Chapter Two.
The Doctor and Strax sat side by side on the doorstep in front of the bright blue door of thirteen Paternoster Row. Two top hats side by side, one spattered with brown mud, matching the colour of the domed head it adorned. It had barely migrated an inch to freedom before Strax planted it back on the summit of his head.
"What's our plan of attack sir?" Strax leant towards the Doctor, speaking in hushed tones. "There is a structural weakness in the south west corner that we could exploit with only a couple of tons of gunpowder to gain entry to the house, from there we could..."
"Strax, we are not attacking the house!"
"Are we not besieging them at this very moment, cutting off their only means of supply and escape?"
"Strax, they have the Tardis."
"A clear and distinct tactical disadvantage to ourselves- we must prioritise re-securing it as soon as we can. In the meantime I suggest we continue to hold their supply lines, starve them out."
"Strax, they've been using the back door." The Doctor kicked at the cobbles. "Anyway, we're not besieging them, they're our friends. That's not the plan."
"Well, what is the plan sir?"
"Wait. Until they're ready to talk to us."
"And negotiate their full and unconditional surrender!"
"More of a peace treaty."
"How long do we need to wait?"
"Females, Strax. You can never be sure."
"So they could be ready to talk to us now? What are we waiting for?" Strax stood up, straightening out his shirt and tie, sweeping his top hat off and brushing himself down, the Doctor quickly joining him, placing a hand on Strax's shoulder as he reached towards the doorknocker.
"Let me do the talking." The Doctor tweaked his bow tie and held his hat to his chest as Strax rapped on the door. After a few moments it opened, and shortly slammed shut again.
"Well that went well." Strax declared. The Doctor held up his flattened hat frowning at it before popping it back into shape and placing it on his head, sweeping around in indignation and promptly sitting back down on the step again.
Strax joined him.
"We could try the back door." He suggested, and the Doctor buried his head in his hands.