A/N: Before I forget, I would like to "give credit where it's due"... That Engineer serves as a major influence on this story, in case you readers haven't noticed just yet.

This next chapter takes place sometime before/during/or after the events of Chapter 1, taking shots at the infamous "No Such Luck" episode (more on that episode down below in an overly completed author's note). Once upon a time, Lincoln is out in the woods – oh, you heard this one before? Well, then you already know how it ends.

Before. . .

Lincoln rested his head on the floor of his tent whilst curled in his sleeping bag. It had been two months since the bad luck fiasco blew over, but the side effects were less than pleasant. Apparently, the police department didn't tolerate parental figures locking out one of their kin; this was categorized as child abandonment, a subsidiary of child abuse – a fact that neither parent were completely aware of. Of course, the last thing the poor boy needed was somebody kicking him down where it hurts and the sun don't shine. Half of the student body was either suspended or expelled due to their mistreatment of him, and their excuses ranged from revenge to spite. Adding insult to injury, there was even a "Ban Lincoln" petition...with 45 signatures and counted.

Of course, the biggest side effect was inflicted upon the victim himself. Perhaps contributing to his current state of decay, Lincoln unknowingly angered his best friend/crush into calling off their indicated relationship due to the infamous school dance held just a few months ago. In actuality, his sisters were the ones at fault at this horrible turn of events and attempted to apologize and make it up to him, but he was too heartbroken to listen or even comprehend the words that were leaving their or even his own mouth. He kept himself cooped in his room, doing nothing but his homework and/or listening to throwback songs on his iPod. He secluded himself from others as a result, the reputation he had been tirelessly building up until that point (that is, if he had a reputation to begin with) was destroyed.

Then one little encounter changed all that...

A few days into June, his parents announced that they would go on a road trip as a means of compensation for their treatment of Lincoln. Of course, the last thing he needed now was a last-minute apology from them. Even so, he begrudgingly prepared his belongings for one long month of relentless torture full of sweaty pecs, bloodthirsty mosquitoes, and (perhaps the most horrifying of all) family drama.

Hopefully enough, he believed that all the turmoil would provide to himself and others.

RUSTLE!

Lincoln sat up in alarm and scanned around. Slowly reaching for his flashlight, he crawled out of his sleeping bag and, immediately after, his tent. Turning towards the forest, he flipped on his flashlight and ventured deep into the mysterious woods, hell-bent on investigating the noise that disturbed him from his already sleepless slumber. Seconds became minutes the more he trekked into the forest, and the temperature began to drop...in spite of the actual temperature being 90° degrees.

He came across a cliff, where he almost lose his footing and fell down to the water below. Grabbing on to a thick tree branch at the last minute, he pulled himself up and took a series of deep breaths before shaking his head. Assuming that the noise was nothing more than a stray or wild animal, he turned to leave; before he could, though, he saw something move from the corner of his eyes. Doing a full 180, his eyes widened at the sight before him.

It was a girl.

A girl in a teeny-weeny black bikini.

Lincoln had seen that type before. Leni described it as a "Chic Crossover Neck Bikini Set", previously worn by one of her friends.

Wait, what the heck am I talking about? I am currently being a Peeping Tom for goodness sakes!

Lincoln carefully navigated his way down to the surface in order to get a better look at the girl. Of course, because it was dark out, the journey downwards didn't do wonders for him; he had get a little closer. There was a risk of getting caught involved, but what choice did he have? (None, actually...) Stepping onto green grass instead of brown leaves or grey twigs and skipping on skipping stones, he finally got to a point where he was close enough for the girl's comfort, but his line of sight was limited to her backside. Damn, that swimsuit's really tight...

"So...are you gonna join me or not?"

Lincoln's blood ran cold throughout his veins the moment the girl said those words. The jig was up; she had finally realized that an intruder was invading her one-woman party. Oh, Mom and Dad are gonna have my hide...!

. . .

Wait a minute... What did she say?

"Uh... I'm sorry?"

"I figured someone was watching the moment those rocks dropped. Plus, it would be a waste of a lovely night for a quick swim. With that said...you can come out now."

. . .

I died.

I died and went to Heaven.

Lincoln indeed stepped out from behind his hiding place where the bushes stood. The moment his eyes met with hers, his heart began to race. Her hair and eyes were the color brown...but different shades of it; the former was brunette, the latter...was mocha. Scanning her from head to toe, he realized his mistake and attempted to focus exclusively on her eyes. He just couldn't himself, though. She's beautiful...

"I get that a lot."

"W-What?"

"Most of the boys at the school harbored massive crushes on me, and I turned them down because...well, I wasn't particularly interested in the dating scene. That, and most of them weren't exactly my type."

What is happening right now? A girl is talking to me...and it's not Ronnie Anne.

"Well...what exactly is your type?"

... And I'm flirting with her.

"I'm looking right at it."

... And she's flirting with me.

Swiftly turning tail towards the lake and strutting in such a way that her backside bounced with every step, she stopped a few inches from the water and glanced over her shoulder:..

"So...are you gonna join me or what?"

...before leaping into the water with a splash. Her repeated question again went unanswered, this time for an entirely different reason. Lincoln watched in astonishment as the girl swam like it was nobody's business but hers alone. It impressed him, actually, for this girl (despite having just met her for a few minutes now) was one who exerted fearlessness and independence.

So why shouldn't he?

Stripping down to nothing but his white undies, Lincoln joined the girl under the sea – err, under the lake.

During. . .

"I don't like it."

Ethan Diaz was the eldest brother of Harley, so it made totally sense that he developed a sense of overprotectiveness as a result. What did not make sense, though, was the reason behind his overprotectiveness. The moment she left for the arcade was the moment he started to worry and pace.

For one hour straight.

With his guitar held above his head.

"Like what, Ethan?"

His older sister, Georgie, was sitting on the recliner writing down in her notebook for potential fashion designs. With every passing minute, she grow concerned for him.

"Harley never goes to the arcade. Like...ever."

"So? I have never ever heard you say "ever" in a sentence. Like...ever."

"Have you ever forgot that one time where she deemed video games a complete waste of time?"

"That was one time, Ethan! How and why do you expect me to remember that, let alone anybody else who lives in this godforsaken house?"

"Remember what?"

Ethan and Georgie glanced upstairs to find one of the younger children Daphne standing near the stairwell.

"Daphne," Georgie stood up from the recliner, hoping to put an end to this nonsense. "Do you remember the time where Harley called video games, quote, "a complete waste of video games"?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So..." Ethan followed suit, having regretted his decision to start an argument in the first place (but felt the need to press on). "Harley's going to the arcade today, which is a place for video games!"

"Umm, I pretty sure it's just games in general, Ethan."

"And video games, Georgie! My point is that something's wrong! She never likes video games!"

"Hmm..." Daphne rubbed her chin before a light bulb went on in her right mind accompanied with a sly grin, "Oh! OH-HO!"

Ethan and Georgie, their ears perking at the sound of Daphne's somewhat evil cackling, turned to face their little sister. "What is it, Daphne?"

"I don't think Harley is going to the arcade for the games, you two..."

Both teens exchanged blank stares and turned back to Daphne with a shrug. The younger sibling herself huffed and stated the obvious:

"Harley's got a boyfriend."

That time, the teenagers gasped in horrified shock, something Daphne groaned in annoyance.

Or After. . .

Some time after the archaic date ("archaic" being a switch from "arcade"), Lincoln arrived at Harley's temporary home in order to return a belonging of hers. Of course, he probably should've thought about bringing it back much sooner than much later. When he arrived at the front door, there was a note on the front door that read:

To whom it may concern, the Diaz Family is out for dinner. We won't be back until much later.

He winced with every word read, beginning to glance between the note and the door. Luckily, his decision on whether or not to break inside the house and fulfill his mission was made rather quick.

Lincoln picked the lock with a hairpin and paperclip (as well as the power of the Internet), granting him access inside. Closing the door behind him, he glanced around and observed his surroundings. Harley's household shared many similarities to his own, but many of them being sprinkled throughout in an entirely different fashion. Speaking of fashion, compared to his own, her residence seemed more...lively. Not that his humble abode did have its moments of kinetic energy, but theirs was kicked up to a notch that was up to eleven. Oh, never mind that. He had a mission to accomplish, and damn him if he didn't so.

Placing Harley's backpack on the living room recliner, Lincoln turned to leave but stopped upon his stomach grumbling. He really didn't want to quote "steal" from the fridge or pantry at a time like this, but he also really didn't want to spend the walk home in a foul mood either because of his lack of appetite. Checking the compartments in their respective order, he finally located one of many boxes of Pop-Tarts and pulled a packet out for himself. Placing both of the pastries in the toaster (an old-fashioned one, no less), he wiped his hands before an object on the counter made his heart stop before racing.

Laying there...was a MAC-10 with a two-stage sound suppressor.

Blinking in bewilderment at the sudden appearance of a firearm in a seemingly normal household, Lincoln glanced around before walking over to pick it up and examine it. His ears then perked up at the sound of a toilet flushing and (thinking quite idiotically but in the only way he could) aimed the submachine gun towards the door. A moment passed before a brown-haired, brown-eyed preteen exited the room and discovered the predicament he found himself in...

. . .

. . .

. . .

DING!

...and found himself out the moment that damned toaster went off. (Oh, and the gun, too.)

PHT!

"AH!"

CRASH!

DING-DING!

DING-DING!

DING-DING!

DIIIINNNGGG!

. . .

What the hell just happened?

Lincoln's mouth became agape as the realization dawned upon in the most horrific manner possible.

He had just killed a person.

. . .

Or, at the very least, he liked to think so.

(~****~)

Lincoln woke up with a start to find himself still in his sleeping bag; he rubbed his forehead to find it drenched with sweat. A moment of silence followed, which in turn was immediately followed by a small fit or laughter. Huh. It was just a dream. A...very intense dream.

. . .

Why am I wet?

A/N: I will not lie to you. That last section, aside from being a blatant homage to Pulp Fiction, was all just a dream and an excuse for Lincoln to kill somebody. Those first and middle sections... Not so much. To further explain, Georgie and Ethan are protective older siblings and Daphne is written to be much more likable than her unlikable TV counterpart. (She was listed as "The Scrappy" under the YMMV page of TV Tropes.) Oh, and that somebody Lincoln just "murdered"? That was Aidan Peters. Sorry for anybody who was fond on him.

• The first section involves Lincoln going on a road trip as his parents' way of apologizing to him for the events of "No Such Luck". Residing near a campsite, Lincoln finds a girl his age (take a lucky guess who) taking a late-night swim and is offered to join her. Of course, he does...and gets away with it scot-free. At least for the time being.

• The second section sees Harley's eldest siblings Georgie and Ethan discussing her strange behavior lately before Daphne spills the beans on how she snatched a "boyfriend" (again, take a lucky guess who) faster than both of them combined.

• The third section is a bit of a doozy, so bear with me here. (You ready? Here we go.) Lincoln goes over to Harley's house to return her forgotten backpack, only to get hungry and find a gun lying there on the counter...which he uses to "kill" a supposed intruder in the residence. The gun, not the counter. Although...

I know everybody is undoubtedly sick of these "No Such Luck" AU stories by now, right? However, they do exist for a plethora of reasons, not the least of which is their way of depicting the aftermath of that hated episode in more than one manner. The most famous of which (in my opinion) is That Engineer's "What Is A Person Worth?", a story that serves as a realistic deconstruction of not just the many stories that have been inspired by this particular episode, but the entire series as a whole. It may not be the greatest Loud House story ever typed, but I think it's up there.

So, why am I telling you this? Well, I'm currently debating writing a story with the working title of "Falling Down". Its main priority is to be quote "the "No Such Luck" AU story to end all "No Such Luck" AU stories", where Lincoln finally loses it upon the third week of being forced in the squirrel suit. For starters, he's a villain in this story. Then you have the fact that it's a deconstruction/reconstruction of the sadistic revenge fantasy (unlike "Kill or Be Killed", which plays most of those clichés straight), where he begins to regret his decision to succumb to murder as a last resort. Finally, a potential spoiler alert is where every central character (with the exception of Lily, Cristina, Carol, Conner, and Pop-Pop) dies in a sense of tragic irony. Yes, even Lincoln, although his is a case of suicide by cop rather than a legitimate justice murder.

. . .

Wow, I basically just told you the entire story in just a few short sentences.

Anyway, my future projects may include elements from "No Such Luck", but they will not be direct adaptations of the dreaded episode just to spare you (the readers) the trauma of reading different versions of the same story. An example of this is my upcoming updated version of "The Devil's Carnival", which sees Lincoln trapped in a post-apocalyptic wasteland blanketed with snow and riddled with monsters. This was written during my angst-driven stage, but I've learnt better...hopefully. Of course, the story and tone are very much influenced by anime, martial arts films, and Gothic horror with a sense of H.P. Lovecraft in its core; cinematic wise, the inspirations include Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), Mad Max (1979-present), Big Trouble in Little China (1986), Akira (1988), and The Matrix (1999) to name a few.

. . .

This is the longest A/N I've ever written. Anyhow, sorry for venting. I just felt the need to get this off my chest. Until then, I'll see you around! Auf Wiedersehen!