Olivia is on the phone in her office when Casey comes through her door unannounced, without even knocking.
Olivia shoots her a look, and holds up one finger to indicate not to interrupt her.
Casey will have none of that. She walks right up to the desk and hits the disconnect button.
Olivia holds the phone away from her ear and glares at Casey.
"Seriously Casey? That was an important call." She grabs the phone and attempts to redail but Casey grabs it away from her.
"And I'm here to talk about something even more important than a damn phone call."
Olivia sighs and sits back in her chair. She's known Casey a long time, and has grown accustomed to her hard-headedness. In some cases she would even say she has a tendency to overreact.
"Okay. What's up?"
Casey takes a seat without waiting for an invitation to do so. "Alex."
At the mention of her girlfriend's name, Olivia visibly softens. "What about Alex?"
Casey is giving her a hard look. "I want you to stop breaking her heart. I hate seeing her so sad."
Olivia sighs in frustration. She doesn't want to break Alex's heart; she loves Alex. "I know I haven't been spending a lot of time with her lately. It kills me; it really does. I'm finding my groove with this job. I will make it up to her, Casey."
"I don't think you know how much you're hurting her." Casey's tone is unforgiving. "She was so excited for you to come home last night. I came over and helped her cook a really nice meal for you guys. She bought candles and roses and spread rose petals everywhere. She bought a beautiful new dress just for you, and you text her to tell her you're working late and want to go to bed when you get home? She was devastated. It was such a beautiful evening she had planned and you missed it. I couldn't stand to leave her there alone so I stayed and had dinner with her. You missed out."
Olivia shakes her head, angry with herself. She's aware of the toll this job is taking on her relationship, and the thought of Alex planning something so beautiful just for her brings tears to her eyes. She has no defense good enough for missing that. "I have no excuse. I should have been there. I'm sorry. And thank you for having dinner with her."
Casey nods slowly, her eyes still angry. "Of course. I would do anything for her. And don't apologize to me; apologize to her. And this isn't the first time you've put work before her. If you can't give yourself to her the way you used to, the way she needs, cut her loose so she can be with someone who can."
Casey's bluntness hangs in the air and at first Olivia doesn't respond. She knows Casey is right, of course, but admitting it is a different thing.
"Like you?" Olivia doesn't say it in anger or even bitterness; it's merely an observation. Olivia is a trained detective and she's long known that Casey loves Alex in a way outside of friendship.
Casey licks her lips. She would love more than anything for Alex to to be her girl. But she's not a homewrecker and is not about to make a play for someone already in a relationship, even if it is someone she loves dearly.
"If that were to ever happen, it would be because it's what Alex wants. I would take care of her and love her for the rest of my life," Casey says softly. She means every word, and Olivia knows it.
Olivia looks at her with a serious expression and holds her gaze. "I know you would, Casey."
Casey feels like she is going to cry but swallows her emotions. "But believe it or not, I don't want you guys to break up. Alex loves you. I want her to be happy. I want you both to be happy. I just want her treated like she deserves."
"You think I don't love her?" Olivia's voice is laced with pain and sadness. She truly does love Alex.
"No, I think you do. In fact I know you do. But I don't think you love her enough. Not anymore."
Olivia looks down at the top of her mahogany desk. Her heart feels like it's in a vice grip. She knew this new job was hard on her and Alex both, but she didn't realize the scope of what she was doing. What kind of impact her not being around would really have on Alex.
Alex used to be completely into her work at the expense of everything else too. She would work until late into the night every night. The only time she ever spent in her home was spent sleeping and going over paperwork and prep for her next week of work.
It wasn't until she was with Olivia that she realized she could have a life outside of the District Attorney's office.
It feels like a complete role reversal for Olivia right now. At the start of their relationship it was Alex who was so consumed by her work.
"Get off early tonight and do something for her. Something with her," Casey instructs. "I can't tell you how badly she needs it. I don't want to have to go back over to the house and fix up another broken heart tonight."
Olivia is grateful for Casey, even if she never says so. She may not always see eye to eye with her, and she definitely doesn't always get along with her, but they have one thing in common - Alex. They both love Alex and want what is best for her. And even though Olivia knows she has been in the wrong for neglecting Alex, she is thankful that Casey has been there for her.
Casey gets up, having said what she came to say. "Are you going to the DA office's dinner with Alex this weekend?"
"Yes. She always subjects me to that thing."
Casey would agree with her wording on this. Casey hates these annual dinners and avoids going at all costs. It's always the same; judges and prosecutors talking work over dinner, someone always gets drunk and makes a fool of themselves. Casey doesn't fit in, so she tends to avoid going.
"Alex wants me to go too but I tell her the same thing I always do - no way in hell." Casey laughs. "Plus I don't have a date, and you don't go to one of these dinners stag."
"You're welcome to come with us. You know that," Olivia offers.
Casey scrunches her face up. She spends a lot of time with Alex and Olivia, but doesn't do the third wheel thing. She never has. "I'll take a hard pass on that. Thanks anyway. You get to suffer through it with Alex. I definitely don't envy you."
Before Casey leaves her office, Olivia thanks her again for having Alex's best interests at heart. She knows she needs to get to work fixing things but she is extremely grateful that someone like Casey looks out for Alex. Olivia trusts her completely, and knows she really would do anything to protect and take care of Alex.
Which is why she needs to work hard to repair her relationship before she loses Alex.
.2
When Olivia gets home that evening, she finds Alex curled up on the couch with her favorite blanket. The TV is on but Alex isn't really watching it; she has the blanket pulled tightly around her and her eyes are closed.
The sight makes Olivia smile. It's not late by any means - It's only a little after seven PM, one of the earliest nights she has had in awhile. Alex must be quite tired.
She isn't aware of Olivia's presence yet, so Olivia carefully and quietly goes around to the front of the couch. She grips the box she's holding in her hands tightly behind her back and leans down to kiss her girlfriend.
The kiss awakens her sleeping beauty immediately. Olivia is alarmed when her lips brush against hot, clammy flesh. Alex's eyes are open now, and her beautiful blue orbs lock onto Olivia's.
"Hey, baby. You're warm. Are you okay?"
Alex groans and shakes her head. She forces herself to sit up and it's immeaditely clear she is not feeling well. Her hair is disheveled and she is much paler than normal.
"Pretty sure I caught Casey's stomach bug," she whines. "I felt fine all day and then it just hit me. I've been throwing up all evening. I feel like death."
Olivia's heart lurches. She hates when Alex hurts or doesn't feel well. She had been planning on taking her out to dinner and a movie. But now those plans have changed to an at home cuddle session.
Olivia sits down next to her and pulls Alex's head into her lap. She strokes her soft blonde hair. "I'm sorry, sweetie. That's how those things work. They come from out of nowhere. I hope you don't get as sick as Casey was."
It feels good to comfort her this way. It's been so long since they have been together like this. Alex gladly accepts the comfort that Olivia is providing. She groans and Olivia hands her the box she had been guarding. Alex looks at her, and Olivia just shrugs.
Alex doesn't even sit up. She just opens the box from her laying position and smiles when she sees the most beautiful pair of earrings she has ever seen. Her eyes well up with tears. "What's the occasion? Did I forget my birthday?"
"The occasion is you're you and I love you. And I'm going to be around more for you. I know I haven't been...and I'm so sorry, Alex. You deserve better than what I have been giving you."
Alex squeezes Olivia's hand. She wants to kiss her but doesn't want to spread this awful bug. So she is content to communicate with her eyes and words how much this means to her. "I love them, Liv. Thank you."
And Olivia knows. She kisses Alex's head. "I was going to take you out on a date but I guess that's kind of moot now."
"I'm sorry. I'm definitely not up for it. Casey left her anti-nausea meds she got from the doctor here and I took a couple. They knocked me right out."
They spend the evening just taking it easy. It's not how Olivia wanted to make it to up Alex, but it would have to do for now. At least she was there, and got to provide comfort to her girlfriend.
The rest would have to wait until she's better.
.3
Alex is feeling better by the weekend. She's not one hundred percent back to normal but does not want to miss the annual Distrct Attorney's dinner. Liz Donnelly will be there, Lena Petrovsky, Rafael Barba, and a slew of others. Basically anyone who is anyone is going to be in attendance. Alex has never missed it, and she has no intentions of doing so now.
Olivia is to meet her at the restaurant straight from work. Alex has decided to surprise her with the dress she bought for their date earlier in the week that Olivia never got to see. It's beautiful, after all, and perfect for the occasion. Plus Olivia will love it.
Alex, however, has run into a problem.
She has no hot water in the shower. Usually Olivia would investigate issues such as this and take care of it, but with her being at work and Alex really needing to shower, she sent Casey a desperate text message to come and help her.
Alex comes out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel wrapped around herself when she hears Casey's voice. Casey takes a look at her and Alex is sure she notices a slight blush cross her cheeks.
"There's no hot water. I need to shower. Can you fix it?" Alex wastes no time getting right to it.
"Did you try your other bathroom?" Casey asks, and Alex nods. "Alex, I know I am awesome, but I don't know how to fix a hot water heater."
Alex frowns. "You would know more than me. Can you look at it? Please?" Her eyes are pleading, knowing perfectly well that Casey will do whatever she asks her to.
And of course she does. Casey smiles her warm Casey smile and tells Alex she will try. Alex watches her head towards the basement door and feels that familiar tug on her heart that she feels whenever Casey is around.
She really doesn't know what she would do without her. Casey has come to her rescue many times, for the most ridiculous things. She's come and gotten her car unstuck from the driveway a handful time of times the past winter. She's shown Alex how to check her oil, killed countless murderous spiders that Alex was sure was out to get her. Alex always calls her her hero.
Casey reappears through the basement door just a few minutes later, and Alex is waiting right there for her. "Are you my hero again? Or do I have to call someone?"
Casey shakes her head. "The pilot light was out is all. Give it about a half hour and you should have hot water again."
Alex's first instinct is to hug Casey. She does, and Casey easily relaxes into the embrace. She loves it when Alex hugs her. There is so much care and passion behind it. The towel is barely clinging to Alex, and Casey feels Alex's flesh press against her clothes. It gives Casey goosebumps.
Casey stays for the next twenty minutes, Alex trying to convince her to come to the dinner tonight. Casey definitely has her mind set that she is not going and no matter what Alex says she won't change her mind. She tells Alex she has a date with Netflix and her bed.
Alex spends over an hour getting ready after her shower. She wants to look beautiful for Olivia. She curls her hair just so and admires herself in the mirror once she has her dress on. She doesn't like to be vain, but she thinks she looks very nice. Olivia will love it. Maybe she can even undress her later.
Alex takes a cab to the restaurant. Olivia is driving so there's no reason for her to take her car, and she tries to avoid the headache of driving in Manhattan at all costs anyway. It's maddening.
Alex is one of the first to arrive. She always likes to be early so she can mingle. She spends some time talking to Rafael Barba, mostly sharing stories about working with the SVU squad.
Seats are always assigned at these functions, and she finds her name at a table with Lena Petrovsky and her husband, Liz Donnelly and a new prosecutor named Scott that she doesn't know well.
She's the first at the table so she sits and pulls out of her iPhone. She composes a quick text message to Olivia. I'm here. I found our table. I'll see you soon.
Within a half hour everyone starts to pour in. Alex's entire table has arrived and she's introduced to Scott. She already gets a bad vibe from him. He appears very arrogant and full of himself. Much like she used to be years ago.
Olivia's absence does not go unnoticed. Liz is the first to comment, and Alex assures her she will be along shortly.
Drinks are brought to the table and they order appetizers. Some time goes by and Alex tries to engage herself in conversation but she can't stop checking her phone. Olivia was supposed to be here by now. She becomes even more nervous as time goes by. What if something happened to her?
Her worry disappears and turns to sadness when she feels her phone vibrate and reads the message. Babe - I can't make it tonight. Something came up at work. I am sorry, and I love you. - Liv
Alex feels like she is going to cry. She is angry, sad and disappointed all at one time. How can Olivia keep doing this to her?
She manages to keep her composure and doesn't let on that anything is wrong. Alex Cabot never goes without a date, so the empty seat next to her sticks out like a sore thumb. She quickly texts Casey and tells her what happened. She doesn't know why, really. She just knows that Casey will text back the right words and make her feel better.
Unfortunately Casey doesn't text her back. Sighing, Alex slips her phone back into her purse and pours herself another glass of wine. She is going to need the liquid courage to get through this evening alone.
They have already placed their dinner orders when Petrovsky looks over Alex's shoulder in surprise and says, "Casey Novak."
Alex spins around in her chair and can't believe what she sees. Casey has walked up to the table, smiling warmly. She's wearing a blue dress and heels, and Alex can't help but notice how beautiful she is. She feels that tug at her heart again.
Casey got her message after all. She hates these functions, but came for Alex. So she didn't have to be alone. Casey apologizes for being late and sits down in the empty seat next to Alex, acting as if it was the plan for her to come all along.
"Alex, you're holding out. I expected to see Olivia. Didn't know that Casey here was your plus one tonight," Liz says.
She knows something is up, but doesn't press the issue. Alex comes to the realization that everyone at the table thinks they are on a date. And neither correct them.
It was so sweet of Casey to put herself in an uncomfortable position for Alex, because she didn't want her to be here without a date. Alex smiles back and mouth the words "Thank you." She appreciates it more than she can say. Casey just nods at her.
Alex lets herself relax and stop feeling sorry for herself and allows herself to have fun. The food is delicious and the conversation is light.
Alex can tell Casey feels out of place. She reaches into her lap and takes her hand. She leans close to her and whispes, "You look really pretty."
Casey looks at her with her green eyes shining and squeezes her hand. Alex really never realized just how beautiful she is. She has the cutest smile and laugh, and it's contagious.
It's funny; she's seen Casey smile and heard her laugh more times than she can count. And she never would have described it as "cute." But right now she can think of no other way to describe it.
Casey is left out of most of the conversation, and she begins to twist her napkin in her lap nervously. She's aware that Lena doesn't like her, and is uncomfortable around Liz. Alex does her best to make her comfortable.
And Scott...neither if them know him. But it's pretty clear he's had one too many. His eyes begin to glaze over and he starts to become loud.
"Casey Novak," Scott says. She looks at him. "Aren't you the one who was disbarred?"
Alex can feel her face burning in anger. She hates, hates when people harass Casey about what happened to her. She paid the price and got past it; why can't anyone else?
Alex glares at him and opens her mouth to speak when Casey beats her to it. "Actually, I wasn't disbarred. I was censured. I lost my law license for three years." She looks away in shame. "But that's behind me now."
"How can anyone take you seriously though?" he asks. "And censured, disbarred...what's the difference?"
Casey starts to reply but Alex interupts. "There's actually a big difference. Maybe you need to go back to law school and learn it."
The table falls silent. Casey puts her hand on Alex's arm. "Alex, it's okay. Really."
"No, it's not. It's not." She's really angry now and Scott is about to know it. "Casey is a great prosecuter. She's great at her job, and deserves to be where she is. I would appreciate it if you gave her the respect she deserves."
Nothing else is said about it. Petrovsky changes the subject quickly, and Alex and Casey spend the rest of dinner holding hands. Neither know why, really. It just feels right. They can't even remember who initiated the contact, only that their hands linked together make them both feel secure.
After the dinner, Casey walks Alex to the parking lot. She drove, so offers to give Alex a ride home. They stand by her car and look at each other.
"Thank you so much for coming to my rescue." Alex turns to face Casey. A peice of her hair has fallen out of place and without thinking Alex brushes it back behind her ear. Casey closes her eyes.
It's an innocent gesture but somehow feels so intimate. Tgey stare into each other's eyes and Alex realizes she would love nothing more than to kiss her right now. And judging by the look in Casey's eyes, she would love that too.
But she doesn't t do it; she can't do it. She's still with Olivia and is not going to betray her. Yes she's hurt her, but kissing another woman is not the way to solve it.
Casey gives Alex one of her crooked smiles, the kind that makes her eyes light up. It makes that urge to kiss her all the more harder to resist.
"You know I would do anything for you," she tells her.
Alex knowe it's true; she would. Casey is fiercely loyal and protective. She's been her best friend for six years and Alex doesn't think there's one thing she wouldn't do for her.
She's endured her two AM calls when she's been hit with insomnia and needs to talk over what's bothering her. She's picked her up at the bar when she's had one too many after a tough case - then held her hair back as she paid for it later. She calls her out when she's being too headstrong or a bitch. She's listened to her vent about Olivia, their jobs, life in general.
She's always the person that Alex turns to when she needs to forget everything. She always comes up with fun things fo do; things that wouldn't be fun if Alex wasn't with her.
Alex just likes being with her. She feels safe, like she can be herself.
But right now she feele something different about her. She feels what she felt about Olivia before they started dating. That look in her eyes that makes her stomach flutter. Her touch that makes her melt.
"Thank you for coming. I know you hate these things. But you really made me feel better. I can't thank you enough. You're wonderful," Alex tells her.
She grins. "I know that. And I couldn't let you sit there awkwardly with no date. I'm sorry Olivia did that to you."
Alex us scared to death of her feelings. She's in a relationship where she used to feel secure for years.
And now she's falling in love with her best friend.