Disclaimer: Grab some caffeine and a comfortable chair, because this is kind of a long one. Don't own Hey Arnold, but beggars can't be choosers. If someone other than me has to own it, than I'm glad it's Mr. B. now, I know this seems somewhat Helga-centric, and this chapter may seem like it has little to do with the other one, but I'm just setting the mood and tone. I promise the next one will be Arnold-centric. I also know it was a low tactic for me to put my own book in there and say Helga wrote it, but hey, I'm a starving artist, and need to get recognition in what ever way works.
HA
Light gently filtered through the window beneath semi-crooked blinds, landing on a nightstand that was cluttered with books, picture frames, a lamp, and an orange cell phone next to an old engagement ring. The creature within the brown comforter and bright orange sheets squirmed somewhat as the cell phone began playing a loud Time Warp (Remix 1989 Extended Version) from 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. Slowly but surely, a thin hand reached out and pulled the cell phone under the covers, only to have it re-emerge silent.
This was the third time the song was heard, so Helga knew by now she had to get up. She was never a morning person, and had devised a system to help her out. She would set her alarm for six, hit the snooze twice, and roll out of bed by the third one. At six forty five, she would crawl to the shower if it was open and creep into the kitchen/living room area if it was not. And of course, it wasn't.
Shuffling her feet towards the kitchen, she must've taken a bit longer than usual, for she already heard the beginnings of a news show. Grabbing a bag of some generic cereal – wheatie-something or other – the milk, a large spoon and a giant to-go mug from the nineties, she began to make her cold breakfast. After that was ready, and the ingredients were left out for who ever wants to eat the same thing, she made her way to the couch. There sat Jude, Lauren's boyfriend, watching some religious show.
Helga had moved out of her parents home when she was seventeen, after she had her parents relinquish their rights over her. Lauren had a similar home life, so the two moved into an apartment with Lauren's boyfriend. It was working quite nicely for the three of them. The three of them go to different schools, but Lauren and Helga work at the same place, and Jude works across the street as a dishwasher/bus boy at an Italian café, so the commute is never lonely.
She just sat down on the couch, shoveling her food into her mouth, when she blanched, having heard the word 'God' several times in one opening monologue.
"What are you watching?" she asked accusingly while turning to face the moss-haired kid.
"'The 700 Hundred Club'." He said, while Helga just looked at him, mouth agape.
"Jude, you're a Buddhist."
"Just scoping the competition." He smirked, causing her to smile and smack the side of his head, then kiss it as if to make it better.
"By the way, I love your outfit today. Who designed it, Armani?" she knew he was teasing as he gave her a once over, and she couldn't help but play along.
"No darling, from Milan. Only the best, only the best."
Really her pajamas were anything but. Her flannel pants were a plaid purple/pink that were faded and worn. Her shirt was the group theatre shirt she got from the company when they did Arthur Miller's The Crucible her sophomore year; which, by the way, was stretch at the shoulders from when Jude borrowed it. As for her hair, well, it fell to about mid neck, and still had dried product in it from yesterday making stick up in weird places.
"Hey Helga, shower's open." Lauren's voice came into the foyer/kitchen/living room area, as well as a strong scent of coconut. Helga nodded, and got off the couch, handing Jude her mug of cereal in the process. He immediately began eating, his eyes moving back to the screen as Lauren took Helga's spot. Just before she entered the one bathroom they all shared, she heard Lauren speak.
"What on Earth are you watching?"
HA
The three of them were pulling on their cons, just about ready to hit the road for school, when the phone rang, causing them to jump. Lauren quickly made her way over to the cordless, and hit 'talk'.
"Hello? . . . Mmhmm . . . Really? Alright, thank you for notifying us Sir. Good luck with that." With that, she hung up the phone, and turned to Jude.
"Change of plans, hun, a bomb threat was called in. you and I get a 'No School Day'."
Jude let out a whoop of joy, and started taking his shoes off, while Helga just kept putting hers on.
"Hey, Helga, I'm gonna come to school with you, alright? I'd rather be there than here all day, since I don't work today." Lauren noted as she bent over to continue with tying her last shoe. Helga nodded, and as the two grabbed their stuff, they stopped and turned to Jude.
"Now Jude, I want you to empty the dishwasher." Lauren said as she snatched her keys to the apartment.
"And take Benny for a walk, the poor baby wants one terribly." Helga continued as she grabbed her mug of hot apple cider she made the night before.
"And vacuum the floor so it's not like we're walking on dirt."
"And try not to spend all day looking at porn and Hentai on the internet."
With that said, the two girls left the apartment, and went to stand in the parking lot, waiting for Phoebe to come and pick up Helga.
Phoebe arrived a few minutes later, her small blue 95 Subaru blaring American Hi-Fi. Well, blaring for the little Japanese woman – which really meant you could hear music, but couldn't be sure who it was, what they were saying, or where it was coming form until you were right next to the car.
Helga opened the front passenger door and slid in gracefully, while Lauren just hopped into the back seat, and sat in the middle so her face was between Helga and Phoebe.
"Ohayo Phoebe." Both girls chorused, while their friend looked from one face to another.
"Ohayo Helga, ohayo Lauren. School basement flooded again?"
"Bomb threat."
"Oh my, well, at least they notified you. So where's Jude?" Phoebe asked while looking around the parking lot for the tall man.
"Probably inside watching porn. Come on Phoebe, let's just go, I wanna meet this Lila."
Helga just about choked on her cider, and glared at Lauren, who laughed while Phoebe pulled out of the lot and started off towards P.S. 118.
HA
The second the woman at the office saw the blue hair, she pulled out a visitors pass, and wrote 'Lauren Edwards' on it in elegant script. The girls smiled when they saw the woman all ready to give Lauren her pass.
"My Lauren, what happened this time? Did the septic tanks back up into the locker rooms again?"
"No Mrs. Blackwell, there was a bomb threat." Mrs. Blackwell gasped when she heard that. She knew P.S. 119 had its problems, but a bomb threat?
"Well my dear, know that you are perfectly safe here." Lauren nodded while she took the pass from the older woman's soft hands.
"I do, and I am grateful that your school is willing to let me stay here while these things happen."
And with that, the three smiled and waved goodbye, while they made their way to class.
Helga's first class was Senior Honors English, her favorite class. Not only was it because she loved literature, but also because Phoebe and Arnold were also in this class, and today they were doing project.
"Helga, you and Arnold are going to be pair for this assignment, because you haven't been paired together all year yet. Now, class, you and your partner find your own place, and start your research. Remember, this assignment is on the other person: you have to write a creative piece, be it poem, short story, or the like. Oh, and Helga, I suppose this little leech will have to be with you and Arnold." Their instructor, Mr. Johnson, informed the class, watched as they dispersed themselves – some to the library, some to the corners of the classroom, some out in the hall, and others outside.
Arnold, Helga, and Lauren sat in the hall, the papers spread out in front of them, pencils held firmly between their teeth.
"Well, Helga, I think this should be a breeze, seeing as how we know each other so well." Arnold smirked, and Lauren shot Helga a look.
"Uh-oh, I smell conflict. I'm gonna go to the bathroom." And with that, she ran off, leaving the other two alone.
"Arnold, we may be pretty good friends, but you really don't know as much about me as you think you do." She said with a sigh as she wrote her name on all the papers, not looking at him.
"I think I do, Helga. I know you like pink, dogs, and old time music." Well, once he said everything he knew, he realized he really didn't know all that much about her.
"Well, Arnold, I guess I'll go first in this assignment, than. Did you know that my favorite color is orange, and I wear at least one article of clothing with that color every day? Or that I'm saving up for a red '71 mustang that's for sale in Arizona? That I'm addicted to hot apple cider? That I want to go to film school? That I write poetry? How about that I self-published my own book? Face it, Arnold, you really don't know me at all." Surprisingly, she said all this with little anger.
Arnold took all this in with wide eyes, watching the girl in front of him. A small, apologetic smile made its way across his lips.
"What are you wearing today that's orange?" he said quietly, and Helga's face snapped up to look at him. Seeing him smile, she smirked in acceptance, and lifted up a jean leg. There, between her feet and low top converse, was a pair of bright orange ankle socks.
Arnold smiled, and began to write all the stuff she told him on his sheet, when he turned to her again.
"So, what's the name of your book?" she blushed and looked to him, but her smirk was there, and lasted longer than the red tint to her cheeks.
"'Tales From A Wandering Mind'. Its total crap, but at least it's my crap."
Arnold was just about to reply, when an announcement came over the PA system.
"Attention students: the theatre group needs to report to the stage, along with Mr. Johnson immediately. Thank you." Just as suddenly, Mr. Johnson opened the door, and turned to Arnold.
"Arnold, a Mr. Hastings is making his way down here to sub as we speak, but I want you to be in charge of those who are still in the class while you're unsupervised. Let him know what's going on, how some of our students are missing and why. Helga, as soon as your little leech friend comes back, get down to the stage."
"Yes Sir, Mr. DoJo Sir." She saluted him, and he smirked while making his way down the hall. A few moments later, Lauren came bounding down the same hall, narrowly missing Mr. Johnson, and stopped to motion to Helga.
Helga, in return, waved, and turned to Arnold with a shrug.
"Guess I'll see you around Football Head." She then ran to catch up with Lauren, while Arnold retreated back into the classroom.
HA
By lunch time, when the theatre class still hadn't been released from the stage, everyone at the table figured they would be there all day.
"Man, have you seen Lauren, Helga's friend? Damn, she's hot." Sid quipped as he and Harold sat down with their brown paper bags. Phoebe was opening a Bento for Gerald –she had really gotten in tune with her Japanese heritage over the past few years – while Gerald just eyed it with suspicion. Sophomore year he had asked Phoebe to be his girl, and she nearly fainted, but decided instead to tackle him to the ground in the middle of the hallway.
Arnold smiled at his friend's trepidation while picking at his sort of warm pizza. Lila giggled as she and Rhonda unloaded their salads.
"You know, Sid, she has a boyfriend." Phoebe interjected as she handed a pair of chopsticks to Gerald.
"I don't know; has anyone seen this boyfriend of hers?" Rhonda joked, then slumped when Curly arrived at the table with a small thing of soup and a piece of cake. Curly was still strange, and still in love with Rhonda.
"Helga has." Phoebe defended again as she began to eat her onigiri.
"Just Helga? Has anyone else seen him?" Harold shot back.
"Well, I have." A different voice from the ones at the table spoke, and everyone turned to see a girl with blue hair and a visitor's pass upside-down on her stomach.
"Hey Lauren." Arnold and phoebe said together in unison, while Phoebe moved over a bit to make room for her.
"Hey, which one of you is Lila?" she asked, and everyone looked to the petite red head, who blushed prettily.
"Why are you looking for me?" Lila replied, but before Lauren could explain, the clicking of heels could be heard coming down the hall.
There, at the entrance to the cafeteria, stood a blonde woman in a dark green 1940s skirt and jacket, with low black heels and a dark green side cap. Her hair was up in a side bun, and her lips were a deep crimson. She sent a quick glance about the room, then made her way towards the table the group was sitting at.
"Hey guys, does anyone here have food they can donate to a starving artist?" the voice was definitely Helga, but it was hard to believe the sight was her. Granted, she had lost her unibrow long ago, and now had thick, dark blonde eye brows, and had grown a figure and some height, but still . . . this beauty frozen in time was Helga?
Phoebe handed her some rice without much thought to Helga's appearance, and Lauren scooted over so the blonde now sat between her and Phoebe.
"So, how's rehearsal going?" Rhonda ventured, while Lila was still looking at Lauren in curiosity – mostly her blue hair.
Before anyone could comment on anything, the PA system sparked to life again.
"Lauren Edwards, please report to the office and go back to your own school. Your principle has called several times in the past forty five minutes to let you know your school is safe." Mrs. Blackwell's voice seemed to be smiling and Phoebe and Lauren laughed while Helga got up so Lauren could. The blue haired girl kissed Phoebe's head, and waved to the others while she and Helga kissed cheeks.
"See ya after school I guess."
"Make sure that good for nothing squeeze toy of yours walks my dog."
The two laughed, then Lauren leaned in to whisper in Helga's ear.
"That Lila's not so great." The two laughed again, while one made her way to the building, and one made her way back to the table.
"Oh crap, is that the time?! I gotta get back to rehearsal. See you guys later!" and with that, Helga took off, and soon, not even the sound of her heels on the linoleum could be heard.
"Hey yo, I gotta question." Gerald finally spoke up, and the rest looked at him.
"Yes Gerald?" Phoebe prompted while going back to her food.
"What in the hell just happened?"
HA