Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with Hedwig the lovely JCM does 3. I hope you all are enjoying the story. I'd love to read some reviews. Anything helps :).
Chapter 2
One reason why I like walking around in New York City is because I could walk around in my full attire and no one would bat an eyelash. I walk aimlessly around the city and find myself close to Time Square. I figure since I'm here, I mine as well look around. As I walk around I have to remind myself that I was supposed to be thinking of a way to fix my mistake with Yitzhak, but all I could think about was Tommy. He was all I could think about lately. It had been a few hours since I left the hotel room. I consider going back, thinking maybe Yitzhak is there but I don't think it's a good idea. I think we're just going to have a repeat of earlier. I'm tired of fighting. I sigh in exhaustion. I've been walking for hours and the only thought I can think of right this second is 'I wish I wore better shoes.'
As the sun slowly begins to set, the sky turns a beautiful mixture of orange and pink tones. It makes me think of Tommy, of course. What doesn't these days? I roll my eyes in disgust for myself, but then I smile. I remember the day we had been seeing each other for six months. Tommy and I laid out on a blanket outside my trailer and we watched the sunset. I remember he told me he never bothered to watch the sunset and beside me, it was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. I look down trying not cry and shake the memory from my head like an etch-a-sketch. As I refocus, I notice it's becoming dark quickly. I should probably head back; I don't know New York as well as I thought I did. I begin to turn around to go back when I hear a familiar tune attached to a familiar voice. Tommy? No. I close my eyes for a moment in the hopes that my mind is playing games with me. Nope, still there; and it's getting louder. I walk closer towards the sound. I see hundreds of people gathered around a tiny stage in the center of Time Square. I hope that's not who I think it is. I get a closer look. Of course it is. My mind keeps telling me just to turn around and walk back but I'm not listening. Not this time. I have mixed emotions when I see him up close. Sure, I've seen him on TV since we've broken up but never in person. I feel a sense of love and then anger. I want to hit him and then cry. I have questions that I want to ask him but never will. Without even realizing it, my body takes over and I start trying to move my way through the crowd to get as close as I can. It takes a while but I manage to push my way through the teenage mess and get only a few feet from the stage. I know I look misplaced but it feels right. It oddly feels like the old days. Tommy begins to sing his 'new' single and I can't take my eyes off of him. (Despite the fact that he's singing another one of my songs without giving me credit.) I secretly hope he catches my gaze. 'I mean I stand out pretty clear here, it would be pretty hard to miss me.' I say to myself. The more I watch him, the more the memories of us writing those songs and singing them together is almost too much for me, I think about leaving but my body won't let me. I look up one last time in the hopes that he sees me. I see him look at me finally, but quickly, and a look of panic spreads upon his face but he removes it quickly and continues with the song. When Tommy finishes the song, he turns around to lean on one of the drums in the back. No one knows what he's doing. After a few short moments of silence, Tommy turns around and returns to normal except he throws a towel at me before starting the next song. I remember when I threw my towel at him in that small café, I can't believe he'd remember to do something like that. I look back down at the towel and I furrow my brows in confusion until I see the black writing. I could recognize his scrawl anywhere. It says 'wait 4 me after.' I smile and tuck it away quickly so teenage girls don't attack me for it. I cut through the massive crowd and sit on a ledge nearby the stage. So, does that mean he wants to see me? A smile of satisfactions spreads across my face. I'm suddenly filled with some sense of happiness but what if he wants to tell me he never wants to see me again? Or – no I can't think like that.
I anxiously wait around for Tommy after his show. I wait a long time, and I almost think he's not going to come. I should have guessed. When I finally grow impatient, I hop off the ledge and begin walking away. Was I really stupid enough to think he really wanted to see me? "Hedwig? Hey!" I hear a guy's voice call me and I turn around. There he is, only feet from me; Tommy Gnosis. My stomach flutters like a teenage girl's would when she sees her crush. I slowly walk towards him and I see him crack a smile. I smile back and we just stare at each other. I can't believe how much he's grown up since the last time I've seen him but he still acts like the same awkward teenage boy around me. Neither one of us know how to break the silence, it's almost beginning to become uncomfortable. "I didn't know you were coming, I would have gotten you front row tickets." Tommy says and rubs the back of his neck. "I didn't know either." I whisper and look down. "So, how long are you in New York?" I look up from the ground. "A couple of days." I say and he smiles. "Well, maybe we can meet up and talk or somethin'?" My insides scream yes, but how would I ever get away from Yitzhak that long without him becoming suspicious? We'd probably have to have another fight. I sigh. "I don't think that's such a good idea." I can see the disappointment on his face. I know he can see the disappointment on mine. "Well, maybe I can just take you home then?" I nod and follow him to his limo. It was better than nothing I guess, and it was all innocent, right? I slide into the limo and he slides in next to me. We sit in silence for a moment until he offers me a drink. I take it, thinking what's the worst that could happen?
For the next hour, Tommy and I spend it drinking and singing our songs at the top of our lungs. We get closer and closer to each other with each song and the more alcohol we drink. Tommy tries to sneak a couple of kisses but I try to resist. He nips at my neck slightly before I stop him, a feeling of guilt rushing over me quickly. Why the fuck does my conscious always have to take over. I put a hand on his bare chest and close my eyes. "I think you should actually take me home now." Tommy sighs and I tell him which hotel I'm staying at and the street it's on. When we finally get to my hotel the driver helps me out, but I've had so much to drink, I can barely walk. "I'll walk you up." Tommy says, stumbling out of the limo. He can barely walk himself. I let him though because who knows when I'll see him again. We laugh because we know we look like fools and stumble our way through the lobby and take the elevator up to my floor. We hold on to each other and I fish the card key out of my bra. I really need to start putting pockets on my clothes. I refocus and before I can say goodbye to Tommy, he catches me by surprise and pins me up against the wall across from my door and starts kissing my neck. I try to keep silent because I don't want to give him the satisfaction but it's so hard not to like it. He grabs both my wrists and puts them slightly over my head. Apparently he's become adventurous since we've been together. "Tommy, what-" He cuts me off and doesn't let me finish. "What I should have done a long time ago." I close my eyes to think. What is wrong with me? No more than five feet away is my husband in my hotel room and I'm right outside dry humping with my ex-lover. I feel him hold my wrist with one and hand the other slides down around my waist band. Right as I feel his hand starting to slip under the waist band, I feel a force pull him off me. I open my eyes and see Tommy stumble back and the worst thing that could have happened, Yitzhak saw. My breathing quickens and I stare at him with regretful eyes. He looks hurt; he won't even look at me now. He walks over to Tommy and just stands in front of him intensely. Tommy stands up and faces Yitzhak. He looks back at me and shakes his head before punching Tommy right across his face. I didn't even know what to do or say. Yitzhak goes back into the room before I get a chance to say anything and slams the door. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I almost forgot about Tommy. I lean down to make sure he's alright but he only backs away from me. "Tommy?" I shake my head in confusion. "I'm- the drivers waiting." He says getting up and walking away quickly. "Tommy!" He leaves me standing alone in the hallway. I see him stumble to the elevator and he looks at me one last time before leaving.
That sobered me up pretty quickly. I'm not sure if it's a good idea but I decide to go into the war zone, AKA our hotel room. I know it's my fault, it always is but I'm still scared to face him. When I enter the hotel room, I see Yitzhak putting his stuff in his bag. I take another deep breath gathering the courage to talk to him. "What are you doing?" I ask him and move to sit down on the bed. He doesn't answer me. "You're not even going to fight with me?" I ask. Usually that's our specialty. He starts shoving things into the bag with more force. I know I did wrong but I hate it when he ignores me. "Will you just fucking talk to me? Say something? Do anything?!" I stand up and move towards him. He slams the last item down and comes walking towards me. He pushes me against the wall as Tommy did and restrains my hands. He presses up against me and puts his lips on me; anywhere he can find bare skin. I know it's not supposed to but it feels pretty good. "W-What are you doing?" I ask him somewhat confused. I thought this was the last thing he wanted to do with me right now. "This is what you want? Is it not?" He says forcefully with a hint of aggression and puts his lips back on my skin. "Sex?" I asked him. "Oh, that's what that was?" he asked throwing my hands down and moving off of me. I knew he was going to start getting defensive and angry, like he usually does. "Yitzhak, I don't know what to say." I see him look over at me. "Wow that's a first." I slump against the wall and I see him put the last of his things in his bag, it isn't much but somehow the room looks a lot emptier without his stuff. He heads towards the door. "Where are you going?" I ask in a disheveled mess. "To the other room." He said referring to the room where the band sleeps. He was leaving me. Only temporarily but he was leaving me, just like rest. It's my fault, I'm lucky he hasn't asked for a divorce yet. "Okay." I say simply and just let him go. He goes and slams the door again behind him. This time, I wasn't sure I was actually going to be able to fix what was wrong with us.