It was a cold night. It's not like other nights weren't cold, but this one was beating them all. I was sitting close to the fire I made, trying to at least warm my hands and feet, failing miserably. Moments like these made me think about going back to Camp Jaha, running to my mother like a coward, begging for a warm bed, for a long overdue bath, for clean clothes. But I still couldn't go back. I still couldn't bring myself to forgive and forget.
The last meal I've had was about two or three days ago, and the rabbit I ate back then wasn't exactly big. I was used to it by now, only eating once in a couple of days, but it still felt like my stomach was digesting itself.
I threw some of the stacked wood I kept beside me in the fire, so it wouldn't expire. If I'd let the fire die while I slept, I'd probably be dead by morning, and that wasn't exactly my plan. It's not like I cared much about what would happen to me, but I made a promise to myself, a promise to my people, and that was to let the commander of the twelve grounder clans pay for what she did. For what she made me do. I had to kill hundreds of innocent people, children, Maya, in Mount Weather, just to save my people. And now? Now I can't even look at them, cause if I did, every face I'd look at, it would make me remember everything. And I could never let that happen. I couldn't live with that. I had to go. And I could never come back.
The day I left Camp Jaha my feelings were a mess, but right now? That day three months ago could never compare to right now. Everything has changed since then, the only thing that stayed the same was my name. Clarke Griffin, Sky Princess. And when I say everything has changed except for my name, I mean everything. Even the colour of my hair is no longer a golden shade of blond, no, it was a dirty red by now. My work, caused by some alcohol I found in an old house, or what was left of it. This one night about seven or eight moons ago, I was seriously considering going back to Camp Jaha, I was even looking for some familiar trees or anything in the woods, searching for something I've seen before. But nothing. After hours of wandering around aimlessly I finally found the old house. And with it the alcohol. After I drank most of the bottle I made my way back outside through the garden, where I instantly tripped over a big root on the ground. I remember lying there for some time and when I tried to stand up I recognized red stains on my hands, shirt and the tips of my hair. For a second I thought it was blood, but when I wiped my hands clean on my jeans, there were no wounds or anything, until I noticed the red stuff dripping out of the root. I tried cleaning my hair with my shirt, but of course it didn't help. So I decided spontaneously to dye my hair.
At least this way no one would recognize me when I accidently ran into humans. And I really didn't want to run into anyone. Or at least no one I knew. But I guess if some grounders found me, someone they've never seen before, someone who couldn't even fake being a grounder cause my trigedasleng sucks like hell, they'd immediately escort me to their leader, their commander, their Heda. And that was the last thing I wanted in my already fucked up life. I wanted to see her dead, I wanted to see her suffer for what she did, but I wanted it to happen my way, and not because I've been caught wandering around in the woods.
I decided it was time so sleep now, the fire would warm me for a few more hours, so I wouldn't freeze to death tonight. Tomorrow would be a long day, but I was so close to my destination, I felt it in every bone in my body. I could practically taste it. My victory over the commander was only a few days ahead of me. Tomorrow I'd continue my journey. My journey to Polis.
/
I woke up just before the sun started to rise. The fire was about to go out and that was my cue to leave. I stood up and grabbed my stuff, not that I had much. I left Camp Jaha with nothing but my gun, but after almost a week alone in the woods, I caught my first animal, and according to the books we had on the Ark, it must've been a badger. I threw the fur around my shoulders to keep me warm, and to hide the fact that I was a sky person.
I remember Lincoln telling Octavia about Polis, when we were all sitting together a few nights before the missile hit Tondc, and I kind of used his few informations to get there. I also remember him saying something about a small village on the way to the capitol. If I calculated correctly, I must reach it tomorrow, today if I walked fast. I didn't wanna go there directly, I had to find a way inside without anyone noticing me. Maybe I could find some food, or better, a horse. Even after all this time my feet weren't exactly used to walking all day every day, and traveling via horse seemed like a really good idea to me.
/
After hours and hours of walking, sweating and kinda losing orientation, I really needed a break. I found a small river and decided to rest there for a little bit. I took the badger's fur off of my body and put it on the ground next to myself. The sound of water flowing filled my ears and for a moment I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh air, before releasing it in a long sigh. That's what I missed the most. Feeling like I didn'd give a fuck about anything. Being careless. Being free. It's been so long since I've felt it the last time. Even back on the Ark, when my father was still alive... I think the last time I've felt so complete was the day my father learned me how to play chess, because he wanted me to beat Wells in that game. He always used to say: "There's nothing anyone could do, that you can't do better."
The thought of him made me smile, but it also made my cheeks hurt. The last time I really smiled felt so long ago. Well, it was. The last time I really smiled with my whole face was the night after... the night after Lexa kissed me, cause I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I furrowed my eyebrows, getting angry at myself. I didn't want to think about her. And definitely not in that way. She'd soon be dead, caused by me, and nothing could change my mind about that. The commander of the twelve grounder clans took everything from me, and now it was my turn to take everything from her.
My feet itched and I decided to take my shoes off. My socks were glued to me, thanks to walking around in the rain for days and not once drying my clothes. It was a wonder I didn't catch a cold yet, but I certainly didn't want to complain. When I also had my socks off, I threw them to the side and started to roll my jeans up, so they wouldn't get even more wet than they already were. I slowly stood up and started walking into the river.
Again I sighed. It felt like the cold water was grabbing all my pain and was taking it away. I walked a few circles in the water, a small smile never leaving my lips, until I heard it. A dull thump not far to my right. I started walking backwards towards my stuff, my eyes searching for the cause of the noise. All around me were trees, some smaller, some bigger, but one of the particular massive ones never left my eye. Something was moving behind that tree, I could see the grass on the ground moving once in a while.
When I reached my things, I didn't even bother putting my socks back on, i hopped into my shoes and grabbed the fur, starting to move slowly sideways, my hand finding my gun, ready to use it. I hid behind a tree, hoping that whatever was behind the other one, didn't see me sooner, or if it did, it would just leave. I waited for a few minutes, and when nothing happend, I decided it was time to go now. Maybe it was just a rabbit or another badger. But I had to be careful, so I told myself it was okay to run away from a rabbit or whatever.
I walked a few minutes around in the woods before I heard something again. Another crack, closer this time and I kinda started to panic. I turned around in every direction, but I still didn't see anything. I held my gun up, hoping that this would give me some strenght, or maybe it would just scare whatever, or whoever, was following me away. Suddenly there was movement behind me, and the noises got louder. Someone was definitely running towards me, but before I even had the chance to turn around, something hit me hard in the back of my head and the world went black.
/
Pain. Actual physical pain was the first thing I felt when I woke up from my unconcsious state. I didn't dare to open my eyes, too afraid of what I might find in front of me. It felt like I was leaning against a tree or something, but I wasn't tied down. I heard the cracking of fire, and someone talking lowkey in the background, and since I've never seen a grounder talking to themself, I guessed it must've been at least two of them. I was so screwed. I was so careful all this time, and then... I let myself relax for one second and then... they got me. If I wouldn't have gone inside that stupid river to play around, they would've never found me. I tried to listen to them, to maybe catch a word in trigedasleng I heard before, something I might understand, but they were talking with such low voices, it was almost impossible to hear them at all.
But then there it was. Skai prisa. One word I definitely heard before. Sky Princess. My title among the grounders. That was the second I finally opened my eyes and looked carefully around, trying not to catch their attention.
I was right. It was two of them. Both really tall and scary. They were sitting close to the fire, their front towards me. One of them had long flowing hair and a tattoo on his face, it reminded me of Nyko's. The other guy seemed way older than the first, he had shorter hair, barely grazing his shoulders, and a long scar across his face. It started just above his right eyebrow and went over the bridge of his nose, over his cheek, and ended on the left side of his chin. They kept their weapons next to them, an axe and a short sword.
Maybe I could wait a little longer, and when they'd look away I could run away or something. I couldn't think of anything else right now, but I had to get away from them. I couldn't stay here. They'd bring me to their commander, and I couldn't let that happen. I tried to wiggle myself a little bit further up the tree so I could sit in a better angle, but thanks to my head I let out a groan and bit my tongue in pain. I pulled my hand up, slowly touching the wound, immediately feeling something hot and sticky at the back of my head.
"Avon, chek au skai prisa.", the older one said and I looked back up at them. They were both standing up and walking towards me. I tried to ignore the pain in my head and scrambled to my feet, my left hand searching for my gun. When I realized it wasn's in it's usual place I panicked and took a step back, just to hit my head on the tree I was leaning against.
"Careful, Klark kom skaikru.", the grounder said and I looked at him startled. When he made another step towards me, I tried again to take one back. The older grounder seemed to realize I wouldn't let him near me, so he stepped back out of my personal space and put his hands in the air in defense. I looked at him confused and furrowed my eyebrows.
"We don't want to hurt you.", the younger one said this time. "A little too late for that, huh?", I groaned sarcastically and rubbed the back of my head in pain.
"We thought you were someone else.", he replied and looked me directly in the eyes. "Ai laik Avon kom trikru, en disha ste Marlo kom trikru.", he continued and pointed at the older one, who just nodded at me. I nodded back at him and saw a smile grazing his lips.
"Ai laik Klark kom... skaikru.", I tried the words in trigedasleng on my tongue and realized they were pretty easy. But they were just basics. Well, I'd probably stay with the basics, learning more trigedasleng wasn't really in my interest.
Marlo smiled at me friendly (damn really, a friendly grounder? Didn't know they existed) and exchanged looks with Avon. "We know who you are wanheda, everyone is looking for you.", Marlo said and I got even more confused.
"What do you mean, everyone?" I'm sure my mother and Bellamy were worried about my where-being's and well-being's, but everyone?
"Since the fall of the maunon the azgeda have been looking for you. They even searched skaikru camp. Queen Nia of azgedakru ordered her warriors to find you, just like Heda ordered us.", Marlo continued and my heartbeat started to race. Why was the Queen of the Ice Nation looking for me? And why was Lexa looking for me? I didn't do anything to turn their anger towards me or my people. It was more the other way around.
"What do they want from me?", I asked in a barely there whisper. I was afraid of the answer. Whatever they wanted it couldn't be something good.
"We don't know about Queen Nia's intentions. But Heda sent out all her best men to find you. She said something about, she's not letting the past repeat itself." I looked at Marlo with wide eyes. Was that really what Lexa said? That she's not letting the past repeat itself? What did that even mean? It couldn't be... I remember Lexa telling me about her first love. Her name was Costia, and she was taken by the Ice Nation to get on informations about the commander. And when Queen Nia got what she wanted, she killed Costia and send her head to Lexa. Is that what Lexa is afraid of? Me getting killed because the Ice Nation thinks I know something useful? Whatever the real reason was, I didn't care. I couldn't care. Not after everything Lexa put me through.
So let it be. Let the Ice Nation come and take me. Now that I was thinking about it, I knew nothing about Lexa. Not even the smallest bit of information I could give to the Ice Queen. All this time Lexa and me spent together was just talking about war tactics and running away from mutant gorillas. We've never talked about... us. Not even once. Except for that one time when she told me about Costia. Not that she told me much about it.
"I'm not going with you to the commander.", I said to the two grounders in front of me. Avon looked at me, his face expression turning a shade darker than before, Marlo was still calm and looked at me friendly.
"You don't have much of a choice if you want to survive, wanheda.", he said. Wanheda? He called me that before, I just didn't know what that meant. Wasn't it enough that everyone knew that I was the skai prisa? Now I've got another title? Why couldn't everyone just stick with their actual name?
"I don't care. I'm not going with you.", I repeated myself stubbornly and shook my head. Avon snorted angrily and took a step towards me, grabbing my arm roughly.
"We also don't care. But we're doing whatever Heda tells us to do. And if she says, find skai prisa, then we find skai prisa and bring her back to Heda." I tried my best to shake him off, I tried loosening his grip with my free hand, but let's be real, I could never win a fight with a grounder like him.
"Teik em ste.", Marlo said to Avon, but he just shook his head and dragged me behind himself a little faster.
"If we hurry we'll reach Polis before dark.", Avon murmured and lifted me on one of the horses, that were standing behind the tree I was leaning against earlier. He took a seat behind me and had his strong arms wound around me, no chance of escape for me. Marlo hopped onto the other horse and threw a last caring smile in my direction, before both horses started to move.
I sighed in defeat. It seemed like the time to face Lexa was just around the corner. My time to end her miserable life was here. Sooner than I thought, I haven't even really come up with a plan by now. I had to hurry. I couldn't let her win me over again. I had to do what had to be done. As soon as possible.
/
A/N: I'm not really happy with how it turned out, but I'm too tired right now to write some things different... if you want me to translate trigedasleng in upcoming chapters, let me know in a review or pm me. Hope you all enjoyed it anyway. clexastuff over and out.