ZOMG! Seriously didn't expect such a response from this silly thing. Is awesome. There is now a basic secondary plotline (the main plotline is the pick-up line thing). So yay! Have another pick-up line!

-X-X-X-

Because Jamaican Me Crazy
2: Do You Mind if I Check You Out?

Vulcan's required less sleep. It was one of the many reasons they differed from the humans of Earth. Sometimes Spock would go days without sleeping before it began to affect him. A simple meditation could refresh him as easily as a night's rest.

After his unusual and fascinating encounter with the Captain, Spock had retired to his own quarters to do some research of his own. While he still didn't see the validity of the practical application of pick-up lines, he thought he had a better understanding of them. Humans could be very shy, untrustworthy creatures. If small lies or tricks were the only way they could attract a mate, so be it. The very survival of the species could very well depend on these pick-up lines.

What had troubled the Vulcan most and kept him awake was the Captain's admission of using suck tactics himself. Spock was at a loss as to why. The Captain was a very confident man. Spock had seen that fact. From the moment he had set foot on the Enterprise, Jim Kirk had strutted around like he owned it. Even during Spock's brief Captaincy, Jim had dared to risk his job and his life to challenge him. Jim was overly confident, arrogant, smart, kind, challenging, frustrating, fascinating, and handsome. Why did he feel the need to resort to such foolishness?

Spock would inquire as soon as the Captain was awake and in the proper mood. He was determined to, in the human vernacular, get to the bottom of this.

He finished his meditation and rose. He did indeed feel rested and relaxed. But it was still much too early for the Captain. Spock would wait.

On his way to the bridge, he passed a few members of the night crew in the halls. He acknowledged them with a nod. He knew them by name but most not more than that. It was something he would regret if he felt regret. But logically, he knew there simply wasn't adequate time to familiarize himself with the near 500 crew members they had at any given time.

He slipped into the bridge silently, nodding as he passed the flight crew. He found his station empty and quickly remedied that. For the next few hours, he diverted all his attention to his terminal, checking data and calculations.

Sulu entered the bridge and relieved his station. Chekov soon did the same. Both said brief hellos to the First Officer. Uhura was the next to join them. Still no sign of the Captain, Spock noted as he looked around. He rose from his seat but was stopped as his communicator beeped. He frowned slightly at the thing as he pulled it out. Rarely was the thing used when he wasn't off-planet. "Spock here."

"Spock." The Captain's voice spoke through the tiny device.

"Captain." The man did have the perfect timing.

"Please meet me in the info deck as soon as possible."

Spock was silent for a moment. "Captain?"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

"Oh my way."

-X-X-X-

Jim leaned back in his chair, a smile on his face. He was rather pleased with himself. The look on Spock's face last night, or lack-there-of. He could just imagine the Vulcan spending his night contemplating. Yes, Jim was pleased with himself. And a game was formed in his mind. He wanted to elicit an emotional response out of the Vulcan. Knock him off his feet, so to speak. Or just completely confuse him. That would work just as well.

The door slid open and Spock quietly made his way towards Jim. He stopped and stood with his hands behind his back. His expression gave nothing away as to what he was thinking.

"Ah, Spock." He smiled. "Thank you for joining me… in the Library." Jim said, rising and waving his arms around the small, empty room.

Spock eyed him but said nothing.

Jim was practically beaming as he slid closer to Spock. He circled the Vulcan, looking him up and down.

Spock turned his head slightly, his eyes following the Captain as he moved.

Jim pulled up in front of him. He crossed his arms and leaned back slightly, smirking. "I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?" He asked smoothly.

Spock piqued his eyebrows. "Checking out is a human colloquialism. To check-out someone meaning to look them up and down, judging based on appearance."

Jim's arms dropped and he straightened up. "Uh…"

"Library card…" Spock continued in his lecture voice. "A primitive concept where one would use a plastic card to gain knowledge by borrowing a book from a library. A library being a place of study, filled with paper volumes. An archaic and time-consuming form of expanding one's mind."

Jim stared blankly at him. But he slowly began to nod. "Yeah."

"You're equating attraction to a possible mate to that of borrowing a book to obtain knowledge. Quite clever. Knowledge is a trait highly sought after."

Jim rolled his eyes and slapped him on the back. "A game, Spock. This is a game. You're spoiling it!"

Spock frowned. "I am?"

Jim walked past him towards the door. "You're thinking too much."

"Fascinating."

Jim laughed and shook his head. "Come on. We're needed on the bridge."

"I was already on the bridge when you interrupted me."

"Just come on."

-X-X-X-

Notes: Again… it makes me laugh. I hope it makes you laugh with it's stupidness.