Lee could barely keep his mind on work. His thoughts kept drifting back to Amanda and how angry she looked when she left his office earlier this afternoon. He picked up her note and reread it for the 1,000th time. Lee wished that he was the first one to say sorry. Why did Christmas have to be so difficult? For the past decade, at least, Lee had done what he thought was a good job at hiding the fact that he hated Christmas. He always got the people that were important in his life a gift for the holidays. So what if it was the same thing every year? Everyone can use a scarf! This year, he wanted things to be different. He wanted a real Christmas with presents under the tree and waking up on Christmas morning to a house full of hustle and bustle and exchanging gifts. He just didn't know where the road block in his mind was. He had every intention this morning of finishing the work day and heading home to go with the family to pick out a tree, but when Amanda mentioned it to him this afternoon, he froze. A deep, paralyzing fear struck him and all he wanted to do was run. It seemed so stupid now looking back at their argument. It was Amanda and Philip and Jamie-why was he afraid of them? Lee's mind began to wander and he tried to sort out his fears.
"Oh, daddy! Look at all the Christmas trees! Are they all for us?"
Matthew laughed and smiled at Lee.
"No, son. They aren't all for us. We are going to pick out one very special tree for our house. The other boys and girls with their mommies and daddies are going to also come here and chose a tree for their house."
"So Santa can come and leave them presents?"
"Yes, so Santa can come and leave them presents on Christmas Eve!"
"Mummy, did Santa come to your house when you were a little girl in England?"
"Oh, yes, darling! Santa would come every Christmas Eve and leave presents under the tree and candy in our stockings."
"Candy?" Lee's eyes widened at the thought of presents AND candy.
"What do you say we look for the perfect tree, Champ?"
"OK, Daddy! Let's look over there!"
Lee took off running to the first clump of trees. Jennifer and Matthew watched with delight as Lee was beside himself with joy. At that moment, Christmas had never been more meaningful.
"Shall we go catch up with our son, Mrs. Stetson?"
"Indeed, my darling. From the looks of it, he has already spotted the biggest tree on the lot!"
They walked hand in hand towards a very excited Lee.
Lee sat up, rubbed his eyes and nervously ran his hands through his hair. He tried not to think about his parents. It was too painful.
He picked up the file on the defecting Russians and safely locked it in the bottom drawer of his desk. There were no pressing matters to deal with on that case. He would divide up the defectors tomorrow and assign agents to do background checks on them all. Satisfied with that decision, Lee figured that it was time to head home and face the music. Lee grabbed his jacket and looked at his watch.
"Damn it!" he said aloud. "How did it get so late? Amanda is going to kill me! She said we were leaving at 5 sharp."
Lee ran out of the bullpen and got on the elevator. There was no way he was going to make it home by 5.
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Amanda struggled to open her eyes. She was very disoriented and didn't know where she was or how she got there. It was dark and cold. She knew she was in her car but all other details were fuzzy. She lifted her head from the steering wheel and managed to sit back in her seat. Her head hurt and she was sore all over. Slowly, she lifted her hand to her head. It was wet and sticky…blood she determined. How much she was bleeding she was uncertain. She turned on the car's interior lights to try and get a better look at herself in the rearview mirror. It hurt to move. She unbuckled her seatbelt and strained to get a better look at her injury. She had a big egg above her right eyebrow that had bled down her cheek and onto her neck. It slowly began to set in that she had been in a car accident. She had no memory of what happened. Last she remembered, it had been light out and now the sun had set. She was very cold and sore. Amanda leaned back and shut her eyes trying to make sense of what had happened. Suddenly, a panic struck her.
"The baby!" She screamed in her head.
She sat up quickly and grabbed her stomach. Amanda tried to assess her body and her injuries but the jolt of sitting up was too much. Her head throbbed even more as her vision began to go black.
"Lee…."she muttered as she passed out.
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Lee drove home as quickly as he could. Despite his best efforts and many traffic laws being broken, the best he could do was arrive home at 5:10pm. His heart sank as he pulled in the driveway and saw that Amanda's car wasn't there.
"Damn it! They left without me!"
Lee got out of the car and slammed the door. The first flakes of snow began to fall.
"Looks like old Dan was right for once" he said cursing the weather.
Lee pulled opened the kitchen door and was shocked to see Philip and Jamie staring him down.
"Guys, what are you doing here? I thought you and your mother left to go get a tree."
"Nope. We haven't seen mom since this morning. She was supposed to pick us up at school and never showed. We had to call grandma." Philip stated with a healthy dose of annoyance in his voice.
"Yeah and it was freezing out!" Jamie added.
"What do you mean you haven't seen your mother since this morning? She left hours ago to go pick you up. No note or anything here?"
"Nope, nothing. Not a word." Philip answered.
Lee's face dropped as a million different scenarios ran through his mind as to what could have happened to Amanda. He rushed past the boys practically pushing them out of his way so he could get to the phone. He picked up the receiver and quickly dialed.
"Francine? It's me….what time did Amanda leave IFF today?"
"About 2:30. Why?"
"She was supposed to pick up the boys at 4 and never made it and she's not home. No one has heard from her."
"What? OK Lee don't panic. Let me call the places she was supposed to drop off the files and see if she made it there. You call and see if she left any messages for you. I am sure there is a simple explanation."
"Ok, call me right back when you have some answers."
Lee hung up the phone and ran his hands through his hair. His jaw was clenched and his temple muscles were dancing.
"Is your grandmother still here?"
"Yeah, she's up stairs. Want me to go get her?" Jamie asked.
"Yes, please."
Jamie ran upstairs to get Dotty. Lee picked up the phone and dialed to see if Amanda had left any messages. Upon hearing that she had not called, Lee slammed down the phone.
"Damn it!"
"Lee, what's wrong?" Dotty asked in a concerned tone.
"Amanda was supposed to pick up the boys at school but never made it. I have no idea where she is. She was supposed to run some errands for work this afternoon and then pick up Philip and Jamie. No one knows where she is."
The phone began to ring. Lee grabbed it before it could ring twice.
"Amanda?"
"No, Lee. It's Francine. I checked the two places she was supposed to go and she made it to both of them. The last place said she left there about 3:30ish."
"Alright, give me the address and I will back track from there. I want you to put some people on this, too, Francine. Your best men."
"Lee, do you think that…."
"Yes, I do think that it is warranted and necessary so don't lecture me about protocol."
"I wasn't. I was going to see if you wanted Sam and me to help you look."
"Yes, that would be great. And before you go, see if there are any leads on anyone that has surfaced recently that might be looking for revenge."
"Ok, got it."
Dotty had ushered Philip out of the kitchen when the phone conversation began to get a little to agency oriented. He complied but was very curious as to why Lee was giving those orders to Francine. Lee began to pace back and forth in the kitchen.
"Lee, I am sure she's alright. This is not the first time she has not come home when expected, you know?"
"I know Dotty but she told me to make sure I was home by 5 because we were going out to get a tree. We even had a fight about it this afternoon. There is no way she wouldn't have not come home and not called unless there was something wrong."
"OK well let's try to remain calm."
Lee's eyes suddenly became full of fire and his temper flared.
"Calm? I don't want to remain calm! My wife is out there….my PREGNANT wife is out there somewhere and no one has a CLUE where to find her. She could be broken down, lost….hurt…..or worse. Not to mention that it is dark and freezing out there. Damn it!"
"What can I do?"
"Call Harry and explain the situation to him. Have him pull every favor he can to get some people out looking for Amanda. Give him this address and tell him she was last seen about 3:30. I am headed out there now to see what I can find out. Call me on my car phone when you hear something."
"OK, Lee. I will call Harry right now. It will be ok. We'll find her. She'll be ok."
Lee stormed out of the house and jumped into the Corvette. Peeling out of the driveway, he sped down the street to Amanda's last known where abouts. The snow was falling ever so lightly, melting as it hit the road. The car's headlights cut into the darkness as Lee scanned the road ahead.
"Where are you, Amanda? Damn it, where are you?"
The car phone rang startling Lee.
"Stetson."
"Lee, there is nothing new that has turned up on any of the bad guys. No new threats and no prison releases with anyone that you or Amanda have had interactions with within the last 7-years. It doesn't look like this is agency related, at least not from what I can see."
"I am not sure if that is good news or not, Francine. If someone took her, chances are that we would hear from them and I would be able to go get her. If there was no kidnapping, then where the hell is she?"
"I don't know but I already called Sam. He is picking me up and we are heading out to look. She is in her car, right?"
"Yeah, the Wagoneer. Call me the MINUTE you find something."
"I will."
Lee hung up the phone with Francine more frustrated than before: so much so that he failed to notice the soft glow that the headlights were emitting from the embankment as he sped past where Amanda's car lay.
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"Amanda? Amanda, darling? You need to wake up. Open your eyes."
Amanda could hear an unfamiliar woman's voice speaking to her as she sat in the freezing cold car. She understood what the voice was asking her to do but she found its request so overwhelmingly difficult.
"Lee?" she questioned.
"No, dear. It's not Lee. Open your eyes! You need to try and stay awake. You gave yourself a big bump on the noggin."
Amanda struggled to open her eyes. Her head was still pounding and her vision was still very blurry. She ran her hands over her abdomen and felt the small protruding baby bump. There was no pain in the stomach and there didn't seem to be any bleeding. She hoped and prayed that the baby would be ok.
"Your baby is ok for now, Amanda. But we need to keep you awake and get you some help."
"Where is Lee?" She managed to say with much difficulty.
"If I know him, he's on his way right now. He loves you so, you know. I am so thankful that the two of you found each other."
"You know my Lee?"
"Oh yes….I know him. Not nearly in the way that I had always dreamed of knowing him, but never the less, I know him."
Amanda closed her eyes again and began to give into the urge to sleep, her body shivering from the cold.
"Amanda! Wake up! You need to stay awake!"
"I can't…..I am so…..tired…so cold"
"Don't give up, Amanda! Lee is out looking for you now. You need to be awake so you can help him find you."
"You help me?"
"I am helping the only way that I can, dear."
"Deer? Two deer….in road."
"Yes, that's right. What else do you remember?"
Amanda didn't answer.
"Amanda? Tell me what else you remember from today."
"Fight with Lee about…..Christmas Tree…"
"Christmas Trees still have a way of churning up the excitement in Lee."
"Lee hates Christmas."
"Oh well, he didn't always. In fact I remember quite well when he was four and helped pick out the Christmas Tree. He was so excited to get the tree of his choosing. And then when he decorated it…well his favorite ornament was a sheriff's badge his father bought for him. He placed it so carefully on the tree. He looked at it every day until we had to take the tree down after Christmas. Lee loved to play cowboy and said someday he was going to be a sheriff."
Amanda smiled…
"He is a sheriff…"
Her eyes began to feel heavy and shut again.
"Please wake up dear. Lee will be here soon but you need to be awake so he can find you."
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Lee found no new leads after visiting the file clerk that Amanda had met with earlier this afternoon. He surmised that the next place she would have headed was to pick up Philip and Jamie. He sped along the road headed back to Arlington. The fight of this morning began to replay in his mind.
"You all set for our great Christmas Tree hunt tonight?"
"Uh, Amanda….why don't you and the boys just go?"
"Why? You told the boys that you were excited to go pick out a tree with them, Lee. What's the problem?"
"I just think it would be more fun if the three of you went."
"More fun or easier on you?"
"Both actually."
"No, we are all going to go as a family to pick out our tree. You're not backing out, Lee. You'll break Philip and Jamie's heart. Besides, it is a lot of fun to see Christmas through their eyes. Plus I think it will be good for you, too."
"It just seems to have come up all of a sudden…..Christmas, getting a tree. Do we have to go tonight? Can't it wait?"
"Lee, I can't believe we are fighting about this! It's almost the middle of December! What did you THINK was going to happen?"
"Why am I the one that is wrong in this case? Can't you even TRY to see it from my side?"
"Do you really think that I am not considering your feelings at all in this situation? Of course I am thinking about your feelings. But I also know that you are the master of avoiding things that bring up difficult emotions and you are NOT going to avoid it this year! I understand that this is a hard time of year for you but it is time that you started building some happy memories associated with Christmas You are part of a family now, Lee. We all love you very much and will be there for your personal struggles with the holidays. But like it or not, we are going to the Christmas Tree lot, TONIGHT, and we are picking out a tree. You have already promised the boys and they are so looking forward to it, so don't even think of trying to weasel your way out of it!"
"Amanda, it's just a tree. Why can't you and the boys go get it without me?"
"Because, Lee! As I JUST finished saying…..YOU promised the boys that you would go and they really, really want to go with you. We are ALL going. Period!"
"Amanda! You just don't understand!"
"You're right! I don't! Because you will never talk to me about it. You change the subject or get mad at me. And if you continue to be mad at me, that's fine but I am not letting you hurt Jamie and Philip in the process. I have to go upstairs, meet with Francine and then go drop off some files across town before I pick up the boys so I will meet you at home…5 o'clock. Sharp. Weatherman said it was supposed to flurry tonight so don't be late."
Lee crossed over into Arlington with no sign of Amanda anywhere. As Lee maneuvered around the treacherous curve, Lee found himself staring into the eyes of a huge doe standing in the middle of the road. He swerved and was able to pull the car safely to the side of the road. The deer looked at him and bounded down the embankment towards Amanda's car. Lee got out of the car and screamed into the night out of fear and frustration. He picked up the closest rock he could find and threw it in the direction of the deer. The rock sailed down the embankment out of site, hitting something metal before it came to rest.
"Amanda, darling…there he is. There's Lee. You must give him a signal before he moves on. Honk the horn, Amanda. Honk the horn."
Amanda looked at the steering wheel with blurry vision and used all her might to honk the car's horn. Two small chirps came from beneath the car's hood. It was the best she could do.
"That should do it, Amanda. I have to be going now. Take care of my Lee and my grandchild."
"Who are you?" Amanda said still in a haze.
"You can call me Jenny."
Lee heard the chirps coming from the direction where the rock had hit. He ran across the road and looked down the hill. He could see the soft glow from the headlights that were being lit by a dying battery.
"Amanda! Hang on, Amanda! I'm coming!"
To be continued…