So, I decided against writing this chapter in script form, and I added some OCs that you guys sent in. I still need more truths/dares to continue the game, so keep sending them!
Kate was staring at her laptop, happily reading fanfiction and eating skittles when she heard a knock on her door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Butters. C-can I come in?" called a shy voice from behind the door.
"Uh, sure." She quickly checked herself to make sure she was presentable. Hair status: tangled mess. Outfit status: baggy sweatshirt and yoga pants. Meh, whatever. It was just Butters. Not like it was… nevermind. "What's up, homeslice?"
"W-well, I was just wonderin' if you got any reviews yet. Everyone's kind of anxious to start the game, you know, because it's been a few days and we're… well… trapped here against our will…" he explained, looking up at Kate hopefully.
She beamed. "I think we can start the game tonight. We have plenty reviews to get us started. Tell everyone to meet in the living room in fifteen minutes, ok?"
"O-ok, I'll tell them. You can count on me!"
Kate quickly brushed her hair and changed into slightly more fashionable clothing, which consisted of a red t-shirt that said "cool story bro" on the front in black, jeans, a silver headband, and silver flats. Then she rushed downstairs to start the game.
"Alright, everyone. Are you guys ready to play some truth or dare?" Kate asked, clapping her hands together.
"Actually, I don't-"
"No one cares, Craig. So, before we begin, I just want to remind you of a few things and introduce some new people. Just to be clear, everyone must answer the question or perform the task they were requested to do. If they don't, I will use my magical author powers to force them. Also, if things get too… er… steamy, I will banish whoever's, um, getting it on to the room located across the hall," Kate said, pointing to a nearby room.
"Jesus, man! Is it really going to be that bad?" asked a worried Kyle, which caused Kate to laugh.
"It just might. Now, I am happy to announce that we have two new players joining us today. Please give a warm welcome to Emma Louise Clark and Celine Vargas!"
Two girls entered the room, smiling and waving. The first one, Emma, had long brunette hair. Her eyes were emerald green, and were surrounded by mascara and thin eyeliner, and she was also a little pale. As for clothing, she wore a grey and white striped shirt, dark wash jeans, and light grey boots. She had fuzzy white earmuffs on her head, and her wrist was adorned with a silver charm bracelet. The second one, Celine, had dark brown hair with a reddish tint pulled into a half ponytail and bright green eyes. She wore glasses and had pale skin. For her outfit, she wore a black t-shirt covered by a white jacket with jeans and dark brown boots.
Stan gave Kate an odd look. "These girls go to our school. We already know them."
"Oh. Well then, welcome back… I guess? Anyway, they'll be staying for the round." Kate shrugged. "Now, sit down, you two. Go on. Don't be shy."
Emma took a seat next to Kenny, who casually draped his arm around her, causing her to blush. Celine sat next to Craig, who welcomed her by flipping her off.
"Um… well, I guess we should go ahead and read the first review, since I explained everything. Shall we?"
There was a minor grumble of protest from Cartman, which consisted of something along the lines of "Stupid hippie bitch, making us play this retarded game, I should be home watching Terrance and Phillip and cuddling my Mr. Kitty…"
"Ok. Our first review comes from dreamer9242. She says:
For my Truth/Dares: Truth: Kenny, when was the first time you saw boob?
And for my Dare: Eric, give up your fatty fat junk food for 24 hours :3."
Kate looked at Kenny expectantly. "Well? We're all dying to know, Kenny. When was the first time you saw boobs?"
Kenny thought for a minute. "I think I was seven. It was Cartman's mom, actually. Man, you have no idea how weird that day was."
"AY! What were you doing with my mom's titties? I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!"
Kate and Kyle held Cartman back from ripping Kenny's head off, which was extremely difficult because of his weight.
"Goddamn, lay off the Snacky Cakes, fatass!" Kate said with a strained voice.
"AY! I'm not fat, buttfucker!" Cartman yelled. "Let me go, seriously… seriously, I won't attack Kenny. I promise."
Kate and Kyle willingly obliged, falling back into the chair. "Alright, then there was that dare. Cartman, you have to give up junk food for a day."
Cartman almost instantly dropped every bag of junk food he possessed. There were at least twenty bags altogether.
Kate gave him a suspicious look. "You're hiding Cheesy Poofs up your shirt. Don't try to weasel your way out of this."
He whined, shedding a tear as he parted with his favorite snack. "Goodbye, my love…"
"Oh, for zee love of God, just drop zem already," Christophe exclaimed, smacking the Cheesy Poofs out of Cartman's hand with his shovel.
"Thank you, Christophe. Now, onto the next review! This is from camirite. She says:
I dare Craig to make out with Kenny for 5 minutes straight! (Because that would make me a happy fangirl.)" Kate smirked. "Am I the only one thinking this will be kind of… hot?" She received a few high-fives from Bebe and Celine.
Craig remained expressionless, while Kenny looked absolutely mortified. "I think I'll pass. Sorry, but contrary to popular belief, I'm straight."
"You know the drill, Kenny. I'm going to have to use my author powers if you disagree. And trust me, I will make it so much worse for you guys," Kate warned, looking at him in a you-really-don't-want-me-to-do-that kind of way.
"Oh, screw it. Let's just get this over with," said Craig, grabbing Kenny's face and pulling him into a kiss. And let's just say it wasn't one of those… er… modest kisses. He was going full out.
"Uh, ok, um, the timer is set," Kate announced, giggling manically. "Um… wow."
The two guys were on the floor now, on top of each other, and still making out like tomorrow was the apocalypse. To be honest, it looked kind of awkward. One of the reasons was probably because Kenny had a screwed-up look on his face. Another was probably because of the author's horrible description. Sorry, she's thirteen. She's never seen this shit.
Still, everyone sat on the edge of their seats, eating popcorn.
"That's strange. I don't exactly remember making any popcorn," Kate recalled. "Oh, whatever. Time's up, lovebirds!"
They immediately broke off, both looking emotionally scarred for life. Kenny looked like he was going to throw up.
"I am never… doing that… ever again," Craig vowed, wiping his mouth on his sleeve to remove any leftover Kenny germs. Kate just gave him a you-will-if-I-tell-you-to look. He flipped her the bird.
"Ok. Whoo, it's hot in here." Kate received an evil glare from Kenny and Craig. "Anyway, our next reviewer is Tobi's Only Girl. She says:
I'm Atlantis!Sup!
Eric-i dare you to french kiss Kyle!
Kyle-will you kick my ass bcause i dared eric to do that? Cuz I'm a girl
Kenny-who is mysterion!"
Kyle screamed. "No. No way. I am not kissing that fat tub of lard."
Kate grinned evilly. "Time to test out my author powers." And suddenly, Cartman was kissing Kyle with brutal force. Unlike Craig and Kenny's kiss, this was not hot. At all. It actually made everyone in the room want to barf. Hell, even Butters looked sick.
"Oh god, my eyes, they'll never – GAH! – recover," Tweek shouted, pulling at his hair and twitching violently.
"It's ok. I think it's over." Kate opened one eye, breathing a sigh of relief. "Yeah, it's ok. You guys can open your eyes now."
Cartman was scrubbing his tongue with a toothbrush, muttering "Aw gross, Jew germs", while Kyle was doubled over on the floor, desperately trying not to throw up.
"I'm… gonna… kick your ass…"
"Well, I guess that answers that question. Yes, he is going to kick your ass, so watch out. Now Kenny, who is Mysterion?" Kate sighed. "I think everyone knows this."
"I don't," Wendy argued. "I've been dying to know. Who is it? Tell me. Now."
"Obviously, Mysterion is-" A censor beeped out his words before anyone heard. "Aw, come on! Seriously, Kate?"
Kate held up her hands. "Wasn't me. Well, I guess it'll remain a secret… for now."
"Damn it!" Wendy cursed. "Damn it all to hell!"
"Um." Kate stared at Wendy. "Ok then. Moving onto our next review, which is from iluvkenny. Nice name, by the way."
Emma growled. "Back off. Kenny's mine."
"Oh, relax. Everyone loves Kenny. Right, girls?" A few nods were given from Bebe, Wendy, Red, Heidi, Kelly, and Tammy. "Anyway, she asks:
Truth
Everyone- are you gay?
Boys who were the superheroes- why don't you guys play that game anymore?
Dare
Cartman- get an outfit made out of only vegetables, put it on, and run all around south park screaming I AM THE HEALTH KING, IF YOU EAT UNHEALTHY FOOD I'LL KILL YOU AND SKULL RAPE YOU, I AM VERY MESSES UP IN THE HEAD, and stuff like that (oh. And make someone follow him and record it on video xD)
Kenny- you can 'have your way' with one person in the room. Pick!"
Kenny suddenly dropped to the floor, praising the reviewer. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
"Wow," Kate said, letting out a low whistle. "Somebody's desperate for some action. But first, you all must answer the question. Are you gay?"
A chorus of "no"s and "no way"s and one proud "I'm bi-curious" filled the room. Of course, the one rogue answer was Butters.
Kate shrugged. "Well, that answers that. Onto the next question! Boys, why don't you play superheroes anymore?"
Cartman snorted. "Oh, we do. You just don't see us around anymore. Except that fag, Mysterion, who's always showing his ass up at every single crime scene."
"Need I remind you that most of the crime scenes are your fault, fat boy?" Kenny defended. "Um, I mean, I'm sure Mysterion has a reason for everything."
"Well. Um. I'm slightly disturbed from this next dare. But hey, the show must go on. Cartman, go put on an outfit made of vegetables," Kate ordered.
"Why the fuck should I-"
"Don't question me!"
"Ok, ok, calm your tits, bitch." He walked off for a few minutes and returned in a horrifyingly skimpy vegetable outfit. "Now what?"
"Um." Kate giggled. "Now you have to run around South Park, proclaiming you are the health king. You also have to say… uh… 'if you eat unhealthy food I'll kill you and skull rape you'. Jesus Christ, dude. Oh, by the way, somebody gets to go along and videotape this."
"Me! Me! I want to videotape it!" Emma and Celine exclaimed, jumping up and down. "Please, pick us, pick us-"
"Ok, Emma and Celine shall record it. Go forth, now, and emotionally scar innocent children." Kate shuddered. "Should we wait until they come back for the next dare?"
"I am the health king! If you eat unhealthy food, I'll kill you and skull rape you! Mwahahaha!" Cartman's voice bellowed in the distance.
"Nope, I think we should move on. Now," Kenny offered. "Please?"
Kate smirked. "Fine. Kenny, pick one person to go in the bedroom and sex it up with you."
Kenny thought for a while, then said, "I pick… Kate."
"No," Kate said almost immediately. "You can't do that. Pick again."
"Oh, I believe I can. It was one of your rules, remember? Anyone who refuses to do what they are told will face the wrath of author powers."
"Yes, but I have the author powers. I have control. I say you pick someone else." Kate's face was a shade of red that would put tomatoes to shame.
"Actually, the author loans the host of truth or dare the magical author powers. So, technically, a thirteen year old fangirl possesses your fate," Kyle corrected. "Sorry, Kate."
Kenny and Kate were dragged by a sudden gust of wind to the nearby bedroom. Kate's last words to be heard were "No! Fuck you, author!"
An hour later, Cartman, Emma, and Celine were back, and so were Kenny and Kate. Kenny had a super-wide grin plastered across his face, while Kate looked like hell.
"Oh god, my innocence, gone forever, I never want to do that ever again… you better thank your lucky stars I'm not trying to murder you right now, McCormick…" Kate was curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth.
"Dude, what happened in there?" Token asked. "She looks like someone possessed by the devil or something."
"She's not. I would know," Damien said simply. "She's just physically and emotionally scarred for life, that's all. She may not return to normal for a few days. Or weeks."
Kenny put his arms behind his head. "Well, I don't think it was bad at all."
Emma punched him in the arm.
"Ow…"
Kyle rolled his eyes. "We need a fill-in host."
"Ooh! I'll do it!" Clyde rushed over to Kate's laptop. "I wonder…" He snapped his fingers, and a plate of tacos appeared in front of him. "Yes! I have control now!"
"Oh god." Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "He's gonna make us have a taco orgy."
"Relax, I'm not that messed up." Clyde coughed and spoke in a strangely accurate Kate-like voice. "This next review is from KenniBunny74. She says:
Haay, i have a few for ya (;
Truths-
Christophe (My sexy little crescent.):If you could give up one thing, what would it be?: Smoking or your shovel.
Kate: If Token and Stan got in a fight, who would win? (And yes, you may have them fight to prove a point..[: )
Kyle: Whos the most attractive girl in the room? Whos the most attractive guy?
Dares-
Tweek: Lick Shelleys headgear :3 Uh huh, The WHOLE thing.
Bebe: Shave Gregorys head! :D
Cartman: Draw whatever you want on his scalp!"
Christophe frowned. "What ze fuck eez a crescent?"
"I think she means croissant." Clyde shrugged. "I dunno. Just answer the question. Would you give up smoking or your shovel?"
"Well, I guess I would part with smoking. Eet eez a nasty habeet, and I could never part with my dear shovel," Christophe mused.
Clyde gave him a thumbs-up. "Um, I don't think Kate is in the condition to answer a question, but I assume she would think Stan would win. I remember her saying that you were a pussy, Token."
Token glared at Kate, who was still curled up in a ball. "I'll show her! Come at me, white boy, and let's fight!"
Clyde used his author powers to make a reluctant Stan fight Token.
"Five bucks on Token," Cartman called.
"No way, dude. Stan's got this," Kyle argued.
The fight ended when Token punched Stan in the face and a sickening crack was heard.
Clyde winced. "Oh shit, that was probably his nose." Then he shrugged in a oh-wait-I-don't-really-care kind of way. "So, Kyle, who are the most attractive girls and guys in the room?"
"Uh…" Kyle thought for a moment. "I would say the most attractive girl is Bebe, and the most attractive guy is… Stan."
Cartman started to laugh his ass off. "Oh god, what a fag! He thinks Stan is hot!"
"I do not, Cartman! They said I had to pick one guy who was the most attractive, not who I think is hot!"
"Whatever, man, you know you're gay," Cartman said between fits of laughter. "Oh Jesus, seriously, you guys, this is too funny."
Clyde snapped his fingers, and Cartman's mouth was instantly covered in duct tape. "Now, Tweek, you have to… aw, that's disgusting! You have to lick Shelley's headgear." Clyde placed a hand on Tweek's twitching shoulder. "I feel for you, bro."
"Jesus Christ! I don't want to – GAH! – do that! Way too much pressure – AGH –"
"I don't want one of these turds licking my headgear, dork. So that's just too bad, because you're not getting it."
"Use… the force… Clyde," Kate mumbled. "The author powers, I mean… too much Star Wars…"
"Uh… ok. Um, activate author powers," Clyde ordered. "Or something." Shelley's headgear was ripped off her face.
"Ow! Turds."
Everyone shuddered in disgust. "There you go, Tweek. It's all yours."
A disgusted Tweek grabbed the headgear. "Oh, gross, it's all – GAH – covered in spit!"
A million "ew"s traveled across the room.
Tweek grimaced and licked the headgear. "Oh, god, it's so nasty." His face was contorted with disgust. "Take it back, please, for the love of god."
Clyde snapped his fingers and the headgear was returned to its rightful owner. "We're getting down to our last few dares, people. Well, until next time, at least. Bebe, go get a razor. You're shaving Gregory's hair."
"Yay!" Bebe jumped up and ran to the bathroom to unplug the electric razor. "You don't know how long I've been wanting to do this."
"Excuse me, but I don't think this is necessary." Gregory was frowning. "You see, I love my beautiful hair, and I would hate to see it shaved off."
"You're a fucking faggot, dude," Cartman commented. "Just go on, Bebe, so I can draw a dick on his scalp."
Gregory whimpered and closed his eyes, leaving his fate in the hands of Bebe.
When all of Gregory's hair was gone, Cartman started doodling on his bald head with a permanent marker. "This is going to be sweet, you guys." He concentrated for a while, and then stepped back to view his masterpiece. "Holy shit, you guys have to see this! Oh god, it's so funny! Seriously, come look."
The picture was of a poorly drawn penis, of course. And it was pretty funny. Well, for everyone except Gregory.
"Alright, um, that was all the reviews. Uh, I think Kate would say something like, "Don't forget to keep sending in truths, dares, and OCs! I love you guys!"
Kate weakly smiled and gave Clyde a nod of approval. "The next round will be as soon as enough reviews come in. Thanks for joining us!"
Well, there you go. Sorry if the OCs were out of character! I tried my best.
Who is Kate's mystery crush that was mentioned in the beginning of the chapter? Will she ever return to her normal self? Will Kenny be a douchebag and share his sexytimes story with the other guys? Find out in the next chapter of South Park: Truth or Dare!