A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed this story and to those who are now following! I wasn't expecting anything! So I'm very excited that people are actually taking an interest in this. This chapter is darker - just so you know.

"Stay with you?" he asked slowly.

"In here," she pointed towards her room.

"Sam… are you ready for that?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Just to sleep Jack," she laughed lightly.

"Ah!" he ducked his head and smiled shyly. "I knew that."

Sam gently tugged on his hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in a minute," she said as she took the first nightwear that came to hand and walked into her adjoining bathroom.

Slowly she brushed her teeth and removed her minimal makeup. She stripped herself of her clothes and heard Jack in the bathroom down the hall before removing her contact lenses and putting on her glasses.

She picked up her selected nightwear and realised with horror that it was the nightdress she had been wearing the night he had gone over when Jake was ill.

She could remember the way his eyes had traced her body. She blushed at the memory.

'Pull yourself together Sam,' she scolded herself as she put the garment on.

Taking a deep breath she looked in the mirror. Her long blonde hair rested just below her collar bone in soft waves, her blue eyes stood out against the black frames of her glasses.

Her body had softened over the years. The hard defined lines of the soldier she once was were long gone. She knew she had put on weight since falling pregnant. Everyone told her she looked good. That she suited it. But she found it hard to believe. Yet at the same time, she loved how motherhood had affected her.

She sighed as she looked at her hips and waist, no longer as smooth and toned. She had tried to keep in shape, but had always chosen Jake's happiness over her physical appearance.

She knew she hadn't put on that much weight. She looked healthier now than she had done in years. But still… she couldn't help but compare herself to the person she had been years ago.

'God Sam, look at you. When did you get so fat?' a voice in her head taunted her. 'What kind of mother are you? Letting your rapist in to your son's life? He's dangerous! His first son SHOT himself. Do you really want to lose Jake that way?'

'Shut up! He's a good man! Jake loves him. What happened to Charlie was an accident!'

'You're pathetic! You should never have come back here. You're putting your son in danger. Your rapist is in your bedroom. He's done it once, he'll do it again.'

Sam drew in a shaky breath as she balled up her fists and buried them in her eyes, almost knocking the glasses off her face.

'SHUT UP!'

Forcing herself to end the internal argument she exhaled longley and straightened her glasses and walked back in to her room.

She could see Jack sitting on the end of her bed, still fully clothed and looking lost. She felt relieved to know she wasn't the only one who was nervous.

He turned to face her when she walked back into the room. His mouth fell open slightly as he took in her appearance. He swallowed his desire but knew that it was still shining in his eyes.

"God, you're beautiful," he whispered as Sam shifted nervously under his attentive gaze. He watched as colour filled her cheeks from his words.

"You sleeping in your clothes?" she asked, trying to take the attention away from herself as she slowly took a step towards him.

"I don't mind staying in the spare room or going home," he stated when she was directly in front of him.

"Don't be ridiculous Jack," she laughed nervously. "I want you to stay with me," she added as she took his hands in hers and pulled him to his feet.

Dropping his hands, she slowly raised her hands to the buttons on his shirt and shakily undone the top two before the internal voice taunted her again.

'You're just asking to be raped again,' is spat.

She felt her eyes glaze over as she argued with it.

"Sam?" a voice asked her breaking through her thoughts.

She blinked a few times before realising that her hands were still on the third button of his shirt and that his hands lightly covered hers to control the shaking. She slowly looked up in to his eyes and saw they were filled with a mixture of worry and fear.

"I'm ok," she said softly in reply as she nodded and undone the third and fourth button on his shirt, his hands still covering hers.

"Are you sure?" worry filled his voice as she undone the final few buttons and shook his hands off hers.

She swallowed hard as she nodded and pushed his shirt off his shoulders. They let it fall to the floor at his feet.

"I'm ok," she repeated as she reached for the belt buckle, clumsily undoing it. "Take your t-shirt off."

Sam heard, more than saw, the t-shirt fall to the floor beside his shirt. Taking a deep breath she opened the button on his jeans.

"Sam," her eyes met his. "Get in to bed."

Silently she nodded and turned towards her bed, running her hands angrily through her hair. Her eyes welled with tears as she heard him take off his jeans and pick up his discarded clothes. He put them on the chair in the corner of the room as he watched her settle in to bed facing the centre.

He timidly climbed in beside her and saw that she was no longer wearing her glasses. He noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Sam? What's wrong? Do you want me to go?" he asked as he started getting out of bed.

"NO!" she said urgently, grabbing one of his hands and pulling him back. "I need you to stay."

He looked over every inch of her beautiful face and got back into bed. He lay on his back and turned his face towards her.

"Just kick me out if you need to," he told her softly.

She nodded as she scooted closer to him and propped herself up on her elbow. Letting go of his hand she raised it, trembling, to his face and traced his cheek with her thumb.

"You don't have to take all the steps tonight Sam, you know I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

"I know," was all she said as she let her thumb trace his lips. He gasped at the unexpected touch and her eyes flew to his. All she could see was love and desire.

'Why would he want you?' the voice in her head snarled. 'You're pathetic and weak and fat and a sorry excuse for a mother. He could do so much better. But maybe he likes the rapeable ones.'

Sam tried to ignore the voice in her head as she looked into his chocolate brown eyes. He didn't think that about her. Did he?

Slowly, Sam moved her face closer to his and cupped his cheek with her hand. She closed her eyes when she was mere centimetres away then closed the gap.

Her lips rested softly over his and she heard his breath hitch in his throat. She knew she had surprised him. She had surprised herself… and the voice in her head.

Slowly and gently she applied more pressure and patiently waited for him to respond. He didn't.

"I won't brake Jack," she breathed.

"I don't want you to regret this," came his soft reply as he softly stroked her cheek with his hand. He couldn't help but notice when she flinched slightly at his touch.

"It's just a goodnight kiss Jack. I'm pretty sure I won't."

"Just a goodnight kiss," he repeated, laughing quietly.

"What?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"You're going to be the death of me Sam. You know that, right?" he laughed as he stroked her soft hair and twirled some of it around his fingers.

"I just want to let you in," she whispered softly, looking down to his chest.

"And I appreciate that. You know I do. But Sam, don't you think this is a bit fast?" he tilted her chin up so she would meet his eyes again.

"Its been four years Jack. I just want to put it behind us. Move on. Be as much of a family as we can be. For Jake's sake. He deserves to be happy."

"What about you Sam? What about your sake? Are you happy?"

"I just want Jake to be happy. That's all I care about," she said.

"Sam, you deserve to be happy too. Jake won't be one hundred percent happy if you're not. Are you happy Sam?" he repeated, his voice full of emotion.

"No," she finally admitted. She liked to pretend she was. Even tried to fool herself, but she knew it wasn't working. Not really. Sure, she was happy with all the progress she had made over the past five months, but she wasn't happy with herself.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

'Because you're fat, ugly, blind, weak, pathetic, a sorry excuse of a mother,' the voice chanted over and over.

"Sam? Why aren't you happy?" he asked again.

She swiftly removed herself from his feather light grip and curled up in a ball facing away from him.

'He'll never love you. You're too much work, an emotional wreck,' the voice told her.

"Sam?"

"Because I'm fat and ugly and blind. I'm weak and pathetic because I run away from my problems instead of facing them," she whispered quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear her words.

But the sharp intake of breath behind her told her otherwise. He put his hand on her shoulder, glad when she didn't flinch, and gently pulled her back so she was lying flat on the bed.

"Sam, you're not far, you look amazing and healthy. You're not blind, I doubt those glasses are strong, your eyesight can't be as bad as Daniel's. You're one of the strongest people I know, you came back to face me remember? That must have taken a lot of guts! Therefore, not weak or pathetic."

"But you think I'm ugly," she sighed acceptingly.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" he laughed, disbelievingly. "How can you think you're ugly? You're the most beautiful woman I know. I've thought that for years, but when you walked back into my life five months ago, telling me all the you did…. It made you more beautiful. You're the mother of my child, you're letting me in after I done the unthinkable to you and I can't thank you enough."

"I don't think I've ever heard you say so much."

"Sam, I mean every word. And I will protect you and Jake as much as I can."

"Why?" she could understand protecting Jake. He was his son. But her?

"Because I love you. Both of you."