Lies and Thoughts

Hong Kong started to hate himself for having that conversation with Taiwan. It reminded him of too much. Angst.

Pairings: USUK and One-sided HKUK

Disclaimer: I do not own APH.

Warning: -ANGST-Hints of JEALOUSY-

Hope you like it!

He lied.

It was one of few occasions when Hong Kong had to resort to lying.

Taiwan had been talking to him after diner that night as usual. And with a sister like her, Hong Kong could not help but pretty much spilled out all his thoughts. Except one. The one he had no choice but to lie about.

Sure, Taiwan can be a major fujoshi when it comes to relationships between any guys. Especially those she knew. Look at all the videotapes and dousjinshi in her room. But she knew very well how to be a supportive, good sister. She would always find the sanity to listen and give advices when talking to such a rational person like Hong Kong. And she really did care for her brother; they both knew it. So she assumed that Hong Kong would be completely honest with her.

'So, you don't miss him at all?' Taiwan inquired curiously.

'No, I don't,' Hong Kong shook his head. Careful now, he thought, I can't let her know that I'm not telling the truth.

'You're impossible!' Taiwan exclaimed, furrowing her eyebrows. She was obviously voicing her opinion from experience. 'I'll have to admit I really missed Japan after he left…'

He gave her a pat on the shoulder, smiling weakly at her. He was never selfish with his smiles, or his words, when he was with his family. Especially with Taiwan. There was something with his sister that rings his protectiveness and he really wished he would ace the job as a good brother.

'Well, I'm known to make the impossible happen!' He joked.

'You arrogant little…' she retorted.

'Give him a call, sis. Or maybe I will,' Hong Kong cut in before she could finish, 'He's coming over tomorrow to give me new manga anyways. Wanna come?'

She thought it over for a second, then nodded in acquiescence. He smiled again.

'Well, goodnight, sister. I'm tired,' Hong Kong stood up from the couch and prepared to call it a day.

'Mm. Goodnight, Hong Kong.'

Taiwan pouted a little before she, too, stood up and dimmed the lights in the living room. She enjoys having a longer heart-to-heart discussion with her siblings from time to time. Oh well, she thought to herself, guess guys just aren't good at talking about their feelings. Too bad Vietnam isn't here…

As Hong Kong slammed his bedroom door shut behind him, he started to hate himself for having that conversation with Taiwan. It reminded him of too much.

Of course he missed England. Who the hell was he fooling?

Yet, why couldn't he tell Taiwan that?

It wasn't because he didn't trust her not to spread the message. He always trusted her. It was more a case of distrusting himself.

He got into his pajamas, took off his contact lenses and climbed onto his king-size bed that felt extremely empty. Once he settled himself in the duvet, his mind wandered off again.

He thought that he trusted himself enough to control his emotions.

Then how could he explain that time when he had to run away when he saw America's arms around England in the pantry after the world meeting, apparently sharing the same cup of tea?

And that time when he had to make up an excuse to leave when America started talking about how England got drunk the previous night, babbling all sorts of nonsense and being how extraordinarily cute?

How about that time when he had to practically stop himself from shaking by gripping onto the rims of his suit, because England came late to their meeting since he was taking care of an ill America? Hong Kong remembered having to painstakingly reread the documents later that night; blame his lack of concentration during the meeting.

As he rolled over in search of a more comfortable position to sleep in, more thoughts crept up in his mind.

He really did wish he could be the one who makes England tea and share it with him now, like in the old days. He hoped he could see more of his adorable sides too…he couldn't recall much of those, as he was always the one being called 'cute' when he was young by his former caretaker.

He thought it'd be nice to be the one who looks after him when he was sick, and the one being cared for when he himself had fallen ill. Seriously, how many times did he have to try out random medicines when he had a fever or a headache? No time for doctors.

Sleep was calling to him but his mind kept returning to all those thoughts that stemmed from the talk with Taiwan. The uncomfortable cold air of the Hong Kong winter was doing him no good either. He was painfully awake. Why does it always seem harder to fall asleep when you really want to?

A single thought casually crossed his mind and he silently cursed himself for even thinking about that. Though he couldn't deny the truthfulness of it.

If only he was here. Maybe it wouldn't be quite as cold.

Shaking his head, he ordered himself to dismiss the thought. He still have work early tomorrow morning; he couldn't afford to lose any more of the little sleep he's made used to get. Curling up on his side to keep warm, he prepared to sleep through a freezing night alone.

Again.

A/N:

Sorry for writing this sad…thing. I somehow got the idea one night while I was away in Paris. Somehow. Too many sappy songs on my phone, I guess. Dx

Also, I'm sorry Hong Kong might have been OOC in this...

Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

Much lurrrrrvvvee,

OmangoOlemonade