. Not that they usually slept in each others arms, but he sure wouldn't be opposed to the idea.
"Looking for Bruce?"
"No, Friday said you were here."
"So, you were looking for me?" she said, but he noticed a slight change in her expression. It wasn't quite a smile, but it was close. "What do you need?"
"I'm not sure. I just needed to know you were okay, I guess. What are you doing in here?"
"Bruce is looking for Tony. I'm covering for him so he can sleep awhile. Maybe my jet lag will come in handy. He isn't taking care of himself."
Steve immediately felt guilty. He should have noticed and tried to help Bruce. It was his responsibility to look after the team, and he'd been so preoccupied with his own losses he hadn't done his job. "You should rest. I'll take over," he said.
"No need. I'm fine, but if our nap really messed up your sleep for tonight you might as well keep me company," Natasha said, pointing to the seat beside her.
Steve sat down and listened as Natasha explained what they were looking for but he was skeptical. "What happens if we find him out there? We still don't have a way to go get him. It almost seems like it would be worse to know he's alive and waiting for a rescue that isn't going to happen."
"We have a way," Natasha said. "Rhodey has convinced the Pentagon to give us a prototype ship. It's not completely ready, but it's got everything we need. We might have a rough ride, but that's nothing new. If he's out there, we can save him, Steve."
Steve just stared at the monitor, trying to will it to give them Tony's coordinates. He was impressed with Bruce and Rhodey's work. They were actually making a difference while he was busy moping around. It was time to get his head in the game and find a way to do something.
Staring at the monitor wasn't making it announce Tony's location any faster, so they sat and talked. Steve listened as Natasha finally voiced the words she had left unspoken earlier in the day. Clint's entire family was gone.
Hearing the anguish in Natasha's voice, he pulled her back into his embrace then quickly let go as soon as he remembered they were working on Bruce's project. He felt oddly guilty for comforting her where in the room Bruce spent so much of his time. Of course, she looked puzzled when he pulled away.
"Have I had my limit of Captain America cuddles for the day?" Natasha asked.
"What? Oh, no, I just-" Steve paused. "It seemed wrong to hug you in here. Bruce is back. I've been selfish for monopolizing so much of your time."
"I'm pretty sure that's not an accurate assessment, Steve. Maybe I'm the one taking up your time."
"I don't want to be responsible for you not getting what you want. He's back Nat. If anyone deserves a chance at happily ever after it's you and Banner I don't want to be a third wheel."
"So, your plan is to step away from our friendship when we need each other most in order to force me into a relationship you haven't even asked if I want? Steve, I think you better stop making assumptions."
Steve was slightly flustered. "Do you want to be with Bruce?"
"I want him to be safe. I want him to take better care of himself. I want him to be happy. But, I don't want to be with Bruce."
"You don't?"
"No, I don't. Maybe happily ever after is for other people. We fight the battles. They live their lives. Maybe romance is for them-"
"But not us," Steve added.
"Maybe not us. Are you going to hug me again? Because that's a pretty depressing thought in itself."
Steve wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. He wasn't sure she was right, but he was too relieved he wasn't losing her to Bruce to care at the moment. He just held Natasha as he stared at the monitor, praying at least Tony and Pepper would get their happy ending.