Toaster Woes
Summary: After Junpei rejects Yukari's offer, Aigis volunteers to have her nails done. Hijinks ensue.
"Let me do your nails."
"Never."
"What if I set you up with a cute girl from archery?"
Junpei mulled over the offer in his head. There was a cute looking brunette that Yukari always hung out with after school, but was it really worth having his nails painted? Her favorite color is pink. Not a particularly good look for walking around a busy port town with, nor fighting demons with. He told her as much.
"What if I chip a nail while beating up a Maya?"
"Stupei, I'm painting them. Not extensions."
Again, he thought about what she said. What was an extension, and what was the difference? When he looked at Yukari's nail magazines, it all had the same hand model doing the same thing on the cover. Not entirely sure what she expected, Junpei tried returning to his cup of instant ramen. Or what was left of it, after Akihiko asked for a bit of it. Boxing must be a ton of work, because that boy eats his weight in noodles every night.
Aigis piped up from across the room. "Yukari, can you do my nails?" Tossing her head to the side, Aigis looked on inquisitively. She was starting to get body language down, but her voice could use some work. Having a robot ask anything from across the room was intimidating.
Junpei answered for her. "Don't your fingers, like, shoot bullets?" Yukari and Junpei shared awkward glances, and looked to Akihiko for support. He was lost in his fitness magazine, and Mitsuru was probably upstairs working on the computer. The two underclassmen had an unspoken agreement to let Minako and Mitsuru teach Aigis about the world, because Junpei was decidedly the worst teacher of all time. Unfortunately for all parties, Minako spent every night in the mall, either singing karaoke or talking to the shady CEO of that dumb TV sales show.
It was up to them. Oh no.
Aigis walked over to the duo, insisting that she get her nails done. "Yes, but you can still paint them. I would like to be as human as possible," she added innocently. In response, Yukari stammered. It was hard for her to say no, and even harder to say no to kids. And Aigis is essentially a kid trapped inside the body of a cute teenage girl, evidenced by her obliviousness with all things related to boys. Yukari sighed, and tried to find another reason to give it up.
"Well, to paint nails you should soften them and file them first, and I don't think getting water on your hands is a good idea?" She posed it as a question, but it wasn't a question. It was a no, and any human would have understood that. However, Aigis is not a human.
"I am waterproof."
"Wait, wait, wait," Junpei interrupted. His face spelled disaster, as if he had been holding in something to say for the past few minutes. Which it has: he contemplated this idea for days by now, and this conversation made it so much more relevant.
"Aigis, how do you shower? Don't you like short circuit or something?" Aigis cocked her head curiously, not entirely understanding. Junpei tried to offer some context.
"You know, like a toaster?"
Crickets. Junpei looked at the oppressive atmosphere of the room, Yukari's cognac eyes raging against their cage, pleading to punch Junpei. Even Akihiko looked up from his magazine. Aigis spoke for the room.
"I am not a toaster. I am a girl." Yukari and Akihiko glared at Junpei as if he was a depraved beast. Aigis was just confused in her innocence, so she decided to clarify for Junpei in the odd case he actually forgot who she was.
"Haha, no! You're not a toaster! I just thought, you know, maybe getting some water on you would short circuit you, like bringing in a toaster to the shower? So I thought it might be funny if, you know, you went into the shower and you discharged like a toaster?"
"Junpei," Akihiko warned. "She's not a toaster. Quit while you're ahead!"
"I mean, it's not so bad to be a toaster! I love toasters!"
The dirty looks from Akihiko and Yukari bored holes into his soul. Aigis slowly turned around, walking to the dining table that Junpei typically used to kick his feet up. "Wait," she asked.
'Oh no, she's going to hate me forever. I ruined the team. Where am I going to go? They're going to kick me out of the dorm, I'm so sorry Aigis. I didn't mean to call you a toaster. But, it's not like a toaster is a bad thing! Robots love being toasters! They're useful!' His mind racing, Junpei withstood Akihiko's lecture for him, his face terrified every second. He was harsh, reminding Junpei that toasters are people too, and that he should think about people's feelings before he opens his "big mouth" to "talk smack." Yukari stared him down, as a good cop would support the bad cop during a confrontation.
Aigis broke the silence.
She lifted up an adorable doodle done in sharpie, and hung above her head for the room to see. The chibi drawings greeted the light, and their simplistic style proved Aigis was learning. The sign read, "JUNPEI LOVES TOASTERS" with Aigis's self portrait standing next to a chibi Junpei. She even got the soul patch right.
When Minako got home from belting her heart out at karaoke, she felt a bit more pep in her step. Coming up to the dorm, she could hear loud laughter, even from Akihiko. Akihiko never laughs.
She decided to stealthily approach the door, and see if she could get any words out of the hushed whispers through the walls. Minako tiptoed up the steps, and was surprised to see a little white sign on printer paper. Instead of saying the dorm hours, or 'Go home,' she read a little sign that said "aigis is the best TOASTERS" with a cute rendition of Junpei smiling at Aigis. With bread coming out of her head. Junpei's chicken scratch of handwriting strongly contrasted Aigis's all caps, and they decided to leave the S on toasters. Next to Junpei's scribbles was a block of black, which read "JUNPEI LOVES" crossed out.
"What the hell," Minako decided. It was less of a question, more of a surprise that everyone got along together so well. Even with a toaster.