Two: Hello (Part One)
The backyard was wide and hedged in by many tall trees and evergreens. Their leafless branches clustered together over the edge of a high wooden fence, slightly swaying with the wind. This all surrounded plantless flower beds, and a sweeping space of green tinged lawn. It was almost spring and only 50 some degrees outside, yet a girl was sitting in the middle of the grass.
Kaye Thorne's feet were propped up as she lounged in the lawn chair, and scratched at a notepad with a pen. One of her dogs, a white poodle mutt, lay in the grass by her feet, drowning in the sun that burned overhead. She wore only a Notre Dame hoodie and shorts, which ordinarily would mean she was in a relaxed mood. It was quite plain by the tap of her pen on the pad and twirling of her hair in a finger that she was frustrated.
"What do you think, Lucky?" she asked the dog.
For an hour she'd been sitting there writing a story, but for the last twenty minutes, had been stuck on a particular paragraph. Each sentence attempt she read out loud to her dog, hoping that it might sound good. The response to this sentence was a yawn from Lucky, and a tired flop sideways.
"You're no help buddy."
"Well you should hardly expect an answer from an animal."
"My story needs something, I was-"
She gasped, turned around in her chair quickly, and promptly fell out of it sideways. Standing in the grass behind her was a random guy.
"Why are you in my yard, whoever you are?" she demanded.
"I have not the answer," he answered.
"What are you, a fortune cookie?"
He blinked and looked at her blankly. "I am an Elf."
"Your name is Anelf?" she asked with surprise. "That's uh-, very unique."
"No, my name is Rúmil."
"But you just said your name is Anelf!" She crinkled her forehead in confusion.
They stared at one another in puzzled silence, until it seemed to dawn on the stranger.
"I see… My real name is Rúmil. I am one in the race of Elves from Arda."
To his surprise, Kaye burst out laughing hysterically.
"Right-, and I'm the-, Queen of England-," she choked out.
Then to her surprise, he bowed low, then sank to one knee. Kaye immediately stopped laughing.
"I have no knowledge of your land. Please forgive me, my lady! It should've come to me that one so fair was of high birth-"
"Quit fooling around," she said dismissively.
There was no response, he only gave her a submissive look, and remained kneeling.
Her eyes widened in shock. "You're not joking are you?"
"I would not dare mock one who sits on a throne."
She clapped a hand to her forehead and began pacing around in front of him.
"You can't be an Elf. You can't seriously think-. You must be trying to trick me."
An accusing finger was thrown in his direction.
"I do not lie, my lady," he responded seriously.
"Prove it." She looked at him contemplatively. "Hmm. If you're an Elf, you'll know what I'm saying. (Sut naa lle umien sina re? How are you doing today?)."
"Amin naa quell, diola lle. (I am good, thank you)."
Desperately she stared at him, not wanting to believe what sounded too true. He had long straight dark hair, several small braids running through it, and he wore a strange shirt and leggings. Cautiously she came closer to the still kneeling male. Now it was noticeable that a quiver of arrows was strapped to his back. Her hand snapped out, and she lifted a section of his hair, gently on the pointy ear she found beneath it. It was real.
She dropped his hair with a squeak, and he gave her a concerned look. "Are you all right?"
"So-, you're-, you're-, an-, e-, Elf," she stuttered. There! She admitted it! She began walking back and forth again. "A real live Elf. Rúmil? Rúmil of Lórien? Eh?"
"I am not Rúmil of Lórien," he answered, and got to his feet.
"HA! YOU ADMIT YOU LIED!" Kaye yelled in triumph.
"Please do not yell in my ears. We elves are very sensitive to sound."
Taking in how tall he was, she said sheepishly, "Sorry."
"As I said before, I am who I say I am," he continued, and then seemed to become loftier. "Rúmil of Valinor at your service. Inventor of the written letters, and author of the Ainulindalë!"
"You're an Elf author?" she asked. "Then why are you here?"
Rúmil thought for a few moments before he answered her. "Well you are an author too, am I correct? And in particular, a fan fiction writer."
"Yes, Kaye Thorn the fiction author at your service," she said buoyantly. Then she eyed him suspiciously. "Wait…how'd you know that?"
"I listened to your conversation with your animal for nearly an hour. And in my land, we know of your kind."
"Stalker," she muttered. "So how exactly did you get here?"
"The Valar may have had some part, but… Your author sort have interfered much too often in Arda. I think all the meddling may have caused a tarnish or portal somewhere, even as far west as Valinor."
"I'd think Middle-Earth would be utterly twisted then…but maybe while the books still exist, your world can go on? I have no idea what I'm saying?" she jabbered.
"What are these 'books'?"
"Whatever. You're probably right oh wise elf," she said restrainedly.
Suddenly "Hedwig's Theme" began playing from her back pocket.
"Valar, portal-" she muttered while reaching for her cell phone.
It stopped ringing the minute she got it out, and she squeezed it in frustration.
"Darn it whoever…" she trailed off and glanced up at Rúmil to talk to him again.
She jolted in horror. He was aiming his bow and arrow right at her!
"AHHHHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she shouted hysterically.
"What is this evil?"
"It's a phone!"
It began ringing again, startling him and causing both elf and bow to concentrate on it. Noticing his distraction, she hurled it into the air, and made a break for it. No arrows came flying after as she sprinted for the tallest oak tree, and swiftly scrambled up it. As she sat in the branches shuddering, the phone stopped ringing, and the elf took his attention from it. He gazed around the lawn, as if looking for her. To the scared author, he rather seemed like a predator trying to stake out his prey…
Her tree caught his eye, and he instantly spotted her. "Lady Kaye?" he called, coming closer.
"Stay away," she squeaked.
He didn't listen, and when he was a foot from the tree trunk, Kaye began chucking acorns repeatedly at him.
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Stop! Ow."
Kaye couldn't help hyperventilating, and she scolded him. "You Ow. crazy Ow. Elf!"
"Tula dad! Come down! Ow."
"N'diole lle, dolle naa sarn!! No thank you, your head is of rock!You tried to OW! kill me- AHHHHHH!!"
An infuriated squirrel suddenly jumped out at Kaye. She lost her balance and fell out of the tree. She fell onto Rúmil, and knocked him flat onto the ground.
"Ouch…." Rúmil gasped.
From above came the angry chattering of the squirrel.
Kaye gazed down her grimacing rescuer, and took pity. "You saved me! Aww, poor Elf," she chirped, and then promptly squeezed him.
"Get off, choking- can't breathe-"
"Ok sorry," she said, and promptly rolled off him.
"Thank you," he said, gulping in air.
He sat up completely straight, then smoothed down his shirt, which was now full of dirt.
"My tunic," he grumbled to himself.
"It's uh only a little dirt," she said warily, hoping he wasn't too angry.
"Little" was a bit of an understatement. The Elf was attempting to pick out pieces of dirt hopelessly embedded within his clothing. It was especially bad on his back, where she'd squished him to the ground.
"Ok, maybe it's a lot of little dirt," she said, and partially turned away in embarrassment.
Rúmil looked up at her, and scratched at dirt around his nose with his fingers.
Kaye saw this out of the corner of her eye, and shrieked. "Are you picking you nose? An elf?"
"I told you my name is Rúmil!" he retorted.
"I know it is," Kaye replied coolly.
"Then why did you call me-"
"I said," she interrupted. "I can't believe an elf would pick his nose."
"I WAS NOT PICKING MY NOSE, OR ANY SUCH THING," he responded indignantly. "I was merely thinking, and attempting to remove the filth on me from stopping your fall."
"Well sorry," she said, holding up her hands in a peace offering.
"That word is your favorite isn't it? An author should have a more extensive and learned vocabulary," he said bitterly.
Kaye glared at him menacingly, causing him to quail. "Let's pretend I didn't hear you."
She observed him further, and then smiled at his frazzled condition. "I suppose we should get you cleaned up."
He dismissed her help with an arrogant shake of the head, "No thank you. Just gesture towards the nearest river."
She stared at him in disbelief. The nearest body of water would be Lake Michigan 3 miles east. But are you nuts? It's too cold out for swimming."
"Elves do not mind the cold. But that twas not what I intended," he said gruffly. "I was thinking to take my clothes off first."
"Not something I'd want to see," she mumbled. I heard that. "Besides that's probably illegal. Unless you escaped from Area 51 or belong to a nudist colony or something I guess."
"I doubt there will be a problem," Rúmil answered, obviously confused by her reasoning.
"Oh yes it will," she said, straightening up. "Just follow me."
Gesturing in the direction of the house, she grabbed her notebook and stood beside the door. Hesitant yet seeming like a lost puppy, Rúmil followed.
"Stop," she commanded as he reached the sliding door. Her finger pointed at his back. "Bow and arrows now, or I'll take your clothes here and leave you naked in the yard.
"Why?"
"Just DO IT," she said sternly.
There was no way she wanted to find out his reaction to much bigger and louder things than her cell phone. Grumbling he handed it over, and went in the open door.