Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing (sadly), nor do I make any money by writing this. The song mentioned belongs to Fall Out Boy. The title of this fic is taken from the song of the same name by The Academy Is…
Warnings: Language, shounen ai/yaoi, adult themes, FTM transgender issues, eventual sexual content
Beta'd by the incredibly amazing The Manwell.
Skeptics and True Believers- Chapter Two
March 5, 2009
"Trowa, are you okay?"
Trowa opened his eyes and glanced up at Quatre. He felt miserable, and from the worry on his roommate's face he must have looked just as bad as he felt. Trowa was curled up on the couch, wrapped up in a big, fluffy burgundy blanket with only his head sticking out. His skin was pale and clammy to the touch, and he couldn't shake the dizziness clouding his head. But the worst of it was the pain. A sharp throbbing sensation stabbed at Trowa's stomach from the inside out, radiating up the small of his back. Nausea from the pain came in waves, and he could already feel the beginnings of a migraine in the base of his skull.
Trowa almost wished he had the flu; he'd have an excuse to hole himself up in his bedroom and have Quatre take care of him until the sickness passed. But he wasn't so lucky. No, what Trowa had, in his eyes, was much worse.
Every month since starting testosterone, Trowa expected his menstrual cycle to have stopped. Since starting bi-monthly group therapy sessions back in August, he'd come to know several other trans men and women, all ranging in various stages of transitioning. Most men he'd spoken with had stopped having their periods around month six of starting hormone replacement therapy, but Trowa was ending month eight and was still bleeding. His doctor said that nothing was wrong with his body and that every person reacts differently to transitioning. It didn't change the fact that Trowa was annoyed, though. His periods were always painful, even before he had started the injections, but this time it seemed different. He never felt this weak.
"Can you fix me a hot water bottle, Quat? I'm too dizzy to get up."
Quatre made a sympathetic noise and ran into the kitchen, Trowa listening as his roommate flipped the tap on the sink and waited for the water to heat up. Trowa knew that the other boy was worried about his wellbeing. He always had bad cramping and migraines during his time of the month and over the years Quatre had witnessed the pain on multiple occasions, but Trowa didn't think that the blonde had ever seen him this sick before. Generally, days two and three were always the worst and that afternoon marked day two. That meant tomorrow would be just as bad, if not worse.
When Quatre walked out of the kitchen, hot water bottle and towel in hand, the sick boy had his eyes shut tight and was shifting uncomfortably, trying to find a way to relieve some of the pain. Quatre carefully moved the blanket his best friend was cocooned inside of and wrapped the hot water bottle in the dishtowel, gingerly placing it against Trowa's lower stomach.
Trowa hissed softly at the pressure of the bottle and let his head drop back against the worn out black leather of the couch as Quatre wrapped him back up in the warm blanket. He hated that he was so damn pathetic like this.
"Thanks."
Trowa wrapped his arms around his chest protectively under the burgundy material, trying to ignore the sensitive feeling of his unbound breasts underneath his thin t-shirt. He bit down on his bottom lip to keep a tiny whimper from escaping; of course they had to be tender too.
Quatre sighed and sat down in the armchair closest to Trowa, crisscrossing his legs underneath himself.
"Maybe I should take you into the emergency room. You look awful, Trowa."
"I'll be fine. We have a show tomorrow, remember?"
Quatre groaned and rubbed his forehead. "There's no way that you can play in your condition. We'll postpone the show to after Spring Break."
"Hell no. Duo's been looking forward to this for weeks."
Trowa knew that he shouldn't push himself; there would always be other shows in the future. It wasn't like the gig on campus was a big deal, anyway, but Trowa couldn't help remembering how ecstatic Duo was when the band managed to book a set at The Pub. Duo's entire body radiated exuberance, and it made Trowa's heart swell.
He turned his gaze back to the blonde perched on the armchair, and the other boy clearly was not happy with Trowa's decision.
"Fine, but you're not going to practice today. Don't even think about arguing." Quatre narrowed his eyes into a fierce glare and his jaw tightened, leaning forward slightly in his chair.
A tiny "eep" escaped Trowa and he shut his mouth, not saying another word. Quatre could be damned scary when he wanted to be.
Duo was sprawled on his stomach on the floor of Wufei's living room, sketching only God knows what, when Quatre arrived. If Wufei was unnerved, then Quatre could only imagine what was going through Heero's head.
"I'm telling you, guys, matching outfits would be fucking sweet. We can totally rock the spandex, and- oh, hi guys!" Duo stopped mid-flail and sat up, frowning when only Quatre walked through the entryway. "Where's Tro-man?"
Quatre flopped onto the couch next to Heero and snuggled close, sighing as he rested his head on Heero's shoulder. A strong arm wrapped around the blonde's waist as he made himself comfortable. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain Trowa's absence to Duo; the longhaired brunette was still in the dark.
"He's sick, so I made him stay home."
Wufei quirked a brow at Quatre and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Sick with what? He was just fine yesterday."
Quatre narrowed his eyes and gave Wufei his best "not now" look. The Chinese boy stared at the blonde in confusion for a few seconds when his eyes widened, pulling a face and looking away.
Duo was thoroughly confused at the interaction between Wufei and Quatre. Something was going on, something that was purposely being kept from him and he wanted to know why. He felt something had been… off for a few weeks now, with Trowa, and he had planned on cornering the other boy that afternoon after practice. The tall boy always seemed to be at some sort of doctor's appointment, and when Duo had asked Heero about it in Music Theory, the other boy just said it was "nothing serious" and refused to elaborate any further.
"Is Tro gonna be okay?"
Quatre gave Duo a soft smile. "He'll be fine, just some stomach problems. He swears he'll be okay by tomorrow night."
Duo arched a brow and flicked his braid over his shoulder, letting it fall against his back.
"We can postpone, ya know. It'd give us more time to put together our outfits."
Quatre lifted his head from Heero's shoulder and frowned.
"Outfits?"
"Yeah! See, look." Duo walked on his knees over to where Quatre was cuddled with his boyfriend and handed the blonde the spiral-bound notebook he had been drawing on earlier. Quatre took the sketchpad from the other boy and when his eyes fell on the picture, his blonde brows shot up on his forehead.
Looking up at Quatre from the page were five boys clad in tight pants- Quatre couldn't tell if they were supposed to be jeans, leather or spandex- and varying degrees of near shirtlessness. Quatre couldn't help but burst into laughter, his entire body shaking in amusement. Next to him, Heero took the spiral and stared at the drawing, his brows furrowing into a look of displeasure before handing the pad of paper back to Duo.
"No."
Duo pouted and dropped the sketchpad to the floor, hopping to his feet. "Oh, come on, man. I bet Trowa would go for it!"
Wufei rolled his eyes as he recrossed his legs.
"Maxwell, you're the only one who could possibly want to go out like that on stage. I'm not wearing that."
Quatre brushed away a tear from his cheek, having calmed down from his fit of laughter. "Sorry, Duo. Let's just stick with jeans and t-shirts."
Duo sighed and flopped into the free chair next to Wufei. "Fine." Saying he was disappointed that he wouldn't be seeing Trowa in tight spandex was more than an understatement.
March 6, 2009
The UNT campus was mostly deserted when Trowa arrived the following evening, everyone without Friday classes having already taken off to get an early start on Spring Break. After a very persuasive conversation with his best friend (one which may have involved Quatre threatening to put the taller boy under house arrest with his father's company's head of security, Rashid), Trowa opted to run through the set list on his own at the apartment while the rest of the guys set things up at the campus bar. The pain in his stomach continued to scorch through his body and his head throbbed, but the nausea had tapered off and he could walk without getting dizzy or light headed. He still wasn't too sure how the actual concert would fair, but seeing Duo happy would more than make up for the pain.
With a soft grunt, Trowa slid gingerly out of his car and carefully hefted his bass guitar case from the back seat. His upper body strength was near nonexistent, and as Trowa made his way to the Student Union building he found himself second-guessing the decision to go on with the show. He groaned when he walked over to the outside staircase leading up to the bar area of the SU and opted for the long, handicapped accessible ramp that led up to the same place; there was no way he could handle walking up such a long stretch of stairs as weak as he was feeling.
Trowa wrestled open the door to The Pub with his free hand. Lady Gaga's voice filtered through the jumbled chatter of students cluttered around the bar and tables, the warm atmosphere drawing the tall boy inside. He easily spotted Quatre and the rest of his friends on the small stage on the opposite side of the venue. The four boys were still fiddling with their instruments and various equipment needed for the show. Duo was the first to see Trowa make his way over to the stage and the braided boy smiled- bright and infectious- waving animatedly as Trowa walked over and climbed onto the stage.
"Hey, man!" As Trowa moved closer, Duo took in the other boy's appearance and his smile fell. Trowa's skin held an ashy paleness to it, and his normally vibrant emerald green eyes looked dull and muted.
"Dude. You look like shit."
Trowa snorted and laid his guitar case down on the concrete of the stage, squatting down and unlocking the tabs. He flipped open the case, carefully easing out his bass guitar.
"Thanks, Duo. Exactly what I wanted to hear before the show."
Duo waved a hand and squatted down next to Trowa, grabbing the cord to connect the bass to one of the amps.
"You sure you're up to this? We can still bail, ya know."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Trowa gave Duo the biggest grin he could muster, the expression not quite reaching his eyes, and he slowly stood back up.
Duo followed suit, brushing off the thighs of his worn out whitewashed jeans. He watched as Trowa wasted no time in connecting his bass to the amplifier and stood the guitar in its stand next to Heero's. Duo let his eyes wander from Trowa to where the other three guys stood. Quatre was talking animatedly to Heero near his synthesizer and keyboards, and the dark haired boy's lips held a soft smile reserved only for the blonde.
Trowa made his way over to where Wufei was sitting bored-ly behind his drum kit, twirling one of his drumsticks with his fingers. When the Chinese boy noticed the other boy walking toward him, he offered a small smile.
"You ready, Barton?"
Trowa nodded and ran a hand through his hair, fixing his messy bangs. "As ready as I'm going to be, I suppose. You?"
Wufei laughed, drumming out a beat with the wooden sticks in his hands on his thighs. The boy was nervous, probably more so than the rest of the group. It was odd; Wufei was never nervous like this before a show. But deep in the pit of his stomach, he had a feeling of dread. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something told him that something bad would happen that night.
"Always," Wufei told Trowa nonchalantly, brushing aside his bad feeling about the concert.
Trowa shrugged and glanced over as Quatre and Heero walked over with Duo right behind, the braided boy bouncing with nerves and excitement.
"Let's do our best, guys!"
The boys nodded in agreement and made their way to their respective areas on stage, Heero and Trowa securing their guitars around their bodies while Quatre synced up his synthesizer. The bar radio was silenced and feet shuffled their way over to stand at the stage, students curious to see what college band was performing.
Duo grinned over at Trowa and grasped his microphone, removing it from the stand.
"Hey guys, we're Sandrock! You're in for one hell of a show."
With that, Quatre queued up his synthesizer and Wufei kicked out the opening rhythm of the band's opening song, starting off with a somewhat electronic cover of "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" to get the crowd going. Duo danced across the stage, his braid swinging behind him. Watching Duo's movements on the stage, Trowa found himself relaxing. His fingers plucked the strings of his bass fluidly, letting his eyes slip shut as he was consumed by the music. Duo pranced over to Trowa and sang into the other boy's microphone, and before Trowa could register what was happening, Duo placed a wet kiss to his cheek and bounced off to the other side of the stage. Trowa's fingers faltered slightly and he felt his face flush, but he quickly recovered and let the song come to a close.
Heero shared a grin with Duo and his fingers plucked the opening riff of the next song, one of the very first original songs Sandrock had written with Duo in the band. The crowd in front of the stage had grown incredibly huge. People were having to stand up at tables closer to the bar just to be able to see. The atmosphere in the air was enough to nearly choke Duo up a little, not having expected to receive such an overwhelming response from the other students on campus. The longhaired boy was beaming brighter than Trowa could even imagine, and he knew that not canceling the show had been the right thing to do.
By the fourth song, Trowa felt fatigue begin to set in. A cold sweat ran down his forehead and neck, dripping onto the soft cotton of his black scoop neck t-shirt. He tried to ignore the pain searing through his abdomen and concentrate on playing his bass, but the cramps were continuing to grow worse. He straightened his back so that he wasn't so hunched over his instrument, attempting to relieve the pressure building in his stomach and lower back. A particularly strong wave of pain seized through his body and he stumbled on his feet.
"Fuck," he mumbled under his breath as he regained his footing.
He looked up from focusing on playing and Duo's gaze snared him. The other boy continued to sing, but Trowa could see confusion in those cobalt eyes. Trowa shook it off and returned his attention back to the music playing around him. He focused on the chords, on the rhythm, shoving everything else out of his mind. A particularly heavy bass section was coming up, and Trowa knew he'd have to use all of his remaining energy in getting it right.
Trowa gritted his teeth as his belly cramped tight. His fingers faltered and he stumbled again, a wave of dizziness overtaking his senses.
Tears pricked behind Trowa's eyes from the pain, and he quickly blinked them away; he refused to cry over it, especially in front of Duo and the countless familiar faces from campus. His fingers trembled against the strings of his guitar and his vision was swimming. He couldn't breathe, his knees weak, and he was falling- everything seemed to slow down right before hearing a loud thud and a sharp pain shot through the back of his skull.
"Trowa!"
Everything faded to black.
The bar was in complete chaos. Patrons ran in every direction, some not sure if they should leave while others swarmed around the stage wanting to see what happened to the boy sprawled on his back, bass half on top of his unconscious body. Duo's microphone fell abandoned to the stage floor, a sharp squeal piercing through the sound system, but he didn't care. He rushed to Trowa's side, the three other boys following suit. Duo carefully freed the boy of his guitar and tried not to panic as he sank to his knees next to Trowa.
"Someone call an ambulance! Fuck!"
Wufei fumbled for his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1, struggling to stay calm while he told the operator what happened and where they were. Heero wrapped his arms around Quatre, trying to keep the blonde boy from freaking out.
An ambulance was three minutes out, three minutes that felt like an eternity. Duo didn't know what to do for Trowa. The boy passed was out on the cold concrete of the stage. Duo desperately wanted to hold him, but was afraid to move him in case he had hurt his head or neck in the fall. Instead Duo gripped one of Trowa's hands; the skin was cold and sticky with sweat but he refused to let go.
Two paramedics rushed into the bar and over to the stage, students who were still watching the scene unfold steering clear so that the two men could wheel through a stretcher. Reluctantly, Duo stood up and stepped out of the paramedics' way. He shoved his shaking hands into his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet, watching intently as the medics assessed Trowa.
"He's tachycardic, let's get him in a neck brace and on the stretcher and start a saline drip." One of the men looked away from Trowa and at the four waiting boys standing behind him. "Which one of you is riding with him?"
"I will." Duo stepped forward, watching as the medic held Trowa's head while the other fastened the brace around Trowa's neck. The two men carefully slid a board underneath Trowa, using it to stabilize the boy's body and lift him onto the waiting gurney.
Wufei rested a hand on Duo's left shoulder, his eyes surprisingly soft when Duo turned his head to look at the Chinese boy.
"Let Quatre go. He knows Trowa's medical history."
Duo frowned. "I want to go."
Quatre slipped from Heero's arms and started to speak but was abruptly cut off by the paramedic.
"You both can go. We need to get him to the hospital now."
Heero cupped his boyfriend's cheeks and gave him a firm kiss.
"Go. Wufei and I will follow in the Jeep."
Quatre gave Duo a sideways glance and nodded, quickly climbing into the back of the ambulance with other boy. He watched as the medic sitting in the back readied an IV and searched for a vein on Trowa's right arm, the medic's mouth curving in a small frown. He eventually managed to start the IV, hanging a bag of saline on the pole connected to the ceiling of the ambulance.
The man grabbed a clipboard from the seat next to him, jotting down a few notes. He went back to examining Trowa, stopping when he located the boy's wallet, and plucked out the boy's driver's license. He made a surprised noise as read the boy's information, jerking his gaze up to Quatre and Duo.
"Are you sure this is his license?"
The man handed the ID to Quatre and the blonde boy read over it, nodding.
"Yes, this is correct."
Duo looked over Quatre's shoulder, frowning as he read through the words written on the driver's license. It didn't make sense.
Name: Barton, Trina Elizabeth
Sex: Female
Author's Notes:
1. Tachycardia- In layman's terms, basically Trowa's heart is beating more rapid than it should.
2. For those of you who are wondering about what the G-boy's band actually sounds like, imagine that Saosin, Shiny Toy Guns, The Cab, and Cobra Starship (circa Viva La Cobra album) all had a giant orgy and Sandrock is their lovechild. Heh. Also, I took a bit of creative license in describing the layout of UNT. I attend a different university, and that's what I'm using as a guideline for this.
Thank you so much for reading! Any feedback/concrit is very much appreciated.