Chapter 2
[Helga]
This is the last time I will do it.
I grab my pocket knife from my drawer and hide in my shrine-less closet, I have put up with all of Bobs insults but this is just too much.
Ok father, I know I'm not as pretty as Olga, or smarter, charismatic, or perfect… but did he really have to say all of what he said.
I'm washing the dishes because Miriam is passed out on the couch again, and Big Bob is sitting on his ass watching t.v
"Hey Olga, make me a sandwich since you're not doing anything." Big Bob yells from the trophy room, ok it's really a living room but it's filled with all 153 trophy's and 1st prize ribbons from Olga. I however have 1 crappy ass ribbon from this poetry contest I entered. It's under Olga's winning and success that suppresses the only thing I have to show.
"Crimeny Dad, I'm washing the dishes, just give me a second." I say just as loud. Why can't he get up from the couch for once?
I take out the white bread, some ham, mustard, mayo and cheese from the fridge. To toast the bread or not to toast it? That is the question…. Un-toasted I decide, since the toaster doesn't work. I slap everything together and give it to Bob.
"Here's your sandwich." I say bitterly
"Yeah whatever" he takes the sandwich from my hands and takes a bite off it "Damn it Olga, you put too much mustard on it. Are you that incompetent that you can't even make a fucking sandwich? You are such a waste of Pataki blood."
"Bob, the last time I put mustard you told me it wasn't enough and the next time that I should put 2 tablespoons of mustard. Guess I did what you told me too, so if you don't like it don't eat!" I start to yell
"You're so stupid, your sister always made the best. If only you were half the girl Olga is then maybe I would actually be proud to call you my daughter. You're worthless Helga, just get out of my sight."
"Oh so now you only call me by my actual name, only to insult me!" I spit out
Just as I say that check feels like it's been burn, Bob's fucking palm is hard as fuck. With that blow to the face, I manage to somehow loss my balance and ended up on the floor. I hate his guts so much, as soon as I have the money I'm moving out.
"That's what you get for talking back!" he says shouting at me "Now go upstairs before you make me sick."
I glare at him with hate in my eyes as I stand up and go upstairs. I go lock the door to my room as tears flow from my eyes.
Thanks for pointing out the obvious Big Bob; I know I will never be Olga. I hold the pocket knife and lock myself in the closet. I have my bloody towel that I used and some bandages; I press the knife to my thighs this time, as blood runs along my leg. I don't cute myself to be emo, I do it because for just a second I'm not focus on my emotions, it's only physical pain. The only one that knows about it is Sid; I don't even have the guts to tell Phoebe because she cares too much for me. I give myself two more cuts and then finally bliss settles over me.
I clean myself up and just lie in my closet and close my eyes, just as I'm relaxing my phone goes off. 'Help I'm Alive' by Metric is ringing and ringing as I decide whether to answer or not. I look in the caller ID, its Sid. I'm actually happy he called. I take a deep breath and answer my phone.
"Hey Sid" I say in a mono tone way
"Helga what's wrong?" Sid asks
Damn it Sid, why do you know me so well.
"Nothing, why?" I say trying to fool him and myself as well
"Helga I know you to well, I know that voice, that's the voice you use when you're trying to hide something."
"Damn you Sid, I hate you. You know me to well."
"Yeah whatever, I hate you too, spit it out already Helga."
"Sid… I… I did it again. I know I said I wasn't going to do it again but I just needed that escape."
"Damn it Helga, I told you to call me whenever you felt like doing it again!"
"I know, I know crimeny, I don't need you to yell at me too Sid!" I say
"Sorry Helga, do you want to talk about what happened?" He says quietly
"Actually yeah, I need to get out of the house. I'll meet you at the park in 15."
"Ok, I'm way ahead of you; I'm already on my way."
"You're such a loser Sid; I'll meet you there then."
I love Sid he always makes me feel better; we became really good friends even after we broke up. As much as I wanted to move on without Arnold, I just couldn't, it wasn't fair for Sid. I change my clothes to some black skinny jeans, my favorite Beatles 'T' and some pink converse and my infamous pink beanie.
I grab my keys and take the bus to the park, as I suspected it Sid was already waiting for me by the swings with two coffees in his hand. I can't help but smile at him; every time I need to talk to him he always gets coffee with donuts.
"Did you bring the donuts?" I say
"When don't I?" Sid says, I hate him when he does that, answering my question with a question. Smart ass
"Oh shut up and give me that." I say grabbing my coffee and sitting next to him on the swing
"So what's really wrong Helga?" He says,
As I tell him everything he just sits there and listens to me, it's so nice that I don't have to hide myself around him. I didn't need to tell him about my cutting either, because he saw the scars but he didn't need an explanation, he just sort of knew.
When we were going out everything was going great, until our 5 month anniversary. Let's just say our hormones where going crazy, I was taking of his shirt and he was taking of my pants when he suddenly saw them. My scars, I pulled up my pants as I shoved him and yelled at him to leave. I didn't want to be that bully but I didn't want him to see me like that. I tried to push him away but he just hugged me and promised me that everything was going to be ok.
I hugged him back and for the very first time in my life I told him everything, even about Arnold. I didn't need to put up walls or anything. It was just me and Sid talking. I will always love him for that, I tried to make myself fall in love with him but my tries were all useless. I will always love Sid but I will never be in love with him as long as I' am in love with Arnold.
"Helga, you'll turn 18 pretty soon. I think you should move out as soon as you have the funds for it. I hate your dad for always making you feel like shit!" Sid says angry
"That's exactly what I plan to do Sid, even if it's just enough for the crappiest apartment in the city I don't care; as long as I don't have to put up with the old man!" I say
Sid gets up from the swing and hugs me very tight, almost as if he wants to protect me from something; I hug him back with tears forming in my eyes. I hold them back however, I hate crying in public it just shows I'm weak.
"Are you feeling better?" Sid asks me
"You know, I actually feel 100x better. Thank you Sid for always being there for me, I don't know what I would do without you."
"Good, because I wanted to ask you something and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."
"If you want to ask me out one more time Sid, I swear I will take Old Betsy and the five avengers out of retirement." I say jokingly
"No it's not that, I think I have dealt with enough rejection from you Helga." He laughs at my dismay
"Oh ok well what is it long john?" He never seems to mind about his nick name since his nose reminds me of a Long John.
"How do you feel about seeing Arnold at school again? Sid says choosing his words carefully
"Well I don't know yet, I'll tell you when I actually see him in school next week…. But to tell you the truth Sid I have no idea as to how I'm going to react, and it scares me. Do you have a square by any chance?"
I say
"Yeah but I only got Newport." He says taking out the cig, Sid and me started to smoke our freshman year when we went to a senior party. We usually smoke a pack a month, because we only smoke when we have our heart to heart conversations.
"That's good enough for me." I grab a square and lite it up with my Beatles lighter that Sid gave me for my 16th birthday. He was the reason I started to listen to The Beatles, I knew who they were when I was younger but I never really listened to them until Sid burned me a copy of their White Album. Now I own all their stuff and even some solo work from each Beatle.
Big Bob is a bastard, poor Helga.. Well anyways I felt inspired and I wrote out chapter 2 last night, then fell asleep at like 3am haha
Anyway Reviews are greatly appreciated :D