Episode 2: McDonald's Ad
Disclaimer: I do not own America's Next Top Model, Harry Potter, or McDonald's.
"Welcome, everyone, to America's Next Top Model: Harry Potter Edition and I am your host KayKrissi. Over to my left is the second host Cylobaby, and are favorite judge ever, Voldemort. And before starting the next episode, our guest judge for today is the glorious Narcissa Malfoy," said KayKrissi to the camera crew filming the show.
"You got my mother has a judge; first you teleport me here, fall mad in love with me, and then you get my mother to judge the completion. Complete Muggles, if you ask me," drawled Malfoy.
"Well, Mr. Snooty Pants, you had a rough night in the house, so I will make your mother judge you last today, love," said Kay with a large grin, blowing Draco a kiss.
"I would like you to refrain from kissing my son, Muggle," commanded Narcissa while rolling her eyes.
"I hate kisses and anything fluffy," hissed Voldemort, staring into Narcissa's eyes. "We should…hook up sometime: meet me in the graveyard."
"Voldie, do you want me to crush your soul again, like last time," shouted Cylobaby, giving Voldemort the fist.
"Ron, I cannot believe this girl can scare Voldemort, where on earth was our author when needing to create a character?" whispered Harry into the sleepy boy's ear.
"Hermione, kiss me, kiss, kiss, kiss," murmured Ron. Ron was still sleeping considering he had to share a room with Viktor Krum.
"Model, me Krum want model. Krum like model," barked Viktor out of no where.
"Shut your yap, okay, viewers back home, we will have our first challenge and photo shoot today, and then the elimination," smiled Kay looking deeply into Malfoy's blue eyes.
"Miss, oh miss, I would like the rulebook please before the contest begins," asked Hermione waving her hand up and down.
"Kay, want me to use the Fire Pit button?" questioned Cylo, who had got pleasure from getting rid of the smarter cast members.
"No, that's okay, girl. Shut up Ron's crush," Kay roared over the whole room.
"Hey, did I hear my name?" asked Ron looking up from taking a quick nap and spitting on his shirt.
"Let's just say I watched the camera tape of last night's view of the household; Neville you seem to like to hold your teddy bear. T-E-D-I-E!" said Kay with a triumphant smirk.
In the background, Cylo smacked her own forehead in disgrace. "Ginny, get up, this isn't your bedroom," growled Cylo, holding the back of Voldemort's deformed neck. "Eeew… Voldie has a slimy neck, you should stop using lavender lotion and start using …cucumber."
"I don't even own a teddy bear, Bonkers is a rabbit," corrected Neville Longbottom.
"Like I care LongButt, anyhow, the challenge is to create the best McDonald's commercial; after all this is AMERICA and AMERICAN's love Mickey Dee's," laughed Kay pulling out seven bags of cheeseburgers and fries.
"Fast food is not happy food," snickered Narcissa who was stroking Malfoy's hair "Good son, good".
"Viktor like McDonald's, what is McDonald?" asked Viktor, blinking his dark eyes in utter confusion.
"Viktor, it is a disgusting American culture to eat large amounts of fat and, may I remind you, Kay and Cylo, this is England!" shouted Hermione who was angry from earlier being shouted at.
"I want to leave this show, why couldn't we be transported to reality cooking show?" questioned Ginny, secretly wondering where her wand was.
"Because, modeling is funnier and, again, I TOLD YOU WE ARE IN AMERICA, do you want Cylobaby to come kill you?" shouted Kay.
"Finishing what Kay was trying to say, you guys will be modeling the famous Ronald McDonald suit while holding a tray of old-fashioned cheese boogers, and, Ginny, I took everyone's wands when you were asleep," Cylo stated.
"Again, that wasn't in the contract," said Harry, narrowing his emerald eyes.
"There was no contract, Fuckotter ," noted Malfoy..
"Don't use nasty words, Draco. Wait until I tell your fucking father," scolded Narcissa pointing her finger at Malfoy.
"Yes mama."
"That's better."
"Let's take a short commercial break and a view from our sponsors," concluded Kay.
Commercial:
"Kids do you like to cook," – Announcer
"Yep," – Kids
"Then watch Cooking in England," – Announcer
"Okay," – Kids
"Friday nights after America's Next Top Model is cancelled," – Announcer
Back To Your Episode:
"Back, this is KayKrissi and this is Cylobaby, welcome back to America's Next Top Model: Harry Potter Edition," giggled Kay.
"Why does it have to be Harry Potter Edition, why not Draco Malfoy Edition," snickered Malfoy dressed in his Ronald McDonald suit.
"Everyone is already suited up and it is time for the shoot to get started, the contestants will get photo IQ and then will return here for our judging elimination round," laughed KayKrissi.
"Okay, I am your camera girl and I want you to say "Yummy Boogers" after I say three, the commercial will be only that, make sure to hold the tray up straight," smiled Cylo behind the camera.
"The first to get started with Neville, go on ….Teddy Bear," sang Kay happily.
"For the last time Crazy, I sleep with stuffed rabbit...RABBIT is different then a teddy bear, geez," corrected Neville walking in front of the camera and holding the tray.
"One..Two..Three,"
"Yum..Yum..Yummy Burgers," Neville said, voice laden with sarcasm. He spoke so low it was hard to hear him under the rubber suit.
"Next, Ginny your next girl, G.I. double a grr," orderd Kay, waiting to get Neville's photo's from the printer.
"That is not the way to spell girl…," Ginny mumbled. She took her place in front of the camera while holding her tray.
"One…Two…Thr-."
"Yum Boogers, from Mickey's Pee," cheered Ginny, who thought she had said the line right.
After having Ron fall asleep in the rubber suit and everyone else going it was only Viktor and Malfoy left.
"One…Two...Four...Three,"
"Viktor Yummy me model boob-er with extra beef," growled Viktor.
"Good job, I guess," Kay praised.
"One…Two...Three,"
"Crap, Yummy Burgers made out of Fuckotter's face," yelled Malfoy.
"Don't say bad words, Dracy," commanded Narcissa for the second time. "Dammit, I broke a nail." She began inspecting her broken nail.
"Sorry, mama."
"Okay thank gosh that was over, okay get out of the judging room and we will take a look at who did the best ad, so bug off," jabbed Kay.
Everyone left the room while the judges decided on who would leave and who would stay.
"Like this guy, he is the American model after all," suggested Cylo pointing to a picture.
"No, she has the best walk I have ever seen…or is that a guy," pointed out Kay.
"I hate all of them...all of the world…all...all," hissed Voldemort, who was punched by Cylobaby.
"I like this blonde boy he is my son, yes, he is my son, right? No… yes," Narcissa murmured, picking up the picture and holding it pleadingly towards the other judges.
Hours went by and it was nerve-wrecking for the other contestants waiting in the lobby. Hermione was biting her nails, Malfoy was cursing, Ron was sleeping, Ginny was hyper, Neville was hugging his rabbit, Viktor was taking up air, and Harry was planning an escape.
"We have made picked who will stay and who will go," commanded Kay into the lobby for the cast to enter the elimination round.
"I will call out a name and the name that is not called as to bag their bags and meet me for a teleportation back home," stated Cylo, showing the cast the Fire Button.
"Harry."
"Harry, Harry, Harry! He is always first...well, of course, his name is in the name of the show," groaned Malfoy, casting a jealous glare at Harry.
"Malfoy," Cylo announced.
"Oh, was I being a nag?" he asked innocently. "I beg my pardon, that was… someone else," Draco said suddenly. He was doing the booty dance.
"Ginny."
"Ron."
"Hermione."
"Will Viktor and Neville please step forward," roared KayKrissi "You guys did the worst job of modeling, and we don't like you guys. The person I do not call will have to fallow Cylo instructions and go home. The name is …say it Cylo."
"Viktor," screamed Cylo. "Go Viktor, it's your b-day."
"You just hate me because of my stuffed rabbit," cried Neville.
"No, I just hate you," smiled Kay with a happily evil smile.
"That does all the time for today, see you next time when we are only down to six contestants. May I add that the more you review the better chance of someone not getting voted off? Love you!" concluded KayKrissi.
"America's Next Top Model was filmed without a studio audience, Neville was sent home. He also told Cylo that his home was the Fire Pit. He joins Britney Britney and whoever is going to be next to leave…"
Please Review. Help me decide who should get voted off next time.