Warning: Some mild fluff, some words in french, some words in korean, and possibly some coarse language. Also, the fourth wall will be broken two times Just think of them as line breaks (:, if you don't want to read them then feel free to skip over them.

Not many characters unless you count Karin... but I'm not counting Karin (:. But for anyone who wants to know Karin's age it's 19. And yes I know, early update, no reviews, but that's okay (: they'll come! So I'll talk more at the end.

Read, Review, and don't forget to Enjoy (:

Akatsuki Cosplay Cafe

Chapter Two: That Lucky Finger!

The Fourth Wall Has Broken! I Repeat: The Wall is Broken!

Naruto: Today's weather, partially cloudy with a slight chance of precipitation from Monday to Wednesday. The rest of the week seems clear with a high of 69 -cue immature giggle- and a low of 57. Now here's Sasuke with the traffic report.

Sasuke: Thanks, Dobe. Over the past two days, it seemed like we had a lot of traffic going past the Akatsuki Cosplay Café. It gives the impression to be a really popular spot, even though it's relatively new, where traffic just seems to clog up. As you can see here -points to graph- Over 90 people have stopped by and checked out Akatsuki Cosplay Café, and the number of readers just keeps growing. My guess is that we'll be getting a steady flow of traffic for the next couple of days, with a chance that many will review along the way. Back to you, Dobe.

Naruto: Go fuck yourself, Teme! -cue bright and innocent smile-. Now we have Hidan with the sports.

Hidan: Konichiwa! Hidan-desu! Happy Easter everybody, -gets an interruption through headset-. What…?… It's not Easter?… The Easter Bunny isn't real?… Well what about…?… Him too?… You're shitting me! -Throws headset to floor- Absolute bullshit! I'm going to my dressing room, Areviderci! -stomps off-

Naruto: Um… -nervous laughter- we'll be back right after this commercial break. Since we all know people don't pay attention to commercials, right now read Chapter 2, ne? -Beautiful smile-.

False Alarm… The Wall is Still Standing…

"Favorite color?"

"Orange!" the blonde piped up.

"Dark blue," the raven studied the imaginary dirt under his nails, the interview already boring him to death and beyond.

"Favorite food?" the man asked, taking notes every once in a while so it looked like he was actually paying attention.

"Ramen!"

"Whatever I'm in the mood for."

"Hm…," imaginary notes, "favorite sex position?"

Naruto blushed, sputtering over his answer. Seriously, who the fuck asks someone what their favorite sex position was? Well no one other than Itachi Uchiha himself, that's who.

Sasuke smirked, not only could he fuck around with his brother, he could even mess around with the dobe as well. It was all too great. "Isn't that obvious, Aniki?" he wrapped a loose arm around the blonde's shoulder, pulling him close so that his head rested on the raven's shoulder. "The blonde here obviously loves it doggy style. I, on the other hand, prefer something simple but pleasurable enough so I can ram my hardened dick directly into the prostate and-"

"Oh. My. God. Stop, Teme!" Naruto gagged, releasing himself from Sasuke's grip and wrapping his arms around himself. "Never do that while we're in the same room with somebody else again! We don't need to scare people with our sex talk." the blonde grinned lazily, playing along with the raven in his own twisted way.

"But Naru-chan, I want everyone to know all about our nightly escapades."

"Then write a book. Draw a manga. Make a fan fiction. Whatever! But I don't want to be around when you start spewing out your guts on our nightly activities!"

Itachi raised a silent eyebrow at the bickering duo. He had expected this, more or less. When the two were growing up, they fought all the time, but their innocence helped them to get over problems quickly. 'And now that innocence is gone,' Itachi tapped the pen against the bridge of his nose, as if he was lost in thought. He really didn't want to get involved with their bickering, all he really cared about was getting through this interview so they could move on.

"Kinky, Otouto, very kinky." Itachi added in his own opinion, jotting down imaginary notes. "Next question: Sex toy of preference?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Naruto jumped out of his seat, the poor chair toppling over and hitting the plush, dark carpet. "I'm not fucking answering that bullshit of a question." Really, Naruto's swearing could make any sailor blush and make all the moms in the world cry.

"Embarrassed on what your answer would be, Dobe?" Sasuke smirked, the comment just added more fuel to the fire; just the way Sasuke liked it.

"No, Teme, the question is just so incredibly stupid; there's no point in answering it! Why the fuck would I have a preference in what sex toy I use?"

"So you're admitting to the fact that you do use a sex toy, but you don't want to choose which one you prefer to use more?" Itachi cocked his head slightly, jotting more imaginary notes down, "Interesting."

"Sasuke! Tell you're brother to stop!" he nearly whined. Seriously! This interview was supposed to be sweet and simple. The sad reality was, it was nowhere near sweet, and just as far away to being simple as it could possibly be.

"I prefer the vibrator," Sasuke ignored Naruto's feeble plea for help, staring at his finger nails that showed he was more concerned if there was any dirt under those crisp, manicured nails rather than his blatant response.

"Oh?" Itachi quirked an eyebrow, "And why, dear Otouto, do you prefer the vibrator?"

"There are a couple of reasons," Sasuke crossed his legs, relaxing himself into the chair. "For one, it gives you the completeness of a dick," that comment made Naruto almost head out the door. Sure, he was use to being around Sasuke when he had, what Naruto liked to call: "His Fruity Moments". And hell yeah, Naruto was always happy to play along because it always got a kick out of him on how people reacted to them. But, this was just getting ridiculous! Sasuke was so composed on answering such… personal… questions to his brother that neither two had seen in years.

What… the… fuck…

"And?"

"It vibrates, bonus."

"Hn," Itachi grunted in approval, making one more imaginary note on his sketchpad. "I think I have collected all the information that I need." he stood up from his chair, gracing his little brother and companion with a smile that would cause a rupture of nosebleeds to erupt all over Japan. "You two have got the job."

"Yes!" Naruto pumped his fists in the air. The first mountain has been conquered, kicked, and blown into smithereens!

Too bad that was only the first…

The three stepped out of Itachi's cozy office, emerging into the world of Cosplay. Everywhere Naruto turned there were men in different outfits that all coexisted with their general theme for the day. Women, and even men, lined up by the door, waiting for their number to be called so that they too could bask in the wonderful pastries and hot men the café had to offer.

"Your Mille-feuille (1), mademoiselle," a man only to be known as the great Hidan, bowed respectfully as he placed the fresh, French pastry underneath the blushing girl's nose.

The woman delicately placed a piece of brown hair behind one of her pierced ears. Her eyes closed and a delightful moan escaped her lips while she took a whiff of the pastry below her, "It smells heavenly, Dan-chan!" she graced the man with a wide smile, "Is this another one of your magnificent creations?"

"Mais oui!" 'Dan-chan' replied with a chuckle before moving back to the kitchen. He walked passed Itachi, Naruto and Sasuke, stopping in his tracks with a wild grin on his face that Sasuke claimed to be insane. "Ah, Blondie, Lil' Raven," then he turned to Itachi and glomped the living daylights out of him, "WEASEL-SAN! I missed you so much!"

"Yes, Yes," Itachi nonchalantly patted his friend's back, ignoring the tear stains that were appearing on his cashmere sweater. Don't worry, each tear stain was just another dollar out of Hidan's pay. "work seems to be going well." he motioned towards the crowd of people that were coming in along with the hustle and bustle of his workers.

"Like you wouldn't believe, Weasel-san! Apparently people love the European feel, being French just gave us the extra boost we needed to bag all these customers."

"Hn," Itachi nodded, which was also a signal to Hidan stating to leave the three alone. With a slight wave of the hand, a good-bye in some language foreign to both teens, Hidan went back to his persona, Dan-chan, and pleased the masses.

"How many languages does that guy know…?" Naruto asked dumbfounded, still caught up in the orchestrated chaos the café seemed to create. "Is it always this-"

"Hectic? Chaotic? Full?" Itachi finished the blonde's question, pleased to see Naruto nod afterwards. "It's like this everyday. Our busiest days are Wednesday and Friday and our busiest times are the Lunch Rush and Evening hours."

Sasuke nodded to his brother's explanation, it seemed plausible enough - not that he would deny it anyways, there wasobvious evidence that this café had never seen an empty day once in it's life. "So, when do we start working?" Sasuke turned to face his brother, their eyes meeting in a silent challenge that Naruto scoffed at.

'They're always looking for a fight with one another,' Of course, that was the complete opposite of Naruto always looking for a way to best the raven.

"Not so fast, Otouto. There's still one more, minor, thing you have to do."

"You're shitting me right?" Naruto said a little too loudly, causing some heads to glance their way. 'Ohhhh fuck on a table,' Naruto mentally cursed, waving the people off with an Uzumaki like smile. It seemed to work because most of the girls just giggled and blushed, turning back to their conversations, while others just glared (minus a giggle or blush), and resumed their talking as well.

Naruto looked back to find a smirking Itachi and a head-shaking Sasuke. "What?" Naruto asked innocently.

"You're such an idiot, Dobe."

"Take that back, Teme!" Naruto snarled, just about ready to grab those boxing gloves and start an all out brawl, but it probably wouldn't help the publicity of the café that much if they saw Naruto landing fists on Sasuke and vice versa.

"Can you two every go a day without fighting?" Itachi raised an eyebrow slightly.

"No." the two replied calmly, without even giving it a second thought.

"Hm…"

"So, this thing we have to do. What is it?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow of his own.

This… is where things get scary. Itachi smirked, no… more like gave the two an insane and mental smile that sent vivid shivers up and down the boys spines. For some reason… some strange and unrealistic feeling… was telling them to run while they still could.

Too late to run now, boys…

Temporary Crack in the Fourth Wall.

Itachi: Welcome to Akatsuki Cosplay Café. Before reading on, I would like to inform you that what you are about to read may cause your nose to start bleeding uncontrollably. I would advise that you have a box of tissues handy, just in case. Now enjoy the rest of chapter 2. -Handsome smile-

Don't Worry, the Wall's Been fixed.

"Madam, I must say… you look very beautiful today." Sasuke purred into the red-head's ear, eliciting a slight purr to escape her lips.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, I don't look that great!" she tried to laugh it off as if it were nothing, but Sasuke knew better. The compliment had hit home, just like Itachi said it would since the girl he was talking too, named Karin, was such a sucker for cheap pick-up-lines and loads of compliments.

Just like the rest of the female population…

"Seriously, you're beauty is like a rose, and your name is just as sweet." Naruto winked, hoping to gain favor with the red-head, but sadly - she didn't really care much for the blonde. Sure, he was hot as Hell in his little French Waiter get up, but then there was Sasuke, who looked just like her old crush ,Itachi, so she chose the raven over the kit.

Sorry Naruto…

"Mhm," Karin mindlessly nodded, to enrapt with the comfort of Sasuke's shoulder and the warm sense of his arm lingering on her waist. 'If only it was a little bit lower…'

"Um…," Naruto fidgeted in his seat, biting his bottom lip as if he were in deep thought. 'She's not paying attention to me at all!' Naruto screamed, on the inside. 'But it's just like Itachi predicted…' he let his thoughts trail off, he had to perform well because only a few feet away Itachi and his crew were watching from the shadows… one little mistake and he'd probably end up dead. Not much of a joke really.

"You look a little thirsty, Karin-chan. Mind if I pour you some tea?" without waiting for a response, Naruto began to pour decent amounts of tea into everyone's cup. Just as he was about to pour his own tea, his hand slipped, causing some of the tea to splash on his index finger.

"Itai!" Naruto screamed out in pain, sucking on this throbbing finger.

"Yes, that's it Blondie! No pain no gain!" Hidan whispered from his hiding spot. It was always fun to write out story lines for the workers to act out. Not only did it give Hidan the chance to put everyone in awkward situations, it also got customers begging for more - a big plus!

"Could you be anymore louder, un!" a very feminine blonde asked, whispering just as loud as Hidan.

"Deidara, Hidan, kindly shut up." Itachi quietly instructed, taking more "notes". The three were all kneeling behind a counter that gave them a great view of the performance before them. They've seen the same storyline play out millions of times, but somehow seeing his little brother and his childhood friend act out the scene made

"Ah, Naruto-kun, are you alright?" Karin faked concern for the injured blonde, truthfully she didn't really care much for him, she just wanted to gain some brownie points with Sasuke, apparently the two were best friends. So, she concluded if she was nice to the blonde, Sasuke would find that appealing and fall head over heels in love with her!

It's scary what type of things run through a deranged person's mind.

"Hn!" Naruto happily nodded, slightly avoiding eye contact with the raven's questioning glare.

"Naru," Sasuke's voice rang through his ears, sending a mini-blush across the blonde's face. He hated when Sasuke used his seduction voice, it was so… seducing! The raven was clearly flaunting his sexuality right in the blonde's face, knowing Naruto could never stand up to it. "let me see your finger."

"No, Sasu! Really, I'm fine!" but Sasuke didn't listen to his protests and walked to the other side of the booth, sliding in next to Naruto. He gently gripped the blonde's hand, examining the damage. 'Itachi said he wouldn't make the tea so hot,' he looked at the tiny blisters that were forming on the blonde's finger, 'why did I even believe him…?' he silently asked.

Now here's where the nosebleeds start…

"Dobe, you should have let me handled the tea."

Naruto avoided eye contact, forming a slight pout on his lips, "But I wanted to do something… I couldn't just sit there…"

Sasuke slightly snorted, bringing the injured finger to his lips. Sucking and nipping, and gently kissing the tanned appendage, causing a slight moan to escape the blonde's lips and the tea cup Karin was holding to lifelessly fall back on the plate - don't worry everyone, the cup wasn't too high up so nothing was broken…

'I don't know if I should feel threatened by the blonde… or completely swooned by the MOE that's being played out in front of me.' Karin thought as she stared at the raven's pale lips continually sucking on that same finger. A slight dribble of blood ran down her nose, a blush on her face and her eyes glued on the slight shonan-ai scene in front of her.

That damn lucky appendage!

"Mon petit kit, ne rien faire aussi sot que vous blesser à nouveau. Promets-moi."(2) Sasuke gently whispered into the blonde's exposed ear.

"Je vous promets."(3) Naruto whispered back, placing a ghost kiss against the raven's cheek.

Now, while you're reading this scene being played, just imagine Hidan mouthing the words along with them, trying to get Itachi to follow suit - only to receive a cold glare and a swat of the hand from Itachi.

Hidan's spirit was crushed… only slightly of course.

Karin sat dumfounded. How could she compete with a French speaking blonde! 'Oh yeah… he's definitely a threat.' she thought, but smiled anyway. She couldn't lose her control again over jealousy, not like the last time. The last time… well… that's a story for another day…

Maybe.

"I'm terribly sorry for the interruption, madam," Itachi graced the three with his presence and a beautiful smile, "but it's time for us to close up shop. If you would like, before you leave, you may designate one of these fine and lovely hosts as your personal one for whenever you decide to return."

"Sounds good," she stood up, fixing the wrinkles on her pencil skirt. Karin flipped her hair back, adjusting her black-square rimmed glasses. "I'll be choosing Sasuke-kun as my personal host." and with another flip, and a wayward glance to a less than happy blonde, she was out the door.

"Karin-chan… and… Otouto," he wrote the little note done for later. The first piece of actually writing that ever graced the yellow, blue-lined note sheet. Score!

"Did she really have to choose me…?" Sasuke grumbled but was slightly happy, nonetheless, that Naruto and himself were able to go through that entire act without a hitch.

Yup… it was all an act, a rouse, a sham, based on one of the many scripts stored in the café's PlayBook. It was basically a huge binder with various scripts that paired the different workers of the Akatsuki Café with one another, acting out in different, gay-themed, scenarios.

Some were light, only involving a couple of flirting pick-up lines, hugs, and kissing cheeks. Then there were the "M" rated files containing… well, just let your imagination wonder on that.

Sasuke and Naruto had gotten the lucky script: Uke spills tea on finger and Seme attacks the pour little appendage.

"At least she liked you! It was like I was the damn third-wheel on a date!" Naruto whined, loosening the bow ties grip from his neck. 'If I never see a bow-tie again, I'll die a happy man.' "Can someone get me a fucking band-aid here! Preferably Scooby-Doo!"

"Oi! Lil' Raven, Blondie! joh-eun jigjang(4), you totally rocked it!" Hidan congratulated them in Korean, running up to give the boys two bone-shattering hugs. "You even got a little blood dribbling down that poor girls nose."

"Congrats on a job well done, Otouto, Naruto-kun." Itachi slightly nodded.

"Score!" Naruto fist pumped, a little too excited on getting the job. Sasuke stayed silent, even though he was happy to actually get a job - one where he got to work very closely with a certain blonde…

"Sasu-chan!" Naruto glomped the raven from behind, grinning wildly from ear to ear with a child-like gleam in his eyes. "Let's celebrate with ramen, 'kay?"

"Not so fast, Blondie. You guys still need a nickname." Hidan pulled up a chair and faced it backwards, so that his feet sat on either side of the seat. "I don't think Blondie and Lil' Raven will cut it though, but they work just fine for me!"

Itachi raised an eyebrow at the cackling man, 'Sometimes I wonder about his sanity,' he turned towards his two new workers. "Anything in mind?"

Naruto opened his mouth to speak but Sasuke quickly closed him off. "Don't. Say. Anything." Sasuke hissed and Naruto quietly nodded. Releasing the grip he had on Naruto's mouth, he turned to his brother, "I've decided on the name Raven."

"Ohhh, mysterious and sexy! Dos points!" Hidan held up two fingers, "and you, Blondie?"

"Um… well.. Gah… ahaha," he rubbed the back of his head nervously, "I haven't really thought of one yet."

"Well hurry it up, Blondie! We can't send you out into a sea of overly perfumed women without a nickname."

"Uh… well, maybe… I-"

"-Ru." Sasuke quietly added. "Your name will be Ru, Dobe." and walked off to the changing room leaving a confused blonde and a smirking Itachi.

"Ru it is then."

I'm sorry if the last part seemed a little rushed, but I was hitting my limit - so I thought that would be a good place to end it.

Now here's where the numbers come in! :D -throws confetti

(1) - A french pastry I googled (:

(2) - My little kit, do nothing so stupid as to hurt yourself again. Promise me.

(3) - I promise.

(4) - Good job.

Woot, that's out of the way. I'm doing a double update this week of this story... because I have like the first five chapters already typed out, so I'm being a little bit of a... um... speedy (?) updater and getting this out quicker. Mostly because I'm antsy T^T, but I'm toning it down so I can work on other stories. I think that's all that needs to be said... get's more humorful as time progresses.

Also, I googled what cosplay meant, just to refresh my memory. And I learned it was dressing up like a favorite anime character. For some reason I thought it was just dressing up in general, so for the future chapters I have regular dress up themes, but if you have any ideas of anime themes, or regular themes in general you'd like to see the characters go through... I'll be happy to incorporate them into the story (:.

So far I have, School, French Waiter (already used in this chapter) Gothic Lolli, Emo-Neko boy, Circus, Japense Kimono.

Review and tell me what you think (:.

Next Chapter: New Characters FTW

Summary: We meet the rest of the Akatsuki Cosplay Workers, and to say they're interesting would be the least of it.

~ Peace & Love - Fallen.~