Lucien opened the door to his room and sat by the window. He liked the red, orange, and golden colors of his room. They were the colors of Autumn. As he looked out the window at the setting sun that filled the sky with a thousand shades of red, orange, and yellow, he felt homesick. He loved his friend's court, the beautiful flowers and trees, but it was just too much green. He missed the different color of the leaves of the trees in the Autumn court. And although he missed the court, he couldn't go back. He wouldn't go back because the memories were just too painful. Tears came to his eyes as he thought of the Fae he had onced loved. It had been a long, long time since her death yet Lucien had not forgotten her. He would never forget her, and he knew that she would want him to love someone else again, for someone else to mend his shattered heart. He hated his father for what he had done. Lucien hadn't cared about being a High Lord, he hadn't cared about gaining power. All he had cared about and wanted was his lover. And it wasn't bad enough that his own father killed her while his brothers held him down, they came after Lucien to kill him to remove him from being a threat. He knew that his brothers were always scheming to keep each other from getting the title of a High Lord, but he didn't know that they would actually go that far and actually try to kill him. And during that entire process, two of his brothers had been killed. Lucien had forgiven Tamlin instantly for killing his brother because Tamlin was doing it for defense, yet Lucien still felt guilt for killing his other brother, even if he was a monster. Lucien couldn't even face his own mother because Lucien knew that his mother loved her seven boys equally, but he knew that she would never forgive him for killing his brothers. Lucien knew he wasn't the only one who had been through so much pain, Feyre, Tamlin, even Rhysand had been through pain, yet as he looked up at the stars, he felt sad and lonely. Looking at Tamlin and Feyre, he missed having someone he could openly talk to, someone he could love and protect. And although he would never forget the Fae he had loved, he hoped that he could find someone to love again. But then again, he didn't want to love someone again, because that would most likely lead to someone he'd fail to protect. Yet as he looked at the stars and closed his eyes, he wished he would find someone to love.