A/N: Part two is here, ladies and gents. Hopefully you enjoy!
"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera.
"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.
"When we last left off, our campers went off in search of one of six McLean brand Invincibility Statues," Chris explained. "The six who return to camp with one of these wooden heads will be immune from tonight's votes, which will be very important, because tonight, we will hold two, count 'em two, eliminations."
"Ooh! And! And! They get to keep the statues," Lindsay added. "Meaning that anyone who finds one is safe from being voted out until they use their statue."
"Of course, if they really wanted to, they could use the statue on someone else like that Nolan kid did last season," Chris said. "But come on. Who in this day and age is that nice?"
"What about the kid who did it last season?" Lindsay asked. "Wouldn't he be that nice?"
"He was something alright," Chris remarked. "Anyway! Who will find the Invincibility Statues? Who will make friends early on? How about enemies? And who will be the first two to leave the game? Find out, right here, on Total!"
"Drama!" Lindsay added.
"ALPHA PARTY!" the two finished.
As the campers left the mess hall, Lester approached Xingrong.
"Yo, Sandwich Guy. Wanna join me in this sidequest?" Lester offered.
"You seem to acknowledge my skills," Xingrong pointed out. "In light of this, I shall accompany you! You can be my apprentice!"
"Whatever you say, dude," Lester chuckled.
"You doubt me?!" Xingrong asked.
"I mean, I'm the main character of my own story," Lester said. "If you think I'm your apprentice, then that's what you think, but the way I see it, I'm still the protagonist."
"True, but everyone is the protagonist of their own story," Quentin mused as he wandered by. "Even people like Fauna or Hugh."
"Totally forgot which one's Fauna and which one's Hugh," Lester admitted. He turned to the camera. "They really need text boxes in this game, am I right? That's one thing I don't like about this game. The HUD is kind of terrible."
"You have any idea what he's talking about?" Quentin asked Xingrong.
"He speaks many things which no one understands," Xingrong said. "How would you also like to become my apprentice?!"
"Sure, why not?" Quentin shrugged. "What am I apprenticing you with?"
"I shall guide you in the art of Wichmastery!" Xingrong bellowed.
"I'm no Wiccan, but that doesn't mean I won't keep an open mind," Quentin said as he began to look at some birds flying by.
"...which is another why I didn't really like Golden Sun all that much," Lester continued speaking to a different camera. "Not to mention-"
"Come, apprentice! It is time to search for invincibility!" Xingrong commanded.
"Oh, shoot. I should probably get on that," Lester said to the camera. "This minigame probably has a time limit."
Confessional:
Xingrong: My blessed mission has officially begun! I already have two disciples in the ways of making sandwiches! Truly the gods smile upon me!
Quentin: Lester and Xingrong are both pretty strange guys, but you know what, that's pretty cool sometimes. Makes life a lot more interesting, you know?
Lester: I'm gonna kill this minigame though. For real. It's like this one time when I was nine, and we were playing hide and seek, and I was the only one who didn't get found. I mean, it's not exactly like that, since I'm the one seeking this time, but you know what I'm saying.
Kelsey took Mondo aside.
"You. You seem very intent on winning," Kelsey noted.
"I am," Mondo nodded. "I won't settle for anything less than first."
"I like that," Kelsey smirked. "You and I should work together. I'm a very goal-oriented person."
"Works for me," Mondo nodded. "We can both keep our eyes peeled for the idols."
"They're Invincibility Statues," Kelsey corrected. "Idols are from Survivor. This is Total Drama."
"It matters," Mondo said sarcastically.
"It does matter," Kelsey insisted. "We don't want to get sued."
"I don't think that's how it works," Mondo said flatly.
"I don't know. You wouldn't want to risk it," Naomi said as she skated past the two.
"See? She knows what she's talking about," Kelsey said. "She can come with us."
"Cool!" Naomi chirped as she skated past them again.
"Are you going to stop skating back and forth?" Mondo asked Naomi.
"Soon as I figure out how," Naomi said as she skated past them again.
"Point your toes to the ground," Mondo told her.
Naomi did as she was told and pointed the toes of both her feet at the ground, prompting her to trip and fall.
"Hey, it worked! Cool!" Naomi beamed.
"We're losing precious daylight, people," Kelsey said as she clapped her hands to get the attention of the other two. "Let's go."
"Yes, ma'am!" Naomi saluted as she stood up.
Confessional:
Mondo: Yeah, I probably should have been more specific. I didn't think I'd have to clarify that she only needed to do one foot.
Naomi: I've already learned how to stop without necessarily crashing; I'm already making a ton of progress!
Kelsey: Mondo seems like the type who knows his place, and Naomi couldn't lead her way out of a paper bag, so having these two on my side is already a good start. Of course, I have no idea how teams will be determined, so there's no guarantee they'll be on mine, but it's best to make connections early on.
Tori dashed out of the mess hall.
"Wait! Tori!" Isidora called as she trudged out.
Tori stopped.
"What is it?" she asked.
"We're, like... friends, right?" Isidora panted.
"You're tired after walking a few meters?" Tori asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't judge me," Isidora said. "Are we friends or not?"
"We hardly know each other," Tori pointed out.
"Yes, but you're the person I've talked to the most so far," Isidora said. "By that logic, you're my closest ally in the game."
"Wouldn't that also make me your worst enemy?" Tori asked.
"Let's not think too hard about it," Isidora suggested. "Let's look for idols together."
"You would slow me down," Tori said.
"Couldn't you carry me or something?" Isidora asked. "It'd be a good workout or whatever."
"You make a good point," Tori conceded.
"Great. You're going to have to lift me up yourself, by the way," Isidora said.
Tori rolled her eyes as she bent down. Isidora grabbed onto Tori's shoulders, then Tori stood back up and began to sprint.
Confessional:
Isidora: I'm the type of person who likes to meet people one at a time. I know Tori, so... that's a start, or something.
Tori: Isidora is a strange girl, but I have no issues with her. Just because I focus on strength doesn't mean she can't focus on smarts. We are a brains and brawn duo, if I may be so bold.
Genesis approached Osric as she began texting.
"We are aligned, and I'm noticing people splitting off in groups," Genesis texted. "Shall we?"
"Actually, I was thinking we should split up," Osric suggested. "Makes it easier for both of us to find an idol. Plus, we could make more connections."
"I see your point," Genesis texted with a nod.
"You! Girl in purple!" Dalit shouted. "You slave now! Follow I!"
The slave girl grabbed Genesis by the arm and dragged her away. Genesis gave a sheepish wave to Osric as she was dragged off.
"I guess that's one way to do it," Osric remarked.
"BOO!" Ursula shouted from behind Osric.
"Sugar honey iced tea!" Osric shouted as he turned around. "Oh. It's you."
"Ursula," Ursula introduced.
"Osric," Osric introduced back. "Say, how would you like to work with me in the challenge?"
"Eh, works for me," Ursula shrugged. "We should go look in the dark forest."
"I like that idea," Osric said with a perverted giggle as he and Ursula walked off.
Confessional:
Genesis: (She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.) The slave girl has an awful social game. I'm not sure she's what Osric wants in our alliance. She's definitely not what I want in our alliance.
Dalit: Already I have slave. I close to win now. Just beat other people. Easy! Ha!
Osric: Ursula fulfills quite a few of my... interests. Beautiful dark skin, adorable freckles, gorgeous dyed hair. I think I'll enjoy spending time with her. Definitely someone to add to the alliance if possible.
Ursula: I wonder if this recreation of Wawanakwa has a recreation of the escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook? Wouldn't that be so much fun? (She snickers.)
Bijou approached Stormy~.
"You! We shall accompany each other for this challenge," Bijou stated.
"Oh, we will?" Stormy~ asked innocently. "Did Chris say that?"
"No, I did," Bijou said. "You're the best-dressed person here other than myself. We need to look out for each other."
"Oh, thank you," Stormy~ smiled at the compliment. "You're so nice."
"Yes, I know," Bijou said. "I also know that you're the type of girl people are going to want on their side. So I'm claiming you first."
"Thank you?" Stormy~ said, unsure.
"It's a compliment, don't worry," Bijou said. "I'm also someone people will want on their side. I figure it's best that we work together and not against each other."
"We should sing a song to go with our new friendship!" Stormy~ exclaimed. "We can sing the same words, but I'll sing in Japanese, and you can sing in English!"
"One: I don't sing," Bijou stated. "Two: I don't know Japanese, so I wouldn't know what we were supposed to be singing."
"Aw. Okay," Stormy~ frowned.
"For now, let's look for those idols," Bijou said.
"Yes, let's!" Stormy~ nodded.
Confessional:
Bijou: As the best-dressed people here, Stormy~ and I will have people wanting to work with us. That's just how life works. I figure that if we stick together, we can be unstoppable social threats up until we make the final two.
Stormy~: Bijou seems really cool. I think she knows what she's doing, so I'll trust her while I sit back and look cute. (She winks at the camera.)
Fauna gathered Phoenix and Yolonda.
"Where is that Bijou girl?" Fauna asked.
"I think I just saw her leave with Stormy~," Yolonda said.
"Ugh, seriously?!" Fauna complained. "Oh well. I guess the three of us will have to stick together for now."
"We will?" Phoenix asked.
"Of course!" Fauna insisted. "Brothers and sisters need to stick together. Otherwise, whitey will take advantage of us and walk all over us, just like they did when America was founded."
"Yeah, that's definitely how it works," Yolonda said as she rolled her eyes.
"I couldn't help but notice that white guy who had you wrapped around his finger last season," Fauna pointed out to Yolonda.
"Hey, I'm over him!" Yolonda said.
"Prove it," Fauna challenged.
"Er..." Yolonda paused.
"That's what I-"
All of a sudden, Yolonda kissed Phoenix on the lips.
"Okay then," Phoenix said as Yolonda broke the kiss. "If you need me, I'll be focusing on the game and looking for idols."
"Good call," Fauna agreed. "Let's go!"
"I take it my point is proven?" Yolonda asked.
"Yeah, whatever," Fauna said dismissively as she and Phoenix walked off.
"At least wait for me," Yolonda grumbled as she followed them.
Confessional:Phoenix:
Phoenix:I'm not sure if that kiss was just to prove she's over David, or if she had some other ulterior motive behind it, but it's definitely not happening again. The last thing I need is to fall for someone. That accounts for a majority of emotion-based eliminations.
Fauna: It's important that a person of color wins this season. If a majority of this game's winners are not white, maybe we can finally make some damn progress.
Yolonda: On one hand, I don't appreciate being roped into an alliance simply because of my race, but on the other, I'm not about to start making conflict this early on. As for the kiss, it was only to prove a point.
Amelie walked up to Ephraim nervously.
"E-Excuse me?" Amelie asked.
"Hm? Yes?" Ephraim asked.
"You're the one who likes to end conflicts, right?" Amelie asked.
"I am," Ephraim confirmed. "Why? Is someone bothering you?"
"No, well, not yet. At least I don't think so," Amelie stammered. "You see, the thing is, I'm really nervous I'm going to get hurt in this challenge. Like, what if someone sees an idol at the same time I do, and they shove me to the ground and beat me unconscious so I won't get it?"
"...I don't think anyone in this game would do that," Ephraim told her.
"That's what they thought about Franklin, too!" Amelie insisted. "Please protect me. I don't want to get hurt."
"Well, if you think it will help you, I'll follow you and make sure nothing happens," Ephraim assured her.
"Thank you," Amelie said quietly.
"If I may, you don't seem like you really want to be here," Ephraim noted.
"No no no. I do," Amelie said. "I may have been coaxed onto the show, but the money would be nice for college tuition."
"Yeah, I hear that can be a pain," Ephraim nodded. "Well, time is of the essence. Let's go."
Amelie gulped. "O-Okay." She paused. "I don't suppose you could find me a pink idol and bring it back for me?"
"Chris said only girls could bring back the pink idols," Ephraim reminded her. "I'm not going to break the rules."
"Alright," Amelie said with a scared frown.
Confessional:
Ephraim: Amelie, honestly, doesn't seem cut out for this game. But if she wants me to make sure nothing goes wrong, well, it'd feel wrong of me to say no.
Amelie: I just hope there aren't any idols in the forest. I don't like forests. That's where animals live. Animals that can eat you.
Jasper slinked up to Vardaman.
"Hey there, cute stuff," Jasper said flirtatiously. "You're not one of those really intolerant country boys, are you?"
"Er, I don't think so?" Vardaman said warily.
"Oh my. You're adorable," Jasper chuckled.
"Thanks?" Vardaman said, slightly uncomfortable.
"Hey guys," Cordelia said as she approached the two.
"Howdy, Cordelia," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat.
"Hey Cordy, you sexy bitch. What's shaking?" Jasper smiled.
"I just wanted to know if you two wanted to be my friends," Cordelia smiled.
"Ah! Do I?" Jasper agreed.
"Well that sounds mighty nice," Vardaman smiled.
"Cool!" Cordelia beamed.
"Well what are we waiting for? This is already a hot threesome," Jasper said cheekily. "Let's get searching!"
"Yeah!" Cordelia agreed.
"Sounds good to me," Vardaman nodded.
Confessional:
Jasper: Honestly, I only spoke with Vardaman just so I could mess with him. It's surprisingly fun. But hey, from the looks of things, I could be Cordy's straight gay best friend. And Cordy's a likable girl, so being her friend looks good on me.
Cordelia: I'm already making so many friends! Things sure are coming up well for me, huh?
Vardaman: I won't lie, Jasper flirtin' with me didn't make me super comfortable, but I hardly think I'm the only guy who'd feel that way. I don't have a problem with his preferences, I just wish he wouldn't force 'em on me is all.
Warwick approached Zarardo.
"You! You are the one who performs magic, yes?" Warwick asked.
"I've been known as such," Zarardo said casually as he procured a stick of gum seemingly from thin air. He offered it to Warwick.
"This is winter mint. How did you know?" Warwick asked as he accepted the gum, unwrapped it, and began chewing on it.
"Total coincidence, actually," Zarardo said. "Is there a reason you wanted to speak with me, or did you just want gum?"
"I need someone to serve as my right hand in this game," Warwick stated. "You seem level-headed enough to serve as a good advisor, and entertaining enough to be a good fool."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Zarardo said. "You know what? I accept,"
"Like you have a choice," Warwick grinned. "Come, er..."
"Zarardo is my name," Zarardo explained.
"Come, Zarardo!" Warwick declared. "My reign over this island begins today!"
"I look forward to it, Your Majesty," Zarardo said with a wry grin.
"That's what I like to hear," Warwick said proudly.
Confessional:
Warwick: Zarardo must be one of the smartest people in this game, because he's the only one who has the respect to treat me like a king. I would say he's the smartest, but then, here I am. He will make a fine runner-up indeed.
Zarardo: Warwick doesn't strike me as the brightest bulb on the tree, so he seems like the perfect vessel for manipulation. Just make everything I want sound like something that will benefit him, and we're solid. We'd need some more allies, of course, but this is a good start for now.
Hugh looked around to see that no one else was around.
"Come on! Is there no one who wants to go with me?!" Hugh fumed.
"I'm still here," Ronoc said as he took a puff of his cigar.
Hugh coughed. "Should you be smoking that?"
"I'm 19. Therefore, I'm of legal age to smoke a cigar, and yet still young enough to be considered a teen," Ronoc boasted.
"Whatever. You're coming with me," Hugh ordered.
"Well, I guess someone has to," Ronoc shrugged. "Soliloquy scenes tend to be shorter than dialogue scenes anyway."
"You guess someone has to? Tch. You're an artard," Hugh scoffed.
"Two pairs of eyes are better than one when searching for things, you know," Ronoc said as he puffed on his cigar. "We'd better get moving."
"Ugh, fine. But only because I need one of those statues," Hugh conceded.
"Don't worry, if we find one, I'll let you have it," Ronoc said. "Not like I really need one."
"You'll need medical care real soon if you don't shut up," Hugh threatened.
"We should probably head off," Ronoc suggested. "Early bird gets the worm, right?"
"But we're the last ones here, artard," Hugh pointed out.
"Like that really matters," Ronoc said. "We could still end up finding one by pure luck."
Confessional:
Ronoc: He spent the next seven or so minutes being difficult before we actually went off. I, er, the author will save you all some time by putting the transition confessionals here.
Hugh: Ronoc's a condescending douche. Acting like he's so above us all. Talking about some author he knows that no one cares about. I kinda want to punch his lights out.
Lester, Quentin, and Xingrong wandered through the forest.
"You know, why is it that the first world in every video game takes place in a plain or forest?" Lester asked. "Happens in like every Mario and Zelda game, plus every Pokemon game has a forest to traverse near the start of the game. Oh, and there's also Kirby. It's like, come up with some new ideas, am I right?"
There was a pause.
"You know, I'd appreciate it if you two also joined in on the commentary," Lester frowned. "We can't be the next Continue? if only the Paul is speaking."
"I thought you were already on YouTube," Quentin pointed out.
"I am. My brother Mo and I co-commentate," Lester said. "But he's not here right now, so the three of us have to take advantage of this opportunity."
"I came here to teach you of making sandwiches. Not to speak to a camera!" Xingrong responded.
"Yeah, well, there aren't any sandwiches nearby, are there?" Lester asked. "Come on, guys, this is important to me."
"It's important to me that my divine mission be fulfilled!" Xingrong insisted. "Yet you speak of it as if it does not matter!"
"Dude, it's just sandwiches," Lester said. "No one makes a living by making sandwiches. I could make a living doing Let's Plays."
"You fail to grasp the basic concept of a chef!" Xingrong shouted. "Truly you are the most ignorant person I have ever met!"
"What about King Guy?" Lester asked.
"Hmph. You make a good point," Xingrong conceded.
"Also, weren't there three of us?" Lester asked.
He and Xingrong paused to notice that Quentin had disappeared.
"Are we supposed to go find him, or will he re-join our party later?" Lester asked.
"Let us focus on the task at hand," Xingrong decided. "Finding the hidden statues."
"Alrighty then," Lester said.
Confessional:
Xingrong: Lester needs to focus on this game, or he will never last long enough to learn anything from me!
Lester: Xingrong needs to chill. The game's just started. At least give me some time to get a grasp on the mechanics. Geez.
Quentin wandered through the forest on his own, staring into the sky.
"I wish I could join you guys," he said to the birds above. "But sadly I am bound to this earth by the laws of gravity. How do you do it? What do you two think?"
He stopped to find that Lester and Xingrong were no longer with him.
"Did you two fly away as well? How unfortunate," Quentin mused.
Just then something caught Quentin's eye. There seemed to be a differently-colored part of a nearby bush. He approached it and found a pink Chris head.
"Aw, that's too bad. Can't use this," Quentin said. "Maybe I'll take it with me anyway and give it to the first girl I come across."
Quentin took the statue to find a blue one beneath it.
"Well hey. Looks like it's my lucky day," Quentin smiled as he also picked up the blue one, only to find another pink one underneath that one.
Quentin took the pink one, only to find another blue. To his surprise, all six statues were hidden in that bush.
"Wow. Looks like it really is my lucky day," Quentin smiled.
Meanwhile, Chris and Lindsay watched Quentin on a camera feed from the staff building.
"Lindsaaaaay! You were supposed to hide each statue in a different place," Chris told her.
"Really? But you never told me that," Lindsay frowned.
"The challenge is going to take forever now," Chris whined. "Do I need to drop you in the crocodile pit- AGH!"
Chris was cut off when Lindsay activated his shock collar.
"Seriously? I can't use the crocodile pit?!" Chris snapped.
"Nope," Lindsay smiled. "Nothing killy."
"But then what's even the point?" Chris asked.
"What if I threw you in the crocodile pit?" Lindsay pouted.
"Oh, I see, so it's okay when you say it, but when I say i- OW!"
Lindsay activated the shock collar again.
"Rude," Chris frowned.
"Just doing my job," Lindsay smiled.
Confessional:
Quentin: I still can't believe I managed to find all six. Guess me getting separated from the guys was really a blessing in disguise.
Kelsey, Mondo, and Naomi wandered through a different part of the forest.
"Say, Kelsey, I have a question," Naomi inquired.
"I'm happy to answer," Kelsey said proudly.
"If we find a pink one, how do we decide which of us gets it?" Naomi asked.
"Whichever of us has a higher GPA, obviously," Kelsey stated.
"Oh. I don't know mine off the top of my head," Naomi admitted.
"Mine is 4.3. Do you think yours is higher than that?" Kelsey asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Um-"
"Trick question. It isn't," Kelsey interrupted.
"Basically what she's saying is that she'll get it," Mondo explained to Naomi.
"Okay. I guess that makes sense," Naomi said.
"By the way, follow up question, what if we find all the statues at once?" Mondo asked.
"That makes no sense," Kelsey said. "How could we-"
"Hey guys," Quentin said as he walked by with all the statues in his arms.
"Hey! Yellow jacket guy!" Kelsey called. "Save some for the rest of us, why don't you?!"
"Oh, right, I was going to do that, huh?" Quentin remembered.
"How do you forget something like that?" Kelsey asked. "What did you think you were going to do with them?"
"...Good point," Quentin conceded. He tossed a statue to each of the three before him.
"Thanks, stranger," Naomi smiled.
"Right," Mondo nodded.
"Later," Quentin waved as he walked off.
"Well, that makes things significantly easier for us," Mondo remarked.
"On one hand, I don't feel like I really earned this," Kelsey said. "On the other hand, I'm not about to give up an advantage over everyone else."
"Well said," Mondo agreed. "Let's head back to camp.
Confessional:
Mondo: (He's holding his statue.) Like Kelsey said, I didn't really work for this, but now that I do have it, I'm guaranteed at least one more round to prove my strength. I won't let this go to waste.
Kelsey: What I want to know is how that kid managed to find all of the statues like that. I'm going to have to keep an eye on him.
Naomi: Cool, free idol!
Kelsey: (From outside.) It's an Invincibility Statue!
Naomi: Oop! Right! Sorry! Cool, free statue!
Isidora and Tori wound up near a cave.
"Excellent," Isidora said emotionlessly. "A cave is a perfect hiding spot."
"What are we hiding from?" Tori asked.
"No, no, not for us. For an idol," Isidora explained.
"Ahh," Tori realized. "That makes more sense."
"Of course, it's also home to bears or whatever," Isidora stated. "So we need to be very cautious. By which I, of course, mean you need to be very cautious."
"Why me?" Tori asked.
"I can't outrun a bear," Isidora said. "I can't even outrun my cat."
"Hm..." Tori thought to herself.
"Tell you what. If you find one, and it's pink, I'll let you keep it," Isidora offered.
"You promise?" Tori asked.
"Yes, I promise," Isidora said, slightly impatiently.
"Alright," Tori said as she took a deep breath. "Wish me luck."
"Good luck and whatever," Isidora said.
Confessional:
Isidora: I wouldn't say I'm taking advantage of her. I'm just thinking practically about which of us has a better chance of making it out alive. Plus, I really would have let her keep the idol. I'm not heartless.
Tori: I'm unsure of Isidora's intentions, but fighting a bear definitely won't hurt. Well, it might, but it's something I think I can handle either way.
Dalit and Genesis searched through the forest.
"You find?" Dalit asked.
"Nothing yet," Genesis texted. "It's a large island. I don't think we'll find anything so easily."
"No excuse!" Dalit insisted. "Find now!"
"Trust me, if I could, I would," Genesis texted as she frowned. "I want to win just as much as you do."
"No! I want win!" Dalit shouted.
"Let's ask those three if they've made any progress," Genesis texted as she gestured towards Kelsey, Mondo, and Naomi.
"Hey! Three!" Dalit called. "You find?!"
"Yeah, we did," Kelsey boasted as she showed her statue to Dalit and Genesis.
"Give I!" Dalit demanded.
"Yeah, no," Kelsey said. "You'll have to come here and take it if you want it so badly."
Dalit screeched at the top of her lungs as she made a dash for Kelsey.
"Ahh!" Naomi squealed as she skated away.
"Naomi! Get back here!" Mondo called as he followed her.
"Forget her! What about me?!" Kelsey called.
Dalit pounced upon Kelsey and pried the statue from her hand.
"Hey! No fair," Kelsey grumbled. "Girl with the phone! Take it back!"
"I don't want to mess with her either," Genesis texted.
"Oh come on!" Kelsey pouted as she began to give chase.
Confessional:Dalit:
Dalit: I have power! Hahaha!
Genesis: (She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.) I heard that Kelsey literally had her idol handed to her. Easy come, easy go.
Kelsey: This never would have happened if Naomi and Mondo hadn't left me.
Mondo: Yeah, okay, the real reason I left is because I didn't want to have to deal with the crazy slave girl and risk losing my idol. Hey, I never claimed to be an angel.
Osric and Ursula went to the darkest part of the forest.
"This place is so spooky. I love it," Ursula said with a dark grin.
"I like the smell of the forest, I'll admit," Osric said. "It's different from what I'm used to."
"Have you ever made out in the woods?" Ursula asked with a chuckle.
"Oh, er, uh, no, can't say that I have," Osric said with a blush.
"I have," Ursula said. "One time, my friends and I made our own short film for English class, and we did a horror movie. Good times."
"How... interesting," Osric said.
"Making out in a graveyard at night is the best, though," Ursula said. "My ex-boyfriend and I used to do that all of the time. Aw, I miss him sometimes."
"Why'd you two break up, if I may ask?" Osric asked.
"He thought I was 'too immature'," Ursula said, using air quotes. "Like, I'm still a teenager. Cut me a break."
"Was he... not a teenager?" Osric asked.
"He was, but he was a couple years older than I am," Ursula said. "Ah, who needs him? He doesn't understand Halloween."
"You know, Halloween has always been my favorite holiday," Osric said.
"Really?" Ursula said, intrigued. "We're going to get along, you and I."
"I sure hope so," Osric said under his breath as he bit his lip.
Confessional:
Osric: I'm into younger girls, and it seems Ursula's into older guys. Things are already looking great. (He facepalms.) No! She's your potential future alliance mate. Not your potential future girlfriend! Although... (He snickers.) No!
Ursula: I think what's-his-face and I are going to get along great.
Bijou and Stormy~ made a return trip down the thousand-foot cliff.
"How could they have not hidden one there?" Bijou asked. "It makes too much sense to not hide one there."
"Maybe that's why they didn't do it," Stormy~ suggested. "Because it made so much sense."
"I can never tell with this game," Bijou huffed.
"Say, do you listen to J-Pop?" Stormy~ asked.
"I don't know who that is," Bijou said.
"Nooo, J-Pop. Japanese pop music," Stormy~ said.
"Oh. No, as a matter of fact, I don't," Bijou stated. "If I listen to music, it's usually Beethoven or Mozart."
"I don't know those genres," Stormy~ said.
Bijou sighed exasperatedly. "No, no. Ludwig van Beethoven and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Two of the greatest composers to ever walk the face of this Earth."
"Now I'm confused," Stormy~ admitted.
"Hey, ladies," Quentin greeted. "I have a question for you two."
"What is it?" Stormy~ asked.
"If you drop soap on the floor, does it get dirty?" Quentin asked. "It's already soap."
"I imagine it would," Stormy~ said. "Soap doesn't clean things unless you get it wet, right?"
"That does make sense," Quentin mused. He fished through his pockets and took out a pink statue. "Here. Take this for being so helpful."
"Thank you! How sweet," Stormy~ gushed.
"Hey! What about me?" Bijou frowned.
"Sorry, that was my last pink idol," Quentin apologized.
"Well at least tell me where you found it so we know where not to look," Bijou said.
"Oh, I found them all in the same bush," Quentin explained. "I've given all the pink ones out already, but if you find Kelsey or Naomi-"
"Come, Stormy~. We have people to find," Bijou stated.
"Sugoi!" Stormy~ exclaimed as she and Bijou ran off.
Confessional:
Bijou: Stormy~ earned her idol fair and square, so I won't complain. Doesn't change the fact that I want one as well, and will stop at nothing to find one.
Stormy~: How nice of that boy to give me an idol. I heard people are all really mean in this game, but I guess that's wrong.
Fauna, Phoenix, and Yolonda searched in their own part of the forest.
"I bet they hid them in places we'd never think to look," Fauna griped.
"Then why don't we look in those places?" Yolonda asked.
"Because I can't think of what those places might be," Fauna replied.
"She has a point," Phoenix nodded.
"See? Thank you," Fauna said, grateful to Phoenix but annoyed with Yolonda.
Just then, Naomi crashed into Fauna.
"Hey! Watch it, whitey!" Fauna snapped.
"More importantly..." Phoenix bent over and picked up the idol Naomi dropped. "Check this out."
"Hey! No fair!" Naomi pouted.
"Oh, so when white people do cultural appropriation, it's okay, but when the spoiled little honky gets her little toy taken, it's the end of the world?" Fauna asked as she swiped the idol from Phoenix.
"What's going on?" Mondo asked as he caught up to the scene.
"Stay out of this!" Fauna barked.
"No, wait, he's got an idol too," Phoenix pointed out.
"I do, but I don't feel particularly inclined to drop it today," Mondo said. "So, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to the campground with this thing."
Mondo jogged off.
"Mondo! Wait!" Naomi called. "Aww."
"He's got a point. I'm headed to the campground too," Fauna jeered.
"Wait for meeeeee!" Naomi insisted as she got up and skated after Fauna.
This left Phoenix and Yolonda alone in awkward silence.
"That kiss was only to prove a point," Yolonda told him.
"I know," Phoenix said as he adjusted his glasses.
Confessional:
Fauna: That cracker girl needed that little wake-up call. White people can't just expect things to be handed to them anymore. Greedy pigs.
Phoenix: I could have chased after Mondo, but there's no way I was getting that idol out of his hands. I know how to pick my battles.
Yolonda: Eh, getting one of those will put you right into the spotlight, which I'm still hoping to avoid. Probably for the best that I didn't get one.
Amelie and Ephraim searched the beach under the thousand-foot cliff.
"Are you sure the sharks won't come out of the water and eat us?" Amelie asked.
"I am," Ephraim nodded.
"I saw the previous seasons, you know," Amelie said. "They have a shark with arms and legs."
"If he does show up, I'll make sure you don't get hurt," Ephraim assured her.
"Thank you," Amelie said quietly.
"It's what I do," Ephraim said. "You know, I haven't seen any of the others since the challenge started."
"Maybe they're all at the forest," Amelie said. "I know I saw a few people go there."
"Seems entirely likely," Ephraim agreed. "Hopefully they had the foresight to not put all the idols in there. That'd make things both chaotic and unfair."
"Neither of those things sound very fun," Amelie said.
"I agree," Ephraim said. "Better to be safe from danger but vulnerable for elimination than safe from elimination but vulnerable to danger."
"You said it," Amelie shuddered.
Confessional:
Ephraim: I'm mainly here for the experience, because I can't think of anything I really need to buy all that much, but Amelie wants the money. I'm not going to hold her hand throughout the game, but maybe I'll give her a few pushes until she can start to hold her own.
Amelie: Beaches are scary. They have things like crabs and jellyfish and sharks and seaweed! Okay, seaweed doesn't sound all that scary... but it looks weird when it's washed ashore, and it creeps me out.
Cordelia, Jasper, and Vardaman searched under the Dock of Shame.
"So, what do you guys think the teams will be like?" Cordelia asked.
"I dunno," Vardaman admitted. "Did Chris say anythin' about teams?"
"Well there would have to be teams," Jasper said. "There always are."
"Maybe he's lookin' to shake things up and there won't be any teams this season," Vardaman mentioned.
"With 26 people?" Cordelia asked. "That seems like a really big merge.'
"Besides, eliminating one boy and one girl specifically is just too neat for there to not be teams," Jasper added. "I'm thinking two teams of twelve or three teams of eight after the elimination."
"Ooh, I like that," Cordelia said. "I hope we end up on the same team."
"Could happen," Vardaman said. "Large numbers n' all, it seems likely we'd end up on the same team."
"Imagine if we all ended up on separate teams!" Jasper said melodramatically. "Wouldn't that just be the worst?"
"Definitely the worst," Cordelia agreed.
"Well, I don't think we're havin' any luck 'round here," Vardaman said. "Maybe we should search elsewhere."
"Good idea," Jasper agreed. "Beauty, brains, and brawns. Total package, this one."
Cordelia and Jasper giggled while Vardaman tipped the brim of his hat over his eyes.
Confessional:
Vardaman: Look, I don't want to tell him who he can and can't like, but I also don't feel comfortable with him flirtin' with me. What should I do?
Jasper: He just makes it too much fun. (He chuckles.)
Cordelia: If I were separated from those two, I would die. I would literally die.
Zarardo searched on a different part of the beach while Warwick build a sand castle.
"Behold, The Sandy Keep!" Warwick declared.
"As your advisor, I'd recommend helping me search," Zarardo stated. "Two sets of hands work faster than one."
"Ah, but too many cooks spoil the broth," Warwick retorted. "Besides, doing the dirty work is your job."
"At least get rid of the sand castle," Zarardo said.
"What?! How could you even suggest such a thing?!" Warwick gasped.
"You could have built a sand castle on top of an idol," Zarardo told him.
"Please. Who would do that?" Warwick scoffed.
"With all due respect, Your Majesty, taking the sand castle down could be your only chance of winning this challenge," Zarardo said patiently.
"Hm, it's a risky move..." Warwick thought aloud. "What do you think?"
"I think you should do it," Zarardo said flatly.
"Then do it I shall!" Warwick declared. He kicked the sand castle down.
Zarardo began to dig where the sand castle once was. There was nothing there.
"Ah! There's nothing there!" Warwick gasped. "You are the worst advisor ever."
"I'll see to it that I do better in the future," Zarardo said.
"Please do," Warwick huffed as he crossed his arms.
Confessional:
Warwick: Zarardo is likely just new at the whole "advisor" thing. I'm sure he'll get the hang of it as time goes on.
Zarardo: Warwick is childish, sure, but I'm a patient guy. If I just tell him what he wants to hear, it'll make him trust me, which, in return, will make him believe anything I tell him. Anything.
Hugh and Ronoc climbed to the top of Mt. Looming Disaster.
"Well, we've made it," Hugh panted. "And there's nothing freakin' here. Nice idea to search here, artard."
"Oh, I knew there was nothing here," Ronoc chuckled as he took a puff of his cigar.
"What?! Then why suggest it in the first place?!" Hugh snapped.
"I wanted to lead you as far away from the statues as possible," Ronoc grinned.
"Why on Earth would you do that?!" Hugh shouted.
"You're not meant to find one," Ronoc stated.
"Says who?" Hugh challenged.
"Says the author," Ronoc said. "Trust me, you're not going to need one."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hugh asked.
"You'll see," Ronoc shrugged as he puffed on his cigar. "Wouldn't want to give any spoilers, would we?"
"Would it be a spoiler alert if I told you I was about to push you down the mountain?" Hugh threatened.
"No, because you're not going to," Ronoc said, unfazed.
Hugh clenched his fists, but did nothing more.
"...I hate you," Hugh said.
"I don't blame you," Ronoc said. "I have been fairly N-toned in this episode."
"Well, I'm going to go find a statue," Hugh grunted. "Don't follow me."
"Don't worry, I won't," Ronoc assured him.
Confessional:
Ronoc: Hey, at least the author knows he can be a jerk sometimes. Not that this has anything to do with me, of course. Because it doesn't. (He puffs on his cigar.)
Hugh: I wonder how much bad boy cred I'd get if I beat him and up took his sunglasses as proof of my victory. Definitely something worth looking into.
Quentin continued to stroll through the forest.
"I'm surprised I haven't found anyone else since those girls," Quentin mused. "Not even a bird."
"What about me?" Ronoc asked as he appeared not far from Quentin.
"Oh, hey," Quentin said. "You're in luck. I have two male Invincibility Statues. Want one?"
"Sure," Ronoc smirked as he accepting Quentin's gift. "I appreciate it."
"No problem, man," Quentin smiled.
Confessional:
Ronoc: Hey, I only said Hugh wasn't getting one. Never said anything about myself.
Quentin: Guess I should head back to the campground now that I've handed out all the other idols.
Fauna and Mondo both made it to the campground with their idols in hand.
"Chris! I made it!" Fauna called.
"We both made it," Mondo pointed out.
"People only care about the accomplishments of white people, don't they?" Fauna snapped at Mondo.
"Congratulations, Mondo and Fauna," Chris said as he exited the mess hall. "You both have returned with the correctly-colored statue, and, as such, will be invincible in tonight's votes.
"Waiiiiiit!" Naomi called as she skated on-scene. She tried to brake on her skates, but ended up falling on her face. "That was my idol."
"Well Fauna's the one who brought it back," Chris shrugged. "Hate to break it to you, but you'll have to find another one if you want to win."
"Aw, fudgesicles," Naomi pouted as she stood up and skated off again.
Chris approached the intercom and spoke into it.
"Attention, campers!" Chris announced. "Fauna and Mondo have returned with statues. That means two guy statues and two girl statues left."
Confessional:
Fauna: It's about time a black girl comes out at the very top. When was the last time that happened? Exactly.
Mondo: Feels good to be immune. Some may call my tactics in this challenge cowardly, but I see it more as pragmatic. I had an idol, and I wanted to make sure I was able to keep it. I think more of you would have done the same than you'd care to admit.
Dalit and Genesis continued to run away from Kelsey.
"I keep wood head," Dalit insisted. "No one take."
Genesis looked behind her to see that Kelsey was no longer there.
"I think she's gone," Genesis texted.
"Good. Now I safe," Dalit boasted.
"I have an idea, if I may," Genesis texted.
"What is it, slave?" Dalit scowled.
"What if I held on to your wood head for you?" Genesis texted. "I'll make sure it stays safe."
"You make wood head safe?" Dalit asked.
"I promise," Genesis texted with a smile.
"Okay," Dalit said as she handed Genesis the statue.
"Excellent," Genesis texted. "Now let's go back to camp so we can secure your win."
"I win!" Dalit repeated.
Confessional:
Genesis: (She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.) Dalit's poor English, plus the fact that she actually fell for that, leads me to believe that she may, in fact, have been born yesterday.
Dalit: Purple shirt good slave. I may keep her.
Lester and Xingrong continued to wander.
"It's been how long and we've made no progress?" Lester asked.
"Time is irrelevant to those who can never die," Xingrong stated. "You are asking the wrong individual."
"The Xingrong individual?" Lester joked. "Eh? Eh? No?"
"If you dare take my name in vain again, I'll introduce you to my toothpick collection," Xingrong threatened. "You shall be pierced by the spears of a thousand harvested trees until-!"
"Okay, you need to stop," Bijou said as she and Stormy~ walked on scene.
"Who do you think you are, telling a dark angel what to do?!" Xingrong shouted.
"Oh, you're a dark angel? That changes everything," Stormy~ said as she nudged Bijou.
Bijou sighed. "It does. I'm sorry," she said through her teeth.
"Yo, is that one of the statues we're looking for?" Lester asked Stormy~.
"It is!" Stormy~ beamed. "That boy in the yellow jacket gave it to me."
"That must be Quentin," Lester told Xingrong.
"I realize who she was referring to," Xingrong told him back.
"Hey, didn't Chris say that you'll win the challenge as soon as you bring a statue back?" Lester asked. "Why don't you go do that?"
"I was going to help Bijou find one," Stormy~ said.
"Eh, I can hold my own," Bijou said. "Go claim your win."
"Really? Thank you," Stormy~ chirped as she ran for the campground.
"So..." Lester said. "How you doin'?" He winked at Bijou.
Bijou burst into laughter.
"This is good, right?" Lester whispered to Xingrong. "Girls like guys who can make them laugh, right?"
"Again, you ask the incorrect individual," Xingrong told him.
Confessional:
Stormy~: How cool is it that I win my very first challenge? Totemo ureshii deeeeesu!
Bijou: That boy thinks he has a chance with me?! Ohoho... I haven't laughed that hard in some time.
Lester: I probably just need to hang out with her a bunch. Then here tsundere will drop and she'll give me a heartfelt speech about how much she's always loved me. That's how it usually works, right?
Xingrong: I have no time for love! Not when there are culinary discoveries to be made!
Just then, Quentin and Ronoc made it to the campground.
"Attention, campers!" Chris spoke into the intercom. "Quentin and Ronoc have returned with statues! If you're a guy, you may as well head back to camp, because there's no chance of you winning this challenge!"
"Well done," Mondo complimented the boys.
"Nice going, Quentin," Fauna said. "Score one for the POC."
"Oh, Fauna, you card," Ronoc chuckled condescendingly as he puffed his cigar.
"Want me to kick your ass?" Fauna threatened him.
"Eh, you're not the first one to tell me that today," Ronoc said. "Doesn't really scare me."
Confessional:
Ronoc: (One lens of his sunglasses is broken and he has a black eye.) And that, boys and girls, was me tempting fate.
Quentin: I don't see why we can't all just get along. Life would be so much easier if that was the case.
As the boys made their way back to the campground, Dalit, Genesis, and Stormy~ returned as well.
"Attention campers!" Chris announced over intercom. "Genesis and Stormy~ have returned with statues. This challenge is now over! Ladies, return to the campground ASAP!"
"Wait!" Dalit said. "My idol!"
"Genesis is the one who brought it back. Not you," Chris said. "Meaning she's got Invincibility tonight and she gets to keep the statue."
"No! No fair!" Dalit shouted. She turned to Genesis. "I beat you!"
"You will do no such thing," Ephraim said as he appeared behind Dalit and lifted her up by the back of her collar.
"Let go! I beat her!" Dalit insisted.
"Yo, did I hear my boy Quentin found an idol?" Lester asked as he, Xingrong, and Bijou arrived. "Way to go, man. You really put the pussy on the chainwax!"
"What did you just say?!" Fauna snapped.
"'Put the pussy on the chainwax'," Lester said. "It means-"
"I know what it means!" Fauna shouted. "Why the hell do you know what it means?!"
"Alright, I admit it, I got it from Key and Peele," Lester confessed. "But Mo and I are trying to make it more of a thing."
"The hell you doing watching Key and Peele?" Fauna asked.
"Um, they're funny?" Lester asked.
"The hell's a white boy doing watching it?" Fauna continued.
"Uh, they're white too," Lester pointed out. "Half-white, at least. So they're just as white as they are black." He turned to the camera. "Get a load of this chick, am I right?"
"Why you!" Fauna shouted.
"Now, now," Phoenix stopped her as he and Yolonda appeared. "Don't do anything rash."
"Fine. But at least vote him out!" Fauna ordered.
"I'll vote for him. I can promise no more," Phoenix stated.
"Guess who just fought a bear for nothing?" Isidora said as she and Tori arrived, the latter with visible scratch marks.
Confessional:
Phoenix: Fauna is very impulsive. I guess she'll need someone to keep her in line. Perhaps if I do so, it could help me in the long run.
Dalit: Slave cheated! No fair!
Genesis: (She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.) Oh, I didn't know that's what would happen. I'm ever so sorry. (She silently chuckles.)
Tori: The bear put up more of a fight than I'd thought.
After a while, everyone had returned to the campsite.
"Alright, here's how it's going to work," Chris said. "Lindsay's waiting at the bonfire pit. Ladies, your elimination will be held there. Guys, stay here with me. Your elimination ceremonies start right now, so let's get going."
"Wait, right now, right now?" Warwick gasped.
"Brutal," Ursula chuckled.
"Yeah, let's get to it, people!" Chris said impatiently as he clapped his hands twice to signal the campers to hurry up.
Confessional:
Vardaman: Didn't think we'd have no time to strategize. Hope I don't make the wrong choice.
Yolonda: Fauna and I agreed on who to vote for on the way to the ceremony. So I guess Chris didn't think that part through.
Hugh: This is bullroar. How did Jerkass the Ginger get an idol and I didn't?! It makes no sense!
Kelsey: I still can't believe I came up empty-handed. I'd have won, too, if I hadn't been cheated out of my Invincibility Statue. Hmph.
Chris revealed a platter of twelve marshmallows as the boys sat down in the mess hall.
"Welcome, men of Total Drama Alpha Party, to your first elimination," Chris said. "Here's how it'll work. On the tables, you'll, find pens and papers. You'll use these to cast your votes. Just write the name of the person you want gone, and select him. It's not rocket science."
The boys each cast their votes. Chris, with the papers in hand, had the results.
"Alright, all the votes are in," Chris smiled. "When I call your name, come up and claim a marshmallow. The one of you who doesn't receive a marshmallow must meet your fellow female loser on the Dock of Shame."
"Come on, man. The suspense is killing me," Osric coaxed.
"Well, since you're so eager, Osric, you can get the first marshmallow. You received no votes," Chris said.
"Nice!" Osric grinned.
"Also with no votes..."
"Quentin."
"Ronoc."
"Mondo."
"Ephraim."
"Zarardo."
"Vardaman."
Hugh, Jasper, Lester, Vardaman, Warwick, and Xingrong each sat without marshmallows.
"Now, each of you received at least one vote," Chris said. "The following two of you got one vote, and are safe:"
"Jasper."
"Warwick."
Hugh, Lester, Vardaman, and Xingrong each sat, awaiting Chris's next call.
"The next two names I'm going to call each received two votes," Chris said.
"Vardaman."
"Xingrong."
Hugh and Lester sat in wait of Chris's final call.
"Hugh... Lester... one of you received four votes. The other received only three," Chris said. "The one who received three votes and is safe is..."
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"...Hugh," Chris finally said.
"Tch. I'd better be safe," Hugh sneered.
"Wait, so that means...?" Lester asked.
"Game over, Lester," Chris said.
"For real?" Lester asked. "I don't get any continues?"
"'Fraid not," Chris said. "Everyone, head outside. The female elimination should also be done about now."
Meanwhile, at the bonfire pit, Lindsay hosted the girls' elimination.
"Okay, so, um, I'm kind of new to this, so bear with me," Lindsay said. "But, the basic thing is that if I give you a marshmallow, it means you're safe, but if I don't, you're voted out."
"Do we get to vote?" Kelsey asked.
"Oh, right," Lindsay said. "Um... You should find pens and papers at your seat. Write the name of the person you want gone on your paper, and then show me. I'll keep track, and then hand out marshmallows from there."
"That's probably the most ghetto thing I've heard in my entire life," Isidora remarked.
Fauna opened her mouth, but Isidora interrupted her.
"If you have a problem, vote me out," Isidora said dryly.
After some time, the girls cast their votes.
"Okay, so, these people didn't get any votes," Lindsay said.
"Fauna."
"Genesis."
"Stormy~."
"Amelie."
"Tori."
"Cordelia."
"Yolonda."
"Isidora."
Bijou, Dalit, Kelsey, Naomi, and Ursula sat without marshmallows.
"Bijou only got one vote, so she's safe too," Lindsay said.
"Of course I do," Bijou stated as she claimed her marshmallow.
Dalit, Kelsey, Naomi, and Ursula sat in wait.
"The next couple people I call only got two votes," Lindsay said.
"Naomi."
"Ursula."
Dalit and Kelsey both sat in anticipation for Lindsay's final call.
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"Kelsey, you only got three votes, so you're safe," Lindsay finally said.
"As expected," Kelsey said smugly.
"Sorry, Dalit. You've been voted out," Lindsay said.
"I no understand," Dalit said, worried.
"You go bye-bye," Kelsey said. "Savage," she added under her breath.
"What?! No!" Dalit shouted. "I have power! I no slave!"
"I'll take over from here," Chris said as he and the boys arrived at the scene. "Lester, Dalit, and anyone who wants to see these two off, follow me to the Dock of Shame."
Chris, Dalit, Lester, Genesis, and Quentin all went to the Dock of Shame.
"Isn't there usually a Boat of Losers?" Quentin asked.
"Not this season," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pushed a button.
Just then, a large, black, metal box arose from under the water. Its doors opened up to reveal the interior of an elevator, with the word "Fail" in hot-pink spray paint on the back wall of said interior.
"This... is the Elevator of Losers!" Chris announced. "This will take our losers to a new subterranean spot for those voted off. It's entirely watertight, so there's no chance of it flooding."
"So there's no Neo Playa des Losers?" Genesis texted, her eyebrows raised.
"Nope. Way too expensive," Chris said with a big grin. "Anyway, best say your goodbyes before I send Lester and Dalit off!"
"See you, bud," Quentin said to Lester.
"Yeah, this sucks," Lester said. "Now viewership for this season is going to decrease by three hundred and twenty seven."
"That's quite specific," Quentin pointed out.
"That's the number of subscribers I have," Lester said. "So... now what?"
"I don't know," Quentin said. "The elevator thing is new."
"Well, wish me luck," Lester said.
"Good luck," Quentin smiled.
Meanwhile, Genesis wasn't nearly as nice to Dalit.
"It will be such a shame to see you go," Genesis texted with a wry grin.
"You lie!" Dalit shouted. "You trick me!"
"You can't prove that," Genesis texted.
"I hate you!" Dalit cried. "You take power from I!"
"You gave it to me," Genesis texted nonchalantly. "You only have yourself to blame."
"No, no, no!" Dalit cried as she stomped.
"Let's get this done, shall we?" Chris asked. "Genesis, Quentin, you can head to bed."
Genesis and Quentin left the Dock of Shame.
"Uh, ladies first?" Lester offered Dalit nervously as he gestured at the Elevator nervously.
"You nice. Much better than purple shirt slave." Dalit scowled as she stepped on the elevator, followed by Lester."
"Dalit, you've finished the game in 26th place," Chris said. "Lester, you've finished in 25th."
"Well hey, I'm not last," Lester said. "That's cool, I guess."
"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on his remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater.
"It's only been one episode, and we're already two down!" Chris said to the camera.
"And next episode, we get our teams!" Lindsay added as she arrived on scene.
"What sort of drama will unfold when that happens?" Chris asked.
"How will people react to the eliminations?" Lindsay asked.
"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.
"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.
"On Total!" Chris announced.
"Drama!" Lindsay added.
"ALPHA PARTY!" they both finished.
Votes:
Ephraim: That Hugh kid seems like the type to start all kinds of trouble, and that's not the kind of person I want to stay in this game, so I voted for him.
Hugh: Ugh... I couldn't vote Ronoc, so I voted Jasper. He's exhaustingly gay. Like, Mondo's gay too, but he's not an artard about it.
Jasper: You know what, I voted Vardaman, just to mess with him some more. It's not like he was a target, so why not?
Lester: I'm probably going to vote for Dr. Farmer. He's probably the most boring character here, if you ask me.
Mondo: I voted for Lester, since he seemed like a social threat. Apparently I was wrong, since he ended up leaving, but hey, whatever works.
Osric: I voted Lester, since he didn't seem like he was really taking the game all that seriously. I want to play with people who try.
Phoenix: Fauna wants Lester gone, so I guess I voted for him. She'll be happy to hear how the vote turned out.
Quentin: I voted for Hugh. Of everyone here, he seems like the most likely to not get along with people, you know?
Ronoc: It was Lester's time to go, so I voted for him. Simple as that.
Vardaman: I voted for Hugh. I know it ain't really my place to judge, but he seems like a bit of a punk.
Warwick: I cast my vote for Xingrong, for he dared to challenge my rule! This will show him!
Xingrong: My accursed vote found itself damning the one known as Warwick, for having the audacity to try and steal my lone bunk.
Zarardo: Warwick insisted we vote for Xingrong, so that's what I did. No sense in stirring the pot... yet.
Amelie: Dalit frightened me, so I voted for her. It takes a load off my mind that she's gone.
Bijou: Ursula is simply a cur, which is why she received my vote. I told her I'd vote for her, and I am not dishonest by any stretch.
Cordelia: Dalit doesn't seem very friendly, so that's why I voted her off.
Dalit: I want fat girl white shirt leave! She try take power!
Fauna: If that white-ass Kelsey bitch thinks she can take control of anyone, she has another thing coming. That's why I voted for her, but some good that did.
Genesis: (She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.) My vote went to Dalit. I don't like her one bit, and I'm glad she left.
Isidora: I don't really know anyone here, but that skater girl... Naomi, I think, she kind of annoys me, so I voted for her.
Kelsey: Dalit challenged my authority, which is the Total Drama equivalent of a deathwish. That's why I voted for her.
Naomi: That Dalit girl was kind of loud and bossy, and I thought everyone was going to vote for her, so it only made sense that I do the same.
Stormy~: Bijou wanted me to vote for Ursula. Not sure why, but I figured she knew best.
Tori: Neither Isidora nor I know much of the others, so Isidora said we might as well vote Naomi.
Ursula: I voted Bijou. She said she'd vote for me, so I voted for her, right? You coax an axe murderer, you get axe murdered.
Yolonda: Fauna insisted I vote for Kelsey, and yeah, she's someone I'd like to see gone, so I went along with it.
A/N: And there's the double boot! Were you guys surprised by who left? I wasn't, but then that's probably to be expected.
Dalit was meant to be a bit of a fakeout, as someone with a bit of a negative backstory, ending up leaving first by virtue of her own terrible social skills. She had mixed reception at best, but overall I don't think she'll be missed terribly.
Lester ended up being a lot more popular than I expected, at least by the standards of the one chapter's feedback I got. I'll admit, I did have fun writing him, but I simply had nowhere in the story for him, so I let him be a fun, lulzy early boot. Sorry to his fans.
As for why Dalit placed 26th and Lester placed 25th, that's simply because Dalit entered the elevator first. No major reason why I made her in last place, but I figured a way to clarify their placements officially would be nice.