Chapter 1: Cardiff
Ianto found himself easily settling into his position at Torchwood-3 in Cardiff. He did maintain their main Archives, which consisted of filing and keeping the inventory, but also sending a detailed monthly report of their contents back to the head office in London. He'd also taken over the coffee making duties after choking down the foul stuff that the others brewed. That, he'd soon found out, gave him job security over anything else he could or would do.
He rather enjoyed the much more relaxed atmosphere of the Cardiff branch, the freedom from having to wear a suit to the hub every day. His suits had been largely relegated to the back of his wardrobe, replaced by semi-casual trousers, jeans, jumpers and slightly-more casual shirts. With the rift a constant presence, Ianto didn't exactly maintain a regular schedule, but his mother was understanding and the Captain let him take the time he needed between crises, giving him the flexibility to see his mother to her treatments and be generally available to her.
The Captain wasn't quite what Ianto had expected from Yvonne's description and the general rumours he'd had of the man. Flamboyant, yes, and outrageously flirtatious, but Ianto found he was generally understanding, and he looked after his rather rag-tag team as best he could. Which included getting Ianto trained on various firearms and including him in the field missions when there wasn't anything (potentially) more dangerous than a Weevil.
Ianto had surprised himself with how well he'd managed to fit in and become a valued member of the team. He had helped Toshiko redesign the computer mainframe after an electrical storm had fried everything, proven to Owen that he had a more than rudimentary knowledge of emergency medicine (on more than one occasion), and helped Gwen connect the pieces in their various ongoing investigations. Jack had found him useful for tactical back-up in the situations where it wasn't necessary (read: safe) for Ianto to be deployed in the field, and they'd been quite a good team at disposals and cover-ups, with Jack's creativity and Ianto's attention to detail.
After a month in Cardiff, Ianto realized he was fairly happy, which he truly hadn't expected.
"Good morning, Captain," Ianto greeted his boss as he strode through the hub at 7:30. Early enough to get a start on the day before running out to take his mother to her chemo therapy and picking up the mail and morning tea while he was out.
Jack was sprawled on the couch tucked behind Tosh's workspace, tossing raw shrimp to the pterodactyl perched on a nearby railing. Braces hung down around his hips, charcoal trousers and blue shirt completing the Captain's standard uniform. "Ianto," Jack returned his greeting, lifting his bright blue eyes from the tub of raw seafood to Ianto's face. "How's your mom?"
"The doctors say she's responding well to the treatment, sir. Thanks for asking." He thumbed open the diary he'd retrieved from his desk in the front office, the faux tourist shop they maintained as a cover operation. "You have a call with Yvonne at 8:15," he reminded Jack.
Jack grimaced, tossing another shrimp in the air. "What does the old bat want this time?"
Ianto fought a grin at the description of his former boss. "She's getting ready to submit the budget requests, and wants to confirm the expense reports and our requests for the next fiscal year."
Jack brightened. "So, you should be talking to her then, instead of me!" he dropped the empty tub on the floor and bounced up off the couch.
Ianto fixed Jack with a look. "I'm not sure I can justify the expenses with a straight face, sir," he said dryly. One of the other tasks he'd taken on was much of the administrative paperwork that Jack let pile up. "I can't even begin to explain why we've gone through five cases of ultrasound gel in the last half-year, let alone why Owen insists on charging condoms to his expense account."
He almost laughed at the sheepish look on Jack's face. Ianto knew that the Captain only gave the expense reports a quick once-over before signing off on them.
"Right," Jack said, quickly recovering and flashing Ianto his bright, toothy grin. "I guess you're too pretty to throw to the wolves this early, anyway. I'll talk to Yvonne, just make sure that you have the reports handy for me to look at."
"Already done. Coffee?"
"Absolutely." Jack clapped Ianto on the back before stooping to pick up the empty tub he'd dropped and Ianto quickly averted his gaze, careful to not get caught admiring the way his boss' trousers pulled tight against his backside, leaving little doubt that the answer to 'boxers or briefs?' was 'neither.'
Ianto fled to the kitchen to start the coffee. He was comfortable with his sexuality, even if he didn't make a big thing of it, and he knew that Jack had no objections to lovers of either gender (or species, it seemed). They flirted, but Ianto wasn't sure he was ready for anything, be it a casual fling or anything more serious quite yet. It had been almost a year since Russ, and there was still a hollow place in his heart where his partner used to be. He suspected it would never truly be filled.
Still, he tried to convince himself. There was nothing wrong with admiring a gorgeous body. Just not at work, he told himself firmly, gathering the milk and sugar for Jack's cup. He poured both cups and carried them, the diary tucked neatly under his arm and against his body, to Jack's office so they could go over the rest of his day. He also had an email from one of his co-workers in London that was disconcerting. The Director was undertaking some kind of new project that was making people nervous, and Ianto thought Jack would want to know about it.
He was just settling into one of the chairs opposite Jack's desk when one of the proximity alarms sounded. It was going to be one of those days.
"Weevil," Jack said, rising. "Near one of the primary schools. Looks like it's you and me."
Ianto dialed his mobile with one hand, the other braced against the window of the SUV as Jack took a sharp turn at high speed. "Annaliese, it's Ianto," he spoke to Yvonne's latest assistant. "I need to reschedule that phone call for Jack. Weevil. Tomorrow would be fine. Thanks. You too." He was thrown against the door again as he rang off. He winced as his head connected with the window with a thud.
"Sorry," Jack muttered.
Ianto just shrugged and dialed again. He understood the urgency. Kids were easy pray for Weevils, and they needed to get there as soon as possible. "Hi, Mum," he said in Welsh. "I'm going to have to have Ellyn take you today. Something's come up at work. No, I'll call her. Love you, too." One more call and his mom had her transportation arranged for the day. He rang off with him mum's friend Ellyn just as Jack slammed them to a stop in front of the primary school.
He was thrown against the seatbelt, grunting a bit as it locked to keep him from hitting the dashboard. Ianto scrambled out after Jack, moving to the boot for weapons, anti-weevil spray, and hand-clamps while Jack used his wrist-band-thingy to scan the area. He tossed a canister of spray and a pair of clamps to Jack before tucking a handgun into his waistband and grabbing anti-weevil spray, a second pair of clamps for himself, and the tranquilizer gun.
The school grounds were quiet. Before they'd reached the vehicle in the Torchwood garage, Ianto had phoned ahead to the school, putting them on alert and asking them to put out a lockdown notice for the time being. Anyone on campus would be locked-down, those off campus would receive a text that they were not to approach the school grounds until an all clear was given. The system had been worked out in response to terrorist threats, but Ianto was glad for it all the same.
Ianto toggled his earpiece on as Jack gestured for him to go the opposite direction around one building. He crept along the wall, steadying his breathing and listening for anything.
Ianto he' s coming around your way, Jack's voice came through his earpiece. I'm right behind him.
At Jack's report he readied the spray, continuing his slow creep forward. He could hear the alien, clattering around the corner. Ianto steadied himself, sucking in a deep breath just as the weevil flew around the corner, panting and snarling.
He dodged a quick swipe of the creature's claws, getting off a blast of the anti-weevil spray that didn't seem to phase it at all. His second shot did, sending the weevil crashing to the ground with a wheezing whine, but not before catching Ianto across the belly. He winced and hissed as he leapt away from the animal as it collapsed, Jack rushing around the corner in pursuit, brandishing his own canister of spray.
Ianto helped Jack wrestle the writhing weevil down to the ground (the spray was incapacitating but painful), and shot a dart into the weevil's shoulder. It stopped struggling immediately as the tranquilizer took effect, allowing Jack to slap on the hand-clamps without risking being gutted. Ianto staggered back a step, blinking, as pain blossomed in his belly. He touched his stomach gently, frowning when his hand came away wet and streaked with red. His back hit the wall of the school building and he slid slowly to the ground.
"Ianto?" Jack looked up from the weevil. "Shit!" he leapt up, crossing to Ianto and kneeling at his side in a few long strides.
"I don't think the spray is working like it's supposed to, sir," Ianto said dryly, pressing his hand to his abdomen.
Jack snorted, prising Ianto's hand away. "Barely a scratch," Jack scoffed, probing gently at the three parallel slashes across his stomach before tearing long pieces off Ianto's ruined shirt.
"Tighter," Ianto said softly when Jack prepared to tie off the first of the makeshift bandages.
"It's going to hurt," Jack warned.
"Better pass out from pain than blood loss," Ianto managed a tight, wry smile.
"Your mother is going to kill me," Jack muttered as he did what he was told and tied the strips tighter.
Ianto gasped and probably went white, but he didn't faint.
"Owen?" Jack paged as he continued to tie off the strips. "Where are you? Good, stay there. We're on our way back in with a sedated weevil and a bleeding Archivist. Yes, he's talking me through it," Jack smiled at Ianto. "It's not like I haven't done emergency patch jobs before, Owen. 10 minutes, give or take. Fine." Jack tied off the last piece of Ianto's shirt, then struggled out of his coat and draped it over Ianto.
"Hang tight for just a minute," Jack said, cupping Ianto's cheek and looking into his eyes for a moment.
Ianto nodded tightly, breathing shallowly through the pain, but feeling less like he was bleeding to death. Jack dashed off and in a minute Ianto heard the SUV's engine roar to life and a heartbeat later (it seemed) it was slamming to a stop in front of him. The hatch over the boot lifted as Jack jumped out. The weevil was unceremoniously tossed into the boot, and Ianto found himself much more gently treated as Jack helped him stand and get him stretched out across the bench seat not surrounded by electronics.
He drifted on the short trip back to the hub, hearing Jack speak with Tosh to get the lockdown lifted at the school, but not really focusing on the words. Not until Owen's voice sounded in his ear.
You dead yet?
Ianto couldn't help but smile. Most days, Owen reminded him of Russ, in a good way, the same irreverent sense of humour and attitude towards their work and patients. Russ had been adored on the pediatric ward, because he hadn't treated his kids like kids, not sugar coating anything for them.
"'M still here," Ianto responded. He could feel blood seeping through the tight bandages on his stomach. "Bleeding."
Yeah, there's some kind of anticoagulant in the weevil secretions. Can you put any more pressure on the wounds?
Ianto grunted an affirmative, pressing his hand to his stomach as hard as he dared. He exhaled shakily, the wool of Jack's coat itchy against his bare chest, blood seeping into the heavy fabric. He hoped they had a good dry-cleaner to remove the stains.
He felt the vehicle come to a gentler stop than Ianto had ever experienced with Jack driving, and then hands carefully tugging him off the seat, onto something harder, colder. Ianto saw Owen's face blearily over him, felt a prick in his elbow, and faded into blessed darkness.
Consciousness returned gradually. Ianto heard familiar voices drifting around him, felt the tug of an i.v. line in his arm and the pleasant buzz of painkillers in his system. He floated for a while, listening to Tosh and Owen argue the merits of some video game or another, Gwen and Jack's laughter providing a nice counter-melody. He stirred a bit when he heard his phone ring nearby, the ringtone identifying his mother. He struggled towards consciousness.
"Hello, Ianto Jones' phone." Gwen answered his phone and he relaxed a bit, eyes fluttering open as she slid easily into Welsh (his mum did speak English, but she was often so tired from the chemo that she slipped back into her native tongue without realizing it). "Oh, no, he's okay," Gwen was saying. "Just a bit of an incident, is all."
Ianto looked around. Gwen was standing next to him, looking up at Jack on the catwalk above. Owen had seated himself on one of the steps leading into the autopsy bay/operating theatre and Tosh was leaned against the wall near him. He met Jack's gaze and was greeted with a bright grin and a nod, which sent Gwen spinning around to look down at him. He returned her smile tiredly. He shook his head slightly, not up to talking to his mum at the moment.
"No, no problem," Gwen said, patting his arm. "Hold on, just a tic." She covered the receiver of the phone. "Your mum's friend Ellyn had some kind of emergency. She needs a ride home."
"Uhm," Ianto tried to prod his brain into gear and remember who would be available. Normally, he'd pick her up and make the lunch run while he was out.
"I can do it," Jack spoke up. "Figure out what you want for lunch and I'll pick it up after I see Mrs Jones home. Gwen, why don't you come with me?"
Ianto nodded, digging up another exhausted smile. "Thanks," he said softly, letting his eyes close again.
"Mrs Jones, Captain Harkness and I will come get you, how about that? Oh, no it's really no trouble at all. We may even persuade the good Captain into a trip to the shops, if there's anything you need," she said, still speaking in Welsh.
Ianto chuffed a laugh. Gwen and his mother would get along well.
"Okay. We'll be there in a bit, then." Gwen snapped his phone closed. "Your mother is a doll."
"A doll who is going to kick my ass," Jack said. Ianto could hear the laughter in his voice. "How much do you want me to tell her?"
"The truth," he said, cracking his eyes open once more. "She understands."
"What?" Gwen looked back and forth between them, gaping, before Ianto chuckled tiredly and took pity on her.
"My mother has a higher security clearance than I do," he explained, taking stock of his body and deciding he could try to sit up. "She was with UNIT. Civilian consultant." He pushed himself up on his elbows.
"Don't even think about it," Owen scolded, approaching. "You'll rip out my stitches."
Ianto sighed, but relaxed back down on the table. "Anyway," he said to Gwen. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm sure she'd be willing to listen." Torchwood Cardiff was a close knit group, and Gwen actually managed to hold down something of a normal life, but he'd seen people in London self-destruct from not having anyone to talk to about the things they'd seen. He'd noticed Gwen struggling with that a bit, keeping her two lives balanced, unable to speak to her fiancée about her work, though Tosh seemed captivated by the wedding plans Gwen had a tendency to go on about. Ianto knew his mother missed aspects of her professional life, and would relish the chance to live vicariously through someone else.
Gwen bent and kissed his cheek. "Thanks," she whispered, squeezing his forearm again before skipping off to find her bag and jacket.
Ianto turned his attention to Jack.
"You sure you want to team them up like that?" he asked, a glint of mischief in his eyes.
"It was your idea to take Gwen with you. Besides, I think they'll be good for each other," Ianto answered. With his sister gone and a lack of female friends in his mum's life, he sometimes worried about her lack of general companionship. "Anyway," he grinned. "maybe it will take some of her attention off me for awhile."
Jack laughed.
The Captain had worked with Ianto's mum after Ianto had left for University. He hadn't realized before he'd transferred to Cardiff that the stories he'd had about Captain Harkness from his mother were thisCaptain Harkness.
"Alright," Owen grumped. "Go fetch lunch, would you? I'm starved." He waved Jack off and proceeded to lift the blanket covering Ianto's lower body.
The painkillers were still working. Ianto could feel Owen press around his wounds, but it didn't hurt.
"The cuts weren't deep," Owen said, "and they look to heal clean. You're on light duty until the stitches come out and you're going to bruise fairly easily for the next few days until the anti-coagulant works it's way out of your system, so be careful. No heavy lifting, no bending over to pick things up, nothing strenuous. Stay out of the pool, and keep the stitches covered when you wash."
"I know." Ianto let Owen help him move slowly to sit up, blanket pooling around his waist. He grinned at the catcall from the catwalk, Jack crossing over.
"Lunch orders?"
"Burgers and chips?" Owen suggested.
"We just had that," Tosh said, coming around the corner with a bundle of clothes. "How about Thai?" she dropped the bundle on the end of the table.
Owen nodded. "Gwen, Thai good for you?" he shouted. He shrugged at the inaudible response. "Sounds like Thai."
"What about Ianto's vote?" Tosh asked, setting down Ianto's spare shoes.
"Ianto's a human garbage disposer and doesn't get a vote," Owen said with a smirk.
Ianto shrugged. It was a fairly accurate description of his eating habits. "I'm not much hungry anyway, Tosh. But thanks."He rooted through the pile of clothes he realized were from his locker. Pants, jeans, tee-shirt and hoodie. Not what he'd normally wear to work, but at least it'd be comfortable. He slipped into the t-shirt while the others were placing their requests for lunch. A little stiff, it was difficult slipping into the pants and jeans himself, but he'd lost a lot of his modesty doing theatre in secondary school where tight spaces and quick changes had reinforced the idea of 'needs must.'
Jack was looking at him curiously when Ianto looked up. Ianto quirked an eyebrow, causing Jack to grin. "Lunch, Ianto?"
"Pad thai," Ianto stated. He could always take leftovers home for dinner. His mother wasn't eating much.
"Okay. We'll be back," Jack called over his shoulder. "Try not to destroy Cardiff while I'm gone!"
"Who is going to keep him from destroying it?" Tosh asked quietly with a wink, helping Ianto into his socks and hiking boots. He was going to need to dig out his loafers for the time being.
Ianto laughed.
"Hi, Marian," Jack greeted Mrs Jones, stooping to kiss her cheek. He gave her a quick once over, finding her gaunt and tired looking, a brightly colored scarf tied around her head that complemented the simple skirt and top combination she wore. "You're looking well."Her blue eyes still sparkled a bit, and there was no mistaking Ianto's lineage with those cheekbones.
"Liar," said with a smile. "But thank you. You haven't changed, I see."
Jack winked. He'd known Marian Jones since they'd worked together on a few projects in the late nineties. She'd seen him come back to life more than once, and he'd been right to trust her with that secret.
"Marian, I want you to meet Gwen Cooper. You spoke earlier," Jack indicated Gwen, standing next to him and smiling brightly. He understood Ianto's desire for them to meet. There was a lot of Marian in Gwen.
"Why don't you let us chat for a minute, dear boy, and go fetch me a wheelchair," Marian said with a grin, patting the chair next to her for Gwen.
"Yes, Ma'am," Jack answered cheekily. He ambled off towards the nurses' station, giving them both a few minutes to talk. He was sure Marian was pumping Gwen for information about Ianto and/or himself.
He hadn't met Marian until he'd been coordinating some rescue or other with UNIT and she'd been called in as a senior advisor. Her husband had recently passed away, her kids were all out of the house, and she was living through her work, something Jack desperately understood. They'd become easy companions, though Jack regretted not being able to spend more time with her. He had known of Ianto long before he'd met him, had known that he'd lost his partner. When he'd decided that his team needed a fifth member, he'd tried to see that word of it reached Ianto, indirectly, for Marian's sake, but also because he was quite intrigued by the young man.
So far, it seemed to be working out. He hadn't expected Ianto to fit in as easily as he had, but he'd slipped right in to the workings of the team and everyone truly seemed to get along with him. Jack also hadn't expected to be as attracted to the young Welsh native as he was, but there was at least some hint that the attraction was returned. Remembering that Ianto had recently lost his partner of six years, Jack was trying to reign in his more outgoing side and let things happen fairly naturally.
He was really glad Ianto hadn't insisted on wearing a suit every day. He wasn't sure his self-control would have extended quite so far.
Jack talked a nurse out of a wheelchair and made his way back to the ladies. They were talking softly, Gwen's dark hair tucked behind her ears and a wide grin on her face. She looked up at Jack's approach and burst out laughing. Jack pouted. They had definitely been talking about him.
"Your chariot, my lady," he sketched a bow. He held the chair while Gwen helped Marian stand and walk the few steps to the chair.
They'd gone a few paces before Marian spoke up. "So, Captain. When are you going to tell me what really happened to my youngest son?"
He dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "We had a Weevil loose at one of the primary schools this morning. He took a swipe across the belly. He's okay. Owen patched him up and he was up and moving when we left to come get you."
"He's a stubborn one, Jack," Marian warned.
"I wonder where he gets that from, then?" he teased. "I'll keep an eye on him," he said lightly.
Marian said something in Welsh that set Gwen giggling again. Jack smiled.
Gwen and Marian had chatted the whole drive back to the Jones' residence, mostly in Welsh, leaving Jack along with his thoughts. Not for the first time,
Jack cursed medicine of the twenty-first century as woefully inadequate as he watched them in the mirror. Marian was keeping up her end of the conversation, but she was visibly drooping. She may have been responding well to the treatments, but Jack knew that the treatments often weren't any better than the disease. Ianto had faith, however, in the doctor's prognosis, and Jack could only hope that he was right to believe in them.
Jack and Gwen saw Marian inside, Jack getting her settled in the loveseat placed near the window while Gwen put on a pot of tea. While the water came to a boil, Gwen wandered around the common room, gazing at the pictures of Marian and her family, picking up one of a smiling Ianto and another young man dressed in surgical scrubs. Jack managed to catch her eye and shake his head a little bit, and she placed a photo back on the mantel.
"Are you sure we can't get you anything else?" Gwen asked, setting a cuppa at Marian's elbow.
"No, my dear, thank you. You've done plenty. I'm just going to doze off here for a bit." She reached for Gwen's hand. "When I'm up and around a bit better, you and I need to have tea." She winked, a bit of her old sparkle returning.
"I would like that," Gwen answered, squeezing her hand gently.
Jack bent and kissed her cheek again.
"And you," Marian said. "You just stay out of trouble."
He tried to look innocent but Gwen just burst out laughing again. "I'll try."
"I'm going to go call ahead for lunch. Marian, it was very nice to meet you."
"You too, my dear." Marian smiled at Gwen and Jack silently praised her intuitiveness. "Ianto doesn't talk about him, does he?" she asked. "Russ."
"No," Jack answered, realizing Marian had seen Gwen with the photo. "He's very good about turning questions about his personal life back on everyone else, and no one forces it. Gwen might press a little, now," he admitted."But she's sensitive enough to know when to call it quits."
"She's a sweet girl," Marian agreed. "I'm happy he's fitting in here. It's been a rough year for him."
"Don't worry. We'll look after him," Jack said, knowing what Marian was trying to get at. They were a close bunch, the Cardiff branch of Torchwood, and very good at looking after their own.
She nodded. "You'd better go fetch lunch before you face a mutiny, Captain."
Jack laughed. "Yes ma'am."
"Mum?" Ianto called as he let himself in. He tossed his keys onto the table inside the hall. "I'm home!" He went through to the kitchen, sticking his barely-eaten lunch into the fridge and putting the kettle on to boil. He was tired and stiff, the stitched wounds beginning to ache as the painkillers wore off.
The afternoon had proceeded more or less as normal, trying to keep Jack on schedule for another conference call (UNIT) and getting him to do some of the paperwork that overdue to London. Ianto got the feeling Jack was being difficult on purpose, to keep Ianto more or less in his office, rather than up and around trying to defy Owen's orders by shifting boxes in the Archives.
They'd also found time to look at the report Ianto had received from London. Jack had been interested, but only so far as to ask Ianto to keep forwarding along similar reports. And to keep maintaining those contacts at Torchwood-1.
He found a bottle of ibuprofen in one of the kitchen cupboards and swallowed two pills dry. He wanted out of his boots, and into a hot shower, right after a cup of tea and chat with his mother.
"Mum?" he called again. He wandered out in the common room and smiled fondly, finding her dozing in what had become her favorite seat. She'd changed her clothes since the morning, into loose pants and long sleeved top, and discarded the scarves she used to cover her head in public.
Ianto retrieved her empty cup and went back into the kitchen, thankful that his mother had at last purchased an electric kettle so there was no shrieking whistle piercing the easy silence of the house. He methodically fixed two cups of tea, milk and one sugar for himself, two sugars for his mom.
He switched off the light with his elbow, carrying the two cups back to the lounge. He placed his mum's back at her elbow on the table and carried his to the couch, settling down with a quiet grunt before reaching for the television remote and switching on the news, quickly thumbing the volume down. Ianto listened idly, sipping his tea and contemplating how to get his boots off and whether or not there was any plastic film in the house.
"How was your day, love?" his mum asked.
He chuckled. "Oh, I've had better. Course, I've also had worse. How're you feeling?"
"I had a wonderful day. That Gwen Cooper is a sweet girl. I've invited her around for tea when I'm up and around a bit better. And it's always nice to see the Captain. I even got a bit of work done out in the garden this afternoon."
Ianto noticed her subtle dodge of the question but let it go. "That's great. Gwen was quite taken with you, as well." It seemed that he and Jack were of similar mind that Gwen and his mother would have hit it off. Ianto made a mental note to foster that relationship. "Have you heard from Toshiko lately?"
"Oh, yes," she said. "There was an email last week."
Tosh had been acquainted with his mum from her time with UNIT, and they kept in touch a bit, mostly in regards to new scientific developments that Tosh thought his mum might be interested in, but they also shared knitting patterns and gardening tips.
"Good." Ianto stifled a grunt as he lifted his feet to the coffee table, reducing the distance he had to bend to untie his laces.
"Ianto Jones, remove your feet from that table," his mum scolded.
"How else am I supposed to get my boots off?" he grumbled, but did as he was told.
"You could ask for help, silly boy." She rose from her chair and crossed to him, easing herself to the floor despite Ianto's spluttering protests. "How many stitches?" she asked, setting to work on the knots Tosh had put into his laces so they wouldn't come undone.
"Owen didn't say," Ianto replied. "It's not as bad as it looks," he said hurriedly, hoping to prevent her from actually lifting his shirt and looking. He'd had a look at the hub, and it was an ugly mess of dark bruises and stitches, thankfully small so the scarring would hopefully be minimal. "He'll be feeding me antibiotics for the next ten days and restricted me to light duty."
"Good to know one of you boys has some sense," she teased
"It's not like I wantedto be attacked by a Weevil this morning," he groused, earning a light laugh. "It wasn't exactly on the schedule for the day, though Jack's relieved he got out of a budget meeting with Yvonne."
"Sounds like Jack," his mum said, tugging free one of his shoes, followed by the sock. "I talked to him today."
"Yeah?" Somehow, he was sure he didn't like the sound of that. "About what?"
"He says you don't talk about yourself. That you're very good at turning personal questions back on everyone else," she said. "You don't talk about Russ."
Ianto let his head come to rest against the back of the couch. "Yeah," he said quietly. "It's just -" he took a breath. "They never knew him, and it's hard to talk about him to people that have no idea who he was. It's not that I don't want to share that part of my life with them, I just don't know how. And it's coming up on the anniversary, and some days it just hurts so fucking much that he's gone."
"I know it does, love." His mom patted his knee comfortingly, thankfully overlooking the cursing. " I remember when your father died. It does get better, when not everything reminds you of him, and you remember the good times."
"That's part of why I asked to transfer down here," Ianto admitted. "To get away from London and everything that just exuded Russ. It was stifling, seeing him everywhere I went, remembering all the places we used to go. It just hurt too much."
"And here I thought you moved home just for me," his mum said lightly, tugging free the other shoe and sock.
Ianto sat up slowly and kissed the top of his mum's head. "Mostly for you," he said softly. "Now, how are you going to get up? I've been banned from heavy lifting," he teased. She'd lost significant weight since the diagnosis and treatment, and she'd never been a large woman.
"Oi, you." His mom thwacked him lightly on the leg. "I can get myself up. You go get cleaned up and I"ll order takeway for dinner."
"No need," he said, pushing himself up carefully. "There's leftover pad thai in the fridge."
"Okay. Go on."
Ianto did as he was ordered, looking back from the hallway and watching his mum use the coffee table and couch as crutches to lever herself up off the floor. He hadn't necessarily needed to move home, he reflected as he slowly mounted the stairs to his room (after a detour to the kitchen for film to cover the stitches) and the shower. His mother was a strong woman who likely would have been able to look after herself. But he felt better being useful and available to her, and London held too many memories, good, bad, and bittersweet for him anymore.
He sagged against the bathroom door for a moment. The anniversary of Russ' death was a week away, and even before he'd transferred out of London, he'd never intended to be in town on that date. On the day his partner of six years had been killed in a car accident, senselessly taken from Ianto by a drunk driver, ripped away from his patients in the middle of the day as he'd stolen away from work for his lunch to see Ianto, home with the flu.
Two deep, shuddering breaths held the tears back. It had taken Ianto months to get over the guilt that had practically consumed him. He'd returned to work sooner than anyone had expected him to, needing to do something, anything, than sit around their flat and let guilt and memories consume him. Slowly he got back to his life, to pub quiz with Lisa and the gang from accounting, and the hospital rugby team that he and Russ had played on. It took him months to realize it wasn't his fault, that he'd had no control over the events, and that Russ wouldn't have wanted him to keep beating himself up over it.
And then his mother received the diagnosis of cancer and word of the open position in Cardiff had reached him. It seemed as if he had received a pretty clear sign of how he could truly respect Russ' memory and continue on with his life, by being available for his mom and escaping the crush of the city that held too many people, too many memories.
As he'd reflected that morning, Ianto again realized, turning on the taps to the shower, that for the first time in nearly a year, he was happy. He had friends, he was with his mom. He had a job that he enjoyed and was good at, and if he didn't have a partner or lover, that was okay. He wasn't alone, and that was what mattered.