I have been different from the rest of the werewolves. I am a winter human, that's the best way to describe it. Unlike most of the werewolves I am a wolf in the summer and a human in the winter. Lone wolf is who I am I guess. I can never be with the rest of the wolves because in the summer their wolves. They do help me but there's not much they can do.
Now I have a pang in my head. Its from the heat, not common here in Mercy Falls. the heat is turning me werewolf too soon. This is another thing that makes me different from the other werewolves. This side effect doesn't happen in the others. To be fair I haven't seen the others in a few months now since the fall.
In the fall there had been a lot happening but I stayed away because I was too dangerous. When I am human I kind of go insane. I have intense feel murderous. My wolf feelings trying to escape. I won't trust myself with a knife anyday. One day I took a gun that Beck had and shot some birds and it just made the wolf inside me just want to come out more. Of course there has been Sam around but there's something about him that creeps me out. I try to stay away from him.
There was Cole to but there was something stranger about Cole- more like me in a way. But if I had to choose a conversation I would choose Cole St. Clair any day. Cole was also loud always blaring his music in the tiny house.
Another wave hits me and the shock makes me scream. The pain is too great I have to leave the house. Outsides not much better but the pain subsides. I'm staying in Beck house. No ones here so I have the whole place to myself but they will be back soon. I look at the forest and remind myself I'll be home soon. "Haze, calm down" I tell myself trying to breath with the ache in my head.
I scream just for the heck of it. You are so insane Haze. I tell myself. At least not as insane as my dad. Stop it. He isn't part of you any more. He is a part of Hazel. After my dad tried to drown me that one horrible day I got bit I found Beck and thank the world for that. I would of probably ended up right with my dad in the insane asylum. Stop it. Beck saved me took me in and gave me shelter of his house and the knowledge that there's more of me. Now there's no more Beck as human but as a wolf he was there. Now all I have are Cole and Sam.
Haze. Haze. Haze. Its just the name you would expect for a werewolf. I feel the scar on my neck the reminder that I am a unfaithful animal inside of me. Hazel- I mean Haze- you got to get yourself together before the others come home. I want to be less of an outsider this year so I have worked all winter trying to control my sanity.
Tonight I tested myself with Sam and Cole. I eat with them but Sam seemed self absorbed and distant. We must have said one thing to each other. "Can I eat with you?" "sure". This whole winter I have heard him talking about Grace and to be fair I am sick of Grace. So I was glad he didn't talk much. Cole was rushed on his cheap jelly sandwich and talked a little too much for my liking. He tried to make conversation with me but I didn't trust myself. You could say we all try to ignore each other.
I heard the phone ringing inside the house. A moment later I see Sam bursting out of the house. I call after him "let me come with you". What are you doing? The right thing. Sam nods maybe just because he looks to rushed to argue. I have no idea what he is doing. Your nuts. Shut up.
I got in the back seat and leaned my head against the window. Sam was speeding but I didn't really care. The world whipped by and for some reason that comforted me. I opened the window and felt the cold spring air hit me. I shut my eyes for a second relishing in the cool air keeping me human.
"were trying to find a cure, Haze" He says looking at me through the rear view mirror. Even I can tell he's uncertain. We pull up to a woods and Sam gets out and looks around. "Grace" he calls it quietly at first then getting louder. "GRACE" He yells. Nothing. I notice a wolf walking back into the woods her tail between her legs and I know exactly what happened.
Slowly I do the unthinkable I get out of the car, walk over to Sam and put my arms around him, and today he accepts it. He's not guaranteeing he will except it tomorrow, or yesterday but for now I hold him until he pulls away and gets back into the car.