A/N: Thank you to everyone who was kind enough to leave a review for the last chapter – the feedback has been beyond what I could have hoped for and I'm really glad I got the chance to share this with all of you!
As I mentioned at the end of the last chapter, I don't really have an issue with how Tobias resolved the Allegiant vs. Evelyn situation, so I'm going to leave that as it is and just skip onto my next Tris-centric chapter.
Happy reading!
Chapter 49: Tris
I sprint towards the Weapons Lab, pushing myself to run harder, faster. I haven't gotten very far when I hear some sort of commotion behind me - a couple of gunshots echo through the hallways, and I hear muffled grunts and shouts. Too late, I realise Caleb has nothing to defend himself with and I falter in my steps, about to turn back. Almost as soon as the thought crosses my mind, I already know that there's no time to go back for him - if the guards catch up with me, I'll be outnumbered and all of our sacrifices will be for nothing. The best I can hope for is that they'll quickly realise I'm the one they need to stop, and leave him alone.
The doors leading into the lab come into sight and for the first time, an uneasy feeling settles in my stomach. Why isn't there anyone guarding the doors? It seems like an uncharacteristic oversight, for David to leave the entrance unattended when they haven't had time to repair the damage from the invasion. I shake my head and try to push away the doubt – most likely, they figured there was no need to guard the serums when everyone will be in lockdown anyway. I focus on removing the explosives from Caleb's backpack and attach them to the double doors that seal off the Weapons Lab, pressing the detonator once I'm a safe distance away. The force of the explosion sends me careening into a wall, and it takes a few moments for me to recover from the shock. When I make my way back to the entrance, careful not to trip over the debris, nothing seems out of place, so either the death serum was a lie, or it's not something that you can see, smell or feel.
Seconds after I have the thought, an acrid smell burns my nose, working its way down my throat and into my lungs, giving the sensation that all the air there has been pushed out and replaced with acid instead. I choose this moment to remember that Matthew's protective suit is back down the hallway, out of reach and now completely useless.
It doesn't take long for the death serum to take effect – I can already feel myself slowing down, like I'm trying to crawl through mud, and a voice beckons me towards the warm, comforting darkness. This is exhausting, I think, and the voice replies, Isn't it, Tris? Wouldn't it be nice to let it all go? A thought stirs somewhere in the back of my mind, just out of reach, but I don't have enough strength to focus on it. I try to swallow and find that I can't – my throat has closed over and it feels like someone has wedged their fist in there. Come on, Tris, the voice sings, Just let it all go. And I almost do – I almost give in, but the thought at the back of my mind is persistent, grounding me, tugging at the distant corners of my mind, fighting for attention. I force myself to breathe – in, out, in, out – and with each breath, the fogginess recedes a little. I picture Tobias' face this morning as he told me he loved me, his voice full of hope for the future that we could – that we will- build for ourselves once this is all over. And I know that I have to fight this, not just for me, but for all of us – Tobias, Caleb, Cara, Christina and Matthew. We've been left behind too many times already.
So I pull Tobias' face from my memory, fix it at the centre of my thoughts, haul myself off the floor, and push open the doors to the Weapons Lab. And I find out that death is not the hardest thing I will have to fight today.
Of all the things I expected to see amongst the virus devices, David is not one of them. But he is here, and he has his gun trained on me, his lips pressed so tightly together that his mouth has become a thin line. "Hello, Tris," he says. "I'd very much like it if you put down that gun." I comply, setting the gun down by my feet and raising my hands in surrender. Oddly, I realise that it's not fear I feel, at this moment. It's not shock, either – although admittedly, there is some of that too – it's relief. I'm glad that it is me here, that it is me, and not my brother, who has never been trained to be violent, never had the chance to hone his survival instincts.
"What are you-"
"What am I doing here? Come now, Tris, I wasn't born yesterday. Did you really think that I wouldn't notice you spending all your time scurrying around with your genetically damaged friends, that you sought out Nita even though you should have no reason to, and that one of my trucks is missing, along with a couple of people with questionable motives? I might not have been raised in Erudite, but I think I'm quite capable of doing a little addition." He smiles, but there is no humour in the movement of his lips.
I know I'm trapped, so I run through my options, trying to buy some time until I can figure out how to get to the box with the memory serum virus. I consider what would placate him more – a carefully constructed lie, or the truth. I decide to test the waters with a safe topic – my mother. "My mother addressed a lot of her letters to you," I begin, and I can see that the direction of the conversation confuses him, "did you...did you love her?"
A muscle in his jaw twitches, and I know what his answer will be before he answers. "Yes."
He narrows his eyes and looks like he wants to say something else, but I don't let him continue. "She caused you a lot of pain, didn't she? Or, more specifically, your memories of her are painful. But given the chance, would you wipe it all from your mind? Would you sacrifice all of it – good and bad, rather than live with the knowledge that she didn't choose you?" His head moves – such a slight twist of the neck that I almost don't catch it. No, of course you wouldn't. "But you would happily reset the lives of thousands of innocent people and tear away their memories, without giving them a choice, without even considering an alternative?"
"There is no alternative!"
A surge of anger rises in me, for this disgusting, hypocritical, foolish man, who clings onto his own past like a lifeline, and yet would rob an entire city of their lives, just because it's the easier option, the safer one. I've given up trying to reason with David, and I assess the situation - if I run for the box containing the Bureau's memory virus, I will get shot, but unless it hits something vital, I might still make it. I decide it's worth the risk, and my muscles are already tensing in anticipation, when I hear someone scream, "Tris!" behind me, and David's eyes leave my face for just a heartbeat.
A heartbeat is all I need.
I lunge for the box that Matthew described – black, with a silver keypad and blue tape on the side - and punch in the code. Before my fingers can find the green button, David's attention is back on me and he shoots twice without hesitation. The first bullet buries itself just to the side of my navel; the second in my right arm – both miss my heart, which is where I'm sure David intended them to land – and even though I feel like my insides are on fire, I blink away the black dots in my vision and slam my hand down, releasing the virus. I feel another bullet sink into my shoulder, and I scream, and someone else screams – I think I hear Matthew's panicked cries amongst the chaos – and all of a sudden, the adrenaline rushes out of me and everything hurts. The black dots in my periphery grow larger, and I sink to the ground, vaguely aware that my legs are shaking violently. David has stopped shooting me and is nursing a bullet wound to his hand instead, and then I know I must be close to death because Caleb materialises in front of me. "You're alive," I hear someone say – I think it might be me – and Caleb's mouth moves like he's trying to tell me something, but I can't hear, I can't hear, and I'm in so much pain that I stop fighting the overwhelming desire to sleep.
And I just let it all go.
A/N: Alright, alright, before you all send me angry emails - just remember what I said in the last chapter. I wrote this because I was unhappy that Tris didn't make it in the original story, so it would make no sense for me to kill her off in my own version. Don't worry, she's not going anywhere! Please just bare with me, because the next chapter will be from Tobias' POV, so that will take some getting used to from a writing perspective :)
Please let me know what you thought of the chapter - feedback is always welcomed with open arms!