Castiel P.O.V
I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, gripping me so tightly it was painful. My whole body immediately tensed, my heart started beating so hard I thought it was trying to escape my now bruised and swollen body. I am in so much pain, it's hard for me to sit down.
I tried to turn around to see who it was, but the person pulled me in for a tight bear hug. I tensed thinking that maybe Sam had come back. But then I relaxed. I suddenly realized who it was. I didn't have to look at his face, all the clues I needed was there. The way the person smelled, and the manner his arms felt around my broken body, was all the clues I needed. It was Dean. I winced from the pain Dean caused when he hugged me, but I am not willing to let Dean go. I need this moment and I desperately need Dean.
I felt like I was going to break down and burst into tears and the only thing holding me together was Dean. I couldn't hold it in anymore; tears streamed down my face, out of shame and fear of what had happened to me. It was my entire fault; I must have done something wrong. Why would Michael and Sam want to hurt me, if I had done nothing wrong?
If I told Dean what occur here tonight then maybe he will hurt me as well, after all who will believe me? I just want to die. I thought God wanted me to be happy but I was wrong. He killed Michael and made me think that it was a sign, that my childhood and upbringing was not my fault. I now know he only killed Michael to make me think it was over, for I can learn to be happy and be safe, only for it to be taken away. It was his plan all along, to hurt me by using my lover's brother to rape me. I must have done something so badly for God to hate and punish me like this. Tears kept falling down my face slowly leaving a wet patch on Dean's back. "I'm so s-s-orry Dean, you don't deserve a horrible lover like me," I whispered silently to my soul mate.
Dean P.O.V
"Cas, tell me what's wrong." I asked Cas wondering what had happened to make my angel this upset. He must have been is so much pain to call me, like he did. His voice gave himself away, he sounded as if he endured excruciating pain. Who had done this to my angel? Was it a demon? Could it be Crowley? He had hated Castiel and me, since we had started dating, or maybe it was an angel, who was disgusted with what Castiel had turned into. I had so many questions but no answers.
Castiel P.O.V
"Cas, tell me what's wrong." Dean asked me. I shook my head again and again; I could not tell Dean what had happened. He wouldn't believe me. What should I do? My life is ruined. If I state the truth and turn Sam in, Dean might think I was making it up as an excuse to break up with him. Or he could ignore me and do nothing because it is Sam. Dean would do anything for Sam. No, what would be worse is if he believes me and decides to leave, because why would he want damaged goods for a boyfriend?
"You like it, I know you do, my bitch," he said that I liked it, my brain was saying no but down their thought differently. What is wrong with me? I'm disgusting. I just want to die. "You are nothing. You are my slut you got what you deserved, don't you ever forget it. I am better than you and stronger than you. Today and every other day from now, whenever and wherever I like, I will make you my bitch. You got that?"
"Cas, please baby, tell me what's wrong. I'm begging you, you're making me worried." Maybe Dean felt like he was being ignored, because I was just standing here. I am in so much pain; I do not register Dean's words. I tried to sit down onto a chair, but my eyes watered as the pain rushed up my side as my bruised area touched the chair. I shot up to prevent myself from screaming in agony. Dean ran over to me, which was only a meter away from where he was standing. "What's wrong Castiel please tell me? I love you and it's breaking my heart watching you right now," Dean said as a tear escapes his eyes. He tried making the bed more comfortable for me to lie but when I do keep wincing from the pain.
"I'm watching you now my broken angel and you look so good naked," I felt so disgusting. I tried to move but then remembered the sign stopping my "mojo" as Dean would call it. I could not move, so it seemed I was stuck to this bed.
I closed my eyes; I remembered what had happened, I keep getting these flashbacks, which are killing me.
Dean P.O.V
"Castiel I love you, I will no matter what. Tell me what happened please… Please." It's out of character of me to beg but I need to know what is making my angel so upset. He's just sitting there doing nothing. I feel like shouting at him, I want him to tell me what was wrong. I was getting more and more worried every second. What worried me the most was how quiet Castiel is? "TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!" I shouted and demanded. Castiel looks so startled, and I instantly regret shouting at him. He started to cry even harder, oh my God what have I done? Castiel is fragile, I need to be more careful, and I need to be more patient, something I am not good at, but I will try for my Cas. I looked deep into Castiel's blue eyes, all I could see was pain, panic and terror. What could have possibly happen to the Angel of the Lord for him to be this frightened?
Castiel P.O.V
"TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!" Dean shouted at me. Why is Dean shouting at me? Did I do something wrong? I don't think I could live knowing Dean hated me too. I cried more at the thought of having my only love hating me, is it possible to cry this much? "I'm so sorry; I can't believe I shouted at you. Please baby, it's my fault for shouting. I love you. I would never intentionally hurt you." I looked into Dean's eyes for the first time since he came into this room. Dean had been crying. His eyes are red with tears falling down his face. Was he crying for me, he cares? I'm hurting him.
I know I should tell Dean what happened. I can't keep running away from the truth. I looked into Dean's eyes, I know that I can trust him; I know that Dean loves me as much as I love him, and he won't leave me. "I...was...rap...," I whispered so softy that Dean did not hear what I said. "Castiel, can you repeat that louder please? I looked Dean straight in the eye and said "Dean I was raped"...