II.
Ugh, that guy was ugly. Severus knew, of course, of some of the ruder names the students called him behind his back. But surely he was not as ugly as this one? And not as – untidy? The man's shirt was open, and the hair he had left hang in long strands over his shoulders. His eyes looked – disconcerting. This was not a normal muggle. But he had not been trained at Hogwarts, either.
Does that matter now, Severus?, he asked himself. This place is considerably warmer and drier than this forest. That is all that matters.
But this guy is really weird. Why doesn't he say anything?
"Ahm, my name is Professor Severus Snape and I - lost my way. Could you help me?"
Splendid. That should do it. Humble enough. Thank god nobody knew him here.
The guy just looked at him with these deep penetrating eyes. Snape was irritated. He was a master in this game. Staring, disconcerting staring was what he could do in his sleep. But this guy had a way of doing it that was very strange indeed. Like he knew all his secrets. The secrets below belt line, that was. Which was a ridiculous notion, even for him. He had no such secrets. Luckily enough.
The man still didn't answer. But made way for him to answer. Perhaps he was deaf. Or couldn't speak. Then of course there was no use in feeling offended. If the poor idiot wasn't able to answer, it was fine. Well, not fine, but not that bad to get really vexed with it.
He was struck as if by a gong when he entered the hall. There were a lot of people none of whom looked exactly reliable, even for wizards. He put on his haughtiest face and behaviour. But nobody took notice of him anyway. This strange guy was gone before he could ask him anything.
And then there was music and the whole group broke into the most ridiculous dance imaginable. It included some hopping and earnestly lascivious wiggling with the hips.
It was not to be endured.
But what could he do?
Besides making his worst face ever?
Exactly nothing.
He had not been allowed to take a wand – silly Dumbledore, silly Hogwarts rules, silly Ministry.
Silly him, who had obliged. Never had there been a better opportunity for a full body bind. And it would have been a task, worthy of him. Full body bind on 20 persons was really something, even if he did not approve of foolish wand waving in general.
But alas, no such luck.
And he couldn't poison them either.
Pity.
It was over. The ridiculous dance had stopped.
He tried to be very cool and British and looked for the man who had let him in. He must try to get some information that would bring him home. Home! He must be in a worse state than he thought, if he considered Hogwarts a home.
But he had never had another one, true.
There was a noise.
And the man out of reach.
The noise stopped with a swishing sound.
And out of the elevator directly near him came the strangest being he had ever seen. And that included elves and goblins and mountain trolls and Trelawney and Longbottom.
Human being?
Perhaps.
It had humanoid form, alright.
But was it man or woman?
Not that it interested him.
The being wore high heels and torn stockings. With garters. Its face was painted black and white and red. It was wearing a corset which pushed up nothing. And a tiny little panty which hid nothing.
So it was masculine, after all.
But who in their right mind would want to look like that?
Talking about right mind – how on earth had he come to think this place could only be better than Hogwarts?
The – thing – began to sing. Something about being a transvestite – who would have thought that?, thought Snape sourly, and who would go about boasting of that sorry enough fact - only a complete moron.
And for sure that he was. The potions master nearly jumped, composed as he was, and of more than average endurance, when that thing brushed and swayed against him and made a fool of himself in any conceivable way.
He so wished for his wand, he would never be without it, once he safely reached Hogwarts again.
That thing brushed his tiny little pant with the not so tiny content against him in a way which made his eyes pop out of their sockets.
Not to mention bulges in other parts of his body.
Disgusting. His body must be quite a fool. To be so deceived.
Embarrassing.
These lips sure did look awful.
Whoever would want to touch something so gleaming, glistening, something so red and black. Egad.
This body moved like an animal. Slithering, sliding, gliding.
And the sound of that voice was – disgusting.
Not to mention the things it sang of.
Seduction. Sex. Freedom of choice. Fun. All that.
Boring, really.
For his educated mind.
His body – thought something completely different.
Felt something completely different.
And it was not the only one.
All the dancers looked at that vision with eyes that told too many stories. The air was full of lust.