Tuesday
I'm in hospital. Ryou got back from the vets and found me unconscious on the kitchen floor with my hair on fire. Luckily it was only the ends so I'm still beautiful. The doctor said something about severe smoke inhalation but I don't really care what the problem is as long as they fix it. It's not fair why do I have such a wussy Hikari. Yami got 'brave little Yugi', Marik got 'sacred guardian Malik'. What did I get? 'Cry baby Ryou'. All he's been doing since the doctor left is crying and sobbing; something about thinking I was going to die. Honestly! I'm quite insulted. As if a mere house fire could finish me off. Marik was quite disappointed when he found out he missed a fire. I promised him we could burn something when I get out of the hospital, he liked that.
Stupid nurse! I kept telling her I wasn't hungry but she insisted that I eat something so she brought me this plate of hospital shite. And do you know what I found under the cabbage? Mushrooms! Can you believe it! I was so outraged that I threw the whole plate at her. I mean for Ra's sake, doesn't she know? The government is trying to hide it but I know the truth you see. Mushrooms don't grow in the woods. They actually come from the moon. They are travel pods for the evil aliens that live there. These aliens hide in the pods, wait for a human to eat them, then take over the human's body once they're inside! But they won't get me! I'm on to them AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Wow I've never had a shot before, it was very relaxing. The doctor says I should be able to go home at the end of the day once they've done some tests. I told him I feel fine but he insisted that I have the tests. I would have sent him to the shadow realm for his insolence but Ryou is still here. Oh Ra, what's that noise? What's that smell? It's, it's…nooooo it's the nerd herd!
Why won't they leave! I've tried everything. I scowled, I growled, I did an eggy fart, I threw up on the floor, I pretended to be asleep, I even screamed at them to go away! Ok, that's it, last resort time.
Yes! Uzi – 1, Nerd Herd – 0. The only downside is that it looks like I'll be spending tonight in jail.