Finally got back to a place with internet Thanks for your reviews, guys, here's some more! Sorry if the formatting is weird again – can't figure it out.

"No! Don't say that!" – Payson cried, her heart sinking.

"Payson, I can't! You're a minor and I'm 35 years old – I could have a daughter your age! I'm not your coach anymore – but you're an elite gymnast! Even if I was your age – this just shouldn't be happening!"

"So you could never love me as a woman? You will always see me as just your former gymnast and nothing else?" – tears were brimming in Payson's eyes. With every new word Sasha was crushing her hopes to pieces.

Sasha closed his eyes. He could hardly control himself. All he wanted was take her into his arms and tell her how he couldn't force himself to go home to Cambria, because that would have been admitting that it was over. How he had driven to Minessota – he hadn't planned it, but when he chose his directions, he kept getting closer to Payson's former home town. He was trying desperately to do the right thing, to never meddle in the girls' lives again, at least not until after the Olympics – but with every passing day being apart from them, from Payson, became more and more unbearable. And now that he finally saw her he obviously lost his mind.

And how had he missed this? How could he ever have told Kim he thought Payson was uncomfortable with her femininity? She was too comfortable with it now! Here she was, a stunning graceful young woman. Her pale pink dress was not close fitting, but somehow it showed off every curve of her body – and they were womanly curves. She didn't wear much make up – just enough to accentuate her beautiful eyes and full lips. The teenage girl he started coaching just a year ago was gone. This was still his Payson and yet it was a stranger – a stranger Sasha couldn't stop thinking about for the past month. The stranger who paralyzed his self-control as soon as her lips touched his.

Payson was right, he suddenly thought. He was deceiving himself when he asked Summer out. He was deceiving himself when he first kissed Summer. When he bought the Bible to try to understand her way of life. When he told Summer he loved her. When he stopped her, when she was undressing him in his van. He stopped her because deep down he knew – he was lonely, and Summer was someone he unconsciously used to fill the hole. Someone, he deceived himself into thinking, was right for him. And all the while, deep deep down he kept thinking about Payson.

The discovery was like a blow. Sasha couldn't breathe for a few seconds.

Payson was the most important person to him – now he could openly admit it to himself. That's why his feelings and his pain didn't matter. He had to set it right and try to hurt her as little as possible.

"Payson, you will never be just my former gymnast. You're the most talented, the strongest, the most beautiful girl I've ever coached. Even if I live another fifty years, not for a moment will I forget you or stop thinking about you and wishing you're happy and successful in whatever you're doing."

Payson's eyes were huge and full of hurt. Tears were nearly spilling out. Sasha couldn't stand it.

"Payson, I don't know what would have happened if you were eighteen now and the Olympics were behind us. Look at yourself! What man in his right mind would say he could never love you? But things are as they are. I can't allow myself to love you! As much as I want to, you know I can't."

I do love you, don't you see? Sasha added to himself bitterly. And Payson saw. Joy lit her face. She moved as if to embrace Sasha, but checked herself and bit her lip.

"And I can't come back!" – Sasha continued desperately, while he could still say all that. – "I want to more than anything in the world – but I can't! If anything else happens to one of you because of me, especially if I hurt you, I don't know what I'll do! So please, don't bring it up again. It takes all of my self control to stay away from you – in all senses."

"I won't bring it up again, I swear." – Payson's joy was fading, but it was still there. – "Not until after the Olympics! If after the Olympics we decide we have a chance…" – Payson broke off.

"But you have to promise me something!" – she added hastily. – "Promise you'll call me from time to time! And come see me at the competitions! I need you, Sasha!" – Payson continued heatedly. – "You brought me back when nobody else believed it was possible! You made me what I am now – an artistic gymnast – when even I didn't believe I could do it! My parents love me and they supported me every step of the way, but even they gave up on my gymnastics at some point! And you didn't! You were there and I got used to it! I just feel I can't do it without you anymore! I need your advice or just hearing your voice! I need to know you're there for me when I'm competing!"

Tears were streaming down Payson's cheeks. Sasha gave up. He rushed forward and embraced her.

"I promise. I cannot kiss you again, I shouldn't even be holding you right now. But I promise I will be there for you when you need me. I cannot coach you anymore, but I won't run and hide. I'll be there."

Payson was crying. If only this embrace could last forever…

The way back to town was a blur. They talked for another couple of hours, maybe more – Payson lost track of time. She told Sasha about everything that had happen after he left, and he told her how he ended up in Minessota. It was Sasha who reminded her after some time that it was late and she had to get back home. Payson didn't recognize herself that day – she had never let her emotions rule her behavior, but that day nothing mattered but Sasha and nothing could distract her from Sasha. Payson promised herself to pull herself together in the morning and sincerely hoped it would work. But for now she was in Sasha's car and he was driving her back to town. And even though he said he won't kiss her again, when Payson met his eyes it didn't matter. Sasha loved her, she knew it for sure.

It was late evening when Sasha dropped Payson off at her dad's house. She walked away from the car without looking back. Payson opened the door silently, took two steps and bumped right into her father, who came out of the kitchen. Mark's face was troubled and angry.

"Amanda called, Payson. Your friends waited for you at the cafe for over an hour. Amanda said you wouldn't answer your cell. After several attempts to reach you she called here. What have you to say to that?"