Edward.
I've been here two years, and they're still making black jokes.
Not that I'm black. But I'm from L.A., and according to these kids who have lived in the largely white town of Forks since they've been born, L.A. is "black central." I have no idea why. There is actually a pretty even racial distribution there, and what does it matter anyway?
So, in their pseudo-racist eyes, I, with my pale skin and reddish hair, am the biggest culture shock they've ever met because I hail from Los Angeles. Fuckers.
Random, I know. But it's relevant when my acquaintances ask me to "talk to the black kids for them." Which happened today. I swear, that's how bad it is here.
"Ask him if he can get out of the way. I want a Snapple." Says Mike Newton in a desperate tone. Newton's actually not such a bad guy, but he's still an idiot.
The lonely looking kid in question is in fact standing quite close to the vending machine, but it's as easy as Mike saying "excuse me" to get his own pansy ass a Snapple.
In the morning before school starts, there are about 12 early birds sitting in the school cafeteria, waiting for the homeroom bell to ring and for everyone to scramble to find their assigned lockers. In the far corner of the room, separated from everyone else in a noticeable way, is a sallow looking girl with long brown hair, looking for all the world like she hopes and expects the way she's leaning over her table to make her disappear. I feel a twinge of pity.
"No fucking way, man," I respond to Newton, "Do it yourself. I don't see the issue."
Actually, I wouldn't mind going over to that kid standing in front of the vending machine, and the girl trying to hide herself, and saying "what's up?"
But I know in the back of my mind that it's a bad idea. Here's why: I'm not bragging when I say that I know I'm good looking because it's not an accomplishment that I can be proud of. This, combined with my natural self-confidence, projects to many as me being a pompous ass. So if I tried to make friends with those two right now, in front of all these self-proclaimed popular jocks, I would seem like a "funny guy" going for a laugh. It's happened to me at my old school. I tried to ask out a cool girl with an eccentric fashion and makeup sense and got dirty looks from her crowd for the rest of the school year. Personally, I think they were being a little judgmental, but I understand where they were coming from.
Those two across the cafeteria could be total jerks, or psychos, but if I know anything, it's that everyone deserves a stab at friendship.