Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Total Drama Franchise. Now, back to Alexis.

5 AM wakeup calls were cruel and unusual punishment. 5 AM wakeup calls meant I didn't have time to calm my unruly red Irish curls before 5:30. Sharing a bathroom with twenty other people meant I didn't even get to shower. So who can blame me for being cranky?

I stumbled outside, not looking nearly as fresh and well-groomed as I normally do, and focused on shooting latent rays of pure hate out of my eyes at Chris Maclean. When Skater Boi- Dominic- stood next to me looking like he wanted to say something I snapped at him.

"What do you want?" I spat at him.

"Um, you're-"

"I changed my mind," I cut him off. "I'm not interested. Why don't you talk to somebody interested, like Talia, Skater Boi?" Whoops, I hadn't meant to share my private nickname for him.

"I just wanted to tell you that you're only wearing one shoe," he said, pointing to my feet.

Apparently, 5 AM wakeup calls also meant I wasn't awake enough to function.

I let out a cry of pure frustration and stomped back towards the cabin. I fished around under my bed, being careful to avoid any creepy crawly things hanging out under there, and located my other shoe.

I rejoined the group just as Chris made a particularly disturbing screeching noise with his megaphone. "Okay interns," he said, his already annoying voice amplified to even more annoying levels. I hooked my shoe onto my foot and tried to smooth my hair down a bit. "Once again. Group A come with-"

"Sorry I'm late!" Talia called, running towards the group. She was annoyingly fresh and perky. I glared at her. She was the reason I hadn't gotten a shower. She had tied up the communal bathroom for forever. It probably took her that long to put on her pounds of makeup.

"Anyway," Chris continued. "Group A come with-"

"Has anyone seen my shoe?" Talia interrupted again. "Somebody stole it!"

I didn't bother to acknowledge that. Does she only have one pair of shoes or something? "Group A come with me," Chris finally managed to say, shooting death rays of his own at Talia. "Group B goes to the forest and Group C is placing their cameras around the campsite."

"Hey, you took my shoe!" Talia yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at me.

I gave her my most withering stare. "Of course I didn't."

"Why don't your shoes match then?" she asked smugly.

"My shoes match, you id-" I trailed off when I noticed that actually, my shoes didn't match. Sure, they were both ballet flats and they were both blue, but hers had a giant white bow and were infinitely more tacky than mine. Plus, the shoe didn't even really fit me. But hadn't I taken the shoe from under my bed?

Oh, forget it, in my sleep deprived state, anything was possible.

"Thief!" she yelled, advancing on me with a triumphant stare.

"Oh, take your stupid shoe!" I said, fed up with the whole situation. I pulled it off my foot and threw it in her direction. Of course, with my terrible aim, the situation went horribly wrong. Several jaws dropped simultaneously, mine included, when the shoe hit her in the face. And that was the beginning of a long-lasting rivalry.

I spooned a mouthful of blended disgustingness into my mouth and nearly gagged it out. I swallowed as quickly as humanly possible and bent over the clipboard next to it. Blended cockroaches. I had just eaten blended cockroaches. I circled a ten and tried not to hurl.

When Chris had led us into the mess hall earlier that morning, a buffet table of things I wished I had never seen was set out. He tasked us with sampling everything and rating it in terms of disgustingness. So far, everything I had eaten was a ten.

"Ohmahgawd, she's such a beyotch," Talia whispered loudly. "I totally can't believe she would steal. And she looks totally terrible doesn't she? I guess that's what happens when you can't afford a plastic surgeon." Her cronies cackled along with her. (Yeah, she already had a posse. Ridiculous, right?)

"I knew it!" I said, giving her a sickly sweet smile. "You had plastic surgery! Nobody's born with a nose that crooked. You sued the surgeon, right?"

"Ouch!" Patrick- aka my really buff, tan roommate- yelled. Apparently other people were listening to this argument. "You go sista!" That comment was not appreciated by yours truly.

Talia's hands flew up to her nose and she glared at me. "At least my hair doesn't make me look like Chucky!"

Burn. I rolled my eyes dramatically. Now maybe that bowl of hangnail soup could just tip over a little bit and spill all over her. I bumped the table with my hip, hoping I could will it to tip all the way. Instead, I managed to spill something brown and still wriggling over Dominic.

"Dude, it's moving!" he said, holding his shirt away from his body. He ran out of the room at top speed.

"You totally did that on purpose!" Talia accused.

I suddenly had everybody in the room glaring at me. I sighed.

"After that relaxing morning, I thought I'd give you guys something more fun to do," Chris announced. "So all you have to do here is race down the cliff in these go karts and ride all the way around the island until you get to the finish line at the beach. Oh, and just to keep it interesting, the last person back doesn't get lunch."

Doesn't get lunch? DOESN'T GET LUNCH? IF I DON'T DO WELL I WON'T GET ANY FREAKING LUNCH?

"Here are the teams," Chris continued, oblivious to everyone's abject horror. "Alexis and Dominic, Talia and Richard-"

I was so mad I couldn't see straight. Now Chris wasn't just making us do ridiculous things, he was making us compete in them? And I had to do this with Dominic, who I had just spilled something unidentifiable onto.

I wanted that lunch. I had just eaten unspeakable things for breakfast, so I deserved a delicious lunch. "Your cart, milady," Patrick said, opening the tiny door on the side of my cart. It came off in his hand and I snickered. Dominic pretty much ignored me once we were in the cart. I noticed that he was wearing a new shirt. I felt sort of bad, so I didn't even protest when he took control of the wheel.

Of course, like everything else in this campground, the go karts were in terrible shape. I felt like I was sitting on a rock instead of a seat and I swore I could see some bolts falling off at the back.

Patrick smiled and waved at me. What was up with him? I didn't get why he kept spouting cheesy pickup lines and trying to be some sort of strange gentleman from the eighteenth century.

"On your mark, get set," Chris said slowly. "Goooooo!"

We leapt into action!

I wish I could say that, but it didn't happen. When Dominic pressed on the gas, the kart sputtered, shuddered, and didn't move an inch. I moaned and jumped out of the kart. Talia turned around in her seat and waved with the smuggest smile on her face. Her cart disappeared from view and I kicked our dumb old kart in frustration. A piece fell off the back, as if to spite me.

"That's not going to do anything," Dominic said patiently.

"Do you have a better idea?" I snapped. I kicked it again and amazingly, it sputtered to life. And since Dominic still had his foot jammed on the gas, he flew forward and left me in the dust. I sprinted after him, yelling for him to stop.

"I can't!" he yelled back.

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"The gas pedal is stuck!"

"Figures," I muttered to myself. I skidded to a stop and stared furiously in the direction Dominic had disappeared.

"Better get moving," Chris said, walking past me casually. "If both of you don't pass the finish line together, it doesn't count."

How the heck was I supposed to catch up?

I came up with an idea eventually. All I had to do was get to the beach and intercept the kart before it passed the finish line. I got to the beach easily and waited. And waited. And waited. Seriously, how long does it take to drive around this island?

It took a really really really long time, but I eventually sighted two specks in the distance. They stopped being specks pretty quickly and got closer at an alarming rate. One of the carts was mine, but the other belonged to Talia and her partner. Their cart was made of bare bones- an engine and two seats held together by spindly wiring. All of the outer coverings of their kart had disappeared to who knows where.

The two karts were neck in neck and Talia sure didn't look happy to see me. I'm sure Talia was trying to run me over. Really, I'm not just paranoid. Just as she nearly sent me flying, I leapt for Dominic and our uncontrollable kart. It didn't quite work as I planned. Instead of landing neatly inside the kart like an awesome action hero, the front of the kart smashed into my stomach and pushed me across the finish line. I clung to the kart desperately, hoping I wasn't going to be thrown to a gruesome death.

"Awesome!" Chris cheered as we flew by him. "You guys win!"

"Stop the kart!" I ordered Dominic. I don't think I had ever been more terrified than I was at that moment. The kart was going at such a high speed that I don't think I could have fallen off even if I had released my death grip on the out of control machine, but I was certain that that was how I was going to die. Death by go kart. Such a sad way to go.

"If I could, I would have already," Dominic informed me, far calmer than I was. He was amazing collected under the pressure, my frazzled and panic struck brain noted. I felt water touch my ankles and I maxed out the panic scale. Now I was going to die by drowning? That might actually be worse than death by go kart!

Thankfully, at least one of the people on the kart was using their brain. (I'll give you a hint: It wasn't me.) Once we were partially submerged in the water, Dominic hopped off and pulled me with him. The kart left us behind. It must have stopped eventually, but who knows where it is now.

We stood in the ocean, the water swirling around our legs. I proceeded to start shaking with pure, unadulterated fear. "We almost died!" I shrieked.

"Hey, chill, it'll be fine," he said soothingly, a comforting arm around me. "It's all good." Amazingly, that calmed me a little bit.

I heard a wolf whistle from the shore and saw the majority of Group A staring at us. Then I remembered where I was and with whom. Then the comforting arm didn't seem so comforting anymore. I extricated myself from him and stalked back to shore. "Got a new boyfriend, Alexis?" Talia said, a mean smirk on her face.

"Shut up," I snapped.

"Alexis and Dominic sitting in a tree," she sang. It got worse. The whole group joined in, including Chris. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, second comes-"

"Could you be any more juvenile?" I asked.

"Third comes a baby in a baby carriage," they finished.

It depressed me later when I realized that I wouldn't have come in last even if I didn't throw myself in the way of a moving vehicle because so many people had crashed along the way.

"Oooh," Talia cooed. "Sitting next to lover boy, I see."

"I didn't sit next to him, he sat next to me!" I yelled after her. She waltzed away with her plate in hand and sat at the opposite end of the mess hall table.

"Wow, I didn't know that was a crime," Dominic said good-naturedly.

"Why are you sitting here?" I hissed.

"I'm just sitting by my buddy, Patrick," he replied, gesturing across the table at the muscular guy. Patrick smiled in my direction but I rolled my eyes.

"Well, could you just avoid me from now on?" I said. "Both of you," I said, turning on Patrick. I took an angry bite of my pizza.

"No can do," Dominic said cheerfully.

"Why?"

"I like you." He smiled and I noticed that he had a dimple on his right cheek. "You're pretty fun."

"Well, I don't like you," I replied.

"And you're honest," he said. Wow, everything just bounced off him. I could probably curse him out and he would laugh it off.

"Besides, honey, you're fun to tease," Patrick added.

My mood managed to get even blacker than it already was. I stood and stomped to the garbage to throw out my paper plate. When I came back, the conversation had moved on.

"I heard she got a concussion," Dominic said, leaning his elbows on the table.

"She gets to go home?" Patrick said. "Lucky!"

I was against talking to them, but this sounded interesting. "Who?"

"I thought you wanted to avoid me?" Dominic said, the wide smile appearing again. The dimple was really cute. But it didn't make up for his terrible personality. I fixed him with my deadliest glare. He laughed and answered my question. "Rachel, one of the girls in our group."

"She got a concussion? How?" I asked.

"Crashed her kart into a tree, sweetie," Patrick said matter-of-factly.

"She gets to go home?" I asked. "She is lucky." And then it registered that he had just called me sweetie, so I yelled at him.

I didn't know until later, but at that time one of the Group B girls was in the infirmary after being bitten by a poisonous snake. Those two girls might have been the first to be injured, but they definitely weren't the last.

I laid in my bed, my eyes fixed on a dark spot in the wood on top of me. Was that a discoloration in the wood, or a large bug? I didn't think I was going to be able to sleep until I figured it out.

"Heeheehee, Dominic, you're so funny," Talia simpered. I didn't even need to look at her to know that she was practically sitting in his lap drooling over him. Her cackling laugh had been annoying me all night. Why wouldn't she leave him alone and go to bed so there could be peace in our cabin?

I didn't know why she was so obsessed with him either. Sure, he had an adorable dimple. (My thoughts are off the record, okay?) That didn't make him cuter than Patrick, who was seriously attractive. Plus, Dominic was tall and lanky while Patrick was buff and tan. Then again, they both had strange personalities.

The dark spot above my head moved, confirming its status as a creepy creature. I squealed and flipped out of the bed onto the floor.

So I'm scared of bugs. Sue me.

I lay on the floor for a split second feeling utterly ridiculous. Did I really just make a fool of myself in front of Dominic and Talia? Yeah? Just checking. I scrambled to my feet and stood there in my pajamas- which, by the way, are stylish, not gross like some people's are. "There's a bug," I said lamely. Dominic tried and failed to hide his smile. Talia didn't bother to conceal her laughter.

"I'll get the dastardly bug that dares frightens you!" Patrick said dramatically, leaping from the top bunk. The effect was kind of ruined by him stubbing his toe and hopping around the room in pain.

Dominic laughed hysterically. "What century are you from, dude?"

"I'm going to the bathroom," I announced shamed-facedly.

"Be careful of those giant bugs out there!" Talia called after me.

I waited until I was in the privacy of the bathroom stall to stick my tongue out at her.

Ah, the sweet sweet smell of drama! Thanks for reading!