I hope the sun will shine again for me and I will make it in the end...

The sunlight wormed its way through the slivers of the worn drapery and the slits between the fabric and the windows. It was all she could do to keep it out- the sun and its light. The light that flourished the earth with new life. And the golden star, in all its celestial glory, that would birth a new day. And with that new day brought the promise of a new beginning, the opportunity to change yesterday; a chance to do it all over again. It was the most beautiful thing to wake up to, Clarke once thought. Almost. And that was exactly what taunted her. It broke her down. Even when she literally tried getting up, it always beat her back down. So in the days that followed Lexa's death, she could not bear to see it. Or feel it. But as much as she hid herself away, it always found its way back to her.

And still, life continued on without her. The people she loved were on the outside, outside the tower, outside the walls she built around herself. The remnants of her life were but distant memories. Clarke allowed herself to miss these things, though she always felt a sense of guilt to long for them. But there could be no sun without her, no new day without her. There was no point. It was the same day over and over again. So she lost herself in the obscurity of her room. And slowly, the shadows became her confidantes and the darkness her cloak.

Clarke had turned everyone away that came to her room. Her mother, Raven, Octavia, even Indra made an appearance at her door. But Clarke would not see anyone. She was allowed that much, the right to be alone. They had given her that respect, space and time to grieve, not just for Clarke's sake, but also in respect to the Commander. As much as they both tried to hide it, even from themselves, it was painfully obvious, even humorous at times, that the Commander and Clarke were smitten with each other, possibly even in love. They all knew, Grounders and Sky Crew alike, that everything Lexa did was for Clarke, no matter what political agenda or higher reasoning she gave. The Commander could not, would not deny Clarke. So even in death, they would still honor the will of their fallen leader and accommodate Clarke's every need.

Clarke had finally mustered up the energy to raise herself off the floor she had been on for hours. Her body was in a somewhat better state after she had fallen into a deep sleep that lasted almost two days. And when she could finally stand, she knew where she had to go. She needed to be there. It was time she faced it, and she knew it. She took her time walking there, her legs shaky and body still struggling to regain control. Stopping cold in her tracks, just before the door, she felt a cold chill, a sense of dread, as she slowly opened it. Making small steps further inside Lexa's room, she crept lightly, she always did when she came to see her.

She eased her body onto the Commander's bed. Snuggling into the thick furs, she wrapped her arms around them, letting the soft material slide through her fingers. She inhaled the essence inside the fibers of the animal pelts. And suddenly, she was there. It was her. The scent she left behind. It still lingered. Lexa. Clarke felt her heartbeat through her chest, it was the same feeling, that same rush, the sensation of falling, a beautiful descent that always sent her crashing into Lexa. And all at once, it came back, flooding her mind with those last moments. That day, that last day together...

Clarke knew it was time. It was time to go and save her people once again. But this time was different. There was something, something that ached deep inside and was all over her at the same time. Something that would not let her go. With every push of her feet, her legs felt like stone, as she tried to turn and walk away from her. But this was it. It might have very well been their last time together. Fate had proven to be cruel time and time again. It would never be on their side. And as the weight of it all began to crush her, before she knew it, her lips were on Lexa's. And Lexa was kissing her back. They fell into bed in a flash, and even quicker that that, all clothes were carelessly strewn over the floor.

Lexa had worked her way, her mouth and lips, her tongue over the soft expanse of the blonde's body. Clarke became extremely aroused as she felt Lexa's body press more and more into her. Clarke opened her legs to let her settle warmly between. And still, the brunette searched her body for more places to taste. And as Lexa continually moaned softly while her mouth kissed the blonde's naked body, Clarke panted, softly, warmly, feeling the Commanders arousal seep inside her..

She remembered how Lexa hesitated when her lips finally made their way to her legs. Lexa nuzzled the inside of her thighs with her cheeks. She marveled at the softness as if she had never felt such a thing. The Commander then ran her lips, with a feather's touch, letting her them leave a moist trail along the inside of Clarke's thighs. And when she finally got there, to that place, her center, Clarke remembered how she melted seeing the shy and awkwardness in the great Commander's eyes. It was the only time they spoke.

"Clarke…" Lexa tentatively looked up at Clarke. She could see the uncertainty in Lexa's eyes. It was the sweetest thing she had ever seen. She could have stayed staring into the dark globes that were pulling her in. But Clarke reached out and guided her face up to hers. Long, mahogany tresses, curled around her face, and she stared directly at the young woman above her. Clarke could feel the warmth of Lexa's breath, the heat of her body on hers.

This was their moment. Possibly their only moment. And they both knew that. The sky princess leaned upwards and kissed the Commander, moaning at the sweetness that stained Lexa's lips, which earned an even softer moan from the girl above her. Feeling themselves skin to skin, as their bodies brushed delicately together, they each began to crave more. Lexa couldn't tear her lips away from Clarke's. She didn't know how she had ever gone this long without them. And the moans coming from the blonde, sent the Commander into a headspin. Simply put, she wanted nothing more than to devour her.

The blond below fell into a trance as she felt Lexa sucking up mouthfuls of her body. But she was wanting something more. She began to get frustrated, hoping Lexa would pick up on it, but the Commander was caught in her own daze.

Clarke slightly raised her body, grabbing one of Lexa's hands, and gently placed it on her center. Not inside but just above, on top, letting the hand softly stroke it. Startled, Lexa pulled away slightly to look into the blonde girl's eyes, her breath caught as the blues she looked into were veiled with black undertones. The brunettes face fell slightly, a little unsure of herself, in that crucial moment. She was still protective of Clarke, even in spite of herself. And Clarke could instantly see the war brewing inside the Commander's eyes, the uncertainty that clouded them.

And the blonde girl reassured her, as she guided Lexa's finger inside her. Then three. And suddenly, Lexa lost all restraint, seeing Clarke gasping softly under her. The pleasure in her moans, a slight pained expression on her face.

" Are you ok…" Lexa breathed out, just above Clarke's lips, her voice slightly shaken, her pleasure robbing the air in her lungs. Clarke barely nodded a yes, with a faint whimper. Lexa's fingers still dipping inside her.

"Does it hurt…" the brunette worriedly replied. She studied Clarke's face intently, the blonde's eyes still shut.

" Yes…" The blonde half gasped, half moaned, squirming. Clarke immediately felt Lexa begin to pull back and opened her eyes to see worry and concern in the green eyes above her.

" No… it's a good hurt.." Clarke whimpered out, as she pushed Lexa's fingers back inside and further inside her. And with that, all apprehension, all doubt, completely vanished. Lexa finally dipped her head below, in between the legs that held her wonder, a mystery, a treasure, and lost herself. And for awhile, it came became her home. She didn't want to be anywhere else but inside….

It was the first time she had ever made love. She was no virgin, that was certain. The few sexual encounters she had experienced were no more than quick and meaningless flings, even with Finn. But that day, her first time with Lexa, she made love, in the most sweetest, purest, and unequivocally honest way either one had ever experienced. They bared everything to each other physically, emotionally. Everything they been waiting for, everything they had to hide, the wanting and longing they buried deep within themselves, had been set free.

Clarke opened her eyes, soft and wet. Her memories were so powerful, she felt like they were there again. She smiled through her tears, though they now came out in waves. She was losing Lexa all over again. Her face started to burn, her skull throbbed in pain. It had all compressed itself inside her, the pain, the anguish, the sorrow. After days of mourning, Clarke's eyes were battered, worn and withered. She had taken everything she possibly could. Overwhelmed again, she collapsed on Lexa's bed. And like many times before, she cried herself to sleep. But she slept undisturbed. The comfort of being on Lexa's bed, the ghost of the Commander all around her, lulled her into a sound slumber. And she was at peace. For that moment.

Hours later, she felt her arms twitch slightly, as she was very slowly coming out of her rest. Her eyes sealed tighter as she tried to let herself fall back to sleep. Before she could even process that she was on her feet, she launched herself from the bed, on full attack mode, charging towards an intruder, who had just inched inside the room.

"Clarke wait, please… you need to hear this!" The intruder shouted, as she slammed his body against the door, elbowing her arm against his throat.

"No...wait, no…" he began to choke on his own saliva as it started to collect inside his throat.

She loosened her grip, just slightly from his neck. Clarke quickly unsheathed a blade hidden from the back of her blouse and pressed it firmly against his throat.

The metal broke through the skin, small droplets of blood began to slip down his neck. Her hands were ready to plunge the blade further in. She was at the point of no control, as her rage pushed her towards vengeance.

"Please… if you kill me… you will never see Lexa again!"