Are you all still with me? For those that are interested - this is also posted on Fiction Pad.
When I was a child, my best friend, Johnnie and I did everything together. We would dig up worms and play in the dirt. We would play dress up; I as a princess and of course, he would be my prince charming.
The day I found out that I was different from Johnnie changed everything. Yeah, I knew he was a boy, and boys were supposedly gross, but when it came to Johnnie, none of that mattered. At least at one point in time it hadn't mattered.
We were nine and I thought it would be a good idea to play doctor. I had just gone to see mine and the memory was fresh on my mind. Thinking back to that day, I can't believe I had suggested something so stupid. That one suggestion changed my life forever.
Johnnie played the doctor. I told him what to do and he did it. When I stood before him naked, he told me I wasn't like him. He showed me what he meant, and that was the first time I saw a boy naked.
After that day, things were never the same between us. After that day, there never was an 'us' again.
DEMONS
I stood over the old, battered gravestone. Eighteen years had passed and the loss was still raw in my chest.
I knew why he died. I knew he died because of me. No one ever came out and said it was my fault, but I knew better. I knew it was my fault. I saw the way they looked, I saw the stares. Everyone hated me.
I ran my finger over the script that spelt out my best friend's name.
"I miss you, Johnnie."
I placed a kiss to the dirty, old gravestone, before leaving again for another year.
DEMONS
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth around me. It was like a warm summer day, yet it was still snowing outside. But in here, in here it was warm and bright.
My eyes opened and I knew I was in a place I had always wanted to be. I was with the well off. I was part of them now. I looked down at my clothes. No longer was I wearing clothes I had for years, but instead, a new, white summer dress.
I was what I had always wanted to be. As I looked around, the beauty turned dark. It turned into ruins, like everything I came into contact did. The harsh reality hit me; this wasn't real. This was just a dream. What I always wished for, I would never have.
DEMONS
I heard sounds. They were sounds I had only heard once before; when I had snuck into the hospital to see Johnnie.
My eyes fluttered open and the room was dark; cold, sterile.
"Ah, there you are my pretty girl."
My eyes snapped to where the sound was coming from. At least I had attempted to move them quickly, but I felt like I was made of mush and I could hardly move.
"Why are you here?" I choked out. Before me stood the man from the alley, Laurent.
"I'm here to take you home."
The click of his shoes as he walked away drowned out the rush of worry into my mind.
DEMONS
The snow fell around me. I plopped down and made a snow angel. Even at twenty-seven, I still wanted to relive being a kid.
When I was a kid, times were good. Far better than now.
The snow fell around me. Slowly, so very slowly I let myself get buried under the snow. The weight of the damp snow slowly felt like it would crush me.
No longer was the snow soft; no longer was it a comforting to me. Instead, it was trying to kill me.
DEMONS
"Come on, come back to us."
The pressing on my chest made me want to attack, but I couldn't move. I couldn't defend myself.
"One. Two. Three."
"Did anyone see what happened?" someone yelled.
I did, but I couldn't answer. The crushing weight on my chest had completely restrained me.
I fluttered away. Fluttered to where I would be safe. Where I would be home.
"Johnnie!" I yelled, running to my best friend. I tried to hug him, but he was gone. He disappeared.
"Bells, it's not your time."
I turned to look for him; his voice the same as it was when we were kids.
"It's been my time since you left me," I called out, spinning my body around, trying to find him.
"It wasn't your fault. I'm not your fault. Now go!"
I coughed, my body jerking back to reality.
My eyes fluttered and I swore I saw an angel before me.
"Johnnie, help me. Take me with you," I croaked.
"No, not Jonnie, but I'm going to get you some help. I'll take care of you."
DEMONS
Messy hair. Deep, forest green eyes. The gentle caress across my face.
"We've got you, beautiful." His voice just above a whisper. The other noises around us were far louder than him. Him…he looked like an angel.
His hands brushed the hair back from my face.
"Her breathing is shallow. Giving her oxygen. I wish we knew what happened to her."
There was a pause and he looked at me.
"Can you hear me?"
I wanted to open my mouth. I wanted to respond. I wanted to tell him to let me go. I wanted to tell him to let me die.
"Blink once for yes. Can you hear me?"
I willed my eye lids to move. His face went away, then it came back.
"Good. Do you know where you are? Blink once for yes. Two for no."
I forced my eye closed twice.
"You're in an ambulance. You're going to be okay. Are you in pain?"
I blinked once. I was always in pain.
His hand moved at my side a few moments before everything turned black.
Soon - I promise, everything with Bella will start to make sense.