"To Courage!"
For the leaving Feast, Hermione finished tying her school tie and adjusted her robes, preparing herself mentally to go down to the Great Hall and face all her classmates and Professors.
Her shoulders tingled as she thought of Professor Snape.
Her face still felt flushed as she remembered the searing heat of his gaze when she entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts examination room. She had done brilliantly that day, surpassing Ron and almost beating out Harry.
However the glory of her day was stolen from her when she saw the Potion Masters face.
He was not amused. His dark eyes held anger and disgust! Disgust!
Ducking her head shyly and hurriedly shaking the hand of the Auror Recruiter, Hermione raced out to the hallway and was not seen for the rest of the day.
Because it was summer, most of the students had convened at the Black Lake. Swimming and tossing treats to the giant squid, they had found relaxation from the warmth of the Hogwart's grounds and the summer sun, well, all except Hermione.
She had cast a cooling charm in the empty dormitory and had curled up on her canopy bed with the curtains drawn.
Now that her exams were done, she was glad for the chance of mental relaxation, the quiet respite. She was disappointed and frustrated however when it did not come so easily.
She felt guilty in her heart, although she did not know why. To be sure, she cared for Snape, and she was attracted to him. The forces that drew their paths together were dark and perilous, and yet she did not begrudge fate for bringing him to her. But still guilt lingered, because she knew becoming an Auror was something that he did not wish for her, especially with the War.
She only knew that she had to contribute to the War and the preservation of the wizarding world, and becoming an Auror seemed the best way possible. It was dangerous and yet, Hermione felt that all the years she had been sheparding Ron and Harry through Hogwarts had prepared her for this kind of work. It was where she belonged.
She was small but she knew she had strength. Her brilliance in Potion work and Spells would give her the edge up she needed to become proficient in defense.
Yes, this was where she felt most comfortable. Nobody questioned her descision. She was Harry Potter's best friend and everyone more or less assumed that she would follow him wherever he went. Ron too.
Everyone in the Order would applaud her descision. Her parents were dead, murdered the previous year, so there were no ties to holding her to the muggle world. She had to do what she could to tie herself to the wizarding world and cement her status in it. She promised that she would make the wizarding world proud of her.
The Potion Master had looked disgusted today.
Hermione wanted to cry for disappointing him, but damn! She had no choice and it was where she belonged. She knew that Severus cared for her, but he was not in love with her. His protective urges sprang from years being a teacher and seeing Hermione as a child.
Well, she was an adult now. Even though she was still dressed like a student, albeit for the last time, she felt all the cares and worries of an adult wizard today.
Running her fingers through he bushy brown hair, she glanced at the Sleakeazy's Potion on the dresser. There was no time. Her hair would have to remain it's bushy self today.
Steeling herself, she went out into the Common Room and through the Portrait hole.
At the Feast...
Hermione laughed with Harry and Ron. For awhile, it felt like the War wasn't happening. She smiled indulgently while Ron inhaled copious amounts of food. She looked on with warmth while Harry had his arm around Ginny, while she held his hand. Everything seemed warm and safe. The ceiling was glittered with stars and moonbeams, giving the Hall the air of serenity and peace.
She knew that the Potion's Master was looking down at her from the dias, but she found that she didn't care anymore. Let him think what he wanted. After all, he was not in love with her, he made that clear from the start.
She wished that he was. It would ease the stark terror in her heart when she thought about the upcoming marriage law. Harry had Ginny, Ron had Lavender and no doubt there would a pity part conducted by Mrs. Weasley to push forth a Weasley Candidate for Hermione.
Inwardly Hermione cringed at the thought of George or Fred crawling across the bed covers at night. No doubt they would put a prank or joke in her lingerie drawer and think it a turn on.
No, definitely not a Weasley.
But not a Snape, because he did not want her.
What he wanted was Harry's mother Lily. He never said her name in Hermione's presence but she could put two and two together. The pictures of her hidden in a drawer in his study, his penchant for women with green eyes, his lack of personal relationships,and lastly his doe patronus.
Hermione knew. Nobody else had a clue, but she knew where the Potion Master's heart lay.
It was buried with a dead woman.
But Hermione was not dead and she knew it. Whatever lay outside this school, tomorrow, as well as the outcome of the War was for the living.
Hermione raised her goblet and rose to her feet, Ron and Harry looked at her expectantly.
"To courage!" she said. The boys rose and raised their goblets.
"To courage" they echoed her. Chairs scraped and the Gryffindor table stood up.
"To courage" they chorused.
Turning around slightly, Hermione raised her glass to the teacher's table.
"Well?" her mind asked. Snape looked down at her, his hooked nose long and menacing.
"To courage!" Dumbledore boomed.
"To living" she thought. "Because that's what it takes to live, courage. Severus Snape is a coward."
Hermione smiled as she said a silent goodbye to her childhood home.
Grimmauld Place...
Hermione winced as the cold water ran red. Blood dripped onto the white porcelain basin. A huge gash on her cheekbone gushed blood.
A simple Episkey would have done it. Then again, the cut was on Hermione's face, the skin was delicate and more prone to scarring if it wasn't done right. Harry and Ron would have done it anyways, not caring if it scarred. Particularly Ron. He would have thought that the scar looked macho.
She sighed and decided that she would wait until Mrs. Weasley got here tomorrow. She would know how to fix it without overdue scarring. Fred and George were always blowing things up around Ginny.
She stripped off her Auror training robes and left them in a pile on the bathroom floor. Wearing a blood spattered tank top and shorts, she left for the kitchen to get some water and muggle aspirin that she had stored there.
Sitting at the kitchen table was Sirius Black. Drinking coffee and reading a newspaper, he barely glanced up as Hermione went quickly to the cabinets to pull down a glass and the aspirin.
"You know thats going to scar" he said, without looking up from his paper.
"Yes, I know. I am just waiting for Molly to get here tomorrow. She will know something to fix it."
"I can do it" he offered.
Hermione paused as she set down her glass, half filled. "Really? You know how?" she asked cautiously.
"I do indeed" the ex-marauder smirked. "Being on the run, well, you learn how to take care of and heal yourself."
"I know how to do Episkey" Hermione told him. " If it was just that, I would go ahead and do it myself, but it might scar. I am sure that you know how do it as well too, but scarring does not strike me as a priority on your list of survival skills whist on the run."
"No, it wasn't" he admitted, looking down at his forearm, which was crisscrossed with fine webs of scars. "I have my scars because I did not care. In fact, I thought that I deserve them. I still do."
Hermione was silent as she watched him.
"Still, it does not mean that I do not know the finer work of keeping scars off a lovely young woman's face."
Hermione smirked. "Easy there, Black."
Spreading his hands in front of him, Sirius gave a small smile. "I mean no harm Hermione."
"You reminded me of Lucius Malfoy for a moment."
"Please do not link me to the Purist Ass" Sirius said.
"You are related to him" Hermione said.
"And Hitler liked dogs, so what?" Sirius told her. "Thats the trouble with the wizarding world today. Everyone is related to everyone. This Marriage Law was something that was talked about in my youth. Now the need is greater. We are slowly dying out. The War is making things happen quicker."
"I wonder why...well the Dark Lord does not realize this and quit it" Hermione pondered aloud. "You are right and if this keeps up he will have nothing to rule over."
"I think he is trusting the Ministry to come up with this asinine law. Dirty work first and then more dirty later."
"Yes. I suppose. Someone told me awhile ago that both sides, Dark and Light wanted this Law."
"Was it the Greasy git?"
"What?" Hermione's brain went on alert. She licked her lips and told herself to choose her words carefully.
"Snape. Was it Snape?" Sirius asked.
"Yes. He told me" Hermione said in a calm tone.
"I know, Hermione. No need to play demure with me."
"Know what?" Hermione's face was calm but inward her heart was dancing a polka.
"Do you really wish for me to say it aloud?" Sirius asked with a grin on his face. "From the first time I could smell him all over you."
"That's disgusting!" Hermione cried. "You pervert..."
"No my dear, he is disgusting, and well...a pervert...who can that be?" He chuckled darkly.
"How dare you!"
"How dare him?" Sirius asked. "Really, Hermione, where did you famous brain go? Was he playing mind games on you? Did he Imperio you? Because, frankly thats the only way I could imagine you letting him touch you."
"He did neither of those things" Hermione said. She grabbed her glass of water and aspirin and sat down at the table.
"He was a perfect gentleman." Hermione thought of Severus's long white fingers and how strong they were.
"Hmm..." Sirius said. "You really need to let me fix that cheek."
"I told you that I was going to wait for Molly."
Hermione gasped as she felt the tip of Sirius's wand against her face.
"Delite Perfecto" he murmured. Hermione felt her skin tingle as it knit itself together.
"There" Sirius said drawing back as he surveyed his work. "There is a fine line, but it should disappear, much quicker than a scar."
"I hope so," Hermione murmured, still fazed. "Or I am going to find you and have Kreacher put something horrible in your tea."
"He is all too willing" Sirius said with a smile. Hermione smiled back at him and downed her aspirin and water.
"Thank you Sirius. I trust that you won't tell anyone about me and Snape?"
"Why should I? It's not continuing anymore, is it?"
No, it isn't. I suppose you could smell that?"
Sirius nodded. "I am trying not to judge you. People do odd things in the time of War. It's not like you are Peter and you betrayed a friend."
"I think you judge people too much, Sirius" Hermione told him "But then again, given your past, maybe its to be expected."
"Sometimes I have to judge quickly in order to protect those I love. I loved James and Lily. I always had my doubts about Peter."
"I'm sorry" Hermione said, unsure of what to say.
"Don't be" Sirius waved his hand."Look, before you go to bed. There is something that I want to talk to you about."
"Are the boys sleeping?" Hermione asked. Sirius nodded. He pushed his newspaper and wand to the side and then leaned over and grasped Hermione's hands.
"It's about the marriage law." Hermione nodded.
"Well, you must know that you have to be with someone in the Order."
"For protection" Hermione mumbled.
"Yes" Sirius said. "Well, you must know that I understand your predicament. Ron is with Lavender and they will no doubt get approved and Ginny is with Harry. I know that leaves you out."
"Why, Sirius, are you proposing?" Hermione quipped dryly, removing her hands from out under his.
"No. I am suggesting Remus."
"Remus?" Hermione was dumbstruck.
"He would never ask you himself. But it could be the saving of both you. You wouldn't have to escape from the clutches of a known Death Eater like that runt Malfoy, and Remus wouldn't be branded as a Werewolf outcast."
"He talked to you about this?" Hermione rasped out, fumbling for her almost near empty water glass.
"No. I told you, he would never think to approach you, or even to think of you...in that way."
"What makes you think I think of him that way?" Hermione said in an angry voice.
"I am not saying that you have a penchant for old men, Hermione. But with the thing with Snape, I would think that you would be a bit more open minded. The wizarding world is used to marriages where the groom is considerably older than the bride."
"Remus" Hermione whispered.
"You would be saving him" Sirius reminded her.
Hermione nodded and then stood up. Without looking back, she went upstairs.