Michelle-Note: I seriously wasn't kidding about being prolific. This is a short chapter though, so ha.

Chapter 2: Ruby is a Girl's Best Friend

Ruby: Ruby's apartment, near UCLA: 11:20am (PST): March 14

What's that noise? That god-awful, pounding music…I was trying to sleep. I opened an eye to locate the source of the rap song droning on and on…

Oh, my phone!

I stretched over to my nightstand, knocking off a few things, until I grabbed onto my cell phone.

I looked at the caller ID. Ren? Ren? For a brief moment, I thought of just ignoring her and calling her back at a more reasonable hour.

"Hello?" I mumbled into the receiver.

"You awake?" Ren asked from the other end, "Well…you obviously are now…but were you sleeping?"

"You betcha."

"Sorry…"

"You need to get this time difference thing under control, Ren." I groaned and rolled over.

She paused, "But with the time difference it's almost 11:30 there."

"I don't get up before 2."

"Oh." She didn't seem surprised, "But guess what!"

"What, Ren? What could you be calling me this early for? Did you get a boyfriend? That would be the only thing worth me waking up for."

"No-"

"Oops, well…" I cut her off, "Call me later then."

"Wait!" She yelled, "I promise this is totally worth it."

"Ok. You've got thirty-five seconds. Go."

"You know that London Tipton girl? The one who you were really excited about the night before I left for school for orientation and stuff? The pointlessly wealthy, famous girl? The one with the sex tape-"

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Did you meet her or something?" I doubted it.

"Yes!"

I became suddenly awake and sat up, "Seriously?! Did you actually go to a party? Did you leave the library?!"

"No, I met her in the library!"

"London in the…library?" That's not that cool.

"Yeah. She bought me a cappuccino-"

"London Tipton bought you a cappuccino?! My God, did you save the cup?!"

"No…I really don't understand what the big deal is…"

Ren had not concept of fame and being glamorous, and oh my God, a fashion icon, "Ren…Ren…Ren…I do not understand how you're not grasping what happened to you."

"She's just a girl, who happens to be spoiled and senselessly wealthy…and famous for no reason. She's sort of nice…emphasis on the sort of."

"London Tipton is one of the most famous people of our generation. Did you get her autograph or anything?!"

"Well…I got her number-"

"Sweet Jesus-God on a stick!" I exclaimed.

"What did you just say? It was so high-pitched I couldn't hear it. I think only dogs could…"

"You got London Tipton's number?" I asked her slowly, being sure to enunciate for her.

"Yeah." She answered nonchalantly, "I'm her new poor friend, or something."

"Poor friend? Your mom is a long-running California senator. I'm so much more poor than you are. That's not fair."

"I didn't say it was my idea. She invited me to go to New York with her for spring break."

"New York?!" I asked, "Like the city?!"

"Yeah…"

"Ren, how are you so calm?!" I demanded.

"How are you so batshit insane?" She asked.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself, "Do you not realize what hanging out with this girl entails?"

"I guess not…"

"To start with…the paparazzi are going to take pictures of you. You're going to be on tabloid websites, in gossip magazines, everything. People are going to want to know who you are, and I'm going to be able to be like, "Holy shit! I went to school with her!" and then like…you're going to get to get into all of these ridiculously awesome fucking clubs with all of these other celebrities, and you'll have a driver…and go to all-night parties…and-"

"Whoa, whoa, Ruby. I don't think she's really like the media has portrayed her…even though she was having sex in the library when I met her…"

"That's amazing!"

"If you say so…I think the image of her vagina may have scarred me for life."

"That's just so cool!"

"Right…" Ren sighed, "I'm going to go get some sleep now. I just finished up my biochem midterm. It was my last one, and I can finally sleep in my bed now. I just thought you'd like to know about my celebrity encounter while I was on my way back to my apartment."

"When is you guys' spring break?" I had to meet London Tipton. I needed to network.

"Next week."

"Ah…" Unfortunate, my spring break was the week after, "So when do I get to meet her?"

"Who?"

For someone so smart, Ren could be really dense. "London!"

"Oh…yeah. I dunno."

"Hmm. Ok."

"Later, Ruby."

"Holler." I said and closed my phone. I flopped back down onto my bed, and flung out my arms. Ren Stevens, the most boring person in the entire world would be hanging out with London fucking Tipton. How did this happen? I never thought she would actually meet London, especially in the library. Maybe I should go to the library more?