Chapter One: If you're lost, homeless people know the streets best, don't be shy and ask!
A/N: I'm sooo sorrrryyy~... I had this already done when I posted the 1st chapter but I wanted to make a schedule and keep with it for once! I also promised myself that I won't post any chapter until I have at least a few pages of text about what's happening next already written and yes, it means that I have the next chapter(s) done but it still needs a little (*cough* a lot *cough*) edit so I'm not posting it yet and also I'm trying to be professional with this story (key word: trying) and that means double and triple checking because English is not my native language and mistakes happen. Oh and while I'm at that, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY FOR ALL THE MISTAKES THAT APPEARED IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER AND THAT WILL APPEAR IN THIS AND THE NEXT ONES. That being said, on with the story! Hope you enjoy! ^^
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama because if I did it would be a disaster. All rights belong to Sorachi-sensei.
It was the day. The day Kagura would go to some far away country to marry some guy that she'd never heard of before; or rather, as she'd liked to optimistically think about it, the day she would escape from this damned bloody palace. And of course she had no intention of marrying anyone either. She'd already planned everything. As soon as she got to the other side of the boarder she would somehow get away from her escort. She figured that the best time would be after the Yato clansmen that were assigned to keep her company would leave and just before the other country's emissaries would arrive, guard, police or whoever the shit they were. She would be long gone before she'd had any chance of getting to know it. She would be free.
The only thing that was yet to be done was figuring out what would she do after she'd escape but whenever she started to dwell a little deeper into that matter she'd got a terrible headache so she decided to just go with the flow and not think too much about it. When the time came she would know what to do, or so she thought.
The harsh reality was however quite different. Things didn't go as smoothly as they were supposed to. After barely escaping from angry and quite desperate, she noted, policemen that were sent to pick her up she was currently panting like a rabid dog in the middle of nowhere, with the unpleasant sensation in her pit and a little voice telling her that she'd screwed up a big time. Not only did they know how she looked now, so they would have very little problems with finding her, but also she had no friggin' idea where the hell she was. Oh joy. She needed to do something. Anything, seriously.
Then it stroke her; she would just ask somebody about her location and how could she get to, somewhere far away from cops, she didn't quite know where that place was, but that was okay, she would just ask. Brilliant! Why was she even worried, of course she would be fine, after all, she was the queen Kagura! Well, not exactly the queen but princess of a decaying country didn't sound as proudly and gloriously, so she would go with the queen. It didn't really matter, aristocracy was aristocracy.
As soon as she decided on that idea she spotted a poorly looking man in his thirties and came closer to him. He would be perfect, homeless guys knew streets the best. She eyed him critically from head to toe: worn out brown clothes, sunglasses even though it wasn't really sunny, untidy hair that probably haven't seen shampoo for way longer than healthy and a cardbox as a bed/house/coat/whatever, everything completed with the dark, gloomy aura of misery. Yep, definitely homeless. He probably was abandoned by his wife and lost all his money in the casino that good for nothing old man(MAru de DAme na Ossan)! She thought, In short MADAO .
"Oi you MADAO tell me how do I get away from cops" she demanded with a gangster-like look
"Huh? What? Are you talking to me, missy?" he looked up making the aura of hopelessness spread even more
"Yeah, you! Good for nothing old man! You should be thankful to me for giving you a chance to be good for something at least once in your life" she told him and laughed out loud "Be thankful to your queen!"
"Eh, queen..?"
Sougo was strolling down the street, heading to his favorite place in the park for a nap. When suddenly he heard some yelling. He would surely ignore it, were it not interfering with his sleep. He decided to be a good policeman and quiet whoever was causing this racket down. And it had nothing to do with him not being able to sleep in such noise.
What he saw however, was a rather unusual view: a young girl shaking violently the resident homeless of kabuki-cho park and yelling some curses at him. Oh well, he thought, she could have been quieter and fired his bazooka aiming straight for their heads.
A loud bang reaped the not-so-peaceful scenery of the Edo city and the air was clouded with puffs of dark smoke. But before the reek had any chance of dispelling a series of bullets was sent Sougo's way missing by only a scratch. What the… he thought while instinctively taking the battle stance.
In the place where formerly stood MADAO with the girl there was now a great hole and the poor man was lying unconscious on the ground. The girl however, he noted, was standing unscathed with a purple umbrella aiming directly at him and firing another series of bullets with the said object. This day was definitely turning interesting.
"What the hell were you doing?! You idiot! You could've killed me!" she screeched "Sadist! You're a complete sadist!"
"Che. I've missed" he mumbled but apparently it was loud enough for her to hear as she started rambling on about something and insulting him with curses that were worthy of the dirtiest-mouthed trooper. "Oi. China girl stop shit talking me or I will have to arrest you for offending the authorities."
"Authorities? You?! Don't make me laugh, you sadistic brat!" she snorted "I am the authority here! Go and bow to your queen!"
He observed as she started laughing, apparently thinking that she was very funny.
"Please, girlie" he said "You're one hundred years to young and too flat to be queen" he deadpanned quite enjoying the sudden changes of her face from extremely contented to unsure to enlightened to angry and furious
"I'm gonna kill you, you fucking brat!" she yelled and charged at him with full speed.
Half of an hour later Sougo found himself in rather unsettling situation with a few of his ribs broken and his arms bruised, panting heavily and coughing blood. His opponent, the little China girl, who with a closer look was probably older than he gave her credit for, was in an equally bad condition. To add to it there was a crowd of onlookers gathering around them probably drawn by an unusual, at this hour, fight. People of Edo were used to the infamous first division sadistic captain of the shinsengumi destroying public property and shooting at some unfortunate bystanders from times to times, but to see him engaged in such a vivid fight for so long of a time was rare. And what was even rarer was seeing him actually losing to someone in the fight. Now, to be exact it wasn't as if he was completely losing to this China girl but still, he wasn't dominating the fight either. And this tickled him off.
However as much as he was pissed off by that china monster of a girl he was also having quite fun, enjoying the fight that ensued from their unexpected meeting. The girl was something, but he would never admit it, for some reason he'd rather die than tell her a compliment.
"Oi, China aren't you getting tired already?" he asked spitting a mixture of blood and saliva
"In your dreams you fucktard!" she hollered and shot another series of bullets which accidentally might or might've not hit the spectators making them successfully retreat and observe the fight from much farther and hopefully safer position, leaving the two hostile individuals in a comparative solitude.
Sougo smacked his lips with disapproval as he managed to land another hit on the girl "It's rude to lie, I can clearly see you're getting weaker. Lying to the policeman China? That's no good I'll have to add that to your already long list of crimes"
"You? A policeman?" she snickered "There's no way-" she couldn't end her sentence as she suddenly tripped and fell down with a loud thud. She yelped a short "ouch" and grabbed her ankle which started to swell at a frightful speed.
Sougo who was just about to cut her with his sword, stopped in midair and looked at her in bewilderment. He stared and stared and then started laughing out loud "Bhahaha I can't believe you immobilized yourself like that! What an idiot! Hahah-"
"Shut up, you sadist!" she cried "it's all your fault for making me distracted with your filthy lies! I bet it was your plan from the beginning because you knew you could've never defeated me in million years!" she proclaimed pointing a finger at him
Meanwhile Sougo finally stiffened his laughter and managed to put on his usual look of indifference.
"What lies China? I AM the policeman" he said showing his emblem "Wouldn't that be obvious by my uniform already? You're seriously stupid. - Here, let me see that leg- you just have to…" and then before she had any chance of reacting he bend it one way, which unfortunately turned out to be the wrong one as Kagura let out a shriek of pain instinctively smacking the closest thing that just by luck turned out to be Sougo himself.
"Ow, you bitch!" he growled "I think you've just broken me another rib!"
"You deserve it for hurting me like that!" she replied sticking her tongue out while saying something incoherent that sounded awfully like 'idiot—!'
"I guess there's no choice then..." he said and turned around "see ya later China!" and he went his way ignoring her yells. Call him crude, but hey, he was a prince of sadists and had no intention to deal with that monster girl any longer. For all he cared she could die on this road.
"Don't give me that "no choice then" you shithead! Go back and help me, motherfucker! Oi, go back! OIIII!" Kagura screamed at the top of her lungs grabbing a fistful of dirt and throwing it in frustration
"I hate that damned brat" she muttered angrily "leaving a girl like that… what the fuck is wrong with him?"
But what am I supposed to do now, she pondered, I clearly can't walk with an ankle like that, ahh! Be cursed you damned sadist!
Sitting on the ground with no better thing to do she started wondering about what had happened that day and whatever the hell else was yet to happen. Since she came to this country it was one craze of a day, first running away from those cops, her guardians-to-be, that she deliberately ditched then her lovely talk with MADAO and the fight with that sadistic brat. Now that she thought about it he really might've been a cop, as his uniform was delusively similar to the ones those poor bastards assigned to take care of her had. But then why did he not try to capture her and bring her to that lord or whoever the hell was she supposed to marry? Maybe he didn't know about it, she wondered, he probably was someone unimportant so there was no way for him to know about such an important matter as princess coming to their little country. Wait, was it really little? She had no idea and... what was it called again? Oh well, doesn't matter. She was a princess not a geographer! To hell with it!
Her train of thoughts was suddenly broken with the appearance of three black uniform clad men, yelling something like "there she is!" and "wait but is it really her? Why is she sitting on the ground?", "idiot of course it's the princess, look at her bloody red hair!"
She suddenly felt angered by this. All her effort to run away from them, going to waste, just because of some sadistic low-ranked brat twisting her ankle. Oh, great. She sighed, at least she would get away from this humiliating position of a beaten dog, sitting on the ground, unable to stand up. And maybe they had some good food. She was kind of getting hungry.
A/N: Did you like it? If you've found any mistakes please do tell me about it. Leave me a review because that's what gives a true strength. Reviews. Really, I'm not picky, short ones, long ones, I'm glad receiving each and every one of them with my poor writing skills. That's the only thing I need to happiness. And as for those who already left me those amazing reviews that sent me on the cloud nine for the whole day and a half: THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are my motivation to write this story faster I hope you still like it!