This is a tag for the Season 10 episode 'Prime Suspect'.

Tony's day had barely started and it had already gone to hell in a handbasket. Tony prided himself on being a team player so perhaps he should have got some solace from the fact that his misfortune had cheered his co-workers up a lot. And, to be fair, they probably needed cheering up. While Tony and Ned Dorneget had been on assignment to the Bahamas the rest of the MCRT had been working on a 'case' brought to their attention by Gibbs' barber.

FLASHBACK

Frankie Dean had confided in Gibbs that he was concerned that his son Cameron fitted the description of a mass murderer being sought in DC. Tony wasn't sure why, but Gibbs seemed to be attached to his barber … perhaps he was the only barber in DC who would agree to cut his hair like that? Tony reckoned that if his barber cut his hair that way – well, he wouldn't be going back for a repeat performance.

Whatever the reason, in typical Gibbs fashion the team was soon focussed on trying to find the real killer but, in the process, had inadvertently alerted Metro PD that Cameron Dean fit the profile. Tony considered that they were all lucky that Cameron had somehow managed to forgive his father for suspecting him but then he realised that, in his experience, sons were supposed to forgive their fathers even if such forbearance was rarely reciprocated.

Still, the case had been solved. Dorney and Tony had been successful in their trip to the Bahamas although Ned had returned with his first case related black eye. Dorney had also found out that he had, thanks to Tony, been studying unnecessarily for a GS-11 exam and had been about as pleased to find out as Ziva had been a few years before but Tony had dismissed that as a small blip on an otherwise successful conclusion to their case. Until that morning - when he discovered that his expenses claim for the Bahamas had been rejected on the Director's orders and that the claims for the previous two years were to be audited. The note on the rejected claim advised him that he had an appointment with the auditors in an hour's time.

END FLASHBACK

"That'll teach you," said McGee. "It's probably karma for leading Dorney on."

"I didn't see you telling Dorney the truth," snapped DiNozzo, "Or you, Ziva."

Ziva shrugged, "I did not want to rain on your party."

"Parade, Ziva. Rain on my parade, not party," said Tony wearily.

"Two years, huh?" said McGee. "That's not going to be pretty." He saw Tony's glum face and was moved to pity, "You want me to help? I can collate your submissions. Maybe put them on a spreadsheet for you?"

"Thanks, McPity," said Tony. "I'll let you know. Appreciate it, though."

"And Tony," said Ziva, also feeling sorry for her co-worker, "If it is any comfort, I benefitted from reading the NCIS handbook."

"Thanks, Ziva," said Tony, "No, it's not much comfort … but, as before, I appreciate the effort. I'm going to the breakroom. I need … something."

A few minutes later, as Tony was sitting morosely in front of a mug of cooling hot chocolate, he became aware that Ned was standing in front of him.

"Come to gloat some more, Neddie?" he asked bitterly.

Dorneget shuffled uncomfortably, "No. I came to apologise."

"For what?"

"For being pleased you're being audited and …"

"Go on," said Tony magisterially.

"Well, and to say thank you, I suppose."

Tony was surprised and lost the magisterial air, "Thank you? For what?"

"I learned a lot from you when we were in the Bahamas."

"You got a black eye," said Tony.

"But we got the bad guy," pointed out Ned.

"That is true," said Tony.

"And it was useful reading the handbook."

"Huh, unlikely as it seems, you have something in common with our resident ninja."

"I do? You mean Ziva?" said Dorney with a pleased smile dawning on his face.

"The very same. She said it had been useful to learn all the regs."

"She was right. It meant I knew that you couldn't make me run errands for you."

"That's true, Grasshopper. See how my methods are complex and mysterious?"

"They're certainly unconventional," said Dorney, "And I didn't see them recommended in the handbook …"

"The handbook is more for guidance," said Tony loftily.

"But they worked. I'd have been too scared of you to fight back if I hadn't read the regs," said Dorney.

"So you're not scared of me now?" said Tony in a disappointed voice.

"No, I don't think I am," said Ned confidently.

Tony laughed, a rather chilling, disturbing laugh. The smile faded from Ned's face. Tony crooked his finger and Dorney, with some reluctance, leant forward to hear what Tony had to say,

"Oh, Grasshopper … that was just the first lesson. There is so much more to come."

Dorney gulped and took a step back.

Tony decided to be merciful, "But that won't be for a long time. And, meanwhile, you did good. You should be proud, Dorney. You were a good partner."

Dorney almost stood to attention, "Thank you. And I'm sorry that it was through me that Director Vance found out about me studying for the GS-11 test."

"Excuse me?"

"Director Vance. It was he who told me that the test was obsolete. And he said …"

"What did he say?"

"He said we should teach you a lesson."

"He did, did he?" said Tony.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

Tony rose to his feet, "Thank you, Dorney. That's very interesting. Here, throw this away, I don't want it anymore." He held his mug out to Dorney.

"But," stammered Ned, "I don't have to run errands for you …" He trailed off as he encountered Tony's cool gaze which was oddly intimidating. "But, it would be a pleasure," he added hastily, "Sir."

"Better," said Tony. "And you'd better hope that Agent Gibbs doesn't find out you had a hand in getting me audited."

"Why?" asked Dorneget paling at the idea that he had excited the wrath of Gibbs.

"You really think that Gibbs is going to be happy at the thought that I'm going to be tied up with the Finance department for days to come? Being a man down? Huh! Good luck with that, Dorneget." And with that, Tony swept past a stunned Ned who decided to beat a hasty retreat to the evidence garage.

NCISNCIS

It was as Tony had predicted: the MCRT were a man down while his expense claims were audited but Ziva, Tim and Gibbs couldn't help but notice that Tony was succeeding in putting a very brave face on his ordeal. If they didn't know the horrors of being audited they might even have thought that he looked happy.

Finally, a week after the dreaded audit began, Tony arrived in the squad room one morning to find a thick interoffice envelope on his desk.

Ziva and McGee hovered sympathetically: they might both tease Tony (a lot) but when the chips were down, they would have his six.

"I got you a coffee," said Ziva. "I had Barbara the barista to make it just the way you like it."

"Thanks, Ziva, appreciate it," said Tony.

"And I got you a donut," said Tim, placing it gently on the desk. "Lemon and cinnamon, your favourite."

"Thank you, McGenerous," said Tony.

"So," said McGee, "Looks as if Finance have finished with you." He pointed to the envelope.

"I am sure they will find some convivial way to make the adjustments," said Ziva sincerely.

Tony's brow wrinkled as he tried to translate this, "Oh," he said, "You mean congenial … thanks, Ziva."

Tony didn't look worried as he opened the envelope and read the contents. He refolded the pages and put them back in the envelope and then seemed to become aware of his anxious audience, "What?" he said innocently.

"What do you mean, what?" asked McGee. "You've just been audited. That can't be good."

"You can tell us, Tony," said Ziva gently, "We will help you if we can."

"Oh," said Tony nonchalantly, "Nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about?" asked Tim. "What do you mean?"

Tony removed the papers from the envelope and handed them to Tim, "See for yourself," he said.

Ziva and Tim pored over the documents and then looked at Tony in amazement.

"They say that your claims are model examples …" said Tim.

"That they want to use them as training material for new recruits," said Ziva.

"Yes," said Tony, "And they decided that I'd probably been underclaiming because I'm so used to working sixteen hour days that I forgot I could claim subsistence for duty over our allotted hours when working on out of town cases. They owe me," Tony took the letter back, "$4562.76."

"They owe you money?" said McGee.

"Who'd have thunk it?" said Tony jovially. "Guess the drinks are on me tonight. Oh, whoops, not tonight."

"Why not tonight?" asked Ziva suspiciously.

"I have a date tonight. With the lovely Shelley."

"Shelley? Shelley Jackson?" asked McGee.

"The very one," confirmed Tony.

"Shelley Jackson from Finance?" asked Ziva.

"Yes. We bonded over my expense claims. She found their clarity to be … well, let's just say that the most unexpected things can be a turn on," said Tony dreamily. "Oh hey, Dorney! How are things?" He had spotted Ned walking sadly into the squad room.

"Not good," said Ned. "I've got to resubmit my claim for the Bahamas trip. Ms Jackson suggested I come to you for advice?"

"Always ready to share my wisdom," said Tony kindly, "Now, if you could just run into the breakroom and get me a plate for this donut that Tim so kindly bought for me … that would be great."

Ned's brief spell of standing up to Tony had gone and he meekly took his leave.

"Director Vance!" said Tony politely as he saw the Director arriving, "A beautiful morning, is it not?"

The Director grunted something that could, optimistically, have been taken as a greeting and then continued his passage to his office.

"What's the matter with him?" asked McGee. He meant it as a rhetorical question but he happened to be looking at Tony as he said it and he saw a strange look in Tony's eyes.

"Rumour has it," said Tony blandly, "That Director Vance is going to be investigated."

"Why? What for?" asked Ziva.

"Wasting NCIS time. Triggering an unnecessary audit. It might even count as harassment … victimisation," said Tony thoughtfully. "But, like I said, it's probably just a rumour."

AN: In case you hadn't guessed, I hated the way this episode ended. So I wanted to 'fix' it!