Chapter One

previous disclaimer still in place

lost of reflecting back.. i still dont knwo where I'm going with this. I haven't really thought it through. My creative juices ran out after the intro (and it wasn't very creative anyway because i was just putting text to the video i saw)

oh and my parents keep kicking me off so i dont know how often this will last.

any idea what olivia's secret it? (or what it should be because i still haven't decide, though i think i know where im going, because i think i know where the epi is going, think about it, look at the title, "inconceivable"...)

Olivia looked over at Elliot. It was his turn to avoid her gaze.

"I'm sorry, Elliot, I just…"

"You know I support you. I was only trying to help."

"I know you were. I just didn't know whether I wanted to Share this conversation with you…"

"You used to trust me," Elliot said, with his eyes still fixed on the road ahead. Olivia looked down at her hands. She felt ashamed.

"I know I did," she started and saw Elliot move in his seat uncomfortably, "I still do." She tried to fix it. It didn't work. He looked back over towards her as if he didn't believe her.

"Elliot, don't pretend you don't know things are different between us now." She trusted him with her life, but the past year has been an emotional rollercoaster for them both. They had to be careful around each other or they'd be putting both their partnership and friendship in jeopardy.

Silence filled the car. They were both deep in thought. Each was hesitant about saying anything else. The slightest critique could cause their fragile relationship to shatter on the ground beneath them.

Olivia reflected back to where it all started going wrong.

"You and this job are about the only things I've got anymore. I don't want to wreck that"

He told her that if things didn't change, they wouldn't be able to work together. Olivia couldn't believe what he was telling her, but took immediate action. She thought he was right; time away from Elliot would be best for their relationship. Later that night she went to Captain Cragen, head of the Special Victims Unit, and asked for a new partner. She was transferred over to Computer Crimes where she thought she'd be better off. She didn't want to be the cause of Elliot's frustration. She was wrong, though. They were worse. When she came back things were still awkward. She couldn't take it. She went undercover for the FBI later that year. Even though her job description said no one was to know, she still would've told Elliot under normal circumstances, but they hadn't had a chance to get back to normal.

By the time Olivia came back again, their relationship was strained farther than anyone had ever seen it. They were unable to work with each other. They weren't in sync anymore. Fights were started from nowhere, where she would say things she regretted.

"And eight years in this unit tells me that I don't need to be married to know when an abusive man is escalating"

Elliot thought about what he'd said to Olivia. It was his fault she ever left. He drove her away. He was lucky she came back. The next time, he might not be so lucky.

"Is there something you want to say to me, because if you do, then let's hear it," she said.

"Why didn't you shoot Gitano?"

" He was using the child as a shield."

"How could you let him get so close to you?"

" There were innocent civilians around. I couldn't get a shot."

" Well, you got close, and Ryan's dead."

" So this is my fault?

Elliot shook his head reflecting on it. Why did he blame her? He was just so worried. His nerves were on end. She'd almost died. What would he do without her? When he was talking to Huang, he said he regretted saving Olivia when she didn't need him.

"I wish I didn't…" he'd started to say, but Dr. Huang finished his sentence for him.

"Didn't what? Didn't ... care so much? Elliot, that's what makes you a good partner."

He did care too much, and he made the mistake of telling her. She thought it was her fault. She couldn't have been more wrong. It was his fault that he wasn't telling her the whole truth. It drove her away. Now she's back and he's going to do his hardest to keep it that way.

Of course the most recent events have kept them both on the edge of an anxiety break. Olivia found out she has a brother, who was suspected of rape. After finally clearing him, Elliot's wife, Kathy, who he got pregnant though they were submitting their divorce papers, was held hostage by a psychopath. Next, Elliot has his head bashed into a car window by a perp and is temporarily blinded. Later, Olivia took Kathy to a doctor's appointment as a favor for Elliot and they were in a car crash. Kathy goes into labor while pinned in the car and Olivia not only helps keep her alive while the emergency rescue works on getting her out of there, but was in the ambulance with her while she was giving birth.

Olivia was in a haze the rest of the time. She remembers Elliot bursting through the hospital doors, pushing right past her to Kathy. She read Elliot's lips when he told Kathy he loved her. When Elliot came back out, she thought he would be angry with her for putting Kathy and Elliot jr. in jeopardy, but he wasn't. Though she saw the "I love you" earlier, her hope was renewed when Elliot turned around and hugged her. He was about to walk right past her, and she was satisfied with his gratitude, but last minute he pulled her hand. The touch of his hand sent shocks through her, and little did she know, through him as well. He turned her around and hugged her. Not just a 'thanks' hug, but a real hug. A hug that had meaning behind it. A hug that she had never actually had before. Growing up without a family, as her mother was drunk most of the time and could barely stand to look at Olivia; she had never experienced a hug laced with love. Even though it wasn't the time for romantic love, it was the love of friendship with hope. A love that they both secretly felt would grow.

Elliot broke the silence, "Olivia, what do you say we get something to eat. I think we should talk."