A/N:You guys blew me away last chapter. Just blew me away. I can't tell you how much your kind words mean to me.
At a reader's suggestion, I'll be including some vocabulary words at the beginnings of chapters from now on. Definitions are the product of random internet searches and my own knowledge. You can skip over them if you don't care about that sort of thing. They won't affect the plot.
As always, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I, however, am the proud owner of a B.S. in Physics. (Seriously. For all the good it's doing me...)
StringTheory:One of several competing theories currently being explored by physicists to try to unify the fields of quantum mechanics (which governs the very, very small) and general relativity (which governs planets and galaxies). Proposes that the tiniest particles in the universe are made up of even tinier vibrating strings. Implies the existence of multiple hidden dimensions in space and time, and the possibility of infinite parallel realities.
It's also just pretty damn cool, if you ask me.
2
"Hey, Edward. How's it going?"
I look over at Jasper as I set my backpack down beside my desk. He's sitting with his chair tipped nearly all the way back, and there's mischief to his eyes.
"Fiiiine," I reply, hesitant. "You?"
"Awesome." He flicks his gaze around the office, then slams his chair down so it's back on all four legs. Leaning in, he cups his hand around his mouth to whisper, conspiratorially, "I got laid last night."
I hope all the fire extinguishers in the lab are up to code. Because my face just burst into flame.
"Good for you," I mumble, refusing to look at him as I pull out my own chair and wiggle my mouse.
"Aw, don't be like that."
"Like what?"
Like a twenty-three year-old virgin, that's what.
"Acting all embarrassed and everything. I mean, I haven't even told you what this chick did with her tongue yet."
It's all I can do not to plug my fingers in my ears and start singing. "Please. Don't."
"Ugh. Fine. Maybe Emmett will be more interested when he gets in."
I give up and slam my forehead against the desk. I leave it there and moan quietly to myself.
It's not that I don't want to talk about sex. I just have nothing to add.
Nothing.
Like, nothingnothing.
And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of hearing about how it feels and about how great of a time everybody else is having. Everybody except me.
Aaaaand…great. Even just a half minute conversation about sex and I'm hard.
By the time I calm myself down and disconnect my forehead from the formica, Jasper's more or less gone back to whatever he was working on before. Well, at least that's something. He's no longer paying attention to me.
For two years now, we've been sharing this office. As graduate students working for the same professor, Jasper and I should have plenty in common, but it's never worked out that way. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever understand him. He comes in at weird hours. Skips classes. Spends his free time doing wildly inappropriate things. And I swear I never see him actually do any work. But come time for group meeting, he's always got something new and brilliant to share. Meanwhile, here I am, banging my head (sometimes literally) against the same damn set of simulations I was when I first got here, and nothing.
Nothing.
Story of my life, apparently.
Only, with qualifier exams coming up in a month, even if I never have sex, if I don't fix my research soon, I am definitely, definitely going to be screwed.
Emmett stumbles in an hour or so later, dark shades covering his eyes. For a second, I let myself hope that his obvious hangover will keep Jasper from trying to make conversation, but I know Jasper would never be so easily deterred. Sure enough, as Emmett settles into his desk back behind the bookshelf, Jasper turns and begins to regale him with his own adventures of the previous night. Wanting nothing more than to escape, I steal a peek at the clock in the corner of my screen.
Shit.Ten fifteen.
I'm out of my chair in a heartbeat. "I'm going for…"
Jasper interrupts me. "Coffee, we know."
Whatever. Assholes.
As an afterthought, I call over my shoulder, "Either of you want anything?"
"For you to finally just fucking talk to her already. If you drink any more coffee I think you're going to vibrate right out of your chair."
Emmett lets loose a deep guffaw. And there I go, needing the fire extinguisher again. But I still can't help but smile.
Taking courage from their expressions of surprise, I hold my head high and pause dramatically at the door. "You know what? Today…today I just might."
#
My shoulders slump the minute I make it to the break room. It's empty. I'm late. And considering it's Friday, all my resolve is wasted; I'll never find the nerve again come Monday. I'll just be the same old me again, pathetically stalking a girl who doesn't even know I exist, making lists of facts that carry nothing of her substance. Incapable of just fucking talking to her. Like usual.
As I stand there, feeling like an idiot, another weekend spent working and hiding behind my computer screen spreads out before me. It's how I've always preferred things, honestly. But sometimes – times like now – I can't help but admit that it's lonely.
And it's not as if it looks good from the outside.
Maybe it's just as well I've never talked to her. She'd probably pity me.
I sigh and lean against the doorjamb for a minute. I should probably slink back to my office, but after all my bravado, the idea of facing Jasper and Emmett again chafes too much.
Sucking in a deep breath, I ready myself to do so anyway when something slams against my back. I stumble forward, reaching out blindly to try to catch my balance, and I curse out loud.
But my curse isn't the only one.
"Oh, shit. Sorry!"
I know that voice.
A touch lingers against the base of my spine for the smallest fraction of a second, and I feel it everywhere. Her touch.
With my heart in my throat, my head swimming, I turn to find only pale skin and deep brown eyes. Rose lips.
Today's the day, a voice reminds me. Today's the day.
It must be.
And as it turns out, I didn't even have to do anything.
Bella Swan just talked to me.