"I Hate Mondays"

Bender's POV

I watched Claire run off in the other direction as her tiny blonde friend threw punches at my stomach.

"Look Princess." I started. "You're gonna have to stop that before I end up in the hospital." I said, feigning sincerity and putting a hand to my stomach where she was punching.

"Yeah?" She breathed, trying to slap my face and failing miserably. I ducked and her hand slapped the locker hard.

"Yeah. Its nine thirty sweets, shouldn't you be in first period by now?" She gasped and ran off after Claire, pushing her annoyingly straight hair behind her ears. I gave her the finger once her back was turned, and headed for the front doors. It made no sense going to first period anyways, now that I had already missed half of it.

Just as I put my hand on the door my favorite principle was there to stop me.

I turned to face him. "How's it hangin' Dick?" I asked.

"You just earned yourself another Saturday Bender." He snapped, wrenching my hand from the door handle.

"What'd you do that for man? I was just on my way out!" I yelled, putting my hand in the exact spot it had been before.

"Where were you headed Mr. Bender?" He asked.

"Oh, nowhere special. Maybe down to the jiffy lube to get high. Why, you thinking you might join me Dick? Cuz I'd love company once and a while." I opened the door a crack and he pulled it shut.

"You're not going anywhere Bender. Come with me." I followed him to his office and sat down in a chair, putting my feet up on his desk.

"Nice place you've got here. Mind if we reschedule though? I really do hafta split. I'm meeting someone." I got up and lit a cigarette from my pocket.

"Another Saturday Bender. Put it out. . . now."

I dropped the cigarette and stamped it out with my foot.

"Sit down Bender, we need to chat." I dropped down in the seat again. "You were caught ditching class last week at the exact same time, remember?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry sir; I can't say that I do. See, I lost some of my memory cells when my dad punched me last night." And I wasn't lying. He had come home rip-roaring drunk and threw a punch at my head. But unlike Claire's friend, he had perfect aim.

"I bet you deserved it Bender, I bet you deserved it." He sneered at me.

"Please don't make that face sir, I don't feel like vomiting today." I said slowly. He got up and came around to where I was sitting.

"Say that again Bender and I promise you'll have one more bruise to add to your collection." He hissed.

"Thanks but no thanks Dick." I said, pushing his face away and standing up. "You know, this talk really helped me." I said, putting a hand on my heart. "We should do this more often."

"Ok then. How about in ten Saturdays, because you've just earned another detention."

"Alright, it's a date." I said, patting him on the back. "See you in next Saturday. And the one after that. And the one after that. And the one after that. And the one after th-"

"OK ENOUGH BENDER!!! JUST GET OUT OF HERE!" He yelled, pushing me out of his office.

I laughed. "Works every time. . .Sucker." I whispered, exiting the school and making my way down the street to the nearest Jiffy Lube.

a/n: Reviewer replies!!!!!!!

pantspie-thanks so much for being a fan of my work and I'm glad you like it. I'm gonna be away at camp for the next month starting tomorrow, so sorry if the next update doesn't come for a while. That goes for every reviewer as well.

TeacherTam-Don't cry! Don't worry, they won't be hateful, just the usual sarcastic little prats that they were in the movie. You can never grow out of a classic.

Elx-I'm glad you like it. Here's chapter two....see if you still agree with your previous review.

Stmaryspeakstofaeries-Interesting screen-name! Thanks for the review, it means so much to have people who like the fic.

Sarah-Keep reviwing, and I'll keep going

Angela-keep your hair on and remember that I can only update so fast...and that's not fast at all. Just remember that I will never forget about this story unless you guys forget about it first....so remember to r/r!

Becc-gallanter-Don't think I would forget you! You review everything of mine, so I really have no more to say. Lylas!