Greagoir, Cullen, Carroll, and Bran stood in darkened corner of the central room watching the stairs coming down from the Templar quarters. "Are you sure?" Greagoir whispered irritably. "We've been her for hours and nothing."
Cullen sighed deeply. "She said tonight unless someone overheard us and warned him."
Greagoir glowered deadly at him but it was a lost cause since it was so dark he couldn't see him. "How about I just go drag…" He trailed off when they heard the sound of quiet footsteps coming down the steps.
The candle light glowed eerily over Malick's face as he quietly made his way across the central room to the hallway leading to the mages quarters.
"We have to wait." Cullen ordered when Greagoir took a step. "He'll hear us coming."
"I don't care." He growled. "He's breaking the rules already."
"Yes and it's a rule that won't merit dismissal or imprisonment." Carroll supplied from behind him.
"I agree sir." Bran added as he moved to flank Greagoir.
Greagoir ground his teeth sharply. This went against everything he understood and everything he was as a Knight Commander. "How much longer?" He demanded growing antsy.
"I think we can make our move now." Cullen nodded and as quietly as possible began heading for Zaniah's room.
As they drew closer to Zaniah's room they could barely hear Malick's voice issuing commands. Greagoir's hand went straight to the hilt of his sword when he heard the words bend over ordered by the bastard's mouth. He was going to run him through and rip out his insides. After he took care of this mess he was going to move Zaniah upstairs into the room next to his and do some rearranging of who was living where. Then he was going to weed out the guard doing some thorough performance reviews and show them all who was in control here.
He kicked the door open and instantly became blood red with rage at what he saw. He really didn't think he could contain himself and had not Cullen grabbed him and held him back he would have surely dismembered Malick on the spot.
Zaniah jerked her cloak back down and covered herself with a whimper before running and hiding inside her wardrobe.
"Sir!" Malick spun around, eyes wide, as he pulled his robe closed. "I… uh… I'm just…" He stumbled trying to come up with an excuse.
"Take him away." Cullen nodded at his fellow Templars. "Before the Knight Commander does something we'll all regret."
"Right." Carroll nodded. "Off to the dungeon with you." He walked over to Malick as Bran moved to stand on the other side of him. "We made sure the rats haven't for a few days so they might be hungry." He shoved Malick towards the door.
"He is to be guarded day and night until I see fit to deal with him myself." Greagoir growled through clenched teeth while still clenching the hilt of his sword in a white knuckle grip. "Only give him what he needs to keep alive."
"Yes sir." Bran bowed his head as they walked out the door with Carroll in the lead.
"Sir." Cullen drew his attention. "Zaniah."
Greagoir released his grip on his sword and quickly moved to the wardrobe. "Zaniah." The doors flew open causing him to take a step back before her little form was attached to his chest sobbing heavily.
"It's okay." He reassured as he wrapped his arms around her. "He'll never hurt you or anyone else ever again I swear it."
Cullen watched the scene and his heart clenched at her pain. He only wished he could have saved her before this ever started happening. However he was glad that they were at least able to finally bring this all to an end. "I'll take my leave." He placed his fist to his chest and bowed. "Be well Zaniah." He whispered as he rose back up to his full height.
Greagoir looked over at him. "I need you to take guard duty on her door and I'll have Carroll relieve you when he returns."
"As you wi…" He started with another bow but was cut off by Zaniah.
"No." She looked up at Greagoir and shook her head.
"You don't want him guarding your door?" Greagoir looked down at her shocked. "I can assure you he won't bring you any harm."
"I want him to stay," she looked over at the Templar in question then back up at Greagoir. "in here."
"No." Greagoir ordered as he stared hard at her. "That's inappropriate behavior."
"Then you stay in here with me." She pleaded and sniffed through her tears. "I don't want to be alone."
He didn't know what to do. He wanted to stay and comfort her but on the other hand he wanted to gut that bastard for doing this to her.
"Sir if I may," Cullen nodded at him. "I think you should stay with her she needs you now more than ever and I doubt Malick is going to be going anywhere."
Greagoir sighed deeply and nodded. "You're right. Though I'd rather be down there showing him what happens to those who do this under my guard."
Cullen nearly smirked at that but bowed his head instead. "I'll take up watch outside if you need me." He bowed again and exited the room.
Greagoir watched him leave then looked down at the girl still attached to his chest. "Why Zaniah? Why didn't you tell me?"
She shook her head against the metal of his breast plate. "If he found out…" She trailed off and clutched tighter to him. "And the others, I didn't know." She sobbed.
"I know." He tried to comfort. This was not his thing he was a soldier first, a Knight Commander second, and this father last. If only there was a woman in this tower that Zaniah trusted or cared about but she didn't. Actually now that he thought about it Zaniah didn't even have a single female friend. If only the Chantry would let her go so she could go out and live a normal life of her own.
However it wasn't likely they were going to ever give up on trying to sort out what she really was so she was stuck here. "Tomorrow you're moving upstairs where I can watch you better. Which is exactly what I should have done a long time ago." He growled.
She pulled back, pushed her hood completely off her head, and stared up at him. "No."
"It's not up for debate." He growled as he stared down at her then wiped the tears from her cheek. "This is the second time I know of," he narrowed his eyes deeply. "that someone is hurting you. It ends now Zaniah and if there's anyone else doing anything to you tell me now." His eyes narrowed even further when she looked away from him. "Who." He demanded as he grabbed her by the chin forcing her to look up at him. "I will not tolerate this kind of behavior under my command. Now tell me who so I can put a stop to it once and for all."
Thick tears spilled from the corner of her eyes as she stared up at him. "Templar Calvin and Uldred." She shuddered like the mage was right behind her but she knew he wasn't.
"I'll take care of Calvin as for Uldred," he gnashed his teeth. "he left to assist the King's army. However once he returns I will make sure he's sent to Aeonar when he gets back." He stared down at her and drew his brows. "What has Uldred done to you? He's not the rapist type."
She flinched like the mage was about to zap her where she stood and gripped his armor tighter. "He's trying to possess me, turn me into a demon." She frowned as a new wave of tears washed over her. "My powers he wants them so he can't be turned tranquil and still control the demons through controlling other mages. He uses his magic on me," she stared up at him wide eyed and afraid. "blood magic."
"Why have you never said anything about him?" He growled.
"I did, to Irving." She nodded.
"And?"
"He said he'd investigate it." She laid her head against his chest. "That was three months ago. I don't think he believed me."
He wanted to kill something or someone so bad he was nearly shaking with the rage of it all. Each and everyone of them were going to pay for this, no one hurt anything be it mage, Templar, or otherwise under his command. "I'm going to wash this tower from top to bottom." He growled.
She could do nothing but nod and hope that he would in fact be rid of all the evil within the tower. Yet evil existed everywhere and it could never be completely gotten rid of because peace and complacency always spawned evil.
"You should lay down and get some sleep." He nodded with a rub to her back. "I have to go make sure Malick is comfortable," he insinuated coldly. "and I'll leave Cullen on guard at your door." He grabbed her by the chin and tilted her head to look up at him. "Unless you don't think he can be trusted either."
She shook her head. "I'm as safe with him as I am with you."
He eyed her speculatively for a moment. "Alright." He conceded. "However should he or anyone else try to harm you you better tell me." He ordered. "Undersood?"
She nodded up at him. "Yes."
"Good." He leaned down and placed a kiss on her brow. "I'll be back to check on you once I've taken care of Calvin and Malick. And maybe even pull Irving out of bed as well." He added as an after thought. "I will let Cullen know that he is not to let anyone in this room but myself."
She nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thank you." She whispered.
"Thank you?" He furrowed his brows. "For what?"
"For taking care of me when you don't have to."
He snorted at that. "Someone around here has to do it so it may as well be me. Besides," he pulled her from him and stared down into her puffy red eyes. "you wouldn't have it any other way."
She smiled lightly at that. "You're the best father ever."
"Flattery will get you nowhere." He nodded curtly at her. "I'm thinking you need to be punished for not telling me what was going on." He stared thoughtfully at her. "Perhaps no candy for a month." He nodded.
She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "That's punishing Carroll not me."
"You can't fool me girl." He glowered. "I know you use that candy to bribe him and without it your art days are over."
She scowled at that. "You wouldn't really; would you?" She pouted.
"I might." He nodded and headed for the door. "If I don't see you before you go to bed I'll see you in the morning and be ready to move." He nodded curtly at her.
"I will." She nodded back.
"Good." He gave her a small reassuring smile then left the room. After he had the door closed he sighed deeply. "That girl is going to be the death of me." He grumbled.
"Sir?" Cullen questioned as he stared at him.
Greagoir shook his head dismissing it. "You are to stand guard on her door. No one is allowed to enter for any reason but myself."
"Understood." He gave a small bow.
He nodded at him and headed towards the stairs and deciding that Irving needed to get up and explain to him why the complaint against Uldred went nowhere. Then he would punch the old mage square in the mouth just to make himself feel better.
Cullen watched the Knight Commander leave and was glad he wasn't going to be the one on the receiving end of his rage. Greagoir looked like the kind of man you did not under any circumstances want to cross. He took up his position in front of Zaniah's door and hoped that the Knight Commander gutted the bastard in a painfully slow fashion.
"Cullen?"
"You should be in bed." He nodded though didn't turn around to look at her.
"I just wanted to say thank you." She whispered and stared down at the floor. "You were right I should have said something when it started."
That was the most she had ever said to him in one sitting. He couldn't help but to turn around and look at her causing her to look up at him. When his hazel locked with her silver/blue eyes his breath hitched in his throat. "You're… um…" He shifted nervously feeling his heart pounding madly in his chest. "I uh… I mean…"
Zaniah tilted her head to the side and drew her brows. "Are you okay?" She questioned and watched as a blush slowly crept up on his cheeks.
"S…sorry." He shifted. "I mean yes. It's just, just that I've," he smiled nervously. "I mean this is the first um… time I've seen your face… I mean you... I mean looked at you." He rubbed his brow nervously. "No, what I mean is I've never seen you." Why in Maker's name couldn't he get the words to come out right?
She watched him fidget nervously for a moment then pulled her hood up over her head. "Sorry." She whispered and looked back down at the floor. "I didn't think you would have a problem with how I looked. A lot of the people around here do, they think I'm cursed or I might curse them."
"No no," he shook his head and held his hands up defensively. "it's not that at all." He assured. "It's just that you're," he blushed again and began shifting from foot to foot. "we'll it's just um that you're uh… beautiful." He smiled and blushed a deeper shade of red when she looked up at him.
"I'm not," she gave a small shake of her head. "but thank you anyway."
"No really." He nodded. "You are very beautiful. I mean, ooh…" he began fidgeting again. "sorry. I'm just… well, no, you are beautiful and um, I'm going to stop talking now."
She looked back up at him and peered at him from beneath her hood. "You really think that?"
He gave her a nervous smile and again shifted slightly. "Yes, you are um a very beautiful woman." He nodded.
"Thank you." She looked down and too fidgeted.
"You should go get some uh… sleep." He suggested slowly getting his wits about him.
She shook her head as she continued to stare at the floor. "I'm not tired." She whispered. "Will you…" She trailed off not sure of what she wanted him to do.
He watched her toy with the sleeve of her cloak and wondered what she wanted him to do for surely he would do it.
"Never mind." She whispered and took a step back into her room. "Thank you again."
When she made to close the door he put his hand on it and stopped it causing her to start and look up at him. He had a sudden overwhelming sense that she should not be left alone. "Ask me." He nodded encouragingly at her. "You can trust me." He assured. "It's been nearly a month since we met have I given you any cause to worry?"
She shook her head. "No." She whispered. "It's just it would be inappropriate."
"We'll leave the door open so its not." He moved his hand from the door to her shoulder, turned her around, and with a gentle push guided her over to sit on her bed. Once she was situated he moved to sit in the chair on the other side of the room.
She wrung her hand nervously in her lap wanting to let him in to her little bubble but on the other hand sacred to do so. What if he came in and turned into something ugly something like Malick or even worse? So far since taking on as her personal guard he had been nothing but kind almost overly kind and that's what made her nervous.
It seemed so genuine but on the other hand was it just an act? Was he simply doing his duty fulfilling it the best he could to achieve a higher rank? Was she a means to an end only Greagoir would see? Or was he truly everything he portrayed himself to be to her?
"I promise you I'm not going to hurt you."
She looked over at him like he was reading her thoughts which she knew was absurd.
"I know you have no cause to believe me." He nodded. "Though I hope my actions over the course of the last month speak enough for me."
"You have been very kind." She nodded and looked back down at her lap. "But…"
"I'm not the others." He defended cutting her off. "If I were you'd still be in here with that bastard and no help coming." His eyes hardened at the memory of what was so recently occurring in this very room. "I don't know what more I can do to prove to you that I'm not going to hurt you."
"You don't have to do anything," she shook her head. "it's my own fear I have to overcome to allow you in."
"You already have." He pointed out causing her to look at him again. "If you didn't I wouldn't be here and you wouldn't have told me about Malick."
That was a logic she couldn't argue with nor was she going to try.
He wasn't going to press this was her obstacle to overcome and all he could do is wait for her to jump over it. So he fell silent so she could decide on what she wanted to do next.
She didn't know what to say or to do not liking this awkward silence. The responsibility to fill the void between them was clearly hers to fill. She was the one that wanted him in here with her so she had to make the effort this time. She didn't know what to say so she let the first thing that came to mind come out of her mouth. "I can draw you."
"If you wish." He smiled and blushed lightly.
He watched as she got up, gathered her drawing supplies off her desk, and sat down in front of him on the floor. As she went to work he watched her and wondered if she made faces while she drew or not. He had seen some of the others within the tower that liked to draw and several of them would have their tongue out of their mouth working as hard as their hand was. He couldn't picture her doing that but then again it was possible. "Um…" he started causing her to stop and look up at him. "can I uh I mean." He blushed lightly not only wanting to see if she had a tic like that but just to see her beautiful face again. He only saw it long enough to see her oddly colored eyes and the pale creamy tone of her skin before it was hidden from view. "I want to watch you draw."
She tilted her head slightly as she looked up at him. "But you are."
"No." He shifted nervously in his seat. "I mean y your uh… f face." He felt his cheeks and ears burn hot under his blush.
She sat there for a long moment staring and contemplating his request before she raised a slow trembling hand and removed her hood. She quickly looked down at her lap the second their eyes locked.
Cullen felt his breath hitch at the sight of her for the brief second before she looked down blocking off her face with the top of her head. He didn't mind for the moment being it gave him a chance to see what her eyes distracted him from; her hair. He had never seen anything like it in his life it was nearly the exact same color as her eyes. Silver in the same sense a star looked silver with the lightest of blue tinting it.
She had it pulled back into a low pony tail with the rest of it beneath her cloak and he wanted desperately to pull it loose and see it spill down around her. He wanted the see the full picture, the milky white skin, the silver/blue eyes, hair the same color, her pink lips all of it. As he put the image together in his head words spilled from his lips that he didn't intend to speak aloud. "A twilight star fallen from the sky." He whispered.
She snapped her head up to look at him and drew her brows. "What?"
He blushed again as he came out of his daze and locked stares with her. "If if a star fell from the um the heavens and became human," he smiled at her feeling his blush darken feeling like it was searing his skin. " I think it would look like uh look like you."
She didn't know if that was a good thing or bad though the way he was stuttering it kind of felt like he meant it in a good way. "Is that good or bad?" She looked back down at her lap a little uncomfortable at being so exposed in front of him.
"Good," he nodded though she wasn't looking at him. "it's good I swear. Y you're beautiful." Maker he was going to blush himself to death; not an honorable way to die to be sure.
"You're the first one to ever call me that." She whispered and went to work on her drawing of him.
"I don't think I would be the only one if you didn't hide." He said after he finally got himself pulled back together.
"No." She gave a small shake of her head. "There was a time when I showed my face for everyone to see. They all whispered behind my back calling me names and teasing me."
"You didn't start hiding because of them; did you?" He was stunned she was talking this much so suddenly and he was going to do his level best to keep the conversation going.
"Partly." She used her pinky to smooth out a line on the paper.
"What's the other part?"
She stopped drawing and slowly looked up at him. "The burn from the rite." She lifted her free hand to touch her brow. "It made me even uglier until the burn faded." She looked back down.
"I can't believe Greagoir would do that to you." He shook his head.
"It wasn't by choice." She whispered. "The Chantry sent delegates to make sure the rite was performed on me. When it failed the first time they tried again the very next day." A silent tear escaped the corner of her eye. "It hurt so much that I fell unconscious for two days. Father was so angry," she scowled at the paper fighting off the tears of pain from the ordeal that was so long ago but still hurt so much. "he ordered them to leave and told them if they ever returned he would have them drawn and quartered."
"I assume that didn't go over well with the Revered Mother." He shook his head and felt his respect grow even more for the Knight Commander.
"No it didn't." She sighed. "Father petitioned the Grand Cleric and she put a stop to the orders for them to try the rite on me again or ever."
"Good." He nodded curtly. "Though why do they want you to be turned tranquil?"
"I don't know." She looked up at him. "Father says they fear me but he doesn't know why."
"Perhaps its one of your powers?" He suggested with a small shrug. Here-so-far the only power of hers anyone knew of was her ability to share her memories and part of him was hoping it was her only power. If it came out that she had other well there was no telling what the Chantry might do to control or remove her powers.
She looked off to the side at that and gave a curt shake of her head. "I'm not a mage." She whispered bitterly.
"No you're not." He nodded. "But you do have powers whether they be magic or not. The Chantry was created…"
She looked over at him with a deadly glare marring her features. "Do not defend that evil institution to me." She bit out icily. "They make their vows to a barbaric murderer of innocents because she believed they were responsible for the first blight. They put their belief in a Maker who turned his gaze away from them because his murdering wife was brought to proper justice. Are you aware that she killed all within the Tevinter Imperium be it man, woman," her voice dropped to a quiet poison filled whisper. "or child?"
He was taken aback by her sudden outburst and the anger and hostility that came with it but not surprised. If he was her he would feel the same but on the other hand he had made the same vows to defend the Chantry and all it stood for. Yet as much as he wanted to stand in defense of what he believed he also believed this was his chance to get closer to her. A chance to really find out who and what she was, the Maker would forgive him for holding his tongue for the greater good.
"Sorry I didn't… I mean I shouldn't have brought it up after knowing all you've been through." He looked down at his lap.
Zaniah sighed deeply. "No don't be. I'm sorry for snapping at you." She too looked down at her lap. "That Chantry has corrupted me against everything they stand for and I have no right to take it out on their followers."
He made a mental note to himself to never bring up the Chantry or his beliefs in it to her again. Although the way her rage made her glow almost like she was actually radiating light from her body tempted him to provoke her ire a second time.
"A higher power is the true owner of my wrath."
He looked up at her brows furrowed deeply. "The Maker?"
"There is no such thing." She locked stares with him, eyes hard and steely. "The Maker was a story created by the old Gods and fed to man to test their devoutness to them." A cynical smirk pulled on the corner of her lips as she stared straight at him. "Clearly man failed the test and continues to do so."
For reasons he couldn't understand he was feeling almost ashamed of his beliefs. He had crossed paths with those that didn't believe before but he never once felt ashamed. He really didn't want to have this conversation with her anymore but on the other hand he wanted to hear what she believed. He could see something in her eyes that said she knew something mortal man did not. That prompted a statement he did not expect to form on his lips and was shocked when he heard himself say it.
"You are not a mortal." His eyes widened at his own words and he watched as a slow small smile crept across her lips.
"I bleed if that's what you're wondering. I can die like any other man or woman. I can feel, see, taste, everything any other living person can do."
"But that doesn't make you mortal." He pointed out though not really sure of his own argument. He never considered what it truly meant to be mortal before other than the fact all mortals bled and died.
She eyed him carefully. "Tell me then what does it mean to be mortal if not those things."
A dawning revelation suddenly struck him. The possible reason the Chantry feared her and the reason after a month of being her personal guard he had never really heard her speak. It explains why he would hear Carroll having lengthy arguments with her over her latest missing candy stash but never hear her utter a single word. Why he would hear Greagoir lecturing her over one thing or another and answer words never heard spoken. Had he not been so enamored by the beauty of her face he would have never noticed it. "You can speak into people's minds." He whispered as he realized the last words he actually heard her speak aloud causing her lips to move were her saying she wasn't a mage. "That's why they fear you." He nodded.
She looked straight at him hard silver/blues boring into deep hazels. "Do you fear me?" She actually spoke the words aloud for any to hear.
"No," he shrugged. "why should I?"
"Then you ser Cullen are a better man then most." She gave him a small bow of her head.
xx
Cullen lay in his bed staring at the ceiling listening to his other two roommates snore and fluctuate in their sleep. After so many years of rooming with other men the noises were nothing but a sound in the background much like a cricket in the night. His thoughts were to busy trying to sort out the enigma that was his charge.
He wondered if Greagoir knew that she could speak into the minds of people. Did Carroll? Dylan? Did the Chantry? It wasn't noticeable that strange ability of hers for when she spoke it sounded like she was speaking aloud with the only difference of her lips failing to move. Maybe they didn't notice because she was always hidden beneath the material of her cloak. Or maybe they did notice but never said anything because it wasn't anything new to them.
He was sure it was the former however for if not why didn't Greagoir inform him of her power? He didn't remember reading it in her file and certainly there would have been some mention of it somewhere especially where the Chantry was involved. Then again she kept saying that Greagoir wasn't sure why the Chantry feared her so maybe he didn't know.
One thing was certain and that was there was more to the girl than anyone thought. He was almost positive that she was but wasn't human and as such gave her strange powers. The question was however were her powers stronger than a mage's or were they the same only different?
The answer could only come if he knew what she was. She was a human but not, a mage but not, a creation of the Maker but not or at least she would say.
That was the other thing about her he found odd. Her without a doubt certainty that the Maker did not exist. When she had said that she sounded as though she was there to bare witness to the first tale spun of the Maker. Almost like she knew the old Gods herself and was there when they forged the tale.
Of course the tale wasn't a tale at all. The story of the Maker and Andraste was Maker written truth. There was no proof saying otherwise but plenty of proof saying that what the Chantry said was truth.
Was that why the Chantry feared her? Did they fear she might start going around spouting her blasphemy against the Maker and create a rift within the masses? Really in order to solve the riddle of the connection between Zaniah and the Chantry he needed to know what the Chantry knew. He could speculate until the Maker himself came down and told him the truth from his own lips.
Perhaps Greagoir knew and could shed some light on the subject. He would ask him in the morning before meeting Zaniah for breakfast.
xx
"This was not how I intended on spending my morning." He adjusted the box in his hands as he made his umpteenth trip up the stairs to the Templar quarters. "How can you have so much stuff when it looks like you don't own a thing?"
"I'm organized." Zaniah answered from in front of him carrying a pile of clothes.
"So am I but that still doesn't explain how you have so many things." He looked down at the contents of the box he was carrying filled with trinkets of every kind. "Where do you acquire so many things anyway?"
"Father sends for most of them. Family Hawke sends me some sometimes. Revka Amell send things from her travels. Carroll brings them back from Redcliffe when he has to run business." She shrugged. "And ser Bran sneaks me little things so I won't tell everyone what a softie he really is."
"Well," he followed her into her new room next door to the Knight Commander's. "I guess my idea of befriending and bribing you through trinkets won't have any affect."
"You could try." She turned to face him and pushed her hood off her head. "Maybe you'll find something I don't already have."
He shook his head and smiled at her. After their talk last night it seemed as she allowed him to take a step into her bubble. She had conversed with him more since breakfast than they had in the last month of knowing each other. Though he had to wonder how much of their conversation was her actually talking and how much was her talking in his head. He wished she would keep her hood off all the time so he would know when she was but wasn't talking to him. Baby steps, each conversation and each second spent together was one more step closer to opening her up.
"Maybe flowers." He nodded and set the box on the desk. "They don't last and they're new every time you get one." He looked over at her and felt his breath hitch when she smiled at him.
"Maybe." She looked away at the face he was making.
"Y you should smile like that more uh more often." He blushed. "You're beautiful."
"Do you say that because you believe it or," she turned to face him. "are you saying it just to be nice?"
He heard her say the words as if she spoke them out loud but the lack of movement by her mouth told him she was speaking in his head. It was a little unsettling but he could endure it as long as she couldn't read his thoughts. "Because I believe it." He answered honestly biting down his nerves. He watched as she smiled at him again and gave a bow of her head.
"Thank you." She looked up at him and the sweet smile he was flashing her kept her own smile in tact.
Cullen himself was definitely a battle she was losing against allowing him entry into her little world. There was just something about him that let him slide past her defenses unnoticed and uncared about when caught. The only other person to do that was Carroll by being that annoying brother that always wanted what his sibling had; namely her candy and picking fights with her to get it. Yet that wasn't the same as what this Cullen was doing and she was unsure of what would happen to her when she lost the war to keep him just on the edges of her world.
"Well, shall we make another trip or would you like to take a break?"
"A break would be nice." She sighed. "Too bad father wouldn't let us use a mage or two to move everything or at least a few Templars." She sighed again. "With just the two of us I think it's going to take days to move everything two floors up."
"Agreed." He nodded. "Well lets take a break then," he stared at her. "where would you like to go and rest?"
She stared at him for a long silent moment before she nodded. "Come on." She pulled her hood back over her head and left the room.
"Where are we going?" He followed behind dutifully.
"You'll see." She led him toward the stairs heading back down.
xx
She led him to the corner behind the statue in the common room and sat down on the floor. "Stand here." She pointed right next to her. "Stand like you always do when guarding me."
He stared at her on the floor for a long moment wondering just what she was doing before taking up his ordered position.
"How much trust do you have for me?"
"Well I don't think you would bring me harm or try to if that's what you're asking." He looked down at her and found she wasn't looking up at him meaning she was talking in his head. Especially since her voice was as loud as if she was standing right next to him and not sitting down on the floor. "I mean we've sort of known each other for just over a month now and I guess you could say we're friends."
"If I said I'd trust you with my life what would you say?"
He stared at the top of her downcast hooded head and drew his brows. "I'd say you're crazy for putting so much trust into someone you've only known for that short of time. At most at this point you should at best trust me to stand at your side and maybe watch your back."
"Good," she tilted her head up to look at him and to allow him to see her face from within the hood. "now I know how much you trust me."
He drew his brows at that and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall. "Zaniah what is this about?"
"Trust." She nodded up at him and pressed her lips tightly together. "I want to show you something but I need you to trust me as I need to trust you." She answered in his head. "If you don't think you can trust me say so now and we'll just go to the gardens instead."
Now his curiosity was piqued beyond comprehension. "Is this one of your other powers?" He questioned in a quiet whisper though no one was close enough to hear their conversation… well his half of the conversation anyway.
"Yes." She nodded. "Bran and farther are the only ones who knows of this power and they have kept it a secret from everyone including the Chantry." She fiddled with the sleeve of her cloak and looked down at her lap. "The truth is this is most likely what the Chantry will exploit most of me where they to find out about it. They both know this and they've seen what they have done to me. They keep it quiet to save me from their brand of torture."
Now he wasn't sure if he wanted to know or not. If the Chantry was doing that to her what would they do to someone they thought knew the answers to the puzzle that is Zaniah. "How does Bran know?"
She sighed deeply. "He knows because he's the one who would have to hold me when they would try to turn me tranquil. By physical contact and due to the pain I suffered I couldn't stop from revealing it to him." She looked back up at him and pushed her hood off her head. "Cullen can I trust you?" She questioned out loud in all seriousness.
He stared into those beautiful eyes and nodded sincerely. "Yes." With that affirmation he knew that whatever she was about to show him would never be spoken of at least by his lips.
She searched his face for a long moment before locking onto his golden eyes trying to find just an ounce of deceit within them. She found nothing but honesty staring back at her and knew he would hold his word. "Alright," she nodded up at him. "just relax and look natural."
He did as he was told and acted like this was any other day with him standing guard over his charge. That was until he felt his robes moving about his legs and cool fingers suddenly touching the back of his bared knee just above his boots. "Zaniah!" He gasped and took a step away breaking the contact. When he locked stares with her she looked more irritated than scandalized like she should have, like he was. "What in Maker's name are you doing?"
Zaniah sighed deeply and stared pointedly at him. "You said you trusted me."
"I do." He looked about him to make sure no one noticed their little scene. "But what you were doing." He whispered harshly.
"Touching you." She nodded like it was no big deal which it wasn't. "I need physical contact." She locked stares with him. "Skin to skin."
"You should have said that in the first place." He nodded vigorously, removed his gauntlet, and held his hand out to her.
She stared at his outstretched hand. "And people won't find it odd; me holding your hand? The point is to not draw attention our way and holding hands will do just that." She pointed to the spot he was so recently occupying. "Now standing here won't look any different than any other time you've stood here."
"Inappropriate." He defended again a little weakly.
She stood up and pulled her hood back on. "Never mind." She grabbed him by the arm. "We'll go walk the gardens instead."
He didn't know what to say. He wanted to see what she was going to show him but on the other hand the touching. Not to say it wasn't nice and the feeling of her cool fingers on the back of leg still hauntingly lingered. It was principle and inappropriate.
xx
"Sorry the gardens are off limits during class hours."
Zaniah stared at what was clearly a new guard standing in front of the door. "New Templar the gardens are off limits to mages."
The young Templar stood his ground by taking a firmer stance in front of the door and crossing his arms over his chest. "No one is allowed past these doors during class hours." He ordered and looked from the girl to the Templar standing behind her. "Isn't that correct?" He questioned to get confirmation from his senior comrade.
Cullen couldn't exactly argue with that because it was in fact true. "Correct." He looked at his charge and easily could tell the words he was hearing were words spoken in his head.
"Do not affirm him." She hissed.
He just shrugged down at her wanting to see how she would handle this situation. She couldn't always be silent depending on others to speak for her. She had to step out of her bubble sometimes and now was as good a time as any.
Zaniah moved her eyes from her Templar to the newest member of the tower. "Again I'm not a mage and I have every right to go into the gardens."
"Sorry ma'am I'm under strict orders to not allow any in the gardens until classes are over." He stood firm.
"You could tell him who…" Cullen started but was cut off by her voice in his head.
"I don't need my status to get past this infant." She cut him off.
He shrugged again. "Suit yourself." He answered garnering an odd look from the boy guarding the door.
"Alright Templar child recite the order given." She demanded.
He bristled at the insult and narrowed his eyes upon her form trying to look intimidating. "Knight Commander Greagoir said no one is allowed in the gardens until all classes are over."
"Do I look to be in class to you?" She crossed her arms over her chest.
"No."
"So my class must be over; right?"
"I suppose." He shifted at this odd logic she was throwing at him.
"Therefore I can go into the gardens."
"No." He realigned his stance. "He said classes not class and classes contain more than one person. I see no other students out of class."
"Clever lad." Culled nodded feeling her turning her glare onto him when she looked up at him.
Zaniah sighed irritably through her nose ready to order Cullen to stomp the git until he was a bloody pulp at her feet. However before word one could pass her lips the child was saved.
"Zaniah," Greagoir walked up to them. "what are you doing? Why are you not moving your things?"
"Taking a break." She nodded up at him. "With only the two of us it's not going to get done very quickly."
"Well that's why I was looking for you. Dylan and Jowen will help after their classes are over as will Carroll."
"Thank you." She nodded.
"You're welcome." He smiled at her then turned on his heel and headed back the way he came then suddenly stopped. "Oh and one other thing," he turned to face her once again. "did you turn in your work?"
"It's on your desk." She nodded. "When are you going to stop giving me homework? I finished all my classes."
"Idle mind girl." He narrowed his eyes deeply upon her.
She wrinkled her nose though he couldn't see her do so. "My mind isn't idle."
Greagoir snorted at that. "A good thing too." He looked over at Cullen. "And you'll be moving your things as well."
"Sir?" He arched his brows highly at him.
"You, Carroll, and Bran will take up bunkroom next to Zaniah's room." He nodded curtly. "I will not take any risks and have what happened to my child happen again."
"Yes sir." He bowed his head.
"Good, this tower will be cleansed in no time."
Zaniah sighed deeply. "Really cleansing the tower because of one man?"
"Not one but four." He growled and narrowed his eyes upon her. "And you young lady are on walking that threshold of restriction."
"Why?" She nearly gasped.
He glowered even harder at her. "For not telling me what was going on, again."
"But…"
He held up a silencing hand cutting off her argument. "I will hear no arguments out of you on this." He ordered. "Just know that if I find out one more person is doing you wrong and you haven't told me you'll be on restriction for the next year if not more. Do you understand me?"
"Yes sir." She bowed her head.
"Now this is your last chance; is there anyone else?"
She started to shake her head then suddenly stopped and looked up at him. "Yes sir."
Greagoir arched a silver brow highly. "And who might that be?"
"This new Templar child you recruited." She pointed at the guard watching the interaction between the Knight Commander and her closely with brows drawn deeply.
"I'm not amused." He growled then turned on his heel and walked away.
"That went over smoothly." Cullen snorted.
Zaniah sighed deeply and turned back to the guard in front of the door. "I assume you're smart enough to figure out who I am now. And I'll also assume you're smart enough to get out of the way."
The new Templar looked from the last location of the Knight Commander to the girl unsure of what to do. He was under strict orders not to let anyone through but this was clearly the daughter of the Knight Commander. "I…"
"I'll take responsibility." Cullen nodded cutting him off. "If the Knight Commander disapproves of you letting her through I will deal with the repercussions." He nodded. "Senior Templar orders."
The boy nodded not all that assured he wouldn't get chewed out for letting them through.
Cullen smirked when he heard the boy whisper to himself about the Knight Commander talking to himself. It made him wonder if Greagoir knew or not and want to kick himself for not catching him earlier that morning to ask.
Once outside Zaniah gripped her Templar by the arm seeking out the small spot between his amour to grab his bicep. "I hate new recruits."
"You know you keep doing that and they'll take your precious Knight Commander away calling him mad." He nodded down at her.
"Doing what?"
"Talking to him without saying a word." He smirked at her. "I've watched you and you do it more than you would think."
"Do I?" She questioned pushing her hood off to look up at him.
He chuckled lightly at that. "Yes you do. You have lengthy conversations with Greagoir where he's the only one saying a word and Carroll," he shook his head. "well quite a few people think he too is losing his mind. Your arguments with him are always one sided, his side." He led her down the path that circled the garden. "And you do it to me quite often as well."
"I didn't realize." She nodded and drew her brows. "It's such a natural thing to do that I don't realize I'm doing it. At least I don't think so." She looked up at him. "Do I do it to everyone?"
He shook his head. "Not that I can tell." He shrugged. "It seems you only do it to those you trust enough. Every word you said to the boy at the door you said out loud but most of your argument with Greagoir was one sided."
"Really?" She widened her eyes up at him. "Do they know I do that?"
"I don't know." He shrugged again. "I'm kind of anxious to ask just to see their reactions." He smirked down at her. "Well Greagoir's anyway. I have a hunch that Carroll will either know you do it and not care or just not care. You are a means to an end after all."
"Hey." She scowled at him. "It's not always about sweets with him."
"Isn't it?" He arched a brow. "What else is there?"
She sighed. "Sibling rivalry. You know he was the youngest Templar ever brought into the tower and he's the same age I am. He took his vows at thirteen and got here not but one month later. Actually I think even now he's still the youngest in the tower." She nodded. "Father took a liking to him and well he's the odd son father never had."
Cullen drew his brows deeply at that. "That is young." He nodded. "Most Templars don't take their vows until at least their fifteenth or sixteenth year."
"Well he was a problem child from what I heard and the Chantry wanted to get him off their hands. Father took him thinking to mold him into a perfect copy of himself. Heir to the Templar throne in the Circle of Magi."
Cullen laughed at that. "I'm sure he's disappointed that his grand plan is failing."
"It's not." She shook her head and smiled up at him. "They are alike in so many ways that some wonder if Carroll is in fact father's true son. The only difference is father can be a monster sometimes and Carroll well I wonder if he has a cruel bone in his body."
"He must have something to pass training." He nodded. "It's not all promises to serve the Maker and obey the Chantry."
"I suppose." She nodded. "What about you? Did you have anyone you took on as your adopted family?"
He shook his head. "No. It was made very clear to me that I was a servant of the Maker from the second I decided I wanted to be a Templar. There was never any room for anything else."
She drew her brows and looked down at the path they were walking on. "But what about before that? You weren't always in the Chantry you said so yourself."
"I was an orphan and looked upon as all orphans are," he sighed. "a burden."
She scowled at that. "That's awful." She curled her fingers tighter around his arm.
"That's the way it is." He nodded. "But that's the past and here we are in the now so it doesn't matter."
"True." She agreed as they made their second pass around the circle path of the garden.
"I was wondering if you don't mind," he looked down at her holding his arm and smiled at her when she looked up at him. "if you could explain this whole Amell/Hawke family thing you're twisted up in." He snorted. "You're file reads like a family tree that's been planted upside down and backwards."
"It is." She sighed deeply. "Which makes me glad they're not really my family sometimes, I mean all the time but I do love Dylan so…" She trailed off and shrugged.
"At least you have someone that's like family here that's not a Templar."
"I'm quite happy with my Templar family." She gave his arm a squeeze. "They've treated me better than anyone else."
"Oh I didn't mean to offend." He bowed his head slightly.
"You didn't." She furrowed her brow. "You're a Templar my Templar so to speak so welcome to my family."
He wrinkled his nose at that. "I don't know that I want to be family to you. For some reason it sounds wrong."
She stared up at him taking in his features and found the small wrinkling of his nose to be rather cute. "Well I guess I'll find a place to put you eventually." She shrugged.
"I don't know if I should feel insulted by that or not." He scowled down at her.
"I'd say not." She led them to a bench to sit. "But if you want to be insulted by that then by all means."
"Alright so back to topic." He sat down next to her. "This adoptive family of yours."
"Are you sure you want to hear about it?" She scowled. "It's rather twisted and boring."
He arched a brow at that. "When you put twisted and boring together like that," he nodded. "I have to know."
"I mean twisted in the way family politics are twisted." She nodded. "But if you insist."
"I do and I do insist that you quit talking in my head." He looked down at her hand when she reached up and grabbed his arm again wondering at her need to touch. "I feel like I'm talking to myself when you do that."
"Sorry." She smiled lightly at him. "Habit."
"Apology accepted." He patted the hand on his arm.
"Alright so the Amell/Hawke family nightmare." She sighed. "It all starts with Aristide Amell the most wealthy, powerful, and influential man in Kirkwall. He was going to be Viscount with the backing of the Templars."
"He must have been someone to get the Templars to back him." He nodded.
She nodded back at him. "Well the greatest scandal to shake the city happened forcing him to withdraw his name from the position." She smirked at him. "His niece gave birth to a mage."
He couldn't help but smile at the way her eyes sparkled at that. "I take it you don't like the man much."
"I don't and I'm well within my rights but not as much as Dylan." She glowered. "He forced Revka his niece to give up her child to the circle but allowed his own daughter to run away with an apostate mage."
"And let me guess this apostate mage is the man that found you."
She smiled. "Yes but that's not where this all gets twisted. It starts with Aristide's death and the estate he left behind. The way I understand it to go is that Fausten Aristide's brother and Revka's father when he died Aristide took Revka in and raised her like she was his own. So of course she was put in his will and left with a portion of the estate upon his death. Especially since he took over his brother's estate and combined it with his own so it was only fair Revka was willed a portion."
"I can see where this is going already." He shook his head.
"Exactly," she nodded at him. "he died and the estate was suppose to be split between her, his daughter, and his son. However his son Gamlen a dirty gambling weasel tried to petition the Viscount to gain all of the estate to support his gambling and pay off his debts. Revka found out and put in her own petition to gain complete control of the estate preventing Gamlin from getting his hands on any of the money."
"Twisted." He smirked.
"No I haven't gotten to the twisted part yet." She sighed deeply. "When word got back to Leandra Aristide's daughter she put in her own petition to gain access to the estate. Which locked up the estate leaving no one with access to any of it and the Viscount refusing to make a decision until the family worked out the feud between them. This is where it starts getting really twisted."
His hazel widened as he shook his head. "I was never one much for court gossip but now I know why so many want to hear about it."
"Yes and I'm just glad that only my name is used and I'm not actually a part of it." She nodded. "Anyway Revka decided to rat out Malcolm as an apostate to gain an edge because after all she did the right thing and turned in her own son. That was when she found out about me. Word got back to Malcolm and Leandra that Revka turned them in so he turned me over to the Templars and ran leaving his family behind. He got caught of course and gave his life in a battle with the Templars. The rumor was he only had one child," she placed her hand to her chest pointing out who this supposed child was. "me and that I too was a mage and he turned me over to Ser Bryant." She shrugged. " Of course when asked it turned out that he did turn a child over to Ser Bryant and he sent me here. Clearly the truth about me eventually came out."
"So the Templars didn't search out his real family because he turned in his supposed apostate child." He pointed out.
She nodded. "Revka found out about his death and me being put into the circle. So her next big task was to petition to adopt me as her own because no one knew where Leandra was, Malcolm was dead, and Gamlen was a deadbeat."
"Did she succeed?"
"She did." She sighed deeply. "Now the latest is that she's petitioning to have Aristide's estate divided up between myself and Dylan."
"So she can take it from the both of you because you're both considered mages and will never be able to have access to it." He finished for her.
"And there you have the twisted family feud between the Hawkes and Amells. Currently I'm an Amell because the Viscount allowed the adoption but when I came here I was considered a Hawke." She then grinned up at him. "But that's not the end of it."
"Oh let me guess," he smirked at her. "Greagoir is fighting to adopt you as his own."
She smiled at that. "That's half of it. He's not only petitioning to have me adopted as his own but to get the portion of the estate that's mine based on Revka's petition."
"But you still won't have access to it." He drew his brows deeply. "So long as the Chantry considers you to be a mage this is where you'll live."
"True." She nodded. "But the money from the estate and the Amell name will give me influence to fight the Chantry to prove I'm not a mage. That way I can still live here, not as a mage…"
"But as the Knight Commander's daughter." He cut her off and smiled at her.
"And there you have the sick and twisted tale of how I'm an Amell or a Hawke depending on who you talk to."
He stared over at her. "And who do you consider yourself to be?"
She looked up at him and smiled. "Zaniah the Knight Commander's idle minded daughter." She jerked her head towards the entrance of the garden leading him to look over at said Knight Commander glaring at the two of them.
"I guess it's time to get back to work." He stood up pulling her up with him.
"I just wonder how he finds the time to worry about what I'm doing when his desk is overflowing with paperwork, he has a tower to run, meetings with the First Enchanter, and cleansing the tower from top to bottom."
"I don't think he sleeps." Cullen shrugged as they drew closer to him.
"Probably." She agreed. "We're going." She defended before he could say a word once they came to stand in front of him.
Greagoir snorted at that. "I want everyone moved today. So it's going to be a tower wide effort to get it done." He nodded curtly. "I'm even rearranging the mage's quarters."
"Why?" She drew her brows deeply.
"Call it spring cleaning." He crossed his arms over his chest.
She nearly rolled her eyes. "I know what this is." She nodded and gave Cullen a knowing squeeze to his arm. "This is a hunt for contraband and to shake the tower up from its compliancy." She looked over at her Templar. "This is the fourth time in my life he's done this." She looked over at Greagoir and smiled admiringly at him. "Very effective and it does root them out." She then gave him a stern look. "Now how many nights have you been up in order to pull all this together?"
"That is not your concern." He narrowed his steely eyes upon her.
"It is when it's unhealthy." She nodded. "Now how many?"
"Just one." He answered with a curt nod. "Satisfied?"
"Yes and that means you'll be going to bed tonight; right?" She threatened then looked up at Cullen when he gave her a small nudge.
"You're doing it again." He nodded.
"Really?" She wrinkled her nose at him.
"Doing what?" Greagoir questioned as he stared between the two of them.
"Sir are you aware that most of the time when she speaks to you she's speaking to you in your head."
Greagoir waved a dismissive hand through the air. "Yes I know as does half the tower. It's been that way since she was little."
"I didn't know I did it." She nodded at him. "Why didn't you ever say?"
"I have." He grunted. "You little missy couldn't stop talking long enough to hear a word I said. Alright back to work the day isn't getting any longer and I have a lot of work to do. He ordered then turned on his heel for the exit.
"How many new guards are we going to get?" She questioned as she pulled her hood back up over her head.
"As many to replace the ones I get rid of." He answered as he walked through the door.
Zaniah sighed. "Well can you give them all the rules so I don't have to explain to everyone of them what rules apply to me and don't." She jerked her head towards the guard standing by the door though he couldn't see her do so from behind him.
"No. I will explain the rules once everything and everyone is situated so I don't have to keep repeating myself over and over again." He stopped at the stairs leading up to the second floor and looked at the duo. "If any issues arise that you can't get past you have a senior Templar on hand."
"A month here does not make him senior." She argued.
"It's a month more than the new guards will have giving him senior status." He nodded. "Now back to work and no more dallying until everything is done." He ordered using his Knight Commander voice.
"Yes sir." She bowed her head at him.
"Sir." Cullen followed.
"Good." He nodded curtly at the two then continued on down the hall to begin getting the apprentice quarters in order.
Cullen sighed deeply and looked at his charge deciding he quite liked her holding onto him as she had been since they left the common room. He wished he didn't have his under shirt on so it was skin to skin contact to feel those cool fingers on his flesh again. For the last month they had been together practically constantly except when they felt the need for a break. Yet their breaks from the first day to now were fewer and fewer.
Though he had to wonder what she thought of their situation. Did she sometimes wish he wasn't her guard; wish that she had more of her own time without him around? Or did she enjoy his company? He was sure the later was the case being she was talking to him and not hiding within her cloak as much.
"So I wonder," he started testing to see what she thought of him thus far. "if I'll be reduced to a door guard once Greagoir decides I'm done taking you as my charge." He led her up the steps to the next floor.
"What?" She looked up at him and gripped his arm tightly.
"What?" He questioned back and brought them to a stop in the middle of the hallway. "Surely I'm not going to be your personal guard for forever."
"Why not?" She pushed her hood back far enough for him to see her face. "Father assigned you as my guard so you're MY guard." She nodded. "I'll decide when you're done being my guard."
He arched a brow at that. "Your guard? Well," he placed his free hand to his heart. "I had no idea you cared so much."
"It's not like that." She quickly looked down at the floor. "It's just…" She trailed off and wrinkled her nose at herself.
He flexed his bicep causing her to grip his arm tighter. He was going to have to rethink the uniform situation. Maybe he could get away with cutting the sleeves off his undershirt just for the skin to skin contact if this was how it was going to be.
"It's just what?" He started walking pulling her along with him.
"I don't know." She whispered. "I guess you're the only guard given to me that didn't act like I was a burden." She nodded and frowned.
"Firstly you are far from being a burden." He stopped them in front of her room, grabbed her by the chin, and forced her to look up at him. "Secondly I wouldn't consider myself a thing that was given to you."
"I didn't say thing," she argued. "I said guard."
"Either way you make it sound like you own me." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "I am Templar Cullen personal guard to idle minded Zaniah."
She scowled at that. "I'm not idle minded." She growled and jerked her face from his grasp. "You sound like father." She huffed then stormed into her room to gather up more things to take to her new room.
He grinned to himself quite liking the woman she was turning out to be outside her silent bubble.