"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down"

Banana Yoshimoto

MEMORIES?

The man kissed her neck and the woman moaned as she raised her head, exposing all her neck to the man's kisses. His hands started to unbutton her white shirt and then he buried his face in her chest as the woman caressed his nape, her eyes closed, her eyelids trembling in ecstasy.

The room was in the darkness except that for the moonlight entering the window.

Enos suddenly woke up, his eyes open wide in the morning's light; he slowly sat up on the couch and he gently massaged his nape, a dull pain radiating from if after a night spent on the small couch.

The couch? He needed few seconds to realize why he had to sleep on the couch instead of in his bed, and the reason of his nape's ache was also the reason of that nightmare. He rubbed his face trying to erase those images: a man kissing (more than kissing) a woman shouldn't be a nightmare, but that woman was his mother, and that man WASN'T his father. He remembered he saw that scene when he was a small child, before her mother left him and his father, but… how could he remember something so clearly if he was only a small child? It's said that people can't remember anything before they are 3-4 years old, but he remembered her mother and that man "doin' things" so vividly he sometimes wondered if it was really a memory or a strange joke of his mind. And that memory/joke was stuck into his mind since he was a child, surfacing in his nightmares and bringing other nightmares and pesky thoughts.

"Hey, darling, you're finally awake. Come on, it's a beautiful morning. And I suppose you have to go to work"

His mother's voice woke him from his thoughts.

"Oh please, mom! That bathrobe is too large for you", he pushed gently away her hand caressing his cheek and he looked away from her beautiful (despite her age, nearly 55 years) body only partially covered by his too much large bathrobe, so large it let too much exposed. Blushing furiously he headed to the bathroom, "Yeah, I have to go to work".

Finally under the shower's jet, he managed to relax, washing away that nightmare, but new pesky thoughts faced to his mind: How long would she stay, this time? For how long would she stay gone after leaving again? Or could he convince her to go back to the Institute? How long would she be so kind to him? The warm water turned colder and colder on his skin the more he thought 'bout it.

He slowly dressed and he came out the bathroom, ready to go to work. He had no appetite at all for breakfast: he wasn't used to having a real breakfast, he usually had a cup of coffee, with few exceptions, and that day he didn't even feel the need of a cup of coffee, he felt only the need to go out the little apartment (too little for two persons… or bein' correct… too little for him and his mother, whereas he could tolerate anyone else to ease his loneliness).

"See, darling, yesterday, when I arrived in Hazzard, I heard some rumors 'bout you"

His hand on the door's handle, ready to run away, he froze 'cause her tone. How long would she have been kind to him? The question he was wondering 'bout in the bathroom had already an answer. He turned slowly to her, who was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in her hands, still wrapped in his bathrobe. Why didn't she get dressed, for God's sake?

She was looking at him silently, her deep hazel eyes on him, his same eyes, whereas her hair was raven; on the table, her cigarettes' pack.

"I heard you nearly married Daisy Duke last month"

Oh no. He DIDN'T want to talk to his mother 'bout THAT.

"But wedding was called off because of your hives. Hives because too much happiness? I don't remember anything 'bout it"

"You don't know… and you don't remember anything 'bout me", he managed to stay calm and he smiled at her, "I gotta go, now. I'm late for work, we'll talk 'bout it this evening, OK?"

"There's nothing more to say 'bout it. Lulu Hogg already told me everything 'bout it: Daisy Duke was marrying you for pity, to protect you from some false charges. Or, at least, it's what people here think. Dukes are too much … above… you"

Enos's fingers turned pale as he grabbed the door's handle. Nobody knew what's between him and Daisy, and for sure not his mother. Pity wasn't the reason why Daisy decided to marry him, and, during the last month, remembering that day, every moment of that day (every look of her, her tone, her smile), and then dating her somehow officially (after that day they were becoming closer and closer) he was really starting to believe she loved him, even if she hadn't said it to him, yet. Or was it only his illusion? Did he see what he wanted to see, whereas people saw the truth, not bein' emotionally involved in it?

"I've said I gotta go, bye".

He quickly went out the apartment, his mother's eyes on his back 'till he closed the door behind him.

Driving her jeep to the town for some shopping, Daisy couldn't help but thinking of Rose Strate. Every time that woman came to town, Enos became more and more silent and clumsy, losing his though small self-confidence: that woman was like venom for him. Less she stayed, better was for Enos.

Parking the car in the square, she saw Enos coming out the Courthouse, perfectly knowing on his face the first signs of Rose Strate's presence. Having a deep breath, she smiled and she walked to him.

"Hey, Enos!"

On the opposite site of the street, he turned to her slowly, as he was waking up from some deep thoughts, then he stood there, without moving, as he was trying to focus her. Daisy crossed the street and she reached him.

"You're at work, as usual, aren't you, sugar?". Obvious question, he was always at work; besides, he wore his uniform, so there was no doubt he was on duty, but she had to cheer him up, in some way, maybe starting with an useless but harmless talk.

He smiled, "Yeah, always on duty. And you?".

Daisy shrugged, smiling, "Shopping. I've a long list of things we need at the farm, but unfortunately no much money, but I'm goin' to do my best. Why don't you come at the farm for dinner, this evening… or tomorrow… or… you're always welcome at the farm, you know, Enos". A gentle attempt to move him away from his mother: less he stayed with her, better was for him.

"Thanks Dais. One of these evening, yeah, I'm goin' to have dinner at the farm for sure… if I don't bother uncle Jesse".

Bother uncle Jesse? Daisy already felt his self-confidence goin' down and down. How could he ask if he bothered uncle Jesse? Enos was a close friend of Dukes since he was a child, and more than a close friend for her.

"Uncle Jesse'd be glad to have you for dinner, sugar, and you should know it", she tried to control her tone in order to not let him understand she was worrying. She gently touched his shoulder but he stiffened. Why? Only the day before they had a walk, hand in hand, talking of everything and laughing a lot, perfectly at ease with each other. Why? The answer was obvious: Rose Strate.

A shadow of worrisome and disappointment crossed Daisy's eyes, and Enos caught it.

"You know 'bout my mother, don't you?"

Daisy started at his direct question: no more useless and harmless talk.

"I know, Enos. How's your mother?", she looked at the ground, preferring not to look into his eyes, and she knew Enos too preferred she didn't look at him.

"She's like usual".

In his voice Daisy couldn't recognize any emotion: nor pain, rage, anxiety, sadness. Nothing. A way to tell her: "I know you know 'bout my mother, but I DON'T want to talk 'bout it"

She grabbed his hand, and he let her squeeze it, "Enos, if you want to… talk… I'm here, and uncle Jesse and the boys too".

"Thanks, Dais. But I'm goin' to be fine, don't worry".

When she looked up at him he was smiling, a forced smile, then he went away.

Looking at him walking away, Daisy thought that last time Rose Strate came to Hazzard Enos ended in Hospital because of his appendix burst. She perfectly knew ('cause Doc Appleby, and Hospital's Doc too, explained it to her) that stress can't be the cause of appendicitis, so Rose Strate wasn't obviously the cause of Enos' appendicitis, but if Enos hadn't confused his bellyache with a simply stomachache due to stress, he'd have asked for Doc Appleby's help before his appendicitis turned into peritonitis; so, if Rose wasn't the cause of Enos' appendicitis, she was for sure the cause of his appendicitis turning into peritonitis. Or, at least, it was what Daisy thought, even if, she had to admit to herself, she was too much strict 'bout Rose Strate; in effect, Daisy was strict towards anyone could hurt Enos, she was overprotective on him.

Looking at him walking away, Daisy told herself she'd have protected HER Enos, no matter what; and that "MY Enos", resounding in her mind, made her blush.